The Perfect Holiday, page 29
“Hello. Have you been awake long?” she asked softly.
“About an hour. What about you?”
“Just a few minutes.” She moved deeper into the room. “Is something troubling you, Seth? You had a strange look just now. I don’t exactly know how to describe it…sadness, maybe?”
His hand reached for hers. “It’s nothing, my love.”
She felt his forehead, checking for fever, but it was cool, and she smiled contentedly. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starved. I think I’ll see what I can dig up in the kitchen.”
He nodded absently.
As she left the room, she couldn’t help glancing over her shoulder. Her instincts told her that something wasn’t right. But what?
A freshly baked pie was sitting in the middle of the kitchen table, and she glanced at it curiously. When had that appeared? She shrugged and opened the refrigerator. Maybe Seth had some eggs and she could make an omelette. There weren’t any eggs, but a gelatin salad sat prominently on the top shelf. Something was definitely going on here. When she turned around, she noticed that the oven light was on, and a quick look through the glass door showed a casserole dish warming. Someone had been to the house when she’d been asleep and brought an entire meal. How thoughtful.
“You didn’t tell me you had company,” she said a little while later as she carried a tray into the bedroom for him.
He was sitting on the edge of the mattress, and she could see him clench his teeth as he attempted to stand.
“Seth, don’t!” she cried and quickly set the tray down to hurry to his side. “You shouldn’t be out of bed.”
He sank back onto the mattress and closed his eyes to mask a resurgence of pain. “You know, I think you’re right about that.”
“Here, let me help you.” With an arm around his shoulders, she gently lifted the injured leg and propped it on top of a thick pillow. When she’d finished, she turned to him and smiled. She couldn’t hide the soft glow that warmed her eyes as she looked at this man she loved.
Sitting up, his back supported by pillows, he held his arms out to her and drew her into his embrace. His mouth sought hers, and the kisses spoke more of passion than gentleness. But she didn’t care. She returned his kisses, linking her hands around his neck, her fingers exploring the black hair at the base of his head. His hands moved intimately over her back as if he couldn’t get enough of her.
“I think your recovery will impress Dr. Coleman, especially if he could see us now,” she teased and tried to laugh. But her husky tone betrayed the extent of her arousal. When Seth kissed her again, hard and long, she offered no resistance.
Crushed in his embrace, held immobile by the steel band of his arm encircling her waist, she submitted happily to the mastery of his kisses.
When they took a break to breathe, she smiled happily into his gleaming eyes. “There are only a few more days before Thanksgiving,” she murmured, and kissed him. “I have so much to thank God for this year—more happiness than one woman was ever meant to have. I had hoped when I first came that we might be married Thanksgiving week. It seemed fitting somehow.” She relaxed as she realized that she truly had no more doubts. She was utterly his.
Although Seth continued to hold her, she felt again the stirring sense of something amiss. When she leaned her head back to glance at him, she saw that his look was distant, preoccupied.
“Seth, is something wrong?” she asked, worried.
A smile of reassurance curved his lips, but she noticed that it didn’t reach his eyes. “Everything’s fine.”
“Are you hungry?”
He nodded and straightened so that she could bring him the tray. “You know me. I’m always hungry.”
But he hardly touched his meal.
She brought him a cup of coffee after taking away the dinner tray, then sat in the chair beside the bed, her hands cupping her own hot mug.
“If you don’t object, I’d like Pastor Reeder to marry us,” she said, and took a sip of coffee.
“You know Paul Reeder?” He looked over at her curiously.
She nodded. “I’m very grateful for his friendship. He’s the one who introduced me to Jim Coleman. He also rented me an apartment the church owns—honey bucket and all,” she said with a smile. “I’m going to like Nome. There are some wonderful people here, and that very definitely includes Pastor Reeder.”
“Paul’s the one who talked to me about Christ and salvation. I respect him greatly.”
“I suspected as much.” She recalled Seth telling her about the pastor who had led him to Christ. From the first day she had suspected it was Pastor Reeder. “Jim needed help with an emergency, so I didn’t get to church last Sunday to hear him preach, but I bet he packs a powerful sermon.”
“He does,” Seth said, and looked away.
Claudia’s gaze followed his, and she realized that Jim Coleman had let himself into the house. The two men eyed each other, and an icy stillness seemed to fill the room. She looked from one man to the other and lightly shook her head, sure she was imagining things.
“I think you’ll be impressed with how well Seth is doing,” she said, and moved aside so Jim could examine the wound himself.
Neither man spoke, and the tension in the room was so thick that she found herself stiffening. Something was wrong between these two, very wrong.
Claudia walked Jim to the front door when he was done with the exam. Again he praised her efforts. “He might have lost that leg if it hadn’t been for you.”
“I was glad to help,” she said, studying him. “But I feel God had more to do with the improvement than I did.”
“That could be.” He shrugged and expelled a long, tired sigh. “He should be okay by himself tonight if you want to go home and get a good night’s sleep.”
“I might,” she responded noncommittally.
He nodded and turned to leave. She stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Jim, something’s going on between you and Seth, isn’t it?”
“Did he tell you that?”
“No.”
“Then ask him,” he said, casting a wary glance in the direction of Seth’s bedroom.
“I will,” she replied, determined to do just that.
Seth’s eyes were closed when she returned to his room, but she wasn’t fooled. “Don’t you like Jim Coleman?” she asked right out.
“He’s a fine Christian man. There aren’t many doctors as dedicated as he is.”
“But you don’t like him, do you?”
Seth closed his eyes again and let out a sharp breath. “I don’t think it’s a question of how I feel. Jim doesn’t like me, and at the moment I can’t blame him,” he responded cryptically.
She didn’t know what to say. It was obvious Seth didn’t want to talk about it, and she didn’t feel she should pry. It hurt a little, though, that he wouldn’t confide in her. There wasn’t anything she would ever keep from him. But she couldn’t and wouldn’t force him to talk, not if he wasn’t ready. She left him to rest and went into the kitchen to clean up.
An hour later she checked on him and saw that he appeared to be asleep. Leaning down, she kissed his brow. She was undecided about spending another night. A hot shower and a fresh change of clothes sounded tempting.
“Seth,” she whispered, and he stirred. “I’m going home for the night. I’ll see you early tomorrow morning.”
“No.” He sat up and winced, apparently having forgotten about his leg in his eagerness to stop her. “Don’t go, Red. Stay tonight. You can leave in the morning if you want.” He reached for her, holding her so tight she ached.
“Okay, my love,” she whispered tenderly. “Just call if you need me.”
“I’ll need you all my life. Don’t ever forget that, Red.”
He sounded so worried that she frowned, drawing her delicate brows together. “I won’t forget.”
* * *
—
Claudia woke before Seth the next morning. She was in the kitchen putting on a pot of coffee when she heard a car pull up outside the kitchen door.
Barbara Reeder slammed the car door closed and waved. Claudia returned the wave and opened the door for her friend.
“You’re out bright and early this morning,” Claudia said cheerfully. “I just put on coffee.”
“Morning.” Barbara returned the smile. “How’s the patient?”
“Great. It’s amazing how much better he is after just two days.”
“I was sorry to miss you yesterday.” Barbara pulled out a chair and set her purse on the table while she unbuttoned her parka.
“Miss me?” Claudia quizzed.
“Yes, I brought dinner by, but you were in the bedroom sound asleep. From what I understand, you were up all night. You must have been exhausted. I didn’t want to wake you, so I just waved at your patient, left the meal and headed out.”
“Funny Seth didn’t say anything,” Claudia said, speaking her thoughts out loud.
Barbara’s look showed mild surprise. “Honestly, that man! You’d think it was top secret or something.” Happiness gleamed in her eyes, and she held out her left hand so Claudia could admire the sparkling diamond. “Teddy and I are going to be married next month.”
“Teddy?” Claudia repeated. She felt as if someone had kicked her in the stomach. Seth hadn’t been lying after all. There really was another woman. Somehow she managed to conceal her shock.
“It’s confusing, I know,” Barbara responded with a happy laugh. “But Seth has always reminded me of a teddy bear. He’s so big and cuddly, it seemed natural to call him Teddy.”
Claudia’s hand shook as she poured coffee into two mugs. Barbara continued to chat excitedly about her wedding plans, explaining that they hoped to have the wedding before Christmas.
Strangely, after that first shock Claudia felt no emotion. She sipped her coffee, adding little to the conversation.
Barbara didn’t seem to notice. “Teddy changed after John’s death,” she said, and blew on her coffee to cool it.
“John,” Claudia repeated. Seth had called out that name several times while his fever was raging.
“John was his younger brother, his partner in Arctic Barge. There was some kind of accident on a barge—I’m not sure I ever got the story straight. Seth was with him when it happened. Something fell on top of him and ruptured his heart. He died in Seth’s arms.”
Claudia stared into her coffee. From that first day when she’d walked into his room at the Wilderness Motel, she’d known there was a terrible sadness in Seth’s life. She’d felt it even then. But he had never shared his grief with her. As much as he professed to love her and want her for his wife, he hadn’t shared the deepest part of himself. Knowing this hurt as much as his engagement to Barbara.
“Could I ask a favor of you?” Claudia said and stood, placing her mug in the kitchen sink. “Would you mind dropping me off at my apartment? I don’t want to take Seth’s car, since I don’t know when I’ll be back. It should only take a minute.”
“Of course. Then I’ll come back and surprise Seth with breakfast.”
He would be amazed all right, Claudia couldn’t help musing.
She managed to maintain a fragile poise until Barbara dropped her off. Waving her thanks, she entered her tiny home. She looked around the room that had so quickly become her own and bit the inside of her cheek. With purposeful strides she opened the lone closet and pulled out her suitcases. She folded each garment with unhurried care and placed it neatly inside the luggage.
Someone knocked at the door, but she obstinately ignored the repeated rapping.
“Open up, Claudia, I know you’re in there. I saw Barbara drop you off.” It was Jim Coleman.
“Go away!” she called, and her voice cracked. A tear squeezed free, despite her determination not to cry, and she angrily wiped it away with the back of her hand.
Ignoring her lack of an invitation, Jim pushed open the door and stepped inside the room.
“I like the way people respect my privacy around here,” she bit out sarcastically, wondering how she could have been foolish enough to leave her door unlocked. “I don’t feel up to company at the moment, Jim. Another time, maybe.” She turned away and continued packing.
“I want you to listen to me for a minute.” Clearly he was angry.
“No, I won’t listen. Not to anyone. Go away, just go away.” She pulled a drawer from the dresser and flipped it over, emptying the contents into the last suitcase.
“Will you stop acting like a lunatic and listen? You can’t leave now.”
She whirled around and placed both hands challengingly on her hips. “Can’t leave? You just watch me. I don’t care where the next plane’s going, I’ll be on it,” she shot back, then choked on a sob.
He took her in his arms. She struggled at first, but he deflected her hands and held her gently. “Let it out,” he whispered soothingly.
Again she tried to jerk away, but, undeterred, he held her fast, murmuring comforting words.
“You knew all along, didn’t you?” she asked accusingly, raising hurt, questioning eyes to search his face.
He arched one brow and shrugged his shoulders. “About Barbara and Seth? Of course. But about you and Seth? How could I? But then I saw the two of you, and no one could look at you without knowing you’re in love. I was on my way to his house this morning when I saw Barbara with you. Something about your expression told me you must have found out the truth. Did you say anything to her?”
Claudia shook her head. “No. I couldn’t. But why does it have to be Barbara?” she asked unreasonably. “Why couldn’t it be some anonymous woman I could feel free to hate? But she’s bright and cheerful, fun to be around. She’s my friend. And she’s so in love with him. You should have heard her talk about the wedding.”
“I have,” he stated, and rammed his hands into his pockets. He walked to the other side of the couch that served as her bed.
“I’m not going to burst that bubble of happiness. I don’t think Seth knows what he wants. He’s confused and unsure. The only thing I can do is leave.”
Jim turned and regarded her steadily. “You can’t go now. You don’t seem to understand what having you in Nome means to me, to all of us. When Pastor Reeder said you were God’s Thanksgiving gift to us, he wasn’t kidding. I’ve been praying for someone like you for months.” He heaved a sigh, his eyes pleading with her. “For the first time in weeks I’ve been able to do some of the paperwork that’s cluttering my desk. And I was planning to take a day off next week, the first one in three months.”
“But you don’t know what you’re asking.”
“I do. Listen, if it will make things easier, I could marry you.”
The proposal was issued sincerely, and his gaze didn’t waver as he waited for her reaction.
She smiled “Now you’re being ridiculous.”
His taut features relaxed, and she laughed outright at how relieved he looked.
“Will you stay a bit longer, at least until someone answers our advertisement in the medical journals? Two or three months at the most.”
Gesturing weakly with one hand, Claudia nodded. She was in an impossible position. She couldn’t stay, and she couldn’t leave. And there was still Seth to face.
Jim sighed gratefully. “Thank you. I promise you won’t regret it.” He glanced at his watch. “I’m going to talk to Seth. Something’s got to be done.”
She walked him to the door, then asked the question his proposal had raised in her mind. “Why haven’t you ever married?”
“Too busy in med school,” he explained. “And since I’ve been here, there hasn’t been time to date the woman I wanted.” He pulled his car keys from his pocket.
There was something strange about the way he spoke, or maybe it was the look in his eyes. Suddenly it all came together for her. She stopped him by placing a hand on his arm. “You’re in love with Barbara, aren’t you?” If she hadn’t been caught up in her own problems, she would have realized it long ago. Whenever Jim talked about Barbara there was a softness in his voice that spoke volumes.
He began to deny his feelings, then seemed to notice the knowing look in Claudia’s blue eyes. “A lot of good it’s done me.” His shoulders slumped forward in defeat. “I’m nothing more than a family friend to her. Barbara’s been in love with Seth for so long, she doesn’t even know I’m around. And with the hours I’m forced to work, there hasn’t been time to let her know how I feel.”
“Does Seth love her?” Pride demanded that she hold her chin high.
“I don’t know. But he must feel genuine affection for her or he wouldn’t have proposed.”
Both of them turned suddenly introspective, unable to find the words to comfort each other. He left a minute later, and she stood at the window watching him go.
She walked over to her suitcases and began to unpack. As she replaced each item in the closet or the drawers, she tried to pray. God had brought her to Nome. She had come believing she would marry Seth. Did He have other plans for her now that she was here? How could she bear to live in the same city as Seth when she loved him so completely? How could she bear seeing him married to another?
No sooner had the last suitcase been tucked away than there was another knock at the door.
Barbara’s cheerful smile greeted her as she stuck her head in the front door. “Are you busy?”
Claudia was grateful that she had her back turned as she felt tears come into her eyes. Barbara was the last person she wanted to see. It would almost be preferable to face Seth. Inwardly she groaned as she turned, forcing a smile onto her frozen lips.
“Sure, come in.”
