The media knew I’d been chatting with the Gemini Killer during his killing spree, and during the trial, they blasted that fact on repeat. It was clear that some of them blamed me. I saw the clickbait headlines that proved it. Someone lost in the depths of their grief might buy into that and decide I needed to pay for my part in the bloody mess. My fists curl in my lap.

  It’s only five, but the sun is already descending toward the horizon. Noah makes a left turn, and the glow hits me square in the eyes. I squeeze my eyes shut against it.

  We’re both quiet. K-pop plays in a low hum from the speaker in Noah’s phone where it’s propped in the center cup holder. We were supposed to go home after the library, but neither of us were feeling it. Instead, we’re cruising through town, chatting when we need to and settling into the relaxed ease of a friendly hush.

  Once, Taryn tried to describe to me how driving around with Esau feels. It was like being wrapped in a warm blanket and knowing deep in your bones that you’re where you’re supposed to be. As soon as she said it, I knew what she meant. When I’m with Noah, it feels right. Like we were supposed to meet, somehow. Like he was meant to be part of my healing process, after the trauma my sister and I went through. Are still working through.

  It’s taken me until now to look that feeling full in the face. I spent the first few months in this town fighting the pull I felt toward Noah with everything I had. I was in witness protection. I couldn’t tell him anything. Who I was. Why I moved here. The mounting shadows in my past.

  But once the trial was underway, once I dropped my shield and let him in, there it was. That comforting sense of safety. Of stability. The care he always took with me. I will never forget listening to the tape of the night Noah showed up on the roof to check on Megan, not knowing who he was really talking to. How I wished it had been me on the other side of that window pane instead of my sister. Our conversation might have gone so differently.

  I had to make sure you were okay. I need you to be okay. I couldn’t sleep, thinking about how scared you might be.

  If it had been me listening to those words from Noah, I would have wanted to kiss him. Might have actually done it. If it had been me.

  Biting my lips, I look over at his beautiful profile. His brown skin glows in the aurelian sunset. Long, slim fingers laze over the top of the steering wheel, moving it to his whims. I release a sigh. “I have a crazy idea. If I tell you about it, will you help me?”

  Noah gives me an easy smile that makes my stomach dip. “You know I will. You don’t even have to ask.”

  Something inside me slots into place. I welcome the warm wave that sloshes over me. “Pull over. Please?”

  “That’s such a big favor. I don’t know if I can do it.” He glides the car onto the shoulder of the two-lane road. Almond orchards line the street as far as the eye can see. There’s no one else on this stretch of pavement. It’s peaceful. Perfect.

  Well, as long as I ignore Justin parking his car behind Noah’s and lifting his cell to his ear. He’s been pretty flexible about us cruising town, so I’m pretty sure he’ll stay put as long as we aren’t in any danger.

  Noah kills the engine and sits back, hands dropping to rest in his lap. Head lounging against the rest, he rolls his gaze over at me. Fading light hits one side of his face, leaving the other shaded in navy and indigo. “Why’d you want to stop? Did you think of something?”

  “No. I want to do something, and I don’t want to wait anymore.”

  The inner corners of his brows flick upward in question. He pushes ebony curls off his forehead with a languorous sweep.

  Boldness overtakes me. Click goes my seatbelt as I free myself from it. Inhale deeply. Leaning over the center console, I click his open too. My heart jounces wildly in my chest. I slip into his space; inches separate us.

  Noah swallows. His gaze dips from my eyes to my mouth. Lingers. There it is.

  “Noah?” My breath leaves in a rush.

  He nods. It’s the tiniest gesture, but it’s enough. I close the gap and press my mouth against his. My heart explodes into a thousand glittering crystals.

  When we part, Noah sighs against my mouth. One hand caresses my hair, pushing it back from my face. “Wow.”

  “Yeah?”

  He nods, eyes aglow behind his specs. His fingers linger, feather-light on the side of my face. “I have wanted to do that for months. You have no idea how often I’ve dreamed of kissing you, Audrey.”

  A smile breaks across my face. “You dreamed about me?”

  “You’re the star of all my daydreams.”

  If I could see myself in the mirror right now I’d probably look like that smiling emoji with giant red heart eyes. This is turning out profoundly better than I could have imagined.

  Noah’s chuckle cranks up the wattage zipping around my chest. Eyes catching mine, he leans in. “Can I kiss you again?”

  His lips are gentle and soft and OMG now I know why Taryn and Esau spend half an hour saying goodnight on the front porch when he brings her home from a date. Kissing is FUN. I could do this for hours.

  “Wow. Okay.” Noah breaks away, wrapping his hands around the steering wheel. “Next time you need a favor, I’ll definitely help if it’s going to end like that. Not that I wouldn’t help you anyway! But, you know—That was great.”

  “Wait.” My hand stops his from turning the key to resurrect the car’s engine. “That was amazing, but it wasn’t the favor I mentioned earlier. It’s kind of complicated.”

  “Complicated, huh? Lay it on me.”

  I do, hoping that he’ll be as enthusiastic about my plan as he was about the kiss. Doubtful, considering that it’s probably stupid. Dangerous. But I’m doing it anyway, and hoping Noah will come with me.

  Chapter 12

  Day 278, Monday

  Searing pain shoots through my legs from squatting for so long. My core muscles wind tight, holding my body in its place. Perched on a closed toilet seat. Never thought I’d be hiding in a bathroom to cut first period, but desperate times.

  The bathroom reeks. Seriously, it smells like someone came in here after eating a three-day-old fish sandwich. The entire gray tile-lined room is filled with the stink. Mingled together with the heavy scent of lemony chemicals, it’s making me wish my nose was defective.

  Words are scrawled across the stall walls in thick black marker. Naughty doodles and phone numbers mixed in a visual mush. Rocky loves Emily. Karen is a bench. Anybody got any weed?

  My legs wobble, and my arms shoot out to brace against the walls to keep me from falling onto the slick, grimy floor. Inhaling through my mouth, I check my phone. It’s been fifteen minutes. That’s gotta be long enough.

  The stall door emits a wince-inducing shrill as I swing it open. At the far end of the room, the hall door mirrors it. I freeze.

  This cannot be happening.

  Taryn halts in the doorway. Her attention sweeps over me through narrowed eyes. My own widen. Crap, I’m caught.

  A ripple of awareness flits over Taryn’s expression as she studies me. I have no idea how, but she knows about my plan. Noah wouldn’t have told her, so how could she have found out? Maybe, after seventeen years, the twin telepathy that everyone kept teasing about is finally manifesting? That might be pretty cool, for a while. Useful for when we want to communicate without Karen or Justin hearing. But seriously? In the long term, having Taryn in my head all the time would be too much. “I know what you’re going to say, so don’t bother.”

  Tossing an odd look my way, she runs water over her hands. They’re covered in bright orange ink. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m just here to wash up.”

  “. . . Your pen exploded.”

  “All over my desk. Yeah. Got me out of a snooze-fest on the Battle of Waterloo, though, so that’s something.”

  I huff. Jab my thumb over my shoulder. “I should probably go….”

  Taryn scrubs at her skin with a palm-full of hot pink foamy soap, hissing when she sees her hands are still the same shade as a navel orange. Going for round two, she fills both hands with pink bubbles. “Don’t let me keep you. Tell Noah I said hi.”

  “I’m not meeting… I mean, I won’t see him until lunch.”

  “Then why is he waiting for you out in the hallway?”

  Busted. My face scrunches up as I back away from my sister. “I can explain. It’s not dangerous, or anything.”

  Taryn eyes me in the mirror. “Noah’s going with you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Don’t go far.”

  “You’re not going to warn me off?” I ask over my shoulder.

  One of Taryn’s perfectly shaped eyebrows wings upward.

  “Right. Look who I’m talking to. Miss plays hookie and almost gets immolated in a corn field.” Saying that out loud makes it sound so much worse. I bite my lip, knowing that the plan I’ve dragged Noah into is not smart. It’s actually kind of stupid, but I have to do it, and I figure it’ll be safer if I have Noah with me.

  Wiping her hands, Taryn spins around to meet my eyes. “Have fun with your friend. I won’t say anything. But Audrey, you know Karen will flip when the school calls to let her know you weren’t in class.”

  It had occurred to me that our guardian will find out pretty quickly. Which is why I need to go. Now. Before she shows up at the school looking for me. I’m hoping the silver bracelet I left in my locker will give me some lead time.

  “You’re the best. Here’s one for the road.” I give my sister a quick peck on the cheek. My hand is on the knob when she speaks.

  “That better not have been a goodbye kiss,” Taryn shoots after me.

  When I messaged the Anderson twins on social media last week and asked them if they’d be willing to meet, only Kate agreed. Now that Noah and I are here in a park, three hours from home, I’m disappointed I never heard back from Nate..

  Noah, helpful soul that he is, went along with it when I came up with the idea to contact each of the Gemini Killer’s survivors. Ask them if they’d agree to talk to us. See if they’ve received any creepy messages. Gauge their emotional response to everything that’s been going on. To seeing me. Most of them have either declined or ignored my message.

  After hours in the car to think about it, I’ve decided that maybe bringing Noah along for the ride wasn’t the smartest idea. It was my fault the Gemini Killer threatened his family in the first place. And now I’m dragging him off to have a chat with some of the murderer’s other surviving victims. People who might be after me in a twisted bid for revenge.

  When I spent time with the Andersons at twin camp that summer, we had an absolute blast. While Taryn was off with some of the older girls doing makeovers and putting on elaborate plays in the camp’s amphitheater, I was learning to play soccer with Kate and her brother Nate. It was glorious—that feeling of invincibility as I ran down the soccer field.

  Opening my phone, I check my inbox yet again. Nate still hasn’t responded to my message. Definitely read it, though. His silence was a surprise. In the first couple of months after that summer, he’d been the one I kept chatting with. When I messaged the other survivors, I assumed it would be obvious if they were angry, or if their grief was presenting in a different way.

  On the off chance this goes sideways, how long will it take Karen and Justin to trace my cell phone and hightail it up here to yell at me? My mouth bunches to one side. Can’t think about that now. This meeting isn’t a risk. Nate and Kate are mourning teens, just like me. They wouldn’t hurt me.

  “Hey. Earth to Audrey. Where’d you go?” Noah catches my eye from up the picnic bench. I’ve been completely zoned out, considering possible outcomes to the next half hour. Some of them are fine. Some end in blood and screaming.

  Giving him a weak smile, I push my hair back over my shoulders. This is fine. We’re fine.

  “I think they’re here. See?” I follow the direction Noah is pointing toward the parking lot, and gulp.

  Kate has arrived, and it looks like Nate came too. The Anderson twins climb out of a car and approach over the slippery grass. The closer they get, the worse I feel. Kate and Nate lost their parents at the hand of a man I’m connected to. A man whose sick fantasies I unknowingly fed into. I suck in a deep breath, fighting to breach the surface of my own grief. I need to apologize for my part in the events that ruined their lives.

  A horrifying thought strikes, making me go rigid.

  If Nate and Kate have been paying any attention to the news around the Gemini Killer and John Baugh’s trial, they likely have heard the comments that hint at my culpability. Nate and Kate might actually blame me for their parents’ deaths. They could be the ones sending threatening messages.

  Plus, three hours is pretty far from Hacienda, but not inconceivable. Noah and I drove it before lunch time on a school day. If they wanted to, it wouldn’t be impossible for Kate and Nate to drive to Hacienda to terrorize me. Thanks to the numerous articles about the case, and me, my sister, Karen and Justin, I wouldn’t be hard to find.

  The twins could have conspired to try to flatten Taryn outside the school. If they’re responsible for all that, of course they’d agree to meet me. Then they’d probably pull a knife or a gun. Kill me where I sit. Noah, too.

  In the middle of the park. On a picnic bench covered in bird crap. How long would it be before some poor stay-at-home parent and their kid stumbled on our bodies?

  For a survivor of a serial killer, my self-preservation instincts are far lower than they should be. Trees along the park’s edge draw my attention away from the twins. This park is heavily wooded. Tall oak and eucalyptus trees form a green and brown barrier most of the way around the park’s edge, blocking the view from the street. We’re practically in the middle of a forest. Didn’t Noah say once that it’s difficult to find a body in the woods because of the underbrush?

  Our phones are off, so no one knows to look for Noah and me here. My pulse kicks up. Kate picked the park as our rendezvous spot. Maybe she knew it would be the perfect place to end me without witnesses. No one would see it if they were driving past, minding their business.

  Why is hindsight so much sharper than foresight?

  Noah touches my hand where it’s clenched in my lap, snagging my attention. “Hey. What’s going through your head right now?”

  Exhaling, I push my spiraling thoughts down. I’m being ridiculous. The Anderson twins were my friends, once upon a summer. They won’t blame me for violence that wasn’t my fault. I’m here to apologize and check in on two people who used to be good friends.

  “Nothing. I’m okay.” So far I’ve had no indication that Kate or her brother want to see me bleed. As my mom used to say, I’m borrowing trouble. The wooden bench seat jiggles under my weight as I relax. I’m here to talk. I can do that. If there’s any hint of deceit, then we run.

  I scrub a hand over my forehead as Nate and Kate get closer. My heart constricts at the broken looks on their faces.

  Kate slides onto the bench on the opposite side of the picnic table. She attempts a smile and quits halfway.

  Under the table, Noah puts a hand over mine and squeezes, just a little. It’s enough.

  “Thanks for coming.”

  Nate shrugs, standing a few feet away. Kate gestures for him to sit, but he shakes his head roughly, eyes downturned, like he can’t even bear to look at me.

  My ribs suddenly feel too tight around my lungs.

  Push through it, Audrey. He’s hurting. “I bet you were surprised to hear from me, huh?”

  “You could say that, yeah.” Kate looks to her brother, but he doesn’t respond. Simply stares past us into nothing, shoulders curled inward. Clearly he’s thrilled to be here.

  Biting her lip, Kate looks at me. “Nate and I, we were both surprised to hear from you. We weren’t sure you even remembered us. Twin camp was a long time ago, and with everything that’s happened lately…” One of her fingers follows the grooves in the table top.

  “I remember you. When I found out…” My voice gives out. Swallowing, I try again. “When I heard about your parents, I was devastated for you. At the time, it felt like all of it was my fault.”

  “Because of the messages.” Kate’s focus lifts to my face. It fuels my courage to continue.

  “Right. Because of the messages. But the truth is, I should have reached out when I found out. Should have told you how sorry I was that you lost your parents, too. And I hope it’s not too late to tell you that. I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could have done. To stop him from… from taking them from you. From taking anyone else.”

  Nate huffs. Arms crossed. Eyebrows slashed downward. Anger radiates from every muscle. I don’t blame him. If our roles were switched, I’d probably be mad at me too.

  “Nate, I’m so—”

  “Don’t. It doesn’t change anything.” Kicking up a cloud of dirt, he turns away. Paces toward the nearest stand of trees. Swipes at his face. Is he crying?

  Noah’s eyebrows twitch upward.

  My frown droops farther.

  “Nate, come sit, okay?” Kate’s words go unacknowledged, so she swings around to face Noah and me. Her eyes are definitely wet, which makes mine start. I’m a sympathy crier. Always have been. My mom used to joke that if anyone in my class got hurt, I felt it right along with them.

  “Uh, here. Sorry it’s not a tissue.” Noah holds a dried out wet wipe in front of my face.

  The crinkled fabric pulled from one of his pockets, looks so pathetic a tiny laugh escapes.

  I use it and shove it into my pocket. “Thanks. Kate, I’m glad you came, if only so I could apologize again.”

  Her teeth peek through a weak smile. “Thanks. That means a lot. We should probably go. We snuck off campus to meet you.”

  “Take your time. I’m not in a hurry to get back to that fish bowl.” Nate calls from where he’s still standing with his back toward us.

  Noah gets off the bench and ambles to where Nate is standing. He doesn’t say anything, just stands there, offering what comfort he can to a stranger.

 

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