The Beholding, page 14
He closed his eyes as her fingers delved into his hair and caressed the back of his neck. If he lived to be a hundred, he would never tire of her touch.
“You feel so good. Not like …”
“Clifton?” Unreasonable jealousy opened Luke’s eyes as he took his fill of her incredible beauty. “Do you still miss him?”
“No.”
“It’s only been weeks. Didn’t you love him?” Somehow her answer seemed important. More important than knowing if she was Harper’s accomplice in crime.
“I wanted to protect him, nurture him, provide a nice home for him.”
Luke braced on one elbow and stared at her. “Sounds like you’re talking about your son, not your husband. Were you trying to be Clifton’s parent or his wife?”
Sensing his underlying need, she found the courage to admit the truth. “I never wanted him like I want you.”
Luke’s heart clenched as if a huge vise locked around it. His eyes spoke the shout of joy filling his soul, though his words still questioned, “How can you care for me? No one else in this world bothers to.”
“No other woman?”
“Not even my mother.”
She pulled him close, wrapping her arms around him. “How very much we need each other.”
She had not said she loved him. Had no idea how desperately he needed the words of forever. The sting of tears hitting his eyes made him bury his face in the crook of her neck while his hands held her fast.
As she felt the moisture of his tears, rage surged within her. What gave anyone the right to make him feel unloved? What kind of woman denied the goodness that was Luke? What kind of mother denied her son? Was there only hurt in his life? At least she had Tommie’s love. The absence of any love at all seemed a terrifying prospect. No wonder he had built a wall of ice around his heart and traveled the lonely path of a bounty hunter.
She couldn’t yet promise him love, but Tess had to let Luke know how much he had come to mean to her. If it meant being a bit forthright in her actions, then so be it. He needed this, and God knew she wanted him. “Show me what you want. Teach me.”
The harsh lines of his face tightened to match the tension drawing his body taut. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“I know I want to learn everything. The way only you can show me.”
With a groan he pulled her closer and kissed her, teaching Tess how much she sought, learning how little he knew. Her nails raked his back as pleasure purred in her throat.
Threads of passion wove through him, knotting deep within as he unfastened the many buttons of her homespun. When the garment fell away, he caressed the velvet ivory of one shoulder, then the other. Her hands delved into his hair, and he thought he would scream as the movement brought the arch of her back, thrusting the rose-crested nipples peaking beneath the camisole closer to his lios.
He was a man too long denied satisfaction, and the temptation nearly exceeded his will. But to rush now after waiting all this time to experience Heaven seemed ludicrous. Carefully unlacing the camisole, he lowered it over the generous swell of her bosom, past her waist and the becoming flare of her hips. He nipped and tugged on one perfectly pebbled nipple, allowing his tongue to taste the erotic essence of Tess.
Salvos of passion sizzled through him and struck with such blinding force, white-hot desire sent the world careening behind his closed lashes. His lips released the taut pinnacle only to capture the other in its stead. His need quickened, demanding fulfillment.
She gasped as her fingers sought to bring him closer, reaching for the buttons of the material that kept him from her boldest touch.
“Let me help you,” he offered huskily.
His hands rested over hers as she eased each button loose. The buckskin proved difficult, but the anticipation of filling her hands with rough velvet was too intense for him to let the moment pass awkwardly. Anticipation became approval, sending a shiver over her skin.
His breath hissed between his teeth.
“Did I hurt you?” she asked, removing her hand. “I forgot about your thigh.”
With a deep exhale of breath, he attempted to still the currents bolting through him. “I’d say my thigh is safe. I ache in other places.”
“Then show me where you hurt.” Her hands rested on his hips. “Here?”
His fierce smile matched the dark twinkle of his eyes. “Huh-uh.”
Her fingertips traced the hair beginning at his navel, plunging much lower. His skin was supple and warm, the muscled flat plane of his abdomen wonderfully hard. Dare she? “Here?”
“No.” His voice thickened with desire.
Her eyes widened in playful sensuality as her fingers cupped the hard reality of his male flesh.
“There.” Luke’s legs tightened as his breath drew in raggedly. A wave of insane pleasure crashed against the mindless ecstasy felt beneath her touch. Her name became a prayer. “Tessa….”
With an anguished sound, she arched her hips and pressed her aching flesh against him. A granite-hard shaft of hot velvet sank deeply into her, filling Tess so completely she almost wept with need and the perfect complement of their bodies. All her life she had longed for this moment, knowing she wanted it but afraid she could never give as equally.
Passion transformed his face as the power of his thrusts moved in her, increasing the tempo of her desire. His name tore from her throat as their gazes met and locked while long, slow strokes carried him deeper, brought him back, only to delve in again.
He whisked her off to a place beyond consciousness, beyond awareness. Crying for release, she soared up, up, up, until the pressure within mounted and coiled, stretching to a point of near bursting. Suddenly, her head arched backward. His body tensed. A shuddering spasm unraveled the slim thread of sanity left. In ecstasy she cried out his name over and over, weeping as their release came and he silenced his own shout with a desperate kiss.
Luke held her, relishing the feel of Tess beneath him, letting his heart slow to a normal rhythm. Her skin glowed, tasting of the essence their lovemaking evoked. Though his passion was spent, he couldn’t resist cupping her breasts once more and paying homage to each. She moaned and he recognized the difference in tone. Rolling over and taking his weight off her, Luke was unwilling to completely relinquish their closeness. He urged her to move atop him and marveled at the lush beauty pressing wantonly against him.
“Will you stay with me in Colorado?” she asked, bracing her chin with her hands and resting her elbows on his chest.
Studying her face, he didn’t know how to say what he must.
Tess wiggled for a better position, kissing his throat, nibbling at his ear. She noticed the sudden tensing beneath her touch. Sensing something terribly wrong, she unlinked her legs and moved to one side. Was it possible he had not been awed by the miracle of their lovemaking? “What is it? Didn’t I satisfy you?”
Luke drew back, his eyes revealing half anguish, half anger. “Satisfy me? Dear God, Tessa, you’re more woman than I’ve ever known. More than I want to know.” And therein lay his anguish. How could he tell her about the jealousy spawning deep inside now that he had been touched by her passion? Luke prayed that Clifton had been the lover who helped her master the bewitching art of lovemaking she seemed so expert at.
The possibility that she might be guilty of seducing the patrons of the Hot Springs Bathhouse seemed more likely now that he knew her skill. And the likelihood cut Luke to the bone. Damn, but he wanted to believe her innocent. He knew she didn’t lie about being molested; her pain had been too real. She’d saved his life. A deed simply to ensure her and Tommie’s safety across Indian territory? If only this indecision would go away.
Luke never let anything but duty rule his judgment, and it scared the hell out of him that all he could think of now was to forget his assignment. Forget the nagging questions that scarred the most beautiful night of his life. Forget that he had nothing else but his word to live by … to count on.
Take just this one small moment in time for yourself, his heart whispered. You’ve waited for someone to hold you this way, to touch you and fill you with all you’ve been denied. He bit her lips; Tess bit back. He pressed the center of his need hard against her. She opened to accommodate his desire.
“I want to know one thing,” he demanded.
“What?” she teased.
“Why should I stay with you in Colorado?”
“You know.”
“No, tell me.”
“Because I care for you.”
“More.”
“Because I want you.”
“Is that all?”
“I need you, Luke.”
“Nothing else?”
Once again their bodies melded into one. A seed of warmth planted itself in the pit of Tess’s abdomen, sprouting into furrows of desire. Needing no further encouragement, she nourished his movements until she was arching to meet Luke’s thrusts. Tess twisted her head from side to side, begging him as he’d once predicted she would, “Please …” but not knowing what she asked for. When she reaped the rapture of his touch, a scream tore from her throat.
Instantly Luke captured the sound with his lips but not before experiencing his own shuddering cataclysm. For upon Tess’s lips he tasted the words, “I love you.”
Chapter Fourteen
Luke’s right arm ached from being in one position too long. He started to flex it before his eyes opened to see and identify the pressure upon it. A minimum price for such a memorable night. Tess’s lips nestled just beneath the hollow of his neck. Her golden hair cascaded in soft disarray over his arm as velvet curves molded perfectly to his length.
Watching her quietly, Luke noticed the becoming widow’s peak above her brow, studied the pattern of freckles lightly dotting her nose. He admired each breath lifting her breasts.
Her nose wiggled, adding a comical tilt to full lips, making Luke chuckle despite his effort to refrain. She tossed the blanket off and stretched long bare limbs. Her toes curled and she raised one knee until it rested against his right hip and thigh. The weight added a mixture of pain and pleasure to his already aroused senses.
The scent of her hair blended with the primroses he had strewn about to please her, but none of the blossoms matched the fragrance that was Tess. Unable to resist the temptation, he stroked the silken curve of her waist, softly caressing the flare of her hip and admiring the essence that was soft, warm woman.
A hand, feathery in its touch, smoothed the ebony wisps of hair that curled along his broad chest. Her lashes fluttered and a smile darted across her lips, then vanished. Was she pretending to sleep?
A shudder passed through him as he wondered if she studied him as intimately as he admired her. How did he compare to the others?
His hair was unkempt by most standards. He preferred the wilderness style adopted by Custer. Luke sported no beard or mustache as was the custom even here in the West, but most women he had known said they preferred clean-shaven men. His eyes, full-lashed and midnight blue, contrasted sharply with his dark hair and caused many a fight when he was younger. Pretty as a lady’s. How many times had he been told that? About as many times as he nailed someone’s hide over it.
The rest of him could be cut from just about any slab of rock. Lean and chiseled to hard edges, he had earned every scar and Callus except the one on his cheek. When he wasn’t hunting a man down, he found jobs that challenged him physically so he didn’t have time to analyze the wrongs of his life. Couldn’t do anything about his face. Hell had wanted him so badly, it marked him while he was still in the womb. Wasn’t much to offer a woman who could choose just about any man she set her mind on.
Luke’s hand moved away from her hip as if she had already rejected him.
Tess woke. She glanced at his face, her nudity, then sat and reached for clothes and the blanket, all in one motion.
She began to dress with her back turned to him, so he did the same. When she had fastened the last button on the homespun and he yanked on the second boot, they met each other’s gaze.
“Morning,” he offered, thinking she was the prettiest sight he had ever woken up to.
“Good morning.”
“How’d you sleep?”
“Wonderfu … I mean, fine, thank you. And you?”
“The best ever. Do you always wake up like you’re shot at?”
“No. It’s just that it’s dawn, and I didn’t mean to fall asleep in your… I mean I didn’t mean to leave Tommie alone so long.”
“I checked on him a couple’ a times. He’s snoring like a bear cub tucked in for the winter.”
“Any sign of Jim?”
“No, but I figure he’ll be in soon. He’s due for supplies.”
“Then we ought to be heading back.”
A practical end to the night they shared. What had he expected? Luke felt momentarily awkward and groped for something to say, but words failed him. He offered his arm, and she linked hers through it, falling into step beside him.
“Tess, about last night,” he paused. “It can’t happen again.”
She felt confused, not by Luke, but by her own emotions. Had she allowed him to play her for a fool? Tess walked ahead of him.
He reached for her arm. “Are you just going to walk away? Not say anything?”
She was confused. Her steps halted as she faced him. “What’s there to say? Last night was obviously nothing more than two people who desperately needed each other.”
“It can’t be more than that, Tessa. I’m assigned to a job that might keep me from you for a long time. Maybe even years. It’s better we stop this now before either of us get hurt.”
“It’s too late for that, don’t you think? There are other jobs. Give us time to be together.”
“I can’t, Tessa. I’ve given my word.” He stared off into the distance, unable to meet her gaze.
“And your word is what you live by … right? Everything else be damned.” She flung her arms out in frustration, knowing he was right, despising herself for her anger, yet unable to stay in his presence a moment longer. Tess returned to camp alone.
Three hours later, Luke stood in the stirrups and shielded the Kansas sun from his eyes. Talon’s ears twitched and his head bobbed, urging Luke to peer closer. A horseman. Half a mile out. Daggert. For the first time since he had met the man, Luke was glad to see him. Luke met the gambler halfway and reined to a halt.
“Looks like you’re up to some scouting.” Jim dusted his hat on one leg, then set it back on his sweat-soaked hair. “That’s good, ’cause I could use some sleep.”
“Trouble?” Luke checked the horizon for something he might have missed.
Jim wiped his mouth on a sleeve, then thumbed in the direction he had come. “Don’t reckon so. There’s some kind of herd coming this way. Darndest thing I’ve ever seen. The drovers are mostly Osage and Cheyenne warriors. The trail boss is a fellow named Jesse Chisholm. Said he was hired by an agent in Wichita to take the herd to New Mexico territory.”
“Any way we can pass them by?”
“Sure. If you wanna paddle up the Arkansas. The herd numbers near three thousand and, from the looks of it, stretches from here to Colorado.”
“Chisholm know we got a woman and a boy along for the ride?”
“Said he heard about the white woman before he headed out of Wichita. The menfolk are hoping we get there in time for their Fourth of July celebration. Must be planning something special for her and the boy.”
“What about the Cheyenne and the Osage? Are they settled enough to let us pass?”
“Chisholm gave his word that if we’d give him the honor of meeting Tess and the boy, he’d personally guarantee their safety. One of his white drovers said the trail boss speaks fourteen dialects and is trusted like a chief among the civilized tribes. If Chisholm gives his word, the Indians working for him will honor it.”
“Then it would do us good to accept his hospitality. Maybe an hour or two of visiting will save us days of watching for trouble. How far afield are they?”
“About five hours out at most,” Jim informed. “Chisholm’s riding point, so you’ll see him first. Can’t miss him. He’s a half-breed with a handlebar mustache. Says he’s heard of you. I hope you haven’t got reason to know him. Saw him deal with a couple of rustlers, and I’d say you two were an even match.”
“When did you ever see me shoot?” Suspicion gnawed at Luke. The gambler had only two opportunities to witness his gunplay since going to Fort Smith—once at Pencil Bluff during the exchange of rifles, and second, when he’d suffered the injury at Blue Hawk’s hand. If Daggert chose the incident with Blue Hawk, then he must have been on the scene sooner than indicated. No bullets had been exchanged between Luke and Blue Hawk after the gambler’s supposed “just-in-the-nick-of-time” arrival.
“Saw you take care of those Comanche. Blue Hawk took one of your slugs before I got him.”
Just what I suspected. Daggert was up to no good. The time for confrontation with the gambler would have to wait till Luke had all the details and not just suspicions.
“Watch the wagon. I’ll meet with Chisholm. If I’m not back by nightfall, you’ll know something’s happened to sidetrack the herd.” Luke spurred Talon into a trot and rode in the direction Daggert had come from. His troubled mind wandered. He couldn’t forget how Tess filled him with a sense of belonging. A prospect of home, family … happiness.
He had grown to care for Tommie, as well. Like he’d never cared for anything or anyone in his life. Smiling at the image of the three-year-old mimicking his own toss of a lasso, watching the pride in the boy’s face and set of his shoulders as he became more familiar with handling Talon were all memories Luke intended to carry with him to quiet the discontent that would fill him for days to come.
What future did his word leave him but a cold, lonely existence that knew no happiness? Yet could he call this happiness? A pain the size of Texas clutched his heart every time he thought about turning Tess in. A heat the degree of ten prairie fires scorched every place Tess’s hands touched every time he thought of her, much less looked at her. If this was happiness, it should be easy to go back to his previous hellish life. But it wouldn’t be.
