Tailspin, page 60
Silao squeezed my shoulder and when I slipped away from the connection, I looked behind at him and understood so much more.
“You did it,” he said.
“It’s like”—I panted—”it’s like a billion things all at once.”
“We’ll talk,” he said. “Close your eyes, rest.”
“You need to drink,” Alba said. “Pass him this, Silao.”
I couldn’t help but close my eyes. Hands touched mine, not really rough ones. But I felt a bottle in my hand. “You do need it, drink.”
The fluid went down well, but consciousness was slipping from me.
A bump, a warm blanket, and I was floating again, but this time I knew it wasn’t in Aug-World or any other place. The skies drifted above me. Stars, the moon.
“Is he—oh god, Jim,” Malaki cried.
“He’ll be okay,” Silao said. “Seriously.”
More softness and warmth.
Then darkness.
***
Light filtered through to me, even through the X16. You turned me off?
Kind of, he replied, and the light expanded till I could see through windows.
“Good, you’re awake,” I heard Jim say, then he shouted, “Alba!”
Footsteps and then a friendly face or two. “You hungry?”
“I’m not sure,” I said and stretched a little. “How long have I been asleep?”
“Four days,” Alba offered. “I’ll take the drip and cath—”
“Please,” I said, and closed my eyes while she fussed around my body.
“It just made it all easier,” Jim said. “Not a slight on you at all.”
“I know, I just feel I’ve gone more steps backward than I have forward lately.”
“You’ve come a hell of a lot further forward than you have backward, and don’t think anything of it,” Alba said. “You can open your eyes now. I’ll go fix you something to eat and contact your friends for you.”
“They’ve been working?”
“Yes, I think Malaki needs a few words with you as soon as she can get here, but other than that, they’ve all been doing really well.”
“I’ve missed out on so much,” I said and tried to push myself up to sit.
Jim came to my aid and helped me. “You’ve lost a fair bit more muscle, but you’ll get it back.”
I could only nod. “One day at a time, right?”
“Exactly.”
My HUD pinged, and Malaki’s number flashed. “Can I talk to her?” I asked Jim.
“Yes, of course. I’ll give you some space. Just push the button when you want. I need to get you up today, even if it’s only to the bathroom and back.”
“I will.” When he left me, I turned internally, and answered Malaki’s comms. “Hey.”
“Hey you,” she said. “You okay?”
“I think so. What’s going on?”
“I’m coming up. I’ll fill you in some more then, but we’ve some big news.”
“Tell me now so I’m not making a billion things up in my head.”
“We’ve been moved out of training.”
“Fuck,” I replied. “Why?”
“Because everyone on our team is blowing records out of the water, because they’ve studied harder and harder and they’ve never let go. They’ve proved themselves in training and out of training. We’re going to have a more permanent position, when they finally decide where. My father says at the moment they’re arguing over it, just a little.”
“That’s amazing,” I said. “All of them, us?”
“All of them, Justin and Silao, too. Everyone on his fireteam, and ours. Rusty, you’d be so proud of them. I never thought we could work together like this.”
“Neither did I,” I said and felt my heart sink.
“Don’t be upset,” Malaki said. “I’ve had Niko ride with me. He’s been a good copilot. We’ve managed without you, but by the gods, we want you back.”
“You really want me back, as broken as I am?”
“You might be broken for now, but piece by piece, we’ll put you back together.”
“A little jealous,” I admitted with a little laugh.
“So,” Maliki said. “You ready for it?”
“Bring it,” I said, excitement building inside me.
“Oh don’t you worry, I am. I’ve been running an ASaC MK4 helo with Justin, one crew. We’ve really pulled together, and bank…heck, check your bank.”
I did as she asked, checking my account. There were deposits over the last few weeks, every week, and a lot of money. “Why have I got funds?”
“You think we could leave you out?”
“I haven’t done anything,” I said, totally confused.
“Rus, you brought us together. You. Understand we could never leave you out.”
“I—I can’t, I don’t have words.”
“Oh, you haven’t heard the best yet.”
“There’s better than free money?”
“Prick.” She laughed. “When you’re back, we’ve been assigned two new helos.”
“What kind?”
My heart raced even more, and I saw Jim poke his head in.
“I’m okay,” I said. “Little excited.”
“Tell her to take it easy on you,” Jim warned.
“Take a breath,” Malaki said.
I did. I waited while I breathed, and my heart rate returned to normal. So did my breathing.
“File incoming,” Malaki added, and I saw the ping.
There was no way I could resist opening it. A helo appeared in 3D glory, but a sleeker, more heavily armed version than any I’d flown. It was glorious. I could almost feel the power of the rotors through the image.
“I’ve never seen one like it.” My voice was hushed, almost reverent. This was a majestic machine.
“They’re kitting the Black Bears out with them too,” she said. “This is a SAR 747 fresh off the production line. Much faster than the SAR 17, even if you have connected in one. You probably don’t remember, right?”
“No.” I shook my head too, then I laughed. “Some upgrade.”
I didn’t need to see her face to know she was nodding.
A pang of guilt twisted in my gut. I hated holding them back like this. “Big dangly carrot then for me to get my ass back in gear.”
“Very much so.” Her voice softened. “But I need you back either way.”
That stopped me. Was this personal? Professional? A mix of both? I decided to err on the side of caution. “Oh?”
“I miss you. Spending so much time with Justin’s been weird.”
Weird had too many possible meanings for my comfort. “In what way?”
She went quiet.
“In what way?” I asked again. I wish she would just say what she meant. No one else could get me this twisted up in my own nerves.
“I like him, like him,” she garbled her words badly. “I mean I really like him.”
“Wait,” I said, floored by her admission. “You mean you like him as more than a friend?”
I—I’ll talk to you when I see you. Be there in a few hours.”
She was gone. The space in my mind felt cold without her there.
What had Justin been doing to turn her onto liking him like that? Malaki was so focused, I… it didn’t make sense. Was he that charming on his own?
Maybe he is? Apex said. Or maybe she is?
71
Jim and that big hulking man that I’d seen around came in a while later. “I think you know Bobby. He’ll be your physical therapist.”
I stared up at him. He put down a brown leather-looking bag and crossed his arms over his chest, the thick muscles bulging under his uniform. His large head and wide, squared-off jaw had the most unlikely grin though, and he chuckled as I obviously scanned over his form. “You’re a physical therapist?”
“That I am,” Bobby said, and smiled at me.
“I thought you were—”
“What, just a porter?”
“I’m sorry,” I said, not able to look him in the eye. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Bobby gave a full-on belly chuckle. “No offense taken. I’m a big man. When there are issues and no one’s around, I’m usually first down.” Bobby leaned over and met my eyes with his soft browns. “Porters are too slow.”
I tried not to laugh with him, but he saw me. “I’m going to get you up, get you washed and into that side chair for when your friend arrives.”
“I’ll go grab a coffee with Alba,” Jim said. “I’ll be back with Malaki in a while.”
“Thanks, Jim.” I nodded at him. I knew their time was more precious than babysitting me. “How do we do this?” I asked Bobby finally able to meet his eyes and worrying for the next few hours of pain.
Bobby rubbed his hands together. “First, you’re not getting on your legs right now; you’ll cramp up. I’ve brought my bag of tricks which should ease the muscles and warm everything up nice and slow.”
The big man moved to the door and brought out a large suitcase. “Just lie back and think of Artem.”
I raised my eyebrow at him. “I’m not in much of a position to be seduced.”
Bobby’s laugh was infectious, and he knew it. “I’ll be gentle, but if something hurts a lot, you have to tell me.”
“I will,” I promised. “I’ve had enough pain the last few weeks to last a lifetime.”
“You do know it’s not going to be much easier every time, right?”
I did know it. “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it, just like everything else in my life.” Bobby uncovered my legs. From here they looked like white pasty twigs, my blue veins snaking up from my ankles looking rather like tram tracks on a map. “I look awful.”
“I’ve seen worse,” Bobby stated and went about his work. The bag opened, and heating implements popped, and several pots came out. “This will bring blood to your muscles, essentially giving them a workout without doing anything.”
“Doesn’t sound so bad.”
Bobby frowned and poured a base oil into a pot. “It will be bad. I can’t lie. When I ask you to push, either way I direct, you need to do it with the most force you have in your body.”
It seemed simple and watching him pick out oils fascinated me. “Birch for spasms, clove for pain relief, ginger to warm you up and marjoram for a little relaxation.” He stirred the oil gently, then brought it up to me. “What do you think?”
“Smells wonderful,” I said. “It really does.”
“Good, it should help a fair bit.” He was soon rubbing it over his hands, then those big hands were on my flesh. To my surprise, his hands were soft, not rough at all.
Gentle he was, with soft pressure and movements at first, then he got a little more vigorous. When he asked me to do something, his tone was not soft; it meant business, and I complied. He bent my leg at the knee, holding onto my foot, and I cried out. “Push against me.”
I tried, I really did.
“Call that a push? I said push, not tickle me.”
I couldn’t understand why my legs weren’t working as I wanted them to. “I’m trying!”
“Try harder.” He glared at me. When I did try harder, he nodded. “Better. Now the other leg, then I’ll get you in the shower. You’ve taken an hour already.”
“When’s Mal getting here?” I almost begged.
“You have two more hours, so come on, get up.”
I didn’t think anything from here on out would be easy, even to just get out of bed. It was the single hardest thing I’d ever done, harder it seemed than agreeing to the TAP itself, but that was a lie. I’d already blocked that from my mind.
Cold sweat ran down my back, and my chest heaved. I tried to stand. “I—I can’t,” I stammered.
Bobby wasn’t letting go. “You want Malaki to see you like this?”
“No, no way.”
“Then get off that bed.”
I sucked in a breath and forced myself off. My legs wobbled. I really thought I was going to fall face down, and I let out a yell.
Bobby caught me, his strong arms holding on tight. “I’m not going to let you fall, no matter how much I push you. We’re in this together, okay?”
It was the way he held onto me, the genuine care in his eyes, that made me believe him. “You’ll do everything you can to get me to move, won’t you?”
“Yes,” he said and together we straightened up. “Now, you’re going to walk to that bathroom. I’m not getting the wheelchair.”
I noted Jim at the door. “Just waiting,” he said. “Alba had to go do other jobs.”
“Alba would have taken me in the chair,” I said and held Jim’s eyes.
“She would have,” Jim said. “You don’t have time for my wife.”
I swallowed, looked into Bobby’s smiling face, straightened myself up as much as I could, and I stepped forward.
By the time I’d got to the shower, I was beyond exhausted. Bobby helped me to sit and then moved to the soap dispensers. “You’re not going to leave me to do it myself, are you?”
“Sorry, not till you’re a lot stronger than this and can at least stand on your own.”
“I don’t even think I could wash myself.” I’d never felt so humiliated. This was a guy, a big one at that, not a nurse.
Bobby gently turned his attention to the pull cord on my hospital gown. “That’s why I’m here.”
I cringed. I’d hated Alba, Roe, and Jim seeing me, but this. Bobby was maybe ten years older than me, and about seventy kilos heavier, and it didn’t seem right.
“Let it go,” he said, his tone much softer. “This is my job. A job I love doing for many reasons. Washing someone who really needs it is one of them. I take great pride in making you feel comfortable. I’m here to help you. Let me take care of you, and if you think in ten minutes or so, you can handle down there, I’ll step aside.”
“It feels like failure,” I admitted, knowing my face was as red as the blood pumping in his veins.
Bobby moved my gown out of the way, never even bothering about his own clothes. “You are not a failure.”
“I can’t even walk to the bathroom without aid. That’s failure.”
He turned the water on, making sure it was a good enough temperature before he turned it on me. He picked up a sponge and poured a generous amount of soap on it, squishing it till there were lots of bubbles and a wafting scent of something rich and peppery at me.
“Let me tell you a story,” he said as the sponge connected with my skin. I choked up as he ever so gently washed over my back, then my chest. “A story about a young man who turned up so battered and bruised that when I lifted him out the car they brought him in, I thought he’d die in my arms.”
He didn’t need to tell me who he spoke about. I knew who it was.
“This young man looked into my eyes as I held onto him. ‘Everything hurts,’ he said. ‘It really hurts.’ I had never seen anyone as black and blue as I did that day. They had asked me to escort him up to the surgical ward for Doctor Brosk to talk and prep him for surgery. Yet, looking into his eyes, I knew he didn’t have that long. I told him—”
“‘I know, kid,’” I said for him, remembering his exact words. “You said, ‘I’ve got you. Just hold on. I won’t let you go.’”
Bobby’s tone was soft, wistful, and I was right there with him in the memory. “I wrapped you up so gently, like a baby. I’d never felt more protective of anyone, and even if it didn’t feel like it to you, I took my time to get you inside. I knew every step I took would hurt. So I used every skill I had to glide across that floor, into the elevator and up to the unit. I called for Doctor Brosk and I told First Lieutenant Bryd the truth. You needed surgery, right now. There was no time for talking or messing about.”
“Without all of you acting as fast as you did, I wouldn’t be here.”
“Maybe, maybe not.” Bobby picked an arm up and washed every inch of me. “You had one special nite pack inside you, one your father left you with.”
How had he known that? How? I wanted to ask, but I didn’t want those answers. Did it mean my father had seen much more of me than he should have? Did he know about my future? That was impossible, wasn’t it?
“I’m glad I’m here. I’m glad I’ve got you here. Thank you.”
He stopped a moment and looked at me his eyes calculating. “You’ve pinked up a bit, looked pale as a ghost before. Feeling a bit better?”
“Yes,” I said, and I was. “Your version of my story made me realize how far I have come. It’s tough going right now, but nothing I’ve done so far has been easy.”
“It will get easier every day,” Bobby said. “I promise you.”
***
It was easier every day that passed, and they did pass; they flew by. Bobby wasn’t wrong. There was no day that would ever be like that one ever again.
Now, I was up, reading, walking, swimming, doing weights again. Almost at my skinny, younger seventeen-year-old self once more. Still a month, probably, before I had the weight on me that I was before the operation, or the muscle, but I was getting there.
Bobby never let me down.
Malaki never let me down.
Well, she never talked to me about Justin again. But I also only pushed her the once, and she brushed me off.
Today, Malaki whirled in with the widest grin on her face and carrying a brown paper bag.
“You didn’t?” I asked.
“Oh yes, I did. I picked these up especially off Eco, and Anders rushed them over.”
My mouth watered already. “So, what’s the occasion?”
“Well, we’re getting you the hell out of here.”
“We?”
Niko and Ren came rushing in with a wheelchair behind them. “Oh, no way.” I grinned. “You’re seriously doing this?”
“We’re busting you out,” Malaki said. “You get in that new helo, fly like you’re supposed to, and then we get dessert on OOF’s top parking lot. Sector three.”
“You brought the new helo here?”
“Took some persuasion, but too right we did.”
Justin strode in behind them with Silao. “You’re being recalled,” he said. “By us. So, yes, we brought them here for you. Duty awaits. There’s no more time for ‘rehab.’”
