Good Girl : An Enemies-to-Lovers, Roommate Romance (Alphahole Roommates Book 2), page 26
“Austin, my getting involved could create harmony for everyone involved. I’m being pragmatic.”
Roger is a CEO of a publicly traded company. Not long ago he was getting ready to run for office. He changed plans but he still wouldn’t want bad publicity.
“Everyone but me,” I say. “I’m the one who was wronged here, Mother. Well, me and Suzette, I guess. She has a shark lawyer though, so I guess she’ll be all right.”
She sighs. “I want peace for you, for Roger to be able to sleep at night so he’s not worried about his daughter, and yes, it’d be nice to have Suzette back down on some of her demands. The sooner they divorce, the sooner he and I can get on with our lives. And if there’s a child here, Austin -”
“Don’t even go there right now,” I warn.
She clamps her mouth shut but her expression says what I already know. If there is a kid, it’ll be here eventually. Right now, it doesn’t feel real to me.
“So Roger and Suzette are divorcing. Are you planning to start the divorce proceedings against Dad?” I ask.
“I did. He was served with papers the other day.”
“The other day?” I check.
She smooths her hair away again. It’s one of her tells.
“Before this latest heart attack?” My eyes are wide.
She looks away. Wow. No wonder he had a heart attack.
“You caused his heart attack.”
“Oh please. Screwing his secretary and getting walked in on by a staff member caused his heart attack, I didn’t.”
I don’t bother to tell her that I know Dad was already having the heart attack while Ally was coming in, that Ally went in hearing the commotion.
“Stress from getting served papers probably contributed to it, though. Good goin’, Audra, putting him under stress when he’s already spent the last six months losing his marriage and fighting Cancer.”
She rolls her eyes at me. “Give me a break. Your father is no wilting violet. And this was inevitable. We’re separated. We’re both involved with other people. Stop making me the villain. I married a workaholic who expected me to be at his beck and call while managing everything in his personal life, the lives of his precious children, and cared nothing for what I wanted in life. Our marriage made me miserable and a person can only tolerate a celibate life of neglect for so long before she tries to reach for a little bit of happiness.”
“This is pointless,” I say.
We’re at a silent staring standoff for a long beat before she sighs.
“Let’s try this again. What can I do? What can I do to make this situation better for you? Just as your mother, how can I help?”
I blink in surprise. If only that were her real intention.
Fuck it. I might as well pretend it is.
“Get her to prove she’s actually pregnant and I want a paternity test as soon as it can be done.”
“If so, will you drop the charges?”
“That sounds more like it’s for her than for me. You’re not very good at this game.”
“Son, if there’s a child involved, it would be the best thing for everyone.”
“I’m not prepared to negotiate right now without the facts.”
“But you’ll consider it?”
“Let’s get answers first,” I say.
“I just want peace between all of us, Austin. If –”
“Go home, Audra.”
“Do not do that to me,” she snaps, “Aiden’s done it for years, but I’ve never had this disrespect from you.”
“You’ve earned it,” I say. “Get yourself to an AA meeting and get back on the wagon or you’re gonna fuck something else up.”
“I’ll need to stay; fly back tomorrow.”
“You’re not staying here tonight. Jada has the guest room and I just got back. I’m not sleepin’ on the sofa tonight.”
“But you’ll sleep on the sofa for Adele when she does a surprise visit,” she mumbles.
“I’m pissed; I need space, Mom. And you’re not here to hang out with me and cheer me up because I’ve been having a shitty time. You’re here to lay on the guilt and strongarm me. It’s not late for you - you’re on San Diego time. No reason you can’t take a cab to the nearest luxury hotel. Just try to stay out of the minibar.”
She looks wounded. She’s good at painting her face with that expression. Her eyes fill with tears.
Here we fucking go. Women turning on the waterworks to make me feel like shit.
“I’m trying to help,” she insists. “I know what it’s like to deal with animosity from my children because of the choices I’ve made, son. Do you want to have to explain to your child in eighteen years or less why you couldn’t find it within yourself to drop charges against their mother, so they didn’t have to have the name of a prison as their place of birth?”
“The doorman will get you a cab.”
She waits a long moment, looking at me. I say nothing.
“I’ll just get on the phone and book something first,” she finally says.
I thrust my hand through my hair and go to the bathroom, slamming the door.
35
Jada
“Nope, I’m sorry, New York pizza is far superior to Buffalo pizza,” I declare. “It’s New York pizza everyone raves about. Buffalo is all about chicken wings, isn’t it?”
Andrew laughs. “Not so. We need to do a taste test. You won’t say that if you actually taste a Buffalo style pizza.”
“My friend is from Buffalo, too,” I remark, lifting my pastrami on rye. “Carly Adler. Well, Carmichael, now. It’s her husband’s apartment I’m working in actually. Austin’s brother.”
He swallows his bite of sandwich and sips his coffee.
“Oh yeah, I’m sure I know her. Buffalo is such a small town.” He rolls his eyes.
I laugh. “How big is it?”
“That’s what she said,” he retorts with an exaggerated wink.
But it’s good-natured, so it doesn’t come across as creepy.
I giggle. “No, really.”
“Over a quarter million.”
“Oh, okay. I thought it was smaller.” I shrug.
“Though I’m not from Buffalo, technically. I’m from Cheektowaga. It’s not far, though. Typical New Yorker,” He mutters.
I laugh. “I’m not even a New Yorker. I’m from Jersey. You’re more a New Yorker than me since you’re actually from New York state.”
“You don’t strike me as a Jersey Shore Snooky type.”
“I never said I was. In fact, I might be the anti-Snooky. See… I’m not the only one making assumptions.”
We’re both laughing when the elevator doors open and I, sitting up on Andrew’s desk (because there’s only one chair), turn to see who it is, ready to jump down so I don’t get him in trouble. This building has some older people, some young and hip people, and also some old New York money types of all ages. I wouldn’t want to get him in trouble for being chivalrous enough to make sure I’m not out wandering the streets after dark. Unlike some people.
It turns out it’s Mrs. Carmichael and Austin coming down and she has her luggage with her. Oh good, I guess I’m not going to be told to find somewhere else to sleep tonight. I was a little worried about that.
Austin still looks like he could, as Andrew says, “melt paint” with his expression. His mother’s expression isn’t much different.
Austin’s eyes land on me and bounce between me and Andrew and then his eyebrows furrow.
“Good evening again, Mr. Carmichael,” Andrew greets, standing up. I slide my butt off his desk and stand there, wiping my mouth with a napkin before taking a sip of my Coke.
“Could you get a cab for my mother, please?” he asks.
“Sure can.” He heads for the door.
Austin’s eyes land on me and it’s like he takes stock.
I crumple up my sandwich wrapper and throw it in the trash bin under Andrew’s desk, then grab my drink and loop my purse over my shoulder before I round the desk and head for the elevator without making eye contact with him.
Andrew’s head pops back in. “Mrs. Carmichael, got a car out here for you.”
“I’ll meet you for breakfast,” she says to Austin and tilts her head so he can kiss her cheek.
He kisses her, then he mutters, “Got work in the morning. Can’t.”
She gives him a look of disappointment and then her eyes sweep over me before she takes her wheeled suitcase from Austin’s grip and lets go of it. She points it at with her eyes on Andrew.
Andrew takes over her case for her and winks at me.
“We’ll talk about that taste test. See ya around,” he says.
“Okay. Thanks for the sandwich. And the company.”
“Thanks for helpin’ me out, too, by gettin’ it.”
“Can we go now?” Mrs. Carmichael requests, “I will need my luggage.”
“Sorry, ma’am. Right this way.” Andrew leads her toward the waiting taxi.
“It was nice to meet you,” I call out to her again and she looks at me like I’m a crazy person.
Well. Okay, then.
I press the button for the elevator and watch Andrew load Audra Carmichael’s luggage into the trunk of the car.
The elevator doors open so I get in. Austin’s got his back to me. The door is about to close, but Austin’s arm flies up and the doors stop, then open back up.
“Hold up, Jada,” Austin says.
I put my thumb on the door open button with a sigh.
He shoots me a dirty look.
Oh really?
“Hey, thanks,” he says to the returning Andrew and hands him a folded bill.
“My pleasure,” Andrew tips his hat and then leans so he can see me around Austin’s frame. “I start at six tomorrow. Come hang with me if you can.” He gives me a big smile.
I return the smile. “Thanks. I might.”
Austin gets into the elevator and spears me with a look.
I keep the smile firmly fixed on my face while I let go of the button.
And then I let my smile drop and stab the button for our floor with my thumb.
“That looked cozy,” Austin says with a sneer, his eyes pointed at the lights above the doors.
“Not cool, Carmichael,” I say, folding my arms over my chest.
“Huh?” he asks.
“Sending me out for a walk at ten o’clock at night? Where was I supposed to go? Andrew took pity on me and let me hang out with him.”
His face changes. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking. My head’s all over the fuckin’ place.”
Well… that’s a surprise. An apology. I was expecting him to castigate me for something, like giving his alcoholic of a mother a glass of wine, after that was what she asked me specifically for.
I decide to say that.
“Next time, I’ll go to my room and put my headphones on so you can have privacy. Deal? And your mother asked for wine,” I say.
“I know. Sorry.”
I scoff. “I’m not in the habit of force-feeding guests alcohol. I asked her what she wanted and-”
“I said I’m sorry, Jada, what do you want, blood?”
My mouth snaps shut, and I continue watching the elevator lights move up with our ascent.
The ding signals our arrival, and then he holds his arm across the doors, gesturing for me to cross over the threshold first. I close my eyes and take that step and then I’m at the apartment door before him.
“Did you just hold your breath and close your eyes getting out of the elevator?”
“None of your business.” I cross my arms and then remember I have a key, so I fish through my jacket pocket for it but he’s faster, so he unlocks the door first.
“Afraid of elevators, too? Like spiders and heights?”
We’re both in the apartment now so he closes the door.
“You can see… there’s a small gap getting off and you can see straight down the elevator shaft. We’re high up; I don’t like it. I close my eyes, so I won’t accidentally look and get the spins.”
He smirks. “Fraidy cat.”
“So what? Lots of things to be afraid of in life. Aren’t you afraid of anything?” I demand.
“Yeah. Lots of things,” he admits, his eyes working over my face.
“Well, goodnight,” I say and head to my room.
And I’m disappointed because he says nothing. Not goodnight, not come here and let me explain why I’m being such an alphahole jerk, not nothing.
My chest feels weighty as I close my door. Thankfully, I get behind that door before my chin trembles.
36
Austin
I lay back in bed and stare at the ceiling.
I’ve barely been able to stand being around myself since all this shit started. Walking around wanting to lash out, like I want everything around me crushed to dust so that something else rises as my new reality. And on top of that, dealing with my mother’s visit tonight. Of course Audra wants to end this crap, find herself some ‘peace’. I still can’t fathom that this bullshit is my life.
Ugliness slithers through me as I stare at the ceiling. Ugliness I don’t want in me.
A kid with Sienna Greer out of that night?
I adjust my pillow to get more comfortable and feel something underneath it. Something foreign. I pull out a scrap of fabric. I turn the bedside lamp on and look at Jada’s purple thong feeling like I’ve been slapped.
Memories sweep over me of that night with her on the phone and what I told her to do. All the shit happening, I’d forgotten I’d told her to leave this here.
All that ugliness from the day of Aiden’s wedding – other than being happy for my brother… the scene with Meryl’s boyfriend and then onwards, except for the brief reprieve – the day here that Jada and I fooled around. And the moments since then when she makes me feel alive because she dishes the attitude straight back at me. Sparring with her has helped. And knowing that she’s not like that with anyone else, that shit in her life made her react differently than the way she’d normally react – that was something, too.
We were able to relate to one another. We were able to unleash our frustrations on one another because we’re both living with unusual circumstances.
Then seeing her tonight on the security guard’s desk smiling at him, goofing off, and knowing it was because I sent her out of the way so she wouldn’t overhear my bullshit with my mother…
Not only do I feel that freshly-slapped feeling, I realize I’ve got only one thing on my mind right now.
Her.
I hated that her smile was pointed at that security guard and then melted off her face when her eyes bounced to me. And the fact that I sent her there to laugh and joke and hang out with him.
How refreshing, though.
Jealousy. Lust. That’s all I’m feeling right now, and I welcome these emotions because they’re markedly different than what I’ve been feeling for almost three weeks.
I get out of bed like a man on a mission and head across the hall to her bedroom. The door is open; she’s not in it, but I see a sliver of light coming from the bottom of the bathroom door.
She comes into the hallway, wearing a short robe, not done up, so I’ve got an eyeful of her in a tight tank top and her underwear.
She freezes when she sees me. Her eyes go round and wide.
I’m in just a pair of boxers.
She looks uncomfortable, likely with her appearance, but she’s looking me over, too as she pulls her robe closed.
“Excuse me,” she says and steps forward to head to her room. I sidestep and block her.
She sidesteps in the other direction to try to go around me, likely thinking it was a mistake, me getting in her way accidentally. It was no accident.
Her hair is loose. I can smell her face cleanser and cinnamon – I’ve seen cinnamon toothpaste in her bathroom.
She looks sexy, she smells clean and fresh.
I move with her to stop her additional attempt to get around me and block her way with my hand against the wall. I’ve got her caged and I’ve got that purple thong dangling from those fingers, so when she backs up and her back touches the wall, her eyes shoot to the scrap of fabric dangling there just above her head.
She winces. And that doesn’t feel good. That feels, to me, like remorse, like she regrets leaving those underwear there, regrets being anyway vulnerable with me.
One of my hands drops so that she doesn’t feel trapped.
She can move that way, get away from me, but she remains frozen.
“And what do you think you’re doing, Miss. Sweetheart?” I ask, glaring into her eyes.
The wince changes to wounded.
I don’t like how her expression feels in my gut.
I lean in and put my lips to her ear. “I can’t explain to you how shit my life is right now, how much fucking crap I’m dealing with and I’m sorry it’s made me be an asshole the last few days. I need a release, Jada. An outlet for this stress.” I feel her body stiffen but she hasn’t made another move to get away from me, so I continue. “So much fuckin’ stress, baby. It’s not your job to help me with that, but take pity on an asshole.”
She bites her lip and she’s not moving away so I continue.
“Do you wanna fight with me or do you want that other outlet we discovered? Because I know which one I want but I’ll settle for the other if I absolutely have to.”
I’m hoping she picks the outlet I want. I need it. It feels like it’s the only thing that’ll feel right to me right now. And if she starts dishing out her shit, I’ll probably just stand here and take it. Because it feels like I have no fight in me right now.
She’s silent. I’m leaned in but her chin is pointed down so I can’t see her expression. I wait, my lips at her earlobe. I listen to her breathe. Her breathing sounds labored. I inhale, fill my lungs with Jada. As I release the breath, I whisper, “You smell good.”
She’s still but I swear her breathing has changed again.
“Want me to go away? Or you want me to take you to bed? How about we go forget all our troubles for a while?”
I back up and assess her face.
She’s staring into space. She’s sucking on her bottom lip. Her palms are planted against the wall on either side of her thighs.
