Sirens, page 47
her into the bed. From the cart, they uncoiled a long evil-looking
rubber hose. Terrified, she began to scream as they tried to insert the
hose into one nostril. She whipped her head back and forth until one of
the attendants gripped her jaw so powerfully it brought tears to her
eyes. She felt as-if her jaw were dislocated. Immediately the other
attendant inserted the hose. She coughed and gagged as the horrid thing
went down her throat. The attendant who held her leaned close to her.
She could see a pimple on his cheek, red and inflamed. ' you don't lie
still,' he hissed, ''ll never be able to stand it.' He smiled, not
unkindly. ''re going to do it anyway, so it's your choice." She lay
back, trembling with tension and fear, her sweat rollirig down her brow,
tasting salty as it trickled through her lips.
and they fed her through the hose. After that, she never ref Used to eat
anything they gave her. She did refuse to see Monika, though. Eighteen
days after she had begun the insulin therapy, Dr. Geist came to h( her
that her mother would be allowed to see her. ' only it you wish it," he
said. She didn't and so she remained alone. Not every day but often, she
would have the visions of strangulation that had come to her during the
early moments 408 her. first treatment. Always they would be the same,
inning with Dr. Geist as her adversary - ' is quite raly'hc said to her,
nodding, when she had told him of it - n Monika, metamorphosing into
that shadowy face that med so familiar yet so devastatingly terrifying.
' feel moorings of your conscious mind coming loose,' the doctor ld her.
' underneath, before it succumbs totally and pass out, you get glimpses
of what lies in those depths.' On a morning after she dreamt of Dr.
Geist dancing a jig the light of an awful, swollen moon, the ends of his
inous white coat flapping about his thighs, she came face face with the
identity of her last - and ', according the doctor - antagonist. It was
her father. Her dead father r whom she felt only love. And here she was
strangling him screaming over and over, ''t leave me, please don't e
me,' and then: ' hate you for leaving mev Two and a half months after
the beginning of her incar- tion al White Cedars, Dr. Geist came into
her room with ile of clothes. ''s time for you to leave, Daina. You're
cured.' Cured of what? she thought.
She put the flat of her hand the pile. ' are not mine.' ' are now'.
We've bought them for you,' Dr. Geist said tly. ' wouldn't fit into your
old ones.' And indeed when she finished dressing and looked at herself
he mirror, she did not recognize either the face or the body ected
there. While she was unconscious it seemed as if some woman had come in
to live. She was, sickened by the sight. On the doorstep of White
Cedars, Dr. Geist stopped her. hand was light on her arm. ''t you want
to know why r mother isn't here to pick you up?' ',' Daina said, '
don't. We don't care much about each er.' ' cared enough to have you
brought here,' the doctor . out. Daina almost laughed in his face.
"She wanted me made . In her own image.' ''s a sin,' Dr. Geist said with
a faraway look in his eyes, y parents are guilty of.' 409 She glared at
him. Behind her she could hear the traffic hiss; a dog barking, children
laughing. Those sounds were calling to her now. ' don't all go to such
lengths.' I ' only wanted what was best for you.' His voice seemed
abruptly heavy on the cold air. She had gone in in the dead of winter.
Now it was nearly spring and the trees were beginning to bud, the first
birds to make their summer nests. '?" "Daina, your mother's in the
hospital. She's been ill for about six weeks.' Daina looked away from
him, away from White Cedars towards the red-tile face of the mall on the
far side of the Parkway. For a moment, she watched the line of suburban
mothers pulling into the lot with their Chevy, Buick or Olds station
wagons, their hair still in curlers under multicoloured scarves. She
wondered what their lives were like. Were they as simple as she believed
them to be? Were they happy when their husbands came home? When their
children laughed? Were they frustrated when the garbage disposal broke
down; unhappy when the PTA passed them by for vice-president? Or was
there more ... somewhere, hiding out, unseen and unearthed? ' she die?'
',' Dr. Geist said softly. ' soon now.' Beryl gave her the advance copy
of Playboy on the set at the end of the day just as soon as they had
wrapped and Daina brought it straight home to show Rubens. Right in the
centre of the ' Attractions' section on films was the following
paragraph: ' THE WINNER IS ... Athough some of you might think it's a
bit early to get into the Academy Award prediction game, I've heard some
pretty remarkable things about Daina Whitney's title role in the
forthcoming Heather Duell. It's no secret that most of us have been
waiting for another female part to compete with the likes of those
played by Sally Field in Norma Rae and Jane Fonda in Klute and Coming
Home. From all reports - and I'm inclined to believe these informed
sources - the Heather Duell role could well put Whitney in contention
for the Best 410 s award. Flick is about the trial by fire of the wife
of a thy industrialist caught in a house held by terrorists. itney, as
you're no doubt aware, came to international inence via Jeffrey Lesser's
firework film of the future, ina Red. If you haven't seen her in that,
you don't know t you're missing! ,@She read this piece out loud to
Rubens with no little relish. k,' she said, turning the magazine back
against her body.
ey've even got a still from the film. How'd you manage called Buzz
Beillmann,' he said and laughed. ' told she was a genius.' He came
towards her. ', the phone n't stopped ringing all day at the office and
I know it's not na stop here. How'd you like to go out to the boat for a
e?' "The sky was plum and indigo by the time they climbed on k.
Lights along the sweeping curve of Malibu shone in a ttering chorus line
within the somnolent shallows. Daina ught of Yasmin and their afternoon
here and shivered a e. The inside of her mouth seemed heavy and swollen
with other woman's musky taste. The thought that had been imming the
dark waters of her mind ever since she had wed Yasmin to seduce her
began to surface. If only she Id connect it up. She thought of Chris,
poor unhappy ris. He had called her from, where was it? Denver? Dallas?
could not recall now. It doesn't really matter, she thought. e kids are
the same wherever they go - the halls, the lights, massive equipment.
And the applause, the ringing applause ilding and building as the fans
streamed down the already d aisles with their hands upraised,
forefingers pointing the blackness of the night: Number One, Number One,
mber One. @My God, but Chris had sounded terrible when he had called. if
he had been strung out. He didn't appreciate those elling nights as
Nigel did. He fed off his work in the studio off his fans. There was
some odd, twisted ... all right, yes, piric relationship between those
musicians and their fans. had read an interview once, she couldn't
remember where some smart guy, some rock musician said, Okay, let's call
411 a spade a spade. The relationship's vampiric. At the time, she had
thought that so much copy. Those guys were famous for putting on
interviewers who took the whole thing so seriously. Daina had read the
cover story in Rolling Stone that had come from the interview of the
band in San Francisco. They had run, as a heavily bordered inset, the
photo taken with her and Nile and the group and the accompanying
paragraphs were mainly about her. Deadlines had caused the obit on Nile
to appear in the following issue. Anyway, Chris had come off as very
restrained while Nigel talked and talked. How could he stand it? The
entire responsibility for the band's creative output was squarely on
Chris' shoulders though, publicly at least, he and Nigel still
collaborated on every song. Daina suspected that even for Chris there
was a breaking point. Friendship could only take you so far. Well,
they'd be back in LA in a couple of weeks. She resolved to talk to Chris
again then, face to face. She felt arms slip around her, Rubens' heat
behind her. His budding hardness insinuated itself between the lobes of
her buttocks. His hands came up to cup her breasts. She felt a warmth
seep through her body that was only partially sexual, for it encompassed
a great deal more. ' are you thinkffig?' ' how happy I am.' It wasn't a
lie, she told herself but then again it wasn't the exact truth either.
She had been thinking of Meyer, of what he had said to her - the pact
they had made. She wanted now very much to protect Rubens, though she
could not imagine from what. The old man worries a lot, she thought.
I could see it in his eyes. Well, who could blame him? He's been through
so much. And survived. That's the important part. Isn't that what Marion
had told her so long ago about Hollywood? That the really important
thing was to survive here. Because so many people came out here and
didn't. That's all it is, Daina thought now, as she watched the faraway
lights of Santa Monica, haloed through the haze, as if they bobbed on
the brink of heaven, he's getting old and he worries. Rubens is fine. I
know it. I can feel it. There's no problem. 412 ou remember what I said
back at the house about Beryl?, ispered in her ear, holding her tight.
hat's she's a genius?' She loved the feel of his hands on breasts. It
made her want to close her eyes and drift off, and secure. ou're a
genius, too,' he said. ''ve got to give Dory some it.' He laughed.
"He's a good judge of character.' y character.' Yours, ycs.' He turned
her around in his arms so that they each other. His checks were lit
eerily by the red and n of the boat's running lights, one side darker
than the . It made him seem like two different people. ', I've r loved
anyone the way I love you.' er eyes seemed to e@pand in the
semi-darkness and she a tiny sound in the back of her throat halfway
between an and a sigh. Her fingers caressed his neck, the tops of ars,
firmly pul I ing his head down to hers. heir lips met with such
exquisite suddenness that she felt lvanic shock race through her body
almost as if she had d on a live wire. How you worked Buzz over,' he
said thickly, pulling his away from hers. ''d never seen him react like
that, cially with a woman. He's got no respect for anyone.' ou know,"
she said softly, watching her own reflection bing in his eyes, ' really
enjoyed it. He was acting like h a pig. We spend all our lives in the
power of men like ''re not making something politi@al of it, are you?'
."Political? No. There's nothing political about what pened between Buzz
and me. It was sexual.' ' this,' he said, circling the centre of his
palm around nipple. ' this,' she said, kissing his neck with her open
lips and ing tongue..'Like this,' he said, picking up the hem of her
dress to slide fingers along the long sleek length of her thigh. 0
.'Like this,' she said, cupping her hand over his balls and ssing - ntly
against the intense heat until she felt the 0 Me wering tremors racing
through his thighs. Z@ 413 'Let's go below,' he said thickly, ' put on
our suits., ' for?' she said, laughing. ''s around to see us?' He
slapped her backside playfully. ' do as you5 re told for once, okay?'
She kissed the tip of her forefinger, pressed it against his I lips set
in a mock-severe expression. They went down the companionway. Her suit,
a plum-coloured maillot, lay waiting for her, folded on one of the
berths. By its side was a thick towel. She picked up the suit and
something long and glittery fell out, slinking to the deck. ' Godv she
breathed, going down on her knees. She scooped it up, held it in front
of her. It ran across the ends of her fingers like a river of light. It
was a diamond bracelet. She turned her head up. ' God, Rubens.' He knelt
down beside her. It was a time when, normally, he would have made jokes.
That kind of deep sentiment was difficult for him to express or even
face. But this time, he was serious. Gently, he lifted the bracelet off
her hands. ' found it in Harry Winston's,' he said. ' was one of those
things. I saw it and knew it was for you.' He looked into her violet
eyes. ' wrist?' ' left one,' she said and closed her eyes, kissing him.
She trembled a little when she felt the weight of the bracelet
encircling her. The click of the clasp as he pushed it home seemed as
loud to her as a crack of thunder on an otherwise still night. Her arms
came around him and she licked his face.
"Let's go into the water,' she whispered. But her thighs had turned to
liquid and he had to scoop her up, as easily as she had scooped the
bracelet off the deck, carrying her topside. On deck, he stripped off
his clothes and then setting her atop the sheer-strake, began to undress
her slowly and care- fully, taking his time, folding each garment as he
stripped it off her flesh. She shone dark and full in the inconstant
illumination of the boat's running lights and those burning feebly along
the shoreline. There was a mist rising from the sea so that it appeared
to Daina as if it were some primeval medium into which she dropped.
Together, they bobbed in the soft wavelets, washed and chilled, their
skin raised in goosebumps. But soon, they 414 tized and they felt cold
only on their faces, which were -,,the water. y treaded water lightly,
looking only at each other. out of the corner of her eye, Daina could
see, now and the bright dazzle as a turn of her wrist shot reflected
against the dark skin of the sea, the white side of the They played with
each other for the longest time, touchd stroking and kissing, and when
he entered her he did ost effortlessly so that only his heat told her it
was at im and not another tendril of the Pacific lapping at her e
coolness on the outside, the growing heat on the inside a delicious
contrast of sensations - as if she was being ated and comforted at the
same time. crushed her breasts to his lips with a fierce intensity so
his sucking pulled at nerve strings all the way down to toes and she
gripped his buttocks, pushing him up inside til there was nowhere left
to go. wanted desperately for this to last, for it never to end e
sensations were overrunning her and she was losing all I to the point
where she held on to him as if he were the itself, biting'his shoulder
and feeling - ohhh! - that it not enough to cry out incoherently as she
approached an sm that went beyond all others, that there were words she
ed to tell him, about Meyer, about Aurelio Ocasio and, this too, about
Baba. She wished now in her ecstasy to er up to him those dark comers of
herself she held most d, those secrets that she had buried'in the centre
of her t for all these years and would consider telling no human but
that she now wanted to share with him. Him! she did no such thing,
merely cried out loud and long, ering herself up totally to the pleasure
sweeping through His lips brushed her arms, along her collarbones, that
soft ntation at the base of her throat and, at last, his cheek lay her
throat as she transmitted the beat of her pulse to him endless message.
hat was so nice,' he whispered and had to stop to get the er out of his
mouth. ' you wearing nothing but onds like you were a part of the sky
banded with stars.' 415 The poetry of his words startled her - if only
Beillmann or Michael Crawford could see him now; would they even
recognize him as the same man? She thought not - and she stroked the
back of his head wishing she had nails to scratch him lightly. But they
were so short and so perfectly rounded they were no good for that at
all. just pulling triggers and gripping the rough hilt of a knife. She
thought of the Playboy piece and Heather Duell's trial by fire. My trial
by fire. Yes, mine. And perhaps, too, an Academy Award. Reluctantly,
they came out of the water, shivering, racing for their towels, and
dried each other off. They drew on jeans and cotton T-shirts they always
kept stowed in the boat and, on a whim, Rubens pulled up anchor. He
fired the engine and, with his arm around her waist, took them out to
sea far enough for the fog to devour them completely. After a time, he
