Sirens, page 19
Smiler, he says
"Get fucked" fthis dude an' the man goes away. But he can't for long, '
he's gotta itch t'move north t'New York an' he sees how Smiler's his
ticket in, grease tmeat. Now he's insistent an' ol' Smiler, he won't be
budged, no how. ' this PR fella's gettin' bugged an! he sends a sol'jer
over tsmiler's t'bring him in fo' a talk.
On'y problem is, Smiler's out on a buy that night an' the stupid spic
blows away Smiler's ol' lady by mistake. ' it takes a while fo' things
t'settle in with Smiler but once they do, he rolls. He goes out afta the
dude. Not too bright. But like I says ...' He shrugged. ' "Tell you
what," this dude says to Smiler. "One broad's jus' like another. Yo take
whichever one yo sees here you like, kay?" Smiler says, "I'm gonna pull
yo, "Yo spic muthafucka,' outa their sockets fo' yo."
But, of course, ol' Smiler, he move fo' the two spics holdin' him, an'
this dude, he says, o know the problem with yo bastards is yo, gots no
sensa our. None a'tall. So's I tells yo, whut I'm gonna do. I'm do yo a
big favour an' fix that." He gets up an' flicks t a gravity knife an' he
goes t'work on the right side o' fler's face, cutting into the nerves.
"Now," this fucker says, in' back an' wipire the blood off his blade on
Smiler's jacket, "yo'll smile alla time an! nobody - not even me - able
E' accuse yo of havin' no sensa humour." Huh!' went back to his food.
aina stared at him. ''s the point?' .@'Of the story?' Baba wiped his
greasy mouth. ' point mama, that Smiler's now workin' for that spic
dude. Uh 1h. Took one of his broads, too. Been with her now ... uhm
three, four years! :'I don't believe any of this.' ,'Hey, mama, it's all
true. Emmis, like they say downtown. ' the way it all works here. That
dude, he got ol' Smiler's ntion. Eventually. Huhp He laughed again,
launched into last of the white meat. ', I think-it'g disgusting! He
gave her a quick look over the torn piece of crackling and he did not
have to open his mouth, did not have to to her, ' came out here on yo'
own, mama. No one ght yo,' because that look said it all and she, too,
went to the remnants of the meal. Around them, the atmosphere became
more raucous as they deeper into the night. Bottles of corn mash whiskey
eared from somewhere, one placed in the centre of every le along with
enough glasses. These looked to Daina like glasses she had used at home
while brushing her teeth. Baba reached out, poured himself four fingers
of the liquor . There seemed to be no ice or water with which to dilute
and when she asked him about this, he said, ' doan nna do that, mama.
Sacrilege! She waited until he had downed his before saying, ''t gomg to
pour me some?' 168 169 He eyed her a moment before putting down his
glass. ' got some streak inside yo, mama, yo know that?' But he poured
her some just the same, watched her, smiling, as she choked it down. Her
throat felt like it was on fire and she swore she could feel the path
the liquor took all the way down to her intestines as clearly as if it
were a fluorescent-lighted flight path. She brushed the water out of her
eyes, shoved her glass across the table for a refill. Baba shook his
head, laughed and poured for them both. ''ll bet you've got some big
family,' Daina said after a while. '.' He rolled the glass on edge
between the two walls of his enormous hands. ' no fam'ly, leastwise not
now. My daddy, he come up here from Alabama. I hate them muthafuckas
down down there worse'n I do spics but I gotta say one thing fo' ' -
they tell yo they hate yo right off.' He shrugged his huge shoulders. '
here a lotta ' pretend, y'dig? They's yo' friend but it don't mean shit
' behind yo' back, they's sayin' the same thing.
Nigga.' He looked at her. ' tell me, mama, what's worse.' ' of that ...
colour thing,' she said. ' don't know. I don't understand.' ' that sho
as fuck makes two oi us, mama.' He sipped at the bourbon. ' me a pair o'
brothers, once upon a time. Tyler, he was the oldest. They got him one
night outside o' Selma. Three big mothers with shotguns come along,
drunk as skunks one Satidy night, sees Tyler and his girl neckin' an'
they blows them t'kingdom come. Shit.' He poured himself more liquor.
Daina said nothing, just looked at him. ' there was Marvin," Baba
continued. ' was the youngest. Nice nigga. Not like his old man or the
rest of us. Graduated high school; wanted t'go t'college, too, but,
well, we had no bread. So he up an' enlisted in the army ' that was the
ony way, those muthafuckas pay his way.' He stared down into the depths
of the brown liquor as he swirled it around the edge of the glass. '
bastards shipped him off t'Nam. So after all, he was jus' one more
ig'orant nigga who tried t'beat the system an' failed.
Shit. ' wrote tthat nigga every week. Said, "Listen here Marvin, care o'
yo'self. This here's a white man's war, see. ,'yo, get yolself hurt over
that." But Marvin, he writes ..,-,*'Yo gots t'unnerstan', Baba. I'm an
American; yo an . Over here there ain't no niggas an' no white men.
us an' the enemy. Doan make no difference t'them , I am." Poor
muthafucka. Then he writes me his was ambushed on a night patrol. He an'
another all that's left an' they hold their position. Next g, grunts
find ' backyback with a pile of Cong laid them like a wreath. Marvin's a
fuckin' hero, about t'get ilver Star. what happens. The next week, he's
leadin' his own 1, steps on a mine an@ all that's left o' him is his
head @part 0' his chest an' he gets shipped back home in a pine covered
in the American flag an' the Silver Star pinned comer. What the fuckni I
supposed t'do with that, F There were glittery points standing out in
the comers a's eyes. He pushed the glass away from him.
"Shouldn't . ' this stuff, see what comes of it. Shit 1' ina reached out
across the table, took his hands in hers, how the black swallowed up the
white, felt his warmth, she rubbed the skin of his wrists. e cleared his
throat, disentangled himself, took his hands the table. ' o' this, mama.
Ain't no good a'tall.' ell, well, well, Baba. This is quite a surprise!
' both turned to look up at the man standing in the aisle between the
tables. Had they not been so engrossed ', they would most certainly have
spotted him moment he came through the door.
For one thing, he was ssed all in spotless grey, even down to his
elegant suede . He wore a wide silk cravat instead of a tie. But what
wore was hardly the man's most remarkable feature. He was I and slender,
with a kind of animal grace when he moved even the tiniest way. His
hands were long-palmed with bby, powerful-looking fingers. The backs of
the hands were vily freckled, covered in golden hair. He had a narrow ce
with rather long, pinned-back ears and curling reddish ir cut short. His
face, too, was freckled and his wide-set, vy-lidded eyes were so pale a
blue that, in bright light, they 170 171 were colourless. His
mandiblelike mouth and sharp, prominent chin gave him a ferocious
countenance. Baba smiled slowly, lifted an arm. ', meet Aurelio Ocasio.
Ally, sit down why doncha?' ''t mind if I do. Young lady -'He took
Daina's hand in his and she felt the faint coolness of the fingers,
smelled his cologne. Ocasio lifted her hand, thought better of kissing
it, let it go. He sat down opposite Baba and next to Daina. As he did
so, he signalled a couple of dark-haired Puerto Ricans who sat at a
cramped table for two up against one wall near the front door. ' robbing
the cradle these days, Baba,' he said with a harsh laugh. He poured
himself some bourbon, made a face, ', how can you drink this shit. Don't
they have rum in this place?' ' too far west fo' that, Ally,' Baba said
pointedly. ' hah. Well we're gettin around these days, more'n'more.
Business is boomin'.' ' I see.' Ocasio gave a glance towards Daina and
she saw how long his eyes were, like the narrow slits of a fox. ',
amigo, you're not thinkin' of branchin' out by any chance.' ' mean
Daina?' Baba laughed, took a gulp of bourbon.
"Don't get yo' bowels wet, Ally. She jus' a frien' o' the fam'ly.' .'You
ain't got no family, amigo.' ' ha, well I do now. Whatchew think o'
that?' Ocasio took a very deliberate sip of his drink, watched the
liquid run down the side of the glass. ' think that's just fine, long as
you keep it that way. Wouldn't want anyone steppin' on my toes ... ah,
specially you, amigo, you got such big feet, eh?' But he did not smile
and nothing about him connoted hurnour in even the driest sense.
"Since when've I ever been innerested in that kinda action? Doan know
nuthin ' it anyways.' ' passes, amigo. We all get the itch, you know.
Ambition is the downfall of us all.' Baba put his glass down on to the
table directly in front of him. ' aimin! at, Ally?' 172 well. Smiler
tells me you're about to raise your rates shipment ..., ' right.
Inflation, m'man. Even outlaws gotta eat.' ation, uh. You're sure that's
it?' eyed him. dn't be you're anglin' for some kinda financin' so's you
nd, could it?' laughed. ' yo pickin' up this ratshit, Ally? My times
they's changed. Yo once had the best sources on Whassamatter, they give
up on yo in these evil days, io shrugged, as a welterweight might throw
off a deft tion before he began to counterpunch. ' know sources as well
as I do, amigo. Los cochinillos!
They are t honour but they have their good days as well as bad.' t rates
is rates, m'man,' Baba said, draining his glass, I gots t'keep up with
the times.' io placed his glass down beside Baba's. '@t we all,' aid as
he got up. ' we had this little visit. Adios.' He Iled his men and one
opened the front door for him. er of them had eaten or drunk anything
since they came no one had disturbed their silent conversation.
aba wiped at his mouth as the door closed, turned away to at Daina. ''
he talks ' honour; calls his men pigs. the fuckin' pig, that spic." "You
don't like Puerto Ricans much, do you?' ', no, mama. I sure as hell
don't. They givin' this city --bad name. Stink up the placep He smiled.
' thing gh yo c'n say ' ': they's lower down than us niggas.' en he
threw his head back and laughed loud enough to turn ds in that hubbub. t
the Warehouse she sat by the window staring out at the epening night,
the bobbing lights like blobs of cast-off paint ttered across a canvas,
sipping a chill Bacardi and thinking, r once, of nothing at all. She
listened to the muted buzz of ersation from the main dining room at her
back, the soft k of the ice against her teeth when she drank and watched
forty-foot schooner, strung with coloured lights, heading out 173 from
its berth, the top edge of its long cabin and sleek hull glowing
whitely, two slashes in the darkness, an equals sign equalling nothing.
' if I sit down?' She looked up, thought, Oh, Christ no. George Altavos
stood two paces from the table. Apparent! y he had come from the packed
bar because he had a drink in one hand. ' you come in a little while
ago.' His voice was only slightly slurred but he might have been
drinking here for hours. ' thought at first I'd just pretend you weren't
here.' He brayed a laugh. ' funny, that. You and me at the same watering
hole, not talking to each other.' ' Archerd would love to get hold of
that item, I'll bet! She tried a smile, missed. '. And Rubens would run
me right off the lot! He tried to hide the bitterness in those words.
She looked up at him. ' don't you clarify that statement2 He opened up
his mouth to say something, jerked his drink to his lips instead. When
he took the glass away, he said, ' don't think you fucked your way into
this picture, if that's what's on your mind! ''s on my mind,' Daina said
clearly, ' how you treated me on the set the other day! He set his empty
glass down on her table. ' didn't get a helluva lotta work done today!
He ran his fingertip around the rim of his glass until it gave off a
little squeal.
"It was very vibey. You know, weird. Everyone was freaked! His dark eyes
locked on hers. It was a form of apology, no matter how oblique. '
down,' she said. In or out of makeup, George was a remarkably handsome
man. Not in the careful, unvarying modem Hollywood way; he had a
rough-hewn quality that harked back to the old days of the thirties and
forties when the stars seemed bigger and less even-featured. His oval,
open face was dominated by dark hooded eyes that made him appear sleepy
all the time. He left his toupee behind when he wasn't filming. Aa him
order drinks for them both before she said, to hear about you and
Yasmin.' well, it's not much of anything. just a passing fancy.' drinks
came and he watched her carefully for some '7@1'm gay,'he said. put down
her Bacardi. ' didn't know.' one really does. Except Yasmin.' He fiddled
with the stiffer, making it click against the side of the glass.
I saw her and thought, Hell, maybe she's the girl to me.' He shrugged.
"She wasn't. I guess you can't human nature.' He put his finger around
the stirrer, a long swallow of his whiskey, looked down into it. ' to
drink these with soda but I gave it up after a while.' d came up
abruptly. ' know why? It took me too to get drunk.' He took another long
sip. ''s quicker now. h quicker.' Daina shrugged. ' you're not happy..
George waggled a finger at her. ', no. You mistake anger unhappiness. I
come from a large family. I've got four ers and three sisters. They're
all married now ... happily, ppily, what's the difference? The point is
that whatever've done, in marriage and in divorce, they've trod the safe
narrow. Every Christmas when I go back, when we all get er in that big
house in Animas, New Mexico, I feel like gonna die.' He finished his
drink, waved at the waiter for a 1. ' you know what? I want to go back
home, I'm still ing to please my parents.
They don't know I'm gay; it Id kill them. My father, so macho-still at
seventy. I walk d Animas so full of guilt. Yet I go back, again and
again, if I'm searching for something.' ' you ever take Yasmin with
you?' He gave her a kind of grimace. ' was going to go this He waved
away his words as the waiter set down a full took his empty one. He
started on it right away. ' esn't matter.' But Daina thought it did.
"George, if it's right, iellhappen someone else.' His smile was bleak.
"Ali, no. There was no one else but her. don't think there will be
another woman.' He shrugged. 174 175 'What the hell. I am what I am,
right? And relationships are so much easier when you're gay. just sex
with no strings. No hysterical women calling you in the middle of the
night, wondering just where the relationship is going. You're always
free to get on with your life; you don't have to explain all the brief
encounters to anyone.' ', it sounds to me as if you're using
homosexuality as an easy way out.' ''s wrong with taking the easy way
once in a while? I've had it up to here with problems.' He pointed a
finger at her. ' know how I got into acting? I thought if I could learn
to change my personality, I'd begin to ... like gir s. Oh, yes!
Stupid, isn't it?' His hand fluttered in the air again. ', no, I was
just confusing ego and personality. All that dissolution of personality,
the roles in front of the camera, all that did was to accelerate the
process ... that long slide into nothingness.' He rattled the ice cubes
against his glass as if he were a disgruntled simian shaking the bars of
its cage. ''ll tell you what acting did for me. It made me want more.
It got so that I wasn't content any more in letting myself go in front
of the camera-I needed to do that in real life, too. ' I began to cruise
because I found out that, like acting, it's where the ball game begins
and ends for me. Because I see them as precisely the same thing.
It's like living on the high wire. You know that it's just a matter of
time till you make a mistake and go off. Anyone would think that's a
frightening thought. But no. It's the thought that drives you on, why
you go out again and again to confront ... that thing, whatever it is,
full of an inexorable magnetism. ' you think, Will it be tonight? as you
pick up the blond muscle boy on the beach at Santa Monica, surfing his
little heart out. Okay, so he ties you up, goes in for a little harmless
