He was predictable.

  “Since you left the house, I guess he was the one who did something wrong.”

  “Something like that.” It was quiet in his apartment. Only the light from the TV flooded the living room. The sound was on mute.

  “Want to talk about it?”

  I told my brother everything. We’d been that way since we were little. He was the closest thing I ever had to a parent. He was strong and understanding, and he told me things I didn’t want to hear. “Sean wants to go back to work but I told him no. We got into an argument. He said he’s going to do it anyway. I was too upset to stick around so I left.”

  “Why don’t you want him to return to work?”

  “Because he’s not done getting better,” I said. “He’s come a long way but he’s not finished. The real reason he wants to head back to the office is because he hates looking weak in front of me. He hates admitting he needs someone to take care of him. It isn’t because he actually wants to work or because he’s completely back to normal—and he won’t admit it.”

  Ryan nodded in understanding. “Well, it’s difficult for a guy to let someone wait on him, especially a guy like Sean.”

  “I understand that. I really do. If he wants more independence around the house, I’ll give it to him. But to go back to work like nothing is wrong…is not the answer. He wouldn’t compromise with me on it. It’s like he doesn’t truly understand what he put me through. And that’s what hurts the most.”

  “I’m sure he does understand, Scar. That’s why he wants everything to be back to normal so soon. He wants to make you feel assured that he’s going to have a long and healthy life. His request isn’t selfish…even if it seems that way.”

  “I’m sure you’re right…but I was too upset to stay there.”

  Ryan fidgeted with the tattoo on his ring finger like usual. “Which means you were really upset if you stormed out.”

  “I didn’t like the way he spoke to me. We make decisions together, but in this case he basically told me to accept it because my opinion was irrelevant.”

  “I’m sure he didn’t mean it that way.” Ryan was always neutral. He tried not to take anyone’s side.

  “I know he’s been through a lot. There’s no way he’s completely what he once was before. I just wish he would admit that before he returned to his normal routine like nothing happened. It’s not healthy. He needs to understand what he put me through. Things could have turned out the other way…and I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

  He put his arm around my shoulder. “Sleep on it. Sean will come around tomorrow. We both know how he is. He always puts you first.”

  “I know. But in this instance…it’s hurting him.”

  ***

  Ryan and Janice went to work the next day so I stayed at their place. I watched TV and read the magazines Janice had left out. Sean didn’t call me and I was grateful he didn’t. I needed space right now. Looking at him would just irritated me all over again. Knowing him, he probably went to work.

  And that would just piss me off even more.

  Around three in the afternoon, there was a knock on the door. That was too early for either Ryan or Janice to come home. I eyed the door from the couch and contemplated whether I should answer it. Something told me Sean was on the other side.

  There was a light knock again.

  I left the couch and looked through the peephole. Sure enough, Sean was on the other side. He wore jeans and a t-shirt, and his eyes looked tired like he’d been awake all night.

  I unlocked the door and opened it.

  He looked at me with sadness in his eyes.

  I stared back at him while I kept my hand on the door. “I need more space. I’ll come home in a few days.”

  Sean put his hands in his pockets but didn’t make any move to leave. “Can we talk?”

  “Honestly, I don’t feel like it.”

  He shifted his weigh to one leg. His shirt hugged him tightly, and the outline of his hard body was noticeable. His arms were thick and powerful, reminding me of tree trunks. He had scruff on his chin from not shaving. “I couldn’t sleep last night…not when you weren’t there.”

  My experience wasn’t much better.

  “I don’t want to sleep without you again. Please come home with me.” Desperation was in his eyes.

  I didn’t like denying him anything. My whole purpose in life was to give him whatever he wanted. “I’m still upset…and I just don’t want to be home right now.”

  He released a sad sigh then ran his fingers through his hair. “At least have dinner with me.”

  I shook my head. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I began to shut the door.

  Sean stepped inside before it closed. He turned my way, remorse in his eyes. “I’m sorry about everything. If you want me to stay home for a few more weeks, I will. Whatever you want, it’s yours.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “You’re only saying that now because I’m staying here.”

  “Whether you stay here or not I’m still sorry.”

  I kept my distance from him even though a part of me wanted to hold him and never let go. “Why did I have to leave the house in order to get you to change your mind?”

  “Because the threat of losing you is enough to get me to do anything you want. You have complete control over me in that regard. Whatever you want, just threaten to stay with your brother and I’ll give it to you.”

  “But why did it have to come to that?” I was getting worked up all over again. “I understand you need your independence. You rely on your job for identity. You rely on your strength to take care of me. But you need to understand what I went through when I thought…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. “I know you’re struggling with this, but remember that I suffered too. You weren’t there when it happened but…remember it did happen.”

  “I do understand,” he said gently. “I do. I just want to get back to normal. I hate it when you look at me like that…” He lowered his gaze like he couldn’t meet my look anymore. “When you look at me like I’m helpless and weak. I hate it, Scarlet. I want to be your hero. I want to be the man you turn to for protection. But now…it’s like I’m useless.”

  “That’s not true, Sean.”

  “It is.” He continued to stare at the ground. “I just want to get back to what we were.”

  “We will. You will be strong just the way you used to. I have no doubt about that.”

  He slowly met my look.

  “But don’t rush it. You’re going to hurt yourself and me. Just be patient. Your strength will come back.”

  “How can I call myself your husband when I’m this week?”

  I stepped close to him then brushed my fingers across his cheek. “When you take a knife to save our son’s life. That’s how.”

  His eyes softened in emotion.

  “If you weren’t there…” I swallowed the lump in my throat. The idea of losing Sean made me want to die but losing one of my babies…was somehow worse. “Our son is alive because of you. You’re brave, powerful, and the rock of his family. You’ve managed to protect us all and keep us safe at some point.”

  His eyes looked into mine.

  “Now stop pushing yourself when you aren’t ready. You need to get better so when we do need you again you’ll be ready. Isn’t that the most important thing? Getting back to your full strength so you can look after me?” Appealing to his protective side was the best way to get through to him.

  He nodded. “You’re right.”

  My voice came out as a whisper. “I’m always right.”

  He didn’t deny it or tease me. “I know you are.” He closed the gap between us and his hands were on me. He gripped my hips like I might slip away if he didn’t grab me tightly enough. He kissed my forehead and let his lips linger there for a long time. “Will you have dinner with me?” He rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes.

  “Yes.” How could I deny him at this point?

  He opened his eyes. “You forgive me?”

  “I’ll always forgive you.”

  “And you’ll come home?” He held his breath like I might give him an answer he didn’t want to hear.

  “No. You stink too much.”

  He flinched then gave me a disappointed look.

  “Kidding.”

  For the first time in that conversation, Sean smiled.

  Chapter Ten

  Slade

  I was never nervous before a show. To me, playing music in front of a hyped crowd was when I felt more alive. The nerves didn’t get to me, and I certainly didn’t need a Xanax to chill out. We’d been practicing for a long time and I knew everyone would be impressed with our sound. Scotty and Razor were still irritated with me, but they’d gotten over it for the most part.

  I headed to the bathroom backstage then barged to the sink. I splashed cool water on my face because I was so warm. It was a ritual I did before every show. After I patted my face dry, I turned around.

  Dee was leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette. The way her lips were pressed tightly together told me she was on edge. I’d never seen her smoke, and I had a feeling she only did it once in awhile.

  “You’re going to be fine.” Maybe a little encouragement would keep her calm.

  “I just get nervous…” She took another long drag.

  “Everyone gets nervous. But don’t let it get to you.”

  “Are you nervous?” She crossed one arm over her chest and propped up her other arm.

  “No. But I never get nervous.”

  “I wonder what that’s like…” She blew smoke through her nose.

  “You know what I do?”

  “Picture everyone naked?” she said sarcastically.

  “No.” I kept a serious face. “I pretend a scout is in the crowd and he’s going to sign me once the set is finished. I stop caring about the crowd and only care about him. I’m telling you, it works.”

  “Interesting approach.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “Dee, you’re amazing. Come on, you’re a better guitarist than I am and we both know it. They’re going to love you. Just chill.”

  Her shoulders relaxed slightly. “I’m not sure why I get nervous…”

  “You’re never nervous when it comes to anything else,” I argued. “You’re usually one badass chick. Come on, I want to see her. Where’s the no-bullshit attitude?”

  She finally smiled. “Somewhere deep in there…”

  “Then let her come out to play.” I patted her shoulder then headed to the door. “Come on, we got a show to play.”

  Razor came down the hall with his drumsticks in his pocket. “Your wife is looking for you.”

  “My wife?”

  He gave me a smartass look. “Who else has a wife?”

  I rolled my eyes and stopped myself from punching him in the face. Then I turned to Dee. “You want to meet her? She’s a sexy chick.”

  Dee chuckled. “Well, I’m not into girls so her sexiness doesn’t matter.”

  “No, you don’t understand how sexy she is. She makes straight women turn les on a daily basis.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Yes, I would love to meet her. But I still love dick.”

  I laughed. “Okay, come on.” We headed to my dressing room. Trinity stood there with her arms across her chest. She wore skin-tight jeans and a cropped shirt that showed her toned stomach. She looked like a badass dressed in black. Her blonde hair was in spirals, and her heavy make up made her look too hot to touch.

  I whistled loudly. “Damn.”

  Trinity smirked slightly and her cheeks tinted.

  “Are you trying to give me a boner for the entire show?” My hands moved around her waist then I gave her a few kisses along her jawbone and neck.

  “I just wanted to wish you good luck—like always.”

  I looked down at her and touched her navel piercing. “Well, you succeeded.” Then I gave her a deep kiss on the mouth.

  Dee cleared her throat.

  “Oh, sorry.” I totally forgot about her. “Trinity, I want to introduce you to Dee, the new guitarist.”

  Dee smiled then extended her hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you. Slade talks about you all the time, and you look just like the photo on his desk.”

  Trinity shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you too. And what picture?”

  “I have a picture of you from our wedding day on my desk,” I explained. “It’s the one where you’re looking away…”

  Trinity’s eyes softened. “Oh…that’s sweet.”

  Dee watched our interaction. “Slade is a really nice guy. He looks after me when he doesn’t have to. I can tell you guys are perfect together.”

  “Oh…” Trinity touched her hair self-consciously. “Well, thank you.”

  I was relieved this meeting was going well. Trinity didn’t act threatened by Dee but that didn’t mean anything. Now she would see that this girl really wasn’t an issue. She was just a friend and band member.

  “I like your tattoo,” Trinity noted.

  “Thanks.” Dee glanced at her arm. “I do too. I wish I could have had Slade’s dad ink it but what’s done is done.” She eyed Trinity’s arms. “Do you have any tattoos?”

  “Yep.” I grinned from ear-to-ear. “My name written right along her hip…where no one can see it but me. It’s so fucking hot.”

  Trinity blushed slightly. “Anyway…yes, I have one.”

  Dee laughed. “It sounds very nice.”

  “And I have one of her.” I lifted up my shirt and pointed to the area just below my chest.

  “Wow.” Dee’s eyes widened. “That looks really cool. The detail is so…perfect.”

  “Dad did it.” I pulled my shirt down. “Told you he was the best of the best.”

  “Damn, you were right.” Dee stepped away with a thoughtful expression on her face.

  “Well, baby, I need to jam.” I kissed her cheek. “You’ll be in the first row, right?”

  “I’m always in the first row.” Trinity gave me an affectionate look.

  “Are you going to flash me?” A smirk was on my lips.

  “I will…after the show.”

  “Ooh…I look forward to it.” I smacked her ass then gave her a quick kiss. “I’ll hold you to that.”

  ***

  We had a great show.

  Dee was apprehensive in the beginning. Her voice didn’t carry its full strength, and she tended to shy away as much as possible. But when we came into the third song of the set, she was much more comfortable and belted out her lyrics like she was born to do it.

  When we played music in front of an audience, the tension between the guys and I disappeared. When we did what we loved, there wasn’t any reason to be mad. My fingers moved across the strings but my fingers were so callused that I could hardly feel a thing.

  Every time I looked down, I saw Trinity’s beautiful face staring up at me. She cheered as she jumped up and down, and that pretty blonde hair moved with her. There were a few times when I winked at her, loving the fact my wife was my biggest fan. She came to all my shows without me even having to ask. She heard all my songs a million times. She even heard me write them when they were first created. But she still came anyway.

  After the set was finished, we got a loud round of applause. People even threw roses on stage. It felt good being in a band again. I wasn’t sure why I took so much time off to begin with.

  When we were backstage, we wiped the sweat from our foreheads and high-fived.

  “Dude, we were awesome,” Scotty said. “Like, super awesome.”

  “I caught some girl’s bra.” Razor pulled it out of his pocket. “And she was hot.”

  I turned to Dee. “You did a great job.”

  “Thanks.” She was still red in the face. “I was so nervous in the beginning…”

  “But you came out of your shell.” Razor clapped her on the back. “And when you did, everyone noticed.”

  “Yeah, you did great,” I added. “Now there’s no reason to be nervous next time.”

  “I hope so,” she said with a sigh.

  I heard footsteps from the doorway, and I turned to see my sexy wife.

  “You did great—like always.” Trinity put her arm around my waist and gave me a deep kiss.

  “Yeah?” I grinned while my lips were pressed to hers. “Turned you on a bit?”

  “A bit?” she said with a laugh. “More like a lot.”

  “Can I fuck you against the wall of my dressing room?”

  “Like you even need to ask…”

  Conrad cleared his throat. “Other people are in the room, man.”

  I pulled my lips way from hers. “Well, make it known next time.”

  “I’ll set off a fog horn,” Conrad said. “How about that?”

  “That should do the trick,” I said seriously.

  Conrad rolled his eyes.

  “You did a great job.” Theo was speaking to me but his eyes were on Dee.

  “Thanks,” I said. “Glad you could make it.”

  Theo finally tore his gaze away from her. “You’re slick on the guitar.”

  “I’ve been playing for years,” I said. “But I wouldn’t be so awesome without my band mates.” I nodded toward them.

  “Yeah,” Theo agreed. He glanced at Dee again before he purposely looked away.

  Conrad caught the exchange then turned to Dee. “Hey, I’m Conrad. I’m Slade’s brother-in-law.”

  “Oh, cool.” She shook his hand. “I’m Dee, Slade’s second guitarist.”

  “Yeah, you were really good,” Conrad said. “I think you and Slade should trade places.”

  “Don’t give her any ideas,” I said quickly.

  Dee chuckled. “I could never replace Slade. He’s too valuable.” She turned to Theo then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “How are you connected to Slade?”

  Theo cleared his throat before he spoke. “We’re friends. We’ve been friends for a long time.”

  “Cool.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m Dee. Who are you?”

  “Oh.” Theo seemed to forget his manners. “Theo. I apologize.” He shook her hand. “You were great out there.”

  “Thanks,” she said politely.

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15