The Beholding, page 5
Tess lifted her chin a notch higher. As badly as she needed those wages, the fewer who knew her whereabouts, the better. “No, thank you, General. I’m not sure of my final destination. My parents and I haven’t seen each other since my wedding day. I’m sure they’ve no wish to hear from me, nor I, them.”
Sympathy softened his tone. “Then may God speed you on your journey, madam.”
An urge to shed herself of false amenities forced Tess out of the office. Without a glance, she swept past the orderly. As she stepped into the bright June sunlight, a hand at her elbow stopped her from calling out to Tommie. The three-year-old was splashing water at his friend Zachariah near the horses’ drinking trough.
“What’s your hurry, Contessa? Turn around here and let me look at you.”
Jim’s brown gaze darkened to near black as she faced him.
“God, woman, you get more beautiful every time I see you. How are you?”
“How do you expect me to be?” Never quite knowing how to take Jim’s compliments, Tess finally gave way to the belligerence engulfing her. “Does everyone know? Poor Tess Harper. Stupid, beautiful Tess Harper. A product of parents who swindled people.” It was too much, finding herself a widow only to learn that what little respect she’d built these past four years was suddenly buried with her husband. Must she start over? Was a woman’s worth only to be gauged by the father who sired her or the man she wed?
“The general and Clifton were poker partners. You know Clif,” Jim reminded her, “he never could keep his mouth shut if he had one too many whiskeys. No harm done or Hunt would’ve already had you arrested. The point is, are you going to be all right on your own now?” Genuine concern filled Jim’s hawk-like features. “I wish I would have been there to change matters, Contessa. Clifton was never good with a gun.”
Luke had never mentioned that Clifton had drawn his gun. He merely said her husband had gotten into the line of fire. Tess wasn’t sure of the path her thoughts were taking since Luke Reeves’s visit. “Where were you when it happened?” she demanded. “I thought the two of you were supposed to be together.”
Jim ignored her question, staring up the street at a group of women coming out of the mercantile. “Looks like services are over. Wonder who they condemned to hell this morning.”
“I’ve got a pretty good idea,” Tess muttered and opened her parasol. She turned her back to the church-goers. If he had anything to hide, he was a master of disguise. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“We rode together as far as Pencil Bluff, but Clif said he had some business to take care of.” Jim ran a hand through the chestnut hair at his temple before settling his hat back on his head. “I sat through an all-night poker game and a couple of bottles of whiskey before I heard he’d been shot. Rode here soon as I sobered up enough to sit a saddle. Just barely made it to the burial in time. Clif was my best friend, Contessa. Let me help you.” He reached out and tucked a stray wisp of hair back into her bonnet. “I care about you … and Tommie.”
Brawny shoulders and the sincerity in his brown eyes offered a tempting haven for the doubts spreading through her, but Tess refused to surrender. How would she ever know whether she could make decisions for herself, live by her own creed, if there was always someone to lean on or throw herself into his arms?
Jim’s fingers lingered a little too long against her cheek, and she turned away from his touch only to find one of the ladies staring at her. As the group strolled near, Zachariah’s mother whispered something to the others, and each chin lifted higher as they passed.
“Good day, ladies,” Jim crooned, doffing his hat.
“Mr. Daggert.” The general’s wife spoke for them all. In a decidedly more condemning tone, she declared her disapproval. “Mrs. Harper.”
“Ladies,” Tess muttered as they passed, wondering if she would ever fit into such a circle of women or if she even cared to do so. The thought was so totally disgusting, she couldn’t resist the urge to make the pedestals they placed themselves on teeter a bit. “Sometimes it’s not bad being the odd piece out of a jigsaw puzzle.”
When their bustles were little more than colorful bobs in the distance, Jim laughed. “What does it matter whether or not you fit in with them? You’ll be gone within hours, and they’ll be making someone else miserable.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Tess argued, although she realized it did. She might scoff at the women but never at the respectability and acceptance they enjoyed. Jim couldn’t understand her need of these things. A man’s gun hand always earned him the necessary respect. The quality of a woman’s reputation was everything.
“Yeah, it doesn’t matter,” he teased. “Like snakes don’t rattle?”
She begrudgingly linked her arm through the one he offered and allowed him to escort her away from headquarters.
“Didn’t know you knew Luke Reeves so well,” Jim commented in a tone she couldn’t define. “Seems to me a woman oughtn’t make a habit of feeding the man who shot her husband, much less consider him for the job you posted.”
Tess unthreaded her arm and halted where she stood. “Seems to me, Jim Daggert, you shouldn’t be presuming so much. That’s no one’s business but my own.”
“Now, Contessa, I was only trying to spare you from any further gossip, and you know it.” Chestnut lashes widened over his eyes in exaggerated disappointment as his lips drew together in a childish pout.
Shading herself with the parasol, Tess ignored his explanation and resumed her walk. “I’ve lived with gossip all my life, Jim. You know that better than anybody. You’ve been a fine friend to Clifton and me, but I won’t have you or anyone else spying on me, good intentions or not.”
He quickly caught up with her. “Spying on you, Contessa? Watching out for you is more like it. Don’t you notice how men look at you? Have always wanted you? Reeves would have to be a blind man if he didn’t try to seduce you.”
“That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. Seduce me by killing my husband? I may have been foolish in the past, but do you really think I’m so naive?” Determination strengthened her stride. “I know he isn’t simply trying to make amends. You forgot, I’ve been used by the best. I know when I’m being manipulated.”
“Now, Contessa. I know how you feel—” A loud wail interrupted the gambler’s apology.
“Take ‘at back, you hear! I do it again if you don’t take ‘at back!”
Tess gasped as she saw Tommie dunking Zachariah’s head in the water trough. The red-headed boy struggled for air, then came up screaming, “Ma-a-ama, Mama!”
Flinging down her parasol, Tess ran and pulled her son off Zach, trying to dodge the small feet and hands still kicking out at his near-drowned friend. “Stop it, son. Stop it! Why would you want to hurt Zach? He’s your friend.”
Huge tears welled in Tommie’s eyes and trickled down his dust-smeared face. “No more, he ain’t!”
As Tess held him back, Tommie spat. The wad missed Zach’s feet by inches, but Tommie’s adversary acted as if it hit him in the face. He launched himself into the three-year-old, wrestling both Tommie and Tess to the ground.
The ferocity of the impact caught her off guard and nearly knocked the breath from Tess. When she finally found words, the yell she’d intended exhaled in a feeble, “Let me up, boys!” A whirlwind of three-year-old fists and legs kicked and punched hard until, with regained strength, Tess ordered, “Stop this instant and let me up!”
A strong pair of hands pulled one of the screaming wildcats off her, then roughly tore the other from her grasp. Luke seemed to appear out of the dust and swung Tommie up on his shoulders so Zachariah couldn’t reach him.
“Yet me down!” Tommie shouted, struggling to unperch himself. “He’s gotta take ‘at back.”
“Settle down, Tom. There are other ways to handle this.” Luke’s command was soft yet given in an authoritative tone which instantly stilled Tommie’s squirming protest.
“He oughta let them go after it,” Jim grumbled as he offered a hand to Tess and helped her stand. “Only way the boy’s gonna learn to take up for himself.”
“Luke’s right.” Tess brushed the dust from her skirt. Jim’s hands shot out to help her, but she quickly pushed them aside. “Fighting’s not the answer.”
“Only meant to help.” Jim’s grin enhanced a suggestive glint in his eyes. “With the boy, I mean.”
“Are you all right, Tess?” Luke asked. Gripping Zach by the scruff of his collar, he kept a careful watch on Tommie as the three-year-old made faces at Zach.
Tommie spat again and met his mark. Zach let out another bellow, drowning out Tess’s reply that she would be fine.
Like an enraged goose defending her offspring, Zachariah’s mother ran squawking from her quarters and grabbed her son, crushing him to her ample bosom. He seemed more in peril of smothering now than he had ever been at the trough. Darting an incriminating glance at Luke, the woman kissed the boy all over his face.
“Did this man hurt you?” Daggers of blue targeted Luke. “If he did, I’ll see to it… why are you so wet?”
The freckles on Zachariah’s face wrinkled into one spotted blotch as he accused Tommie of trying to drown him.
Tess denied the charge against her son. “Tommie would never do such a thing without being provoked. And Mr. Reeves was merely trying to keep the boys from hurting each other any further.”
“After all I did for you, Mrs. Harper! Allowing my son to play with yours and befriending you when no one else would.” Delilah Wainwright shook a finger at Tess, thought better of it, then pointed it at Tommie. “You need to learn a few manners, young man.”
Tess took a step closer.
The woman must have caught the warning in Tess’s eyes, for Delilah immediately curled the accusing finger back into her palm.
“I’ll deal with my son’s part in this, Delilah.” Tess’s expression hardened. “You deal with yours.”
“Everyone told me you were no good.” Delilah’s brows arched over a look of self-righteousness. “But I felt it was my Christian duty to offer you a hand of friendship. The Lord said when you’ve tried your best and it doesn’t work, to ‘dust thy feet and walk from among them.’ I shall keep you in my prayers.”
Disgusted with the holier-than-thou attitude, Tess did a little poking of her own, in the woman’s chest, punctuating her words as she uttered them low and deadly. “Pray for yourself first, Delilah Wainwright. Perhaps someday, if you’re lucky and a lot less sanctimonious, you might discover what real friendship is.”
“Well, I never!” Delilah backed away, moving far enough to have plenty of running room. Grabbing her son’s arm, she puffed and sputtered about the indecency and coarseness of it all. “Come, Zachariah,” she demanded, then nearly dragged her son toward her apartment on officers’ row.
“She’s right. I don’t suppose she ever will.” Luke’s comment met with silence.
Finally Tess began to giggle. Jim’s mustache lifted above a silent grin.
Tommie’s brows knitted together as he looked up at his elders and asked, “What’s so funny?”
Laughter barreled out of Luke’s mouth like a roll of thunder. Onlookers stared out curtained windows, and doors stood ajar along the row.
“You know, I once vowed I’d never put another woman’s reputation in jeopardy,” Tess informed them as her laughter ended. She could easily do just that to Delilah’s. But she wasn’t Delilah Wainwright, who, if their roles were reversed, would announce to the eavesdroppers some of her adversary’s imperfections. Though Tommie’s birth had come a few weeks past nine months into her marriage to Clifton, Zachariah’s birth was not so full-termed. If it hadn’t been for the boys’ presence, Tess might have allowed herself the temptation to gossip … just this once.
“So?” Jim urged.
“So, why break it now?” Common sense prevailed.
“Or ever.” Luke agreed.
It seemed as if the bounty hunter knew Tess was testing herself and was proud that she had passed muster.
“Yet me down, Yuke.” Tommie squirmed on Luke’s shoulders. When the bounty hunter deposited him in the dirt, Tommie ran to Tess and hugged her skirt. “Mommie, it’s not true, is it?”
She hugged him and lowered herself to her knees so she could meet him face to face. “What’s not true?”
“Zach, he said …” Tears filled Tommie’s voice and eyes. Grown-up concern aged the youthful face that began to hiccup. “He said you no good and ‘at make me no good too.”
“No, son. It’s not true. You’re all that’s good in this world.” Tess hugged him fiercely. Damn that woman and her mouth! Had Delilah told Zach more? If so, how many others at the fort knew? The general was a man accustomed to keeping his counsel, but Delilah Wainwright’s spiteful tongue knew no honor. If the woman decided to tell everyone about Tess’s past, the news would travel like wildfire.
Tess had known from the first time one of the soldiers tried to kiss her and been reprimanded, that she would never be accepted. No one believed she hadn’t teased him, not even Clifton.
A beauty like you does something to a man. The words from that horrible night in the Hot Springs bathhouse echoed in her brain now as if the man were standing next to her. Tess shivered as the nightmare of the attacker’s foul touch shot remembered pain through her. Wiping at the dirt from the scuffle, Tess knew she could never remove the unclean feeling left by the man who had compromised her. How many times did Tess ask herself if things would have been different if she had told her father she would not lure men to the baths so he could rob them? Probably just as many times, she reminded herself, that he convinced her he would hurt Mother if she didn’t obey.
“We must leave today, this very hour.” Tess looked first at Luke, then at Jim. Before someone says even more to Tommie, she wanted to add. He mustn’t learn his way. Not until he’s older. Not until he can understand that she might have once followed her father’s commands and was as no good as Delilah claimed. But she had paid a dear and irretrievable price for her failings and the respectability she sought so desperately now.
“Let’s get outa here.” Jim offered her the parasol she’d dropped several yards away. “I noticed you’ve got a wagon ready. I’ll just put my gear with yours and we’ll head on out.”
Tommie held his arms up for Tess to lift him. Wrapping his legs around her waist, he held on as a frightened baby cub would to its mother. “I wanna go with Yuke, Mommie.”
“Now, boy”—Jim’s tone implied an anger hidden from his features—"your mother’s got enough to worry about without you causing more. Your daddy would want you to act like a little man.”
“Mrs. Harper’s already got her belongings loaded in my wagon,” Luke broke in, stating fact rather than challenge. “It might take you a while to make similar arrangements.”
Between sniffles, Tommie whispered into his mother’s ear, “I don’t yike Jim, Mommie. He’s mean.”
The beginnings of a headache stabbed at Tess’s temples, making her grimace. The trip would be hard enough on Tommie without fear of the man they’d have to count on for their safety. She disliked Jim’s attitude almost as much as she hated the idea of entrusting her son’s life with the very man who’d killed his father. In the end, Tommie’s needs determined her choice.
“Luke’s right,” she said. “My decision is made. Though I appreciate your offer, Jim, he’s the most prepared to take us. I must hire him.”
The two men exchanged glances. An undercurrent of words and silent promises … warnings … passed between them.
Tess felt drained. The sun bore down on her face and neck, exhausting any remaining strength she possessed. It was a long time before nightfall and she meant to camp many miles from here. Let them preen and prattle about their qualifications; her decision had been made.
As she began to walk away, Jim reached out and gripped her forearm. “Wait, Contessa! This is unnecessary. Why not have the benefit of two scouts? I’m heading to Colorado anyway. Got some business in Denver and thought I’d try my hand at mining. Why not travel with you and help out? I can ride shotgun with the wagon while Reeves scouts ahead for danger.”
“I have no money to pay you for your trouble.”
“I didn’t ask for any, did I?”
The idea of two scouts appealed to her. If Jim tried to overstep any boundaries, Luke would set him straight. When Luke revealed his real reason for watching out for her and Tommie, Jim might prove handy. Tess looked to see if the bounty hunter offered any objections. “Luke?”
Though his features were noncommittal, Luke’s dark gaze bore into her. “You’re the boss.”
His cocky stance and tone brought their argument of last night to mind, and she remembered how she had made it clear who would make the choices. Having the distinct impression that he had never said those words to any man, Tess felt a sense of security for the journey ahead and a feeling of uneasiness, as well. She could easily push this dangerous man too far. Sarcasm tingled her reply. “I’m asking your opinion.”
His stance widened, though sooty lashes narrowed over his piercing look. “Makes sense. Two scouts would be safer.”
From his taut jawline and the twitch in Luke’s cheek, she knew Jim wouldn’t have been his choice for a second scout had there been another, but the bounty hunter seemed willing to overcome his own prejudice in favor of good sense. She liked that about him. “It’s settled then. Tommie and I will meet you two within the hour.” Juggling her son higher on her hip, Tess breathed an inward sigh of relief and headed for her apartment.
“No objections as long as you get one thing clear, Daggert.” Luke thumbed up the tip of his hat. His gaze met the curiosity in Jim’s sullen brown eyes.
“What’s that?” Full of male bravado, the question challenged.
“Tommie’s a three-year-old boy, no matter what you or his daddy might have expected of him. Don’t be trying to make a man out of him when you haven’t completed the job on yourself.”
