Good Girl : An Enemies-to-Lovers, Roommate Romance (Alphahole Roommates Book 2), page 41
I’m shocked at the turnout. Particularly people who don’t even know me or Shane.
Sedgewick gets close to me and gives me a hug. “You okay?” he asks.
I nod.
Austin moves in and gets proprietary, putting his arm around me.
Sedgewick grins at me and jerks his thumb at Austin. “Staking his claim? I respect that.”
“Thanks for coming,” Austin says.
I look up at him and his eyes are on Sedgewick but he’s not being an asshole, just being Austin, I guess.
The chapel at the funeral home is nearly full as we take our seats.
I have Austin on my left, Shane on my right.
“Thanks for the suit,” Shane says softly. “You got nice taste in threads. And … for taking care of my sister.”
“My pleasure, man,” Austin replies.
“And for the help with my lawyer and my doctor,” Shane says softly. “You don’t know me, but I won’t make you regret that.”
“It’s my pleasure,” Austin repeats. “I did that knowing Jada. That was enough. For real.”
Shane holds his hand out and shakes Austin’s hand.
My chin trembles as I stare at my father’s urn. My eyes go blurry as they fill with tears.
And then, just before things get started, I hear the hum of activity and look over my shoulder and see Adele, Carly, and Aiden come in with another man and three women. I’m not sure who the rest of them are, but Carly blows a kiss and I smile. Austin’s arm goes around me. Shane takes my right hand. I hold on.
“Did you know they were coming?” I ask.
“Yeah. My father and his girlfriend plus Carly’s mom and aunt are also here.”
I’m surprised.
“Why?” I whisper.
He smiles.
“Maybe they thought you wouldn’t have a big turnout. But the turnout is a good one, isn’t it?” Shane puts in.
That’s so kind of these people.
“Your father?” I whisper to Austin.
He squeezes my hand and kisses my temple.
“He’s gonna love you.”
And my lungs start burning.
For Austin to tell his father, does that mean what it sounds like? I’m not sure I have the ability to process that. But I don’t get much of a chance to think on it because the doors close and the screen behind the podium starts showing images of landscapes. Of sky. Of water and mountains. My father’s name and date of birth scroll across the screen. The funeral director walks up to the front and tells us all we’re going to get started.
I start to tremble, but can’t contain all my emotion, so it rains from my eyes.
Austin pulls me closer. Shane squeezes my hand tighter. And I don’t have to endure it all alone.
***
The service is standard, with a few prayers and some kind words of comfort by the reverend. And then Doc and another man who introduced himself as Walter, a coworker of my father’s who said he was a fellow classic car enthusiast get up together.
Doc talks about my Dad being generous, always donating to worthy causes the bar champions, how he has always been there to buy a round or lend an ear to a buddy with a problem.
Shane and I exchange looks briefly at that.
The bar was obviously Dad’s happy place. It wasn’t our house, that’s for sure, and I can’t help but feel bitterness about that.
Walter talks about Dad’s love for cars, his love for his kids, (gesturing to us) how great an asset he was to the company softball team, and Shane and I sit with perfect poker faces. And then Walter chokes up and says their classic car enthusiast club won’t be the same without him and neither would the lunchroom on Fridays at work because “Rich brings donuts for the whole team every week.” Walter says the break room at the factory is getting a plaque with my father’s photo on it before he sits down.
Shane and I get up then and Shane does the talking, holding me close to his side.
“Thank you on behalf of me and my sister, Jada, from the bottom of our hearts for coming today. It’s very sad that our father’s life was cut short. That he won’t be around to someday become a grandfather, to walk my sister down the aisle. His job and his friends meant a lot to him. In fact, he left wishes that you all head to He Ain’t Here for a drink after the service, a drink on him this afternoon. I hope you’ll do that. Thanks, again.”
We’re dismissed, so Shane and I walk out together, arm in arm. Austin walks behind me.
I tell him I hate that he has to go back so soon.
“Doesn’t matter,” he says, and hugs me goodbye in the lobby. “You and me will have a drink together later. Maybe some virgin pina coladas and then we’ll go for a spin in the Mustang.”
“Sounds good,” I whisper. “He wants us to scatter his and Mom’s ashes together at a lake we used to go to when we were small. Do you know which lake that was?”
He shakes his head. “Not a clue. I remember us going to a lake though. Check the photo albums. Mom always wrote stuff on the back of pictures she’d put in there.”
“I’ll do that,” I say.
I hug Shane goodbye, telling him I’ll visit in a few days and bring him some more clothes. I ask if he can have any other comforts and he tells me he’ll find out.
I say goodbye and express my thanks to Dr. Lexington, who stands on the sideline talking with Adele and Carly. And then I shake the plainclothes cop’s hand and thank him for coming, getting a kind smile and an offer of condolences before he and Shane head for a dark SUV at the edge of the parking lot.
Austin then approaches with his group.
“Jada, this is my father, Quentin and his … Alice.”
“My Alice,” Austin’s dad whispers into her ear and she beams a big smile and extends her hand to shake mine.
Austin’s father is tall, very CEO-looking in an expensive suit. He has salt and pepper hair and chocolate brown eyes with lots of laugh lines. They look good on him.
He takes my hand next. “So nice to meet you. Sorry we’re meeting you today.”
“Thank you for taking the time. I appreciate that. How are you feeling? Austin told me you were just in the hospital.”
“I’m doing better. Thank you for asking. I’m so very sorry about your loss.”
Alice is a well-dressed curly-haired redhead who reminds me a little of Stevie Nicks. She has an accent. I’m not sure if it’s English or Scottish but it’s from somewhere in that direction.
Carly pulls me into a hug. “It was a nice service.”
“Thank you for coming. I can’t believe you guys did that. I’m so touched.”
“Of course I came. This is my mom, Charlene, and my aunt, Susan.” Carly presents me to her mom and aunt who look like older versions of her.
“Hey Austin. How are you, handsome?” Charlene asks, hugging him, and then reaches for my hand. “Very sorry for your loss.”
Carly’s aunt greets me similarly and then Adele hugs me for a long time. “I’m so sorry, honey,” she says, patting my back.
“I can’t believe you guys came all this way. You shouldn’t have done that,” I whisper.
“Of course we did,” she says.
I look at Austin. He’s looking down at me with a look in his eyes that startles me.
“Ready?” he asks. “Or you want more time in that chapel before we go?”
“Let’s go,” I say. I’d been thinking, ‘Let’s get this over with’ up until this morning, but seeing all these people here, either for my dad or in some cases, for me, it has me emotional, but in a way that feels weird, yet not unwelcome.
Austin has been my shadow the past few days. Always here. Always doing things for me. Holding me. Touching me. Never pushing me to talk or ignoring me when I start babbling.
I’ve leached a whole lot of strength from him while leaning on him the past few days. He’s been unwaveringly here for me since the minute I phoned him to tell him my father died.
Having that strength in a partner in life? I know now that what I’ve had from him is something extraordinary. And I now couldn’t settle for less from a life partner. Austin has ruined me for other men.
We’re at the bar in a matter of minutes.
“Wait.” I say as he reaches for his door handle.
He looks at me.
“Thank you.”
Surprise fires up in his eyes.
“You’ve done so much for me. I can’t…” I shake my head, hoping he can see how heartfelt this is. “can’t imagine how much worse this would have been without you. I’ve never had someone be so present for me through a crisis, through anything. You’ve been amazing.”
He lifts my hand and kisses it. “That’s gonna be your life from now on, baby. Having me wherever you need me, doing whatever I have to do to give you happiness. I want you happy more than I want anything.”
I’m floored.
“You’re not getting it so I’m gonna be firm in this and you need to hear and believe me. Okay? I’m here. You aren’t alone. You will never again have to go through anything by yourself with no idea who you can possibly call.” He grinds his teeth.
He’s angry. For me. Because I was alone?
I tilt my head and give him a sad smile. “There’s just no way that’s true. If only it was…”
His face changes. “Jada. I’m not fuckin’ around here.”
God, he’s amazing. And he’s going to feel so bad when he realizes he doesn’t really mean this.
He grabs my face and hauls my mouth to his, plundering it hungrily.
I’m in shock, I think.
“You don’t get it, sweetheart. You’re mine. I’m yours. You and me are Austin and Jada. Like there’s an Aiden and Carly. Like there’s an Adele and Dirk. We’re the real thing.”
“Austin…” God, if only this were true.
“I wasn’t gonna do this until tomorrow, but you and I need to have a good, long talk. We’ll stay here for an hour tops and then we’re going to go and do that.”
I open my mouth to speak but he hushes it with another kiss and then, in a daze, I follow him inside to the reception.
***
There’s a lovely luncheon set out with sandwiches, finger foods, Doc’s famous chili, and coffee and tea as well as a five-hundred-dollar bar tab open for drinks on Rich Miller. There’s a wall set up with photos people have shared of various times here in this bar with Dad and his friends. Pictures of him laughing, pictures of him holding Doc in a headlock. A picture of my dad and a pretty waitress, I’m guessing by her apron, in a clinch. That one shocks me. Dad never brought women home. Did he ever date anybody? There are even two photos of him at his job and about six of my dad with his red muscle car.
And Austin makes sure I’m good. He steers conversations when I go quiet with people. He subtly prompts me when I trail off during a conversation. He’s kind to the staff and the people who stop by to offer condolences and say their goodbyes to us as they head out.
Andrew seems resolved that Austin has moved in on me. He’s been good-natured and there hasn’t been any noticeable friction between him and Austin today. He stands there chatting with Raven most of the time we’re here.
My cousin Darlene approves of Austin. She keeps giving me open-mouth expressions whenever he turns his back. She also flirts with Andrew at one point.
Austin strikes up a conversation with Darlene and her mother while I’m talking to Erin, another girl from my writing class, and Darlene looks at me, leans over and stage-whispers, “If you weren’t blood I would steal him from you. My God, Jada!”
We stay an hour and forty-five minutes before Austin abruptly stands and announces that we are leaving, that I’d had a long day and he wanted me to get time to unwind.
It takes ten minutes to say goodbyes including my heartfelt thanks to Frank, Walter, and Doc. Frank invites me to stop in anytime. And then Austin asks me if I want to stop by the house. I tell him I want to go back to the condo today. I’ll deal with the house later. The Carmichael family leaves. I’m again astounded they flew in for just a few hours, driving for several in the case of Carly’s mom and aunt.
When we get back to the condo, Austin goes to the kitchen and pours me a glass of wine and gets himself a beer.
I kick my heels off and take my mom’s hoop earrings out, then curl up on the couch, pulling my feet under myself. The hat box of her jewelry sits on the coffee table. Some of it is gold or silver, but a lot of it is costume jewelry, some of it really ostentatious. I plan to put most of it away for someday when I hopefully have a daughter, for dress-up time. I took out these earrings and a necklace for today. I stare at it with sadness.
He sits beside me and wraps an arm around me.
“You okay?” he asks.
I nod. “It’s still surreal. But… I’m not sure I’m okay, though I’m hangin’ in there.”
He caresses the back of my neck with his fingertips and then uses his grip to pull my mouth in toward his.
He kisses me soft. Sweet. And then he bites his lip as his head moves back and he studies my face.
“I was a real dick to you when I got here.”
“I remember,” I whisper. “In your defense, I didn’t make my best first impression.”
“In my defense,” I just got puked on after walking multiple blocks because the cab I was in was t-boned.”
“Oh. Yikes.”
“Yeah, prior to that I flew here from my brother’s wedding. And I hated this city, didn’t wanna come in the first place.”
“That sucks,” I say and reach for my wine.
“On top of that, I woke up in bed with my brother’s ex that morning.”
I puff up my cheeks, then blow out a slow breath before I gulp back a big sip.
“Here we go. You ready for this?” he asks.
I shrug. “I don’t know. I’ve been in the dark for a bit.”
“I didn’t wanna live in the place I was at in my head. The last thing I needed to do was drag you in there, too, especially not knowing how it was gonna go. I still don’t know.”
“I’m confused,” I say.
“I know. And I’m sorry I’ve been so tight-lipped about why I’ve been a dick.”
I shrug.
“But playing games with you let me be someone else. And it helped. And it did something else.”
“What?”
“It let me see into your head.”
“You got to play a game where you were bossy and got your way? Who wouldn’t want that?” I snicker.
He smiles.
“Play a game with me. A game where you pretend you’re not mad at me for being an insensitive, self-absorbed asshole. “
“I’m not mad,” I say. “I’m just…” I shrug.
“Afraid it’s not real?”
I nod. “It’s not that I think you’re lying to me. I’m worried you’re lying to yourself.”
“I’m not,” he assures. “Wanna play a game?”
“What kind of game?” I ask.
“A game where you trust that we’re not temporary. Where you stop worrying I’m about to disappear.”
“That sounds fun. And unrealistic,” I say softly and regret it as soon as I do.
“What about a game where maybe you come with me to California when I’m done here and find out what ocean air tastes like?”
“Don’t toy with me,” I warn.
He leans closer and kisses my neck. “A game where we go to the beach and then taste the saltwater on one another’s lips.” He kisses my mouth.
“That could be fun.”
“A game where you get a peek into my mind and see all the sexual things I want?”
“Now you’re talking,” I say and sip my wine again.
“A game where you keep on writing down the things you want me to do to you and I’ll keep reading them and we can keep acting them out but where we also build a life together?”
“What about a game where you tell me what’s going on with you, what’s really going on?” I try.
“Jada,” he whispers.
I smile sadly. There’s so much pain in his eyes right now. I touch his cheek.
And my name on his lips… in this tone, I think I’d agree to just about anything. And that’s kind of dangerous. Because if he looks at me like that and tells me in that soft voice that he wants to fuck me against the window seventy five floors up, I’ll do it even though it’s terrifying. I’ll do it even if he tells me he’ll do it before he leaves and never sees me again.
“I was holding back. Then I didn’t want to hold back anymore and I’ve been waiting for my moment,” he says.
I put my wine down, lean back, and wait.
“Sienna showed up in St. Kitts to break up my brother’s wedding. She failed and wound up giving me a date rape drug.”
I physically jolt. Hard.
“I’ve known that girl since I was eleven years old. Figured she and Aiden would get married, we’d be family. But she wasn’t someone I’d ever have fucked voluntarily. She drugged me, took me upstairs to my hotel room, managed to have sex with me while I was three quarters unconscious, and did so knowing she wasn’t on the pill.”
I close my eyes as his words wash through me.
“To fucking stick it to my family. Her father and my mother are together, divorcing their spouses to be together so she’s pissed at my mom. Aiden marries someone else so she’s pissed at him. I’m the one that wanders into the bar and gets roofied.”
“Oh my God.”
“I take some blood tests to prove I’m drugged because my mother and brother are let in by her and look at me like I’m a piece of shit at the point I wake up, still dopey and not knowing what the fuck happened. I leave a few hours later and come home and meet you while your brother is having a party.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. It’s probably not even worth it to mention at the wedding I got into a fist fight with the fiancé of a sort-of ex.”
“Ouch. That explains the black eye.”
“Yeah. I get here and get the test results and Carly, still in St. Kitts, gets hotel security footage showing some damning footage of her. I have Sienna arrested. I’ve been livid. Absolutely out of my mind livid that she did that to me and that everywhere I turn and tell this embarrassing story to - people try to talk me into dropping the charges. Reverse chauvinism is alive and thriving in my circles.”
