Stop at Nothing, page 13
part #34 of Forever and Ever Series
“You made all of this just for us?”
She shrugged. “I don’t have anyone else to cook for.” There was no melancholy in her voice. She spoke plainly, like her isolation wasn’t a big deal.
“Well, thank you. It looks really good.” I shoveled the food onto my plate and ate quietly. I tried to concentrate on my plate but my eyes kept drifting to her face. Whenever they did, I spotted her looking back at me.
“How was your day?” She acted like we weren’t having a staring contest.
“Good. Yours?”
“We had a lot of shipments at the winery. We spent all day preparing for it.”
“That sounded like a bitch.”
She chuckled. “It wasn’t so bad. It keeps us in business so I’m not going to complain.”
“That’s a positive way of looking at it.” I had a bite of the asparagus and was surprised it tasted so good. I wasn’t a fan of anything green or healthy. “This is pretty tasty.”
“Thanks.”
“You shouldn’t have a problem getting your kids to eat healthy.”
She chuckled. “I think it’ll be more difficult than that.”
I took a long drink of the wine. “Sorry if it tastes like piss. I don’t know the difference.”
“It’s very good. You know more than you think, Jared.”
I liked the way she said my name but I couldn’t figure out why.
She finished half of her plate before she was full. She hardly ever ate anytime I was with her. It was the reason why she was so small. “The game is coming on.”
“Free dinner and a game? Man, you’re the coolest chick ever.”
She blushed slightly then left the table. “I’m going to wrap this up.”
I wiped my plate clean so I didn’t have any leftovers. But I helped her put everything else away.
“You want some to take home?” She opened a Tupperware storage unit and shoveled the food inside.
“You slaved over that. You should keep it.”
“Jared, I can’t eat all of this. It’ll go bad.”
“Okay,” I said immediately. “I’ll take it.” If she insisted, I wasn’t going to say no. I never had anything to eat at my apartment. I ate out all the time because I didn’t know the difference between a frying pan and a spatula.
After we finished putting the food away, we moved into the living room and sat on the couch. The baseball game was on, and we watched that in comfortable silence. After the fourth inning, Beatrice took out a book and began to read.
“You want me to turn it down?” I asked.
“No, you’re fine,” she said without moving her eyes away from the page.
I turned back to the screen as I rested my arm over the back of the couch. Just watching TV with her after dinner was comfortable. We didn’t always need to talk when we were together. Sometimes the silence was more soothing.
I was so comfortable that it worried me. This was exactly what I wanted; a beautiful girl to cook me dinner and spend time with me after work. She was my best friend as well as someone I was immensely attracted to. I could be myself around her, completely.
Then I remembered it was just a fantasy. Beatrice would only be my friend, and she could never be something more even if I wanted her to be. She and I were so close together, but we were also so far apart.
Whenever I wanted something, I just took it. But I couldn’t do that with her. What could I possibly offer her? I’d come to really care for Beatrice in a way I couldn’t explain with words. I thought about her all the time, and when I wasn’t with her I wondered what she was doing. From the moment we said goodbye, I counted down the minutes until I would see her again. My heart always accelerated when she was near, and I knew her smell better than my own.
But I had nothing to offer her.
How could I hurt someone I cared so much for? Even if she felt the same way and something happened between us, I knew how it would end. It would end the same way it did with Lexie. Beatrice’s face would be soaked with tears and she would be damaged beyond repair. I didn’t trust myself not to hurt her.
Because, no matter how hard I tried, I would.
Chapter Seventeen
Theo
“Why do you look so miserable?” I sat across from Slade in the booth at Mega Shake.
He stared at the wall for a moment like he hadn’t heard me. Then he slowly turned my way and regarded me with hollow eyes. It was like looking through the windows of an abandoned house. “Because I am miserable.”
I sipped my soda and rested my elbow on the table. “Something happen with Trinity?”
He rubbed his entire face with his palm. “Yeah…she hates me.”
“Because of the baby thing?”
“Yep.” He released a deep sigh that came from the back of his throat.
“She was really that mad?” What was the big deal? Postpone kids for a year or two. It wasn’t the end of the world.
“She’s not mad…”
“Then what is she?”
He closed his eyes as he said it. “Heartbroken.”
I stared at the table for a moment before I met his gaze. “She’ll get over it, man. She’s the one being unreasonable right now.”
“Whether she’s being unreasonable or not I don’t want my wife to hate me.” He pinched his nose. “We were doing so well…everything was perfect. I was happy. She was happy…”
I wish I had something better to say.
“I haven’t had sex in eleven days.” He dropped his hand and opened his eyes. “Eleven.”
I nodded my head slowly. “That’s a long time.”
“I’ve had sex almost every day since I first hooked up with that foxy blonde and now my dick is drier than a desert.”
“Thanks for the vivid picture…”
“I want to make things right with her, and not just because I want sex. I hate the way she looks at me now. It’s like I’m the reason her life sucks.” He slammed his hand down on the table. “I feel like shit.”
Alex and I had our differences, but nothing ever came close to this. She was the only girlfriend I ever had, and marriage was something we stopped discussing a long time ago. My heart still hurt when I thought about her. I remembered the guy who answered her door. Acid burned in my stomach. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Slade. You’re just going to have to wait for her to come around.”
“I don’t think I can make it to twelve, man…”
“Well, there’s always your hand.”
He shook his head. “When you get married, there’s no going back.” His phone vibrated on the table and he quickly glanced at it. Then he typed a message and tossed it back on the table like he didn’t care if it broke. “You know what, don’t listen to me. Don’t get married at all. Just when you think you have it figured out, you realize you don’t have a clue what you’re doing…”
“I’m sure it’s always a learning process.”
“Remember in high school when we would get a bunch of homework, and just when we finished it at the last minute the teachers would drop a shitload more on top of us?”
I didn’t know where this was going. “I guess…”
“That’s how marriage is. Just when you think you’re caught up, you realize there’s so much other shit you need to do.”
I nodded like I understood even though I didn’t.
The door to Mega Shake opened and Dee walked inside. I noticed her immediately because she had dark black hair. It was so dark that it was clear she dyed it. She had porcelain skin that reminded me of a doll, and it made the tattoo on her arm even more striking.
There was something about her that caught my attention but I wasn’t sure what it was. Of course, she was really cute. She had a rockin’ body and a petite frame, but there was more to it than that. I got a strong vibe from her, like she was a badass that could do more than her small stature implied. When she walked into a room she made her presence known through her silence. I could tell she didn’t take crap from anybody and she respected herself. I tended to be attracted to these type of women; the kind that were strong, proud, and unbreakable.
When Dee spotted Slade, she headed to his side of the booth. “I just wanted to drop these off. I know how you are when you don’t have them.” She pulled a sardine box out of her pocket and set it on the table. Judging the clanking noise inside, there was something in it.
“Thanks.” Slade didn’t look at her. “Bye.”
Dee immediately knew something was wrong judging the expression on her face. “What’s up, Slade?”
“You know…the same old shit.”
She turned to me with a raised eyebrow like I would explain his behavior.
“Him and the wife are having problems.”
“Oh…” She turned back to him. “What’s going on?”
Slade turned to her like he just realized something. “Do you want to have kids?”
Dee looked even more confused. “Uh…maybe someday.”
“Thank you.” Slade slammed his hand on the table. “You see that? Someday. Not today. Not right now. Not in five minutes.” He hit the table again like he just proved his point.
Dee crossed her arms over her chest. “Does Trinity want to have a baby?”
“Like a million of them. And right this second. I could go home and knock her up right now if I wanted to.” He made a thrusting gesture with his hands. “Bam-bam. Then she would stop hating me.”
“Is there any particular reason why she wants to have kids right now?” Dee asked.
“Because her best friend is.” He rolled his eyes dramatically. “That stupid brat had to get knocked up and ruin my life. Man, I hate her.”
I knew he didn’t mean that.
Dee remained calm, so I assumed she’d become accustomed to Slade’s emotional intensity. “You aren’t ready to have kids now but someday you will?”
“Yes,” Slade said coldly. “But that isn’t good enough for her.”
Dee patted him on the shoulder. “Give her some time. She’ll come around.”
“Tell that to my dick.” Slade abruptly slid out of the booth then stormed out of Mega Shake.
I tried not to laugh because his exit was a little ridiculous.
“Uh…” Dee looked just as confused as she did at the beginning of the conversation. “What did he say?”
I chuckled. “He hasn’t gotten any for eleven days. He’s going a little crazy.”
“Oh, I understand now.” She tucked her hair behind one ear and showed the piercing at the very top of her lobe. It was a stud with a ball at the end.
I looked away so she wouldn’t think I was staring at her. “I like your tattoo. Are bears your favorite animal?”
“I wouldn’t say they’re my favorite, but I definitely admire them and respect them.” She continued to stand next to the booth without sitting down. It was clear she was debating if she should leave or not.
“Then why did you get that tattoo?”
“For the same reason everyone else gets theirs.” She shrugged. “I thought it looked cool.”
“It’s very cool.” I didn’t have any tattoos myself but they seemed so popular that I was considering it.
Dee had a tiny frame, almost smaller than Trinity’s, but she still looked like a grown woman. She had curves in the right places, and she carried herself like she had every reason in the world to strut. “You like this place?”
“It’s our spot,” I said. “We love it here. When we need something cheap and good, this is where we come.”
“I like it too—once in a while.”
I wanted her to sit across from me but I didn’t want to invite her. The moment I did, I was going to lose the upper hand. Dee was a cool chick and she was hot but I didn’t want to give her the wrong impression. I wasn’t looking for a hook-up. The last one I had was depressing.
I sipped the last of my soda then tossed it on my tray. “I shouldn’t eat here as often as I do but I just work out harder to compensate for it. And all I do is exercise for a living.”
“You’re a personal trainer?” she asked.
“No, I’m more of an athlete.”
“What does that mean?”
“I own a martial arts studio. We have different classes for all different levels and ages. I’m an instructor there.”
When she straightened her body as she examined me, she seemed genuinely interested. “That’s really cool.”
“Thanks. I like it.”
“How did you get into that?”
“I’ve been doing martial arts since I was little. It’s the only thing I’m passionate about.”
“That’s impressive,” she said. “Congratulations.”
My eyes were glued to her face when she spoke, and I noticed a tiny glint in the back of her mouth. It looked like a flash of metal. The more she talked, the more opportunities I had to look at it.
She had a tongue piercing.
Fuck, that was hot. I’d never kissed a girl who had one, and I certainly never gotten head from a girl with a bar in her mouth. But I would love to give it a try. “You’re a really good musician. Are you planning to play professionally?”’
She released a quiet laugh. “You’re sweet. But no, it’s just a hobby.”
“Oh, you’re good. I’m not just saying that.”
“Thank you. While I love writing music and playing it, I don’t have what it takes to make it big.”
“What does it take?”
“Well, I’m just not good with crowds or being the center of attention.”
She fooled me. “You don’t strike me as shy.”
“I’m not. But I have stage fright. It’s much easier for me to stand behind Slade and let him lead.”
“Even though he isn’t as good as you are?”
She smiled. “I’m not going to tell him you said that.”
“Like he doesn’t already know. He says so all the time.”
Her cheeks blushed slightly and I liked the color on her skin. “Slade is a very modest man. He has a lot of talent even if he doesn’t announce it all the time. I have a lot of respect for him, personally and professionally.”
Slade had always been popular with the ladies. “He’s a good guy.”
“He is. He’s a big sweetheart.”
“I don’t know about that…the nicest he’s ever been to me was when he gave me the other half of his Snickers bar.”
She laughed loudly and even snorted a little.
It was cute.
“He’s much more generous than that, I can assure you.”
“I’ll have to take your word for it.”
We remained silent as the awkwardness descended. We officially ran out of things to talk about and that was apparent. She held her hands together in front of her waist as she looked through the windows. “Well, I should get going. Have a good night, Theo.”
“I will. You too.” I wanted to offer to walk her home but I didn’t want to give her the wrong impression. The last thing I wanted was for her to think I was even remotely attracted to her. Even if I were looking for an easy lay, she wouldn’t be my first choice. Since she was in Slade’s band things could get complicated. It was best to steer clear of her.
And I intended to.
Chapter Eighteen
Slade
How long was my wife going to hate me?
Forever?
I always gave her whatever the hell she wanted, and now she threw a fit when she didn’t get her way once in a blue moon. I understood kids were important to her, but my youth was important to me. Trinity hadn’t even traveled much. We only went on our honeymoon together. I wanted to see more of the world with her and share the experience. How could we do that if he had a kid running around?
I was just asking for more time, and not a long time. A few years was unreasonable. It wasn’t like our kids would never get along with Skye’s if they weren’t exactly two months apart.
My dick was going to fall off. When I didn’t make love to my wife at night right on schedule my body didn’t know what to do. I was hard during the day for no reason at all. Sometimes when I did the bookkeeping, it would pop up out of nowhere. I either really needed to get laid, or running the shop turned me on.
When I picked up Trinity from her office, she gave me the cold shoulder like always. She pretended I didn’t exist and kept her gaze averted. She didn’t even speak to me.
“Trinity, this needs to stop.” I rested one hand on the desk so I wouldn’t lunge at her and fuck her right on the floor.
She placed her laptop in her purse.
“Do you hate me?” Did her love for me disappear that quickly just because I wasn’t ready to be a father? Could I be dropped that quickly?
She put her bag over her shoulder then flipped her hair.
“You want to divorce me?”
That got her attention. She finally moved her eyes to my face. “No.”
That was the only somewhat nice thing she had said to me in over a week. “Then can we let this go?”
She looked away again. “I’m not mad at you. I already said that.”
“You aren’t?” My lid was about to blow. “Because you’re acting like I’m the biggest nuisance in the world.”
“I’m just…” She closed her eyes for a long time. “It’s hard to recover.”
I wanted to grip my skull and scream. “Listen to me, Trinity. I will give you children. I promise. Just not today.”
“But that’s not when I want them.” She came around her desk and headed to the door. Her heels tapped lightly against the floor but they weren’t as loud as they usually were. Her spirit had disappeared, and all that was left behind was a woman I used to know.
***
I took a really long shower just so I could hide. The water fell down on me and drowned out all other sound. I preferred cool water to warm because my body was always so hot all the time. The temperature dimmed my anger slightly, chilling it.
I stared at the drain below my feet and tried to think of a solution to my problem. I could cave and give Trinity what she wanted but that wasn’t fair. This marriage was about both of us, not just her. Everyone seemed to understand my side of the story perfectly. Why didn’t she?
