Mortal Sins, page 16
part #5 of World of the Lupi Series
“First,” Dad said, looking at Justin, “will your parents be upset if they find Toby here?”
Justin grimaced. “They’ll be mad we were outside without permission. And that I called him. They …” He gave Toby a look, apologizing. “They’re bent out of shape that he’s, you know, lupus. They didn’t know until it was on the news.”
Dad nodded. “I assume they’d be even more upset if they found me here, so if they should come out, I’ll leave before they see me. Now, Talia. You have a secret you’re afraid to entrust to your parents.”
She nodded warily.
“This secret made you want Toby to come over tonight without permission.”
Another nod.
“Toby, does Talia’s secret involve anything criminal or dangerous to herself or others?”
“Not criminal! But … well, there’s a danger, but it isn’t a life-and-death thing. It’s …” He spread his hands. “It’s about her.”
Lily spoke quietly. “Talia has a Gift, doesn’t she? One you believe your parents would disapprove of.”
No one said anything for a minute. Then Talia sighed real big. “I guess I’d better tell you. They want me to, anyway.”
“They?”
“The ghosts.” Talia’s long face seemed paler than normal in the moonlight, and tight, as if her muscles were trying to close her up. “They won’t leave me alone lately. They keep after me and after me, and the newest ones …” She stopped, gulped.
“I see. You’re a medium.” Lily didn’t look shocked, but Toby hadn’t figured she would be. “That’s a tricky Gift. And your parents don’t approve?”
Justin broke in. “They don’t know, and they’re not going to! They’ve always been down on magic, see, but ever since the Turning … that Reverend Barnes is all the time preaching against it now. He says anyone who consorts with spirits is dealing with the devil, but it isn’t like that! Talia can’t help it!”
“No, she can’t, not at her age and without any training. Talia, are these ghosts trying to, ah—to speak through you?”
“I don’t want them to.” Talia was near tears, which made her sound mad. She hated to cry. “There’s always been some of them around. I’d see them, or I’d hear them whispering in my mind, but it wasn’t a big deal. But ever since the Turning there’s been more, and now there’s these new ones, and they’re awful. They scream inside my mind and they won’t go away. And I can’t fix things for them, I can’t! That’s why I needed Toby to come over. They stay away when he’s around.”
Lily gave Dad a surprised look, her eyebrows lifted like “What?” Dad shook his head. “I don’t know. I never heard of ghosts having an aversion for us.”
“Hmm.” Lily turned back to Talia. “I suspect you’re seeing more ghosts since the Turning because your Gift is stronger now. That happened to some people once there was more magic around. Will you let me take your hand?” She smiled. “I’m a sensitive. I can make a guess about how strong your Gift is.”
Talia scowled and looked down at her feet. She picked at one toenail, then another. At last she shrugged. “I guess it won’t hurt.” She held out her hand.
Lily clasped it. “Oh, yes, you have quite a strong Gift. No wonder those ghosts are driving you crazy. Are there any around now?”
“I told you—they don’t show up when Toby’s here. I guess Mr. Turner would keep them away, too.”
“Okay.” Lily released her hand. “But Toby can’t be with you all the time, can he?”
“Maybe if I tell you what they want me to, they’ll go away.”
“They want you to tell me something? Me, specifically?”
“Well … he didn’t describe you very politely, but I’m pretty sure he meant you. The tall man, I mean. He’s the oldest ghost and he usually makes more sense than the others, but I think people talked a lot different back when he was alive.” Her face tightened in a scowl. “At first he called me ‘little darkie,’ but I made him quit. I don’t care if that’s what everyone said back then. People kept slaves then, too, and that was wrong. Though he says he didn’t have any slaves, but I think that’s because he was poor, not because he knew it was wrong.”
“He’s been a ghost a long time,” Lily murmured.
“Uh-huh. Now he calls me ‘little ’un.’ He can’t say my name. I don’t know if that’s a rule or if they can’t remember names, not even for a minute, but none of the ghosts ever say names. Anyway, he’s the one who said I was to tell you.”
“Okay. What do they want you to tell me?”
“About him. The one who … I guess he’s the one killing people. They said he’s making ghosts, and that’s what they call him—the ghost-maker. So I guess they mean he’s killing people. Only there’s more than one killer, isn’t there? So that doesn’t make sense. Ghosts usually don’t.”
“Is that exactly what they said?” Lily’s voice was soft, like Grammy’s was when Toby had had a bad dream. “That this ‘he’ is making ghosts, not that he killed them?”
“Ghosts won’t talk about death. Sometimes they’ll say what happened to make them ghosts, sometimes they won’t, but they won’t ever say they died. They want you to stop him. The little girl says he’s real cold, always cold. Her brother doesn’t talk—he’s really fuzzy—and she mostly cries, but she did say that. And their mom keeps saying, ‘He doesn’t know,’ over and over, looking at me like it’s important. I think I was supposed to tell you that. And the tall man … he said they’re scared. They’re all scared, not just the new ones.”
“They?”
“The ghosts. They’re scared of him, whoever he is.”
“I understand that they can’t or won’t use names, but did they describe him in any way?”
Talia’s mouth twisted. “I asked and asked, but ghosts are pretty stupid. They just keep telling me the same stuff again and again. And ‘help me.’” Her eyes glistened, but her jaw set stubbornly. “They say that, too, and sometimes they cry. Not the tall man, but some of them cry a lot. I hate that. But the new ones … they’re the worst. They started screaming in my head tonight, and it’s like … like they’re ripping at my brain. It’s horrible.”
Lily reached for Talia’s hand. “I’m so sorry you’ve had to live with this. It’s more than many adults could handle. Is this screaming a physical pain?”
“No, but—but it feels so awful.”
Lily nodded. “Pain doesn’t have to be physical to be real. These new ghosts … I need you to tell me how many there are, and what’s different about them.”
“Five. The boy and girl and their mom—they’re the ones whose dad killed them. I’m pretty sure about that, though they won’t say. And the two newest ones got shot today.”
“I see. And they’re different from the others?”
Talia nodded. “Usually it’s the old ones who get all wispy, like crumpled tissues. They sort of wear out. Except the tall man—he’s old, but he’s still clear, and he makes more sense than most of them. I don’t know why. But these … they’re new, but they’re fuzzy and tattered, as if they were real old. And they scream at me. The rest don’t do that.” Talia’s mouth quivered into a smile. “You don’t think I’m crazy? Or—or possessed, or making things up?”
“No. I can sense your Gift, remember?”
“Are you going to tell my parents?”
“I’m hoping you’ll decide to do that. Wait, wait,” Lily said when both Justin and Talia burst into words that tumbled over each other like upset puppies. “I know you believe they won’t understand. You’re afraid they’ll think your Gift is evil. Some people do think that way, because magic can be scary, and they don’t understand it. So you might be right. They might react badly. I don’t know. But I’d like to tell you a story about me, if that’s okay.”
Talia and Justin looked at each other. Talia nodded.
“I’m a sensitive. I told you that. But for years and years—all my life up until about eight months ago—I wouldn’t have told you. My family knew, and that’s where I’m different from you. My family knew and they were okay about it, but I knew lots of other people wouldn’t be. I wanted to be normal—what I thought was normal—and I didn’t want to deal with the screwy ideas people have about sensitives. So I didn’t tell anyone.”
“But now you do.”
Lily nodded. “Now I do. And you know what? It’s better this way. Some people don’t understand, and they’re wrong in the things they think about me. Some people are rude, but most aren’t. And I breathe better now that I’m not hiding my secret anymore. Have you ever had a broken bone?”
Talia blinked. “Yes, ma’am. My arm. Right here, see? It’s fine now. I broke it in the third grade.”
“You know how it felt right after the cast came off? The skin’s really soft and tender, and your arm is weak because you haven’t been using it. It feels like you still need to protect it, as if it could be hurt easily—but I bet you didn’t want the cast back. Right? Well, that’s how I felt when I stopped keeping my Gift a secret.”
Talia considered that a moment, frowning. “But your family knew about it already. They were okay with your Gift.”
Lily nodded. “And that’s an important difference. But you’ve got family who know about your Gift and support you, too. Your brother’s right here, and he doesn’t think you’re evil. Or no more than any brother thinks that about his big sister.” She gave Justin a quick grin, and he grinned back. “What you don’t have—what you need—is an adult who will stand by you while your parents get used to the idea. I don’t think my mother would have accepted my being a sensitive very well if Grandmother hadn’t been there telling her … Well, Grandmother is not always polite.”
Toby chortled. “I wish you could meet her. Lily’s grandmother is really something. She can make anyone do what she says. She made the pres—”
“We don’t talk about that, Toby,” Dad said quickly.
“Oh, yeah, that’s right.” Toby was still grinning, thinking of when he’d stood on the White House lawn near the president, because Grandmother insisted he be there when the dragons arrived. “But she really is something.”
Lily smiled, but didn’t look away from Talia. “Can you think of an adult relative who would be on your side?”
Justin answered promptly. “Aunt Sherri. No, really, “ he said when Talia looked doubtful. “She’s always telling Mom that Reverend Barnes is full of beans. Sometimes she doesn’t say ‘beans,’” he added, grinning.
“Mom doesn’t listen to her—she just changes the subject.”
“Mom doesn’t want to listen ’cause of Daddy. She doesn’t want to get in a fight, and Daddy thinks Reverend Barnes is Jesus’s best friend. Like the two of them have sleepovers and play ball together all the time, so Reverend Barnes has the inside scoop about heaven and all.” Justin paused, worry retaking his face. “Daddy’s going to be a problem.”
“If we tell.” Talia obviously hadn’t decided to.
“Maybe you could talk to your aunt Sherri about your Gift,” Lily said. “See what she thinks about telling your parents.”
“Yeah. Yeah!” Talia brightened. “I think she’d promise not to tell them something as long as it wasn’t about drugs or sex or something bad like that.”
“This still leaves us with a problem,” Dad said quietly. “When Toby comes home with us, Talia has no way to keep the ghosts from bothering her.”
“Can’t he stay?” Justin said. “Just for tonight. They’re worst at night. She’s tried crosses and holding on to a Bible and everything, but nothing keeps them away except Toby.”
“Not without your parents’ knowledge and permission.” Dad had a way of saying things in a way that made you know there was no point in arguing. “You need help managing your Gift, Talia. Neither Lily nor I can offer that, but for now … perhaps the ghosts are satisfied since you’ve passed on their messages. Why don’t you go to the other side of the yard and see if they’re still here? Would that be far enough?”
“Sure. I have to be real close to Toby to keep them away.” Talia bit her lip, then nodded and scrambled to her feet. The rest of them stood up, too, and watched as she went to the old swing set on the south side of the yard. She waited there a few minutes, looking around. Then she nodded, said something too softly for Toby to hear, and came back.
Her face looked a lot calmer. “The tall man said they—the regular ghosts—he said they’re circling the new ones to keep them from screaming at me. But they can’t pay attention for long. None of them can. They’ll forget why they’re doing it and quit. He said you really need to stop the ghost-maker.”
“I will,” Lily said.
It sounded like a promise. Toby worried about that. Could she really promise to stop the ghost-maker? They didn’t know who he was or how he was making people kill.
Dad did his thought-pulling thing, bending down to say softly, so only Toby would hear, “It’s what she does, you know. Right now she isn’t asking herself if she can stop the killing. She knows she will. She’s worrying about when.”
Toby swallowed. When made a difference, all right. “Okay. Only I can’t help wondering …”
“Yes?”
“What would ghosts be scared of? They’re already dead.”
Dad squeezed his shoulder. “Good question.”
TWENTY
WHAT would ghosts be scared of?
It was, Lily thought as she followed Rule and Toby through the gate, a very good question. Not the only one clogging up her pipes—her fingers itched for a notebook to jot some of them down—but maybe the most important one. If she could answer it, she’d go a long way to answering the rest.
The gate creaked as she closed it. Toby looked up at his dad. “I didn’t even hear the gate when you came. I thought I was listening, but I didn’t hear it.”
“Lily and I came over the fence.”
“Yeah?” Toby looked at Lily, then at the fence, obviously measuring their respective heights. Impressed, he said, “It’s a pretty high fence.”
She smiled. “Your dad gave me a boost once he was two-legged again.”
“But you still did it real quietly,” he said, determined to give her credit. “Uh … I’m sorry about calling you Dad’s mate. I’m not supposed to say that, but I forgot. It’s just that I don’t have a word for you.”
So she wasn’t the only one. “I’ve been bothered by that, too. I can say what you are to Rule, but I don’t have a word for what you are to me. Though maybe I’ve found one.”
“What’s that?”
“Family.”
Toby’s face lit up like she’d plugged him in. Quickly he looked at his feet, as if he might need to keep an eye on what they were up to. “Cool,” he said, in the way of a boy embarrassed by his emotions.
She wanted very much to hug him. “Of course, my family is kind of messed up.”
He looked up, grinning. “Your grandmother’s cool.”
“That she is.”
“Toby.”
That’s all Rule said, and in a mild voice, but the boy deflated. He sighed and scuffed his shoe in the dirt. “How much trouble am I in?” He looked up at his dad. “You figured out what I meant, right? When I made you a trail.”
“I did.” Rule stopped and put his hands on Toby’s shoulders. “You handled a difficult situation with honor. Not perfectly, mind, but with honor. I’m proud of you.”
The light came back in Toby’s face. He all but glowed as he asked casually, “So what’s my punishment?”
Lily’s mouth opened. She closed it before she got her foot in, but a couple more questions joined the rest on her mental list.
“Well.” Rule started walking again. “You did leave the house at night without permission. And this isn’t Clanhome.”
“I know.” Toby paused, then said hopefully, “Laps?”
Dad chuckled. “Oh, that would be such a punishment. You love to run. No, I’m afraid it will be math. Three days, one page of fractions each day.”
“Shit,” Toby said. Then, more quietly, “Whoops.”
Rule didn’t quite smile, but Lily could see the effort it took. “An extra page the first day for disrespecting your grammy’s rules about your language. Toby, I can tell Lily is puzzled by your punishment, since I said I was proud of you. Would you explain it to her, please?”
“Oh. Sure. See, I couldn’t tell …” But he stopped as they reached the street, quickly checking for cars.
He always did that, she’d noticed. It seemed to be a lupus thing. He never lost track of his surroundings, even when he might have assumed adults were watching out for him.
His pause was brief. They stepped into the empty street together. “I couldn’t tell Dad about the ghosts because I’d promised. It was an actual promise, so I couldn’t just decide things had changed and I needed to tell, see? Like if I say, ‘See you at school tomorrow,’ that’s not a promise. I could get sick or something. But if I promise to be at school tomorrow, I have to be there, even if my leg’s broken or a tornado comes. There’s no mitigating circumstances with a promise.”
The “mitigating circumstances” almost made Lily smile. It was so Rule. But this was deadly serious for Toby. “Admirable, but a hard standard to live by. Is this a lupi thing? Or just Nokolai?”
“Lupi. Like Grandpa says, we’re supposed to hoard our promises, or put limits on them, so maybe I shouldn’t have promised Justin and Talia to keep her secret without, like, establishing some parameters. I was pretty little when I did it,” he said from the lofty vantage point of his nine years. “I didn’t know about parameters. Anyway, when Justin called and said Talia was in trouble from the ghosts, I couldn’t tell anyone, but I needed Dad to know because Talia needed help. And you needed to know what the ghosts said. So I, uh, left a trail for Dad. I didn’t break my word, but I found a way to do the right thing. But I did break the rules.”
“By sneaking out.”
“Yeah. Kids don’t get to pick which rules we obey, just like clan don’t get to choose when they’ll obey the Rho. And sometimes there’s a price for doing the right thing. I have to be willing to pay the price.”
