Don't Close Your Eyes (Don't Look Series Book 2), page 9
When Kate turns from looking at both boys, she leans in. “I’m doing okay, I guess, but Nate is… Well. You understand.”
I do. I understand him probably more than anyone else on this planet. Except Taryn. Because the walls he has up around himself? The defensive attitude? It reminds me so much of Taryn during the time when she wasn’t speaking to me. After our parents were murdered.
“Um, can I ask… Have you gotten any weird messages? Like, on social media?”
Kate’s eyes roll. “Ugh, yes. Some people are so desperate for attention they think I’ll bond with them over… what happened to our parents.”
“Right, but… no threats, or anything?”
Kate’s brows scrunch. “Threats? No, why would anyone threaten me? I haven’t done anything.”
It’s clear by her tone that she doesn’t mean it as a slight, but it stings, nonetheless. “No, of course.” My eyes cut to Noah. He’s listening, head cocked, as Nate grumbles something I can’t make out. “It’s just, I’ve gotten some pretty creepy messages, so be careful, okay?”
She nods. “Sure, of course. You too.”
My eyes pin the back of Nate’s shirt, just for a second, before I focus on Kate. I speak loud enough that Nate can hear every word. “I’ve been going to a therapist once a week to talk about things. It’s helped a lot. If you aren’t seeing anyone, think about it. Okay?”
She nods gratefully. “We will.”
Noah doesn’t say anything else until we’re both in the car, seat belts on. “I got Nate talking about cars. Neither his nor Kate’s matches the one we’re looking for. You still want to go to their house while they’re out?”
I don’t, actually. Based on our conversation in the park just now, I know I was wrong in thinking Kate and Nate could have anything to do with the crap that’s been going on in my life. “Not really, but we should anyway. Look, they’re turning, and we can’t lose them.”
Noah follows the twins at a distance until their vehicle pulls into what must be their high school parking lot. When we’re sure they’ve gone inside, I pull up the address I found on the internet. The Anderson place, which is sitting empty and untouched since the police finished combing through it for evidence. Hopefully their parents’ cars are still there.
A piece of caution tape clings to the door frame, tattered from months of exposure.
Telling Noah to keep the car running, I go around to the side of the abandoned house, hoping there’s a window into the garage. Bingo.
Lifting onto my toes, I peer inside. And strike out.
The garage is empty.
Even so, I take Nate and Kate off my suspect list. From what I saw this morning, neither of them blames me. Nate was withdrawn, but I can’t blame him for that after everything he’s likely experienced in recent months.
I’m quiet all the way back to Hacienda. Despite my belief that they’re innocent, there’s still a twinge of unease in my gut. My conversation with the twins plays over and over in my head. Every second is dissected and analyzed in my brain, in the hopes that I’ll find some clue that points to them as suspects, or innocents. I’d love to believe they’re completely guiltless, but I can’t. I thought Mr. Baugh was a good man and teacher, and look how that turned out.
As if sensing I need the time to think, Noah doesn’t say much. Instead, he sings quietly along with the radio, which at some point switched from J-pop to Disney classics. Listening to Noah sing every word of the Princess and the Frog soundtrack makes my heart squeeze in my chest.
“Sorry,” he says when he catches me looking at him under lowered lashes. “It’s Anza’s favorite movie, so I’ve seen it about a hundred times.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s cute. I mean you’re cute. I mean… I’m going to go back to not talking now.”
He laughs. “Thanks. You’re cute too. Hey, maybe we should—” The car goes over a rough patch in the road and I jolt. Noah pulls the car over along the same stretch of road where we shared our kiss. My cheeks heat. Maybe he wants a repeat. I do, too.
When I look, he’s watching. Adjusting his glasses, he reaches for me. “Audrey.”
“Yeah?” That sounded way more excited than I was trying for.
“Can you open the glove box?”
“I—What?” That’s when I clock the red and blue lights flashing in the rearview mirror.
An unmistakable tan Bronco parks behind us. The door swings open and Sheriff Lamb gets out.
“Were you speeding?” My question is barely audible.
“No, I don’t think so.”
“You don’t know?”
“I was kind of distracted.” Raking a hand through his hair, Noah lowers the front windows. Wraps both hands around the steering wheel and holds on.
I sit as still as I can and look innocent. Think of baby sheep. Tiny baby piglets. Owlets with large, wide eyes and a blankly sweet expression. We weren’t doing anything wrong. Well, except playing hookie. And having clandestine meetings.
Baby owlets, baby owlets, baby owlets.
I jump when Sheriff Lamb appears on my side of the car. “Mr. Chavez, Miss Thomas.”
“How can we help you, Sheriff?” Noah’s tone is deferential.
Lamb gives Noah a harsh look before zeroing in on me. “Do you have a death wish, Miss Thomas?”
“Um, no?”
A beat passes in which I am certain the sheriff is boring a hole into the center of my forehead. Heat prickles along my skin. “You sure about that? Because I just got off the phone with an irate FBI agent who says you snuck out of school without telling anyone where you were going.”
I open my mouth, but he cuts me off with a raised palm. “You know, for someone who has experienced the evil will of certain individuals first hand, you make some poor decisions. Agents Biel and Chambers have put their lives on the line and you thank them by sneaking around with boys when you’re supposed to be in school. You cause me almost as much trouble as my own daughter. It’s unbelievable.”
Huh. I had no idea Lamb had a daughter. I spend a few seconds trying and failing to think of him as anything other than a surly sheriff and fail spectacularly. He’s still talking, and I realize I’ve missed everything he’s said.
“...That’s what I ought to do, but that would technically be illegal, so I won’t. But if you keep pushing me, I will make it happen. Do you understand?”
Turning to Noah, who is wide-eyed but calm, I nod vigorously. “Yes, sir. I totally understand. Please don’t do that.” Whatever that is.
Sighing, Lamb runs a hand along the brim of his hat. Pulling his radio off his belt, he talks into it. He lets whoever’s on the other end know that he’s found “Twin A” and “her boyfriend.” That’s who we are to him. My cheeks flush in embarrassment.
“Follow my car. I’ll escort you home. No detours, understood?”
Chapter 13
Day 279, Tuesday
“She was pretty mad, huh?” Viv’s mouth is full of pins as she works on the costumes for the play. Gleefully, she rips out seams. When she said she was excited about reconstructing some of the drama department’s costumes for The Importance of Being Earnest, she wasn’t kidding. A clothing rack full of costume pieces of various textures and colors draws my attention. I can’t make heads or tails of the remnants.
Just like I can’t make sense of anything else that’s going on in my life right now.
“Pass me that silver thread, will you?” Viv’s hand is outstretched and wiggling in my face as she points at a spool that must have attempted an escape, because it’s feet away from where the rest sit in a neat row on the black-painted floor.
Swiping it, I hand it over. After I ditched school to do something admittedly stupid, Karen and Justin forced me to sign up to help with the stage crew for the play. They’re probably hoping that Taryn will help keep an eye on me during practice. As if. They clearly have never paid attention during play rehearsals, because Taryn spends all of her time either practicing with the other actors, or arguing with Esau about everything. If I didn’t know for sure that they both think of the arguing as some sort of weird flirting, I’d have to conclude that they still hate each other. The stiff, defeated way Taryn holds herself when she came back from their most recent date lends weight to my assumption.
Marisa comes sock-skating across the wood floor and almost loses her footing on the slick boards. “You guys have to see this. Martino has mono and has to drop out of the play, so Esau is stepping in as Jack. The chemistry between him and Taryn’s Gwendolyn is so delicious, I’m craving chocolate.”
In seconds, everyone backstage crowds around the curtains to take in the black box in the center of the room. The drama club does all of their plays in a four-way stage in a method called “acting in the round”. It makes everything three dimensional and dynamic. And more challenging to set and block. Just ask Esau after an argument with Taryn. Stifling a snicker, I squeeze in next to Fiona and Dariel to watch.
Esau and Taryn are alone onstage. The other actors have stepped out of the round and stand transfixed. Mr. Director’s eyes are locked on Taryn’s as his character entreats her with a question. Would she still love him by another name? Taryn insists she wouldn’t love a man by any other name than Ernest. Esau’s answering expression is heartbreaking. They move through the scene so fluidly together that I wouldn’t be surprised to see a physical tether grounding them, closing their orbit around one another until there’s no space between them.
Sighing, Fiona leans a head on Dariel’s shoulder. He slings an arm around her waist.
Esau/Jack goes down on one knee, eyes pleading with Taryn/Gwendolyn. He proposes, heart in his eyes. Gwendolyn accepts.
Marisa grunts when Viv hushes her squeal with an elbow to the side.
Taryn daintily holds Esau’s hand as he rises, and everyone erupts in cheers. Actors and crew spill onto the stage, laughing and teasing. Marisa gushes about how amazing the play is going to be. “OMG Esau. Too bad for Martino, but you can’t recast his part. You have to do it. That was freaking amazing.”
Esau mumbles a thank you.
“No seriously, that was really good. Martino’s fine, but you two are fire.” Fiona points between the two of them. Dariel makes an exploding noise.
Smiling, I turn to Taryn, but she’s—Where did she go? Pushing through the crowd, I wander backstage looking for my twin. Unusual for her to bow out when there is adulation to be had. A knot thickens in my stomach.
A soft sound makes me pause. Is that a sob? Jogging down the hall, I step into the costume closet. It’s more a small room crammed full of clothing racks. It is seriously dark without the overhead light on.
Fabric shifts. Another sob comes.
“Taryn?”
Clothes rustle at the back of the room, so I push my way through the odd assortment of period clothing. Powder blue polyester suit. Renaissance corset and skirt. Orange prison jumpsuit.
Taryn is pressed against the back wall, face in her hands. One hand gives way when I take it in my own. Throwing her arms around me, my sister sobs quietly into my shoulder. “I don’t think we’re going to make it, Audrey. When I was doing that scene, it was so beautiful. We go together so well. But he’s leaving in the fall. He’ll be three hundred and fifty freaking miles away, and I can tell he has big plans for his future, but it feels like I’m not in them. I can’t help but wonder if he’ll be too busy to spend time with me. We’ll start fighting—”
“—You argue all the time.”
“—And it won’t be fun anymore.”
“—Fun arguing is overrated.”
“—And then we’ll both be miserable, and he’ll break up with me. He won’t want to, but he won’t really have a choice. I don’t know if I can live through that. I love him so much, Audrey. Maybe I should just do it now. Get it over with? You know?”
My head is spinning. Taryn used the L word. She loves Esau. I mean, I knew they were pretty hooked on each other, but love? My brain can’t comprehend that concept, so I move on.
“You want to preemptively break up with Esau so it sucks now instead of later? Don’t you think that would be a bad idea? Seeing as how you have to work with him on the play you pushed for and adore, that goes for the next four months?”
Wiping her face and then rubbing her palms on her jeans, she straightens. Sniffs one more time. “You’re right. That would be stupid. I’ll wait until the play is over, and then I’ll do it.”
“You don’t have to decide right now, T. It’s February. You have so much time.”
The dead-eyed stare she lays on me shuts me up. She whispers in my ear. “I’m so far gone, I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive this any other way. Losing him will kill me, so I’d rather it be self-inflicted. Better to stab my own heart than to wait for him to do it.”
Something inside me pinches as Taryn transforms from my heartbroken sister back into a serene, confident actress. She shoves through the costume racks and pauses in the door. Looks over her shoulder. “You coming?”
A deep sigh washes over me as I follow. I’ve seen enough stab wounds and shattered hearts to last the rest of my life. However short that ends up being.
Chapter 14
Day 289, Friday
Rain. Rain. Lightning. More rain.
Rows and rows of grapevines shimmer and sag under the sheets of water pouring down on the earth. Despite the warmth inside the vineyard’s cozy bed and breakfast, I pull my puffer coat tighter around me. Good thing we were close to the three-story stone building, or we’d be in the middle of the vineyard in a torrential downpour.
Taryn edges closer to the window pane, eyes upturned. She’s always loved thunderstorms, even though they were a rare occurrence where we used to live. One time, the thunder was so loud it sounded like the roof of our house was going to cave in. Lightning flashed so bright it lit up our room like the middle of the day. Just like now, my sister pressed against the glass, taking it all in with wide eyes and a breathless grin. Weirdo.
I only like thunder a normal amount. From a distance. While inside a safe, secure, and warm house. Preferably with a blanket and a new manga to read.
In the next window, Justin shifts. I don’t need to see his hand to know its wrapped around Karen’s. The way he handles her so reverently is really sweet. His excitement when she agreed to scout out the vineyard as a possible wedding location made me smile. Karen is gruff and no-nonsense, but I caught the smile she hid behind her collar. Underneath her crusty exterior, she’s looking forward to this too. And why not? After having to hide their relationship from Taryn and me for months, planning a wedding must be wonderful.
“It’s perfect, don’t you think? Imagine us standing under the arch, covered in roses—” Justin says.
“Lilies,” Karen interjects.
“—lilies, sorry. And you’re in a full-length—”
“—knee length—”
“Right. Knee-length gown, and all of our friends are there to watch us get married.”
“You mean the director and our fellow agents. Whoever can come between assignments. It won’t be very many people.”
Justin’s grin is catching. “You’ve thought a lot about this.”
His fiancée shrugs casually. “I’m a planner.”
“You are. It’s one of the things I love about you.” He presses a kiss to her temple.
“My parents will come, of course.”
Karen swallows. Her focus moves the storm outside to Justin’s downturned face. “They still don’t like me.”
Justin chuckles. Gives a gentle tug on their entwined hands. “It’s not you. They were hoping I’d meet a nice kindergarten teacher or a veterinarian and retire from the service. Don’t take it personally.”
“I won’t.”
“So, we’re doing this? Getting married in this beautiful vineyard?”
“Well, it doesn’t look great at the moment, but assuming tonight goes well… I suppose. Yes.” We’re staying at the vineyard B & B tonight so Karen can assess their facilities to know if she can recommend the wedding guests stay here or not. Since it’s off-season, Taryn and I each requested our own rooms, and I’m looking forward to staying in a fancy room by myself.
Lightning crackles across the storm-gray sky at the exact moment he points out the window. Justin beams at Karen and at us. “We’re getting married right out there. Hopefully in better weather.”
The vineyard director comes in with hot drinks for us, and she and Justin hammer out the wedding day details. Our guardians are getting married in 123 days.
Thunder booms overhead and the skies dump their heavy load. Purple lightning streaks across the clouds’ fanning underskirt. Karen takes a long pull of her latte.
I focus on the warmth seeping into my palms cupped around my hot cocoa. I’m glad Taryn and I are involved in planning for the wedding. It makes it feel much more real: the idea that we’re a family. I’ve tried not to think about it a lot, since Justin and Karen could request a new assignment at any time and move Taryn and me into a different guardian’s care, but our agents have become like parents over the past few months. They could never replace my mom and dad, but having the agents watching over us makes me feel safer than I have in a while.
Taryn’s phone buzzes and she starts texting, body angled toward the window. I still catch the sly smile she’s trying to hide. So, texting Esau.
It’s been a week since her meltdown in the costume room, and she hasn’t mentioned breaking up again. I’m hoping she’s decided not to do it, because their relationship gives me hope. If she and Esau can start in high school but last into college, maybe I can, too.
It’s so dark outside. I shiver, glad we’re not driving in the storm raging beyond the glass. Leaning back on the couch, I transfer my cocoa to a side table and shoot a text to Noah asking how it’s going.
Baking soda volcanoes with food coloring = not a good idea. Three changes of probably stained clothes later, and I just found another puddle of lava with my sock.
