Next-Door Incubus, page 6
part #1 of Becoming Lust Series
I took a shaky breath and gripped the handle on the car door tightly in my hand. Don’t cry, Dani. Not in front of Eros. You’ve embarrassed yourself enough tonight.
A tear slipped down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away with the back of my hand.
“Dani,” Eros said quietly, looking at me from the driver’s seat. “It wasn’t your fault.”
My chin trembled.
It was my fault. I was the one who couldn’t hold it in. I was the one who made a mess. And I was the one who couldn’t even clean it up.
“Look at me.”
Another sharp pain pierced through me. I clutched my stomach, eyes widening. “Pull over.”
“Dani—”
“Now.”
As soon as the car stopped on the side of the road, I stumbled out and fell to my knees on the concrete. My throat burned, and I hurled but nothing came out. My stomach was turning over and over, not stopping. My arms were posted on the ground, trembling.
More tears were falling.
I wanted to go home.
Eros got out of the car, and the next thing I knew I was in his lap, his arms curling around my body. He laced his fingers into my hair and gently rubbed the top of my head.
“I—I wasn’t faking it,” I said, choking on my words. I wasn’t even trying to hold back the tears anymore.
“I know,” Eros whispered.
I squeezed my eyes shut, letting the rain drench me. At least he didn’t think I was just looking for attention. I grasped onto him, hoping that he’d never let me go.
He gently held the sides of my face. “Dani, can you look at me?” His eyes were a soft green and his hair was plastered against his forehead. Drops of water rolled down his cheeks and fell off of his jaw.
“I didn’t even want to go tonight.”
“Don’t sacrifice your happiness for someone else, especially for someone who treats you like that.”
The Ollie’s Diner sign blinked above his perfect fucking face, and I paused. I wasn’t sacrificing my happiness, was I? I just wanted to make Trevon happy. When he was happy, I was happy. It was just a bad night. We would get over this.
Eros picked me up in his arms and placed me back in the car, adjusting the vents so the hot air would warm me.
~~~
As soon as we got home, I brushed my teeth and rinsed my mouth with mouthwash, getting the vile taste of tonight out of my mouth. Eros was in the kitchen, pouring me some medicine. Needing desperately to also take a warm shower, I locked the door and peeled off the top half of my costume.
I hooked my thumbs under the material and tried pulling it down. After five minutes of struggling, I let out a scream. Tonight just kept getting worse and worse, didn’t it? All I wanted was to take this off and forget about everything.
Eros knocked on the door. “Are you okay?”
“I can’t get this damn thing off.” I wiggled my hips again, pushing and pulling it in different directions. It should be so simple, so goddamn simple.
“Do you need help?”
“No.”
Yes, I did. Someone helped me get it on, someone probably needed to help me get it off. But that someone couldn’t be Eros. I didn’t have the energy to deal with his flirting right now.
I jerked up my knee, hoping that it’d help loosen something—anything—but I banged it against the closet door. “My God.”
“Let me help you,” Eros said.
I glared at the door, debating whether or not to actually open it for him and let him see me so bare. “If I unlock this door and you try something, I’ll suffocate you with this damn suit,” I said.
“I’m not going to try anything, Dani.”
I covered my breasts with my arm and opened the door. He stood in the doorway, medicine cup in one hand. He had changed out of his angel costume and put on a tight blue crewneck that hugged his body perfectly.
After placing the cup on the counter, he took a deep breath and knelt down in front of me. His fingers grazed against the sides of my hips. He looped them inside of my waistband, balled his hands into fists, and flexed his biceps. When he pulled down, the veins in his arms grew slightly more pronounced.
The costume slid over my hips almost effortlessly for him. Very slowly, he pulled it down my legs. Inch by inch by inch, his gaze followed. Once the costume was at my feet and I was standing in nothing but my underwear in front of him, he looked up at me. “You’re sure you couldn’t do that by yourself?”
“Yes.”
For a mere moment, his gaze flickered to my hips.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I said.
“How am I looking at you?” he asked.
“Like… like…”
He stood up and turned away. The muscles in his back were flexed. “If you don’t want me to look at you, I won’t,” he said. His words didn’t calm me down like they should have. He tossed me a towel that hung off of the doorknob and gestured to the toilet. “Sit.”
I wrapped the towel around my body. He searched through the bathroom closet, pulled out Maria’s makeup wipes, and knelt next to me. “Close your eyes.”
He grasped my chin in his hand and gently wiped the wet cloth against my skin. My shoulders slumped forward, and I sighed. Maybe Eros was right. I shouldn’t sacrifice my happiness for someone else.
After wiping off my mascara, he softly brushed the cloth against my lips. I opened my eyes and watched his gaze travel across them so slowly, taking in every inch. He trailed his thumb over my bottom lip, making it tingle.
The faint scent of cinnamon drifted through the air. He blinked a few times, drew my face into his hands, and leaned in. My heart raced, yet I leaned in too. Closer and closer until he brushed his nose against mine.
Our lips were so close that I could almost feel them on me. Pressing against mine. Moving down my neck. Running up the inside of my thigh. God, I was so hungry for him.
Starved. Famished. Ravenous.
And it terrified me because I had never felt this strongly about Trevon, I had never felt this way period about Trevon.
Unsure of myself, I closed my eyes and reluctantly pulled away. Eros’s head fell for a moment, then he sighed. “I should go,” he said quietly and walked out of the bathroom.
Regretting my hesitation, I jumped up, held the towel to my chest, and said, “Wait.”
He stopped in the middle of the living room but didn’t turn around. All I wanted was to see those lovely greens that always saw right through me, the ones that knew my every thought before I even did.
“Why were you so nice to me tonight?” I asked.
He turned, and for the briefest moment I saw pain in his eyes. “Because I know how you feel. I’ve felt that way before.”
How’d he feel? Embarrassed? Ashamed? Betrayed?
“Wha—”
“Good night, Dani,” he said before I could finish. Then he walked right out the door, leaving me in this lonesome apartment with daunting thoughts about us.
Chapter 12
My phone rang for the fifth time in the past hour. I gazed at it vibrating on my plush blanket. Kasey lit the vanilla candle on my dresser, then pointed the lighter at me. “Don’t even think about it.” She pursed her red lips and crossed her arms over her chest. “He’s not worth your time.”
The ringing stopped. “I can’t ignore him forever.”
“Yes, you can, and you should. Trust me.” She snatched the phone and leapt onto the bed. “You know what, I’m just going to delete his number.”
I tugged my phone away. “Don’t be ridiculous. He’s probably just calling to apologize.”
Trevon’s name glowed on the phone again. Another text message from him. The twenty-seventh one today.
Kasey inhaled in annoyance and leaned back on the bed. “And you’re going to accept this apology?”
“Once we talk it through.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s what you do when you’re in a committed relationship.” Dr. U’s words echoed through my mind. “You fight, talk, try to work things out…”
She frowned and leaned against the headboard. “Not to hurt your feelings, but by the way he acted at the party, it didn’t even seem like you two were together.” She toyed with the tag on the blanket and gazed out the window.
I sighed and followed her gaze. Well, I couldn’t argue with that. He didn’t even care that I was sick. He just yelled at me until I left.
Eros cared. He even left the party to bring me home. Held me in his arms when I was sick. Took off my make-up. Almost kissed me…
God, what was I even thinking? Comparing Eros to Trevon? Eros wasn’t even someone that I’d ever consider dating. He flirted way too much. Probably had girls on speed dial. Like that chick Luci that had called him the other night when he drove me home from the restaurant.
Pfft. Definitely wouldn’t date him.
I was just vulnerable and lonely last night.
Kasey flipped onto her stomach and kicked her legs back and forth in the air, humming to herself.
Even if I considered it, I wasn’t sure how he felt after I pulled away from our almost-kiss—which definitely only happened because we were in the heat of the moment. I hadn’t seen him since.
“When was the last time you and Trevon went out on a date?” Kasey asked, pulling me out of my daydream about Eros.
“Um, last week we went out to dinner with a few people.”
She tilted her head, red lips in a frown. “I mean just you two.”
I sighed and rubbed my palms across my face. “I… don’t know. A month ago? Maybe, longer.”
She grabbed my hand and pulled me down on the bed with her. “He says that he wants to show you off, but never takes you out, Sweet Cheeks.” She gazed at Mom’s pendant on my chest and grasped it between her fingers. Immediately she released it, as if it burned her, and pulled her hand away. “I know that he tells you he loves you—and he might—but make sure he’s actually showing you he does.”
I sighed softly to myself and sunk into the bed. I would make sure he did. I’d give him a chance to clean up his mess. One chance. Then I’d be done.
My heart clenched at the thought of breaking up with Trevon. The past five years would have been for nothing, but I couldn’t dwell on the past. I needed to make sure I was happy. I deserved that much.
“Are you going to be okay?” Kasey asked. I nodded. Yes, I would be okay, hopefully. She raised a brow. “Don’t lie to me.”
“Yes, Kase, I’ll be fine. Thank you.”
She hopped off of the bed and looked in the mirror. “Okay, well, if you need me, call me. I have a hot date to get to.” She adjusted her bra in the mirror, pushing up her breasts, then winked at me.
~~~
After Kasey had left, I put the phone on my dresser and leaned against the headboard, knees drawn to my chest. It had continued to ring, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer it. I didn’t know if it was because I didn’t want to talk to him or if I didn’t want to keep lying to myself about what I really wanted.
Maria barged in, snatched the phone from my dresser, and turned it off. “Come on. I’m tired of you just sitting in your room and listening to this phone buzz.” She blew out my candle, letting the room darken, and tugged on my arm.
Light from the hallway filed into the room. “I can’t go out there. I’m so embarrassed.”
“It’s just Eros and Javier. They probably don’t even remember what happened. They were both so drunk at the party.”
I swallowed. Had Eros been drunk last night? He definitely was acting strange. Complimenting me. Taking me home. Caring for me. It wasn’t like him to do that, even if he was just empathizing with me.
“Dani, it’ll be fine. It’s just a movie.”
Nothing was ever just anything when Eros was there.
The scent of popcorn drifted into my room. I gazed past her, listening to Eros and Javier talk in the living room. There was no harm in watching a movie with them, right? Maybe it was just what I needed—to get out of my own head for a while. Then I’d answer Trevon’s call and everything would be back to normal.
I followed her down the hall to the living room. Javier stared at me with his lip half-curled when I walked in.
My cheeks flamed, and I took a deep breath. He definitely remembered. No doubt. Probably thought about it all night. Wanted to come over and torment me about it. Why did I even agree to this again?
Maria leaned closer to me. “Stop thinking the worst.” She gazed at Javier. “He’s just being friendly.” Then she nudged me. “Who knows, maybe he wants you too.” She released my hand and curled into Javier on the loveseat.
My gaze drifted back and forth between the two, and I suddenly had an urge to lock myself in my room and never come back out.
“Well, are you going to sit down?” Eros asked.
I fiddled with my fingers. I was afraid that if I looked at him, I would forget about the one chance I promised myself that I would give Trevon.
His head was tilted slightly, those eyes dark. He sat on the other couch alone. I scurried to the single-cushioned chair—on the opposite side of the room—and sat. Even after last night, I couldn’t trust myself around him.
We gazed at each other for a few moments. When the movie started, I kept my eyes trained on the screen, but my mind was too foggy to actually pay attention. My thoughts were ping-ponging back and forth between Eros and Trevon.
About halfway through the movie, I finally gazed over at him. I had the sudden urge to ask him about last night, to have all of my questions answered about what he had meant, to really talk to him for once—instead of some not-so-innocent flirting.
Maria made a soft noise from the couch. I gazed over at her and Javier and wrinkled my nose, trying to ignore whatever was happening under their blanket.
Eros cleared his throat. She stopped and giggled awkwardly, her cheeks tinting pink. “I’m going to go get some more popcorn in the kitchen.”
Javier wrapped his arm around her shoulder and leaned in closer to her. “Babe, stay here.” His hand slipped under the blanket, and she giggled again.
Oh, God. They were actually doing this right here, weren’t they?
I jumped out of my seat and grabbed the empty popcorn bowl. “I’ll go get it.” I needed to get out of here because, if I wasn’t careful, I would be next. Sitting in Eros’s lap, his fingers slipping into my pants, touching me in all the places I’d only ever dreamed of, the sweet scent of cinnamon keeping me in a complete daze.
When I reached the kitchen, I placed the bowl on the counter and took a deep breath. I couldn’t wait until this movie was over. I’d sneak back into my room and take a nice long nap—away from all of my problems with Trevon, away from all the nasty things Javier and Maria were doing, away from Eros.
Unless he haunted my dreams again. Then I’d be fucked.
My cheeks warmed. Figuratively and literally—in my dreams, of course.
“Let me help you,” Eros said from behind me. I sucked in a slight breath and fumbled with the bag of popcorn, listening to his footsteps. Closer and closer. Each step he took was dreadfully slow. It always was.
Calm, Dani. Stay calm.
One more step, and I felt the heat from his body against my backside. His fingers pushing my hair to the side. His breath on my neck.
Damn it.
I gulped and opened the microwave a little too forcefully, making the bowl slip off the side of the counter. Eros grabbed it before it fell and chuckled lowly. “Do I make you nervous, Dani?”
Trevon, Dani. Think of Trevon. The man you’re going to give another chance to. The man who was holding you in his arms, just a couple nights ago—before the big fight. The man you spent five years of your life on.
“No.” I lied. “You don’t.” I turned around to face him, chest against his, back against the counter. “You make me angry.”
Angry that I couldn’t control myself around him.
He tilted his head, inching closer to me. “And?”
“Frustrated.”
His lips twitched, and he moved even closer. His fingers curled around my waist. “And?”
“Anxious.”
His nose grazed against mine, breath on my lips. I wanted him closer. “How else?” he asked.
I gazed into his eyes, searching those deep greens. They were endless orbs that I never wanted to stop staring into. I could look at them for days, weeks, months, even years and never get tired.
“And, content,” I whispered.
He gently grasped the sides of my face, his thumbs grazing against my lips. “I want to kiss you.”
And I would’ve been lying if I said that I didn’t want him to.
Chapter 13
For the second time in the past twenty-four hours, my lips were inches from his. I could practically feel them against mine—moving so slowly at first until we both couldn’t handle it anymore and were devouring each other.
I curled my fingers into his chest and shut my eyes, wanting nothing more than to close the distance between us. He pulled me an inch closer, his cinnamon breath making my lips tingle. God, I had never wanted anyone more than him.
Someone knocked on the door. “Dani,” Trevon said. “It’s me.”
I dropped my head, resting my forehead against Eros’s. For a moment, I enjoyed being this close to him. His fingers tickling my skin. The light hum of his breathing.
Trevon knocked again. I sighed, reluctantly leaving Eros standing alone in the kitchen, and walked to the door. Tell him what you need to tell him and send him on his way. Don’t take his bullshit, Dani. I grasped the handle and opened the door.
He stood there in his blue baseball cap, hands stuffed into his pockets. “I didn’t think you’d answer.”
“I shouldn’t have,” I said.
After he stepped into the apartment, Maria and Javier glanced over. Maria wrinkled her nose at him and turned back to the TV, muttering something under her breath to Javier. Javier chuckled lowly.
