Shadow's Blade, page 33
But upon touching her hands to the stone, she screamed again, and that same heat I had felt lit her fingers ablaze. She grabbed at the knife once more, despite the flames, but appeared unable to pull it free.
Still that bloody light poured out of her, but now the torrent began to ebb, the radiance of the glow to diminish. She dropped to her knees, her eyes finding mine.
“You,” she said again, her voice strained.
I forced myself to my feet and staggered toward her.
“Jay!” Gracie called.
“It’s all right.” I eased closer.
“There are others,” Saorla said, breathing the words. “I shall be avenged.”
I stood over her and offered no reply. For another few seconds, she stared up at me. Then her eyes rolled back in her head and she toppled over onto her side, light still seeping from the wound.
The last pair of weremancers had watched all of this, their mouths hanging open. Now they shifted their gazes to me.
“Get out of here,” I said. “Don’t ever let me see your faces again.”
I heard footsteps behind me: Neil and Gracie. One of the weremancers—the woman—nodded once, and the two of them backed away from us. Eventually they turned and began the long walk back to the city.
Gracie stared down at Saorla’s body. I thought she might prod the corpse with a toe, but she didn’t. Rather, she surveyed the area around our campsite. Fitzwater’s body was still sprawled in the street, near the man whose blood he had used for a spell. Vogue, Susan, and the other man lay in the dirt near the tents, alive and needing care.
“You told me they could be beaten,” she said. “I didn’t believe you.”
“I know.”
“Did you believe it?” she asked me. “Or were you saying it to keep me from giving up?”
“We’ll go with the first option.”
A wan smile touched her lips.
“We should heal that hand,” I said.
“I’ll do it,” Neil said, perhaps a little too quickly.
Her smile lingered. “Yeah, all right.”
I left them there and walked to Billie, who had stayed back with the kids.
She put her arms around me, her eyes searching mine. “Are you all right?”
“A little sore. But otherwise I’m fine.” I flexed my right hand. My entire arm felt like it had been barbecued, but while my skin might have been a little pink, there were no burns, no blisters. I’d been lucky.
“That was amazing, Fearsson. I thought she had . . . I don’t know what I thought. But you had me fooled, along with everyone else.”
I smiled. “It’s nice to know I can still surprise you.”
“Well, don’t make a habit of it. I think I’ve had my fill of surprises for a while. I’d like things to just be normal.”
“Normal?” I said. “Have we met? I don’t do normal.”
“So I’ve noticed.” Her grin faded. “What did she say to you at the end?”
“Saorla?”
Billie nodded.
I wanted to lie to her, to reassure her, but she deserved better, and she was strong enough to hear the truth.
“That she wasn’t the last, and that others of her kind would avenge her death.”
“Cheery.”
“Yeah, no shit.”
“That’s a bad one, Jay,” Emmy said from nearby. “Two quarters for each of us.”
CHAPTER 23
Neil did a decent job of healing Gracie’s hand, and as soon as he finished, Gracie was ready to leave.
I insisted that we call ambulances for the injured weremancers. I wanted to call Kona, too. She would have to take Gracie in, but I trusted her to take into account all the mitigating circumstances and to do her best to get the charges against Gracie dropped or at least lessened.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to convince Gracie that this was the wisest course, and Neil didn’t have much more success than I did. To my surprise, though, Billie did, and before Gracie changed her mind, I put in the call.
I told Kona where we were and gave her the Reader’s Digest version of what had happened.
“You’re way outside my jurisdiction, Justis.”
“I know that. But Fitzwater and Gracie are your murder suspects, and Saorla’s been on PPD’s radar for a while now, too. You need to pull some strings, or get one of the higher-ups to do it.”
“You say Billie ran down Fitzwater?”
“That’s right.”
“Well, she might be in a bit of trouble, too.”
“I hadn’t thought of that. Hold on.” I walked to where Billie had stopped her car. It was dark, of course, but the moonlight was bright enough for me to see that there wasn’t a mark on that little blue Honda. Nothing. No dents in the bumper or hood, not even a crack in the windshield. Those had been some powerful wardings.
“It’s not a problem,” I said into the phone. “You’d never know that her car touched him.”
“So who are we going to pin it on?”
“It was a hit and run, Kona. The driver never even slowed down.”
“I don’t like this at all. If it was anyone but Fitzwater, I wouldn’t go along.”
“If it was anyone but Fitzwater, she wouldn’t have hit him.”
She couldn’t argue with that.
We ended our call and I rejoined Billie and the others to wait for Kona, Kevin, and the state police to get there. I heard the ambulance approaching, and braced myself for what I knew would be hours of questioning. The glamour Saorla had placed over us had died with the necromancer. Maybe the fire department would finally show up, too.
“What do we tell them?” Gracie asked, her voice low.
“As much of the truth as we can,” I said. But I stepped back to Saorla’s body. No more light came from the wound, and already the stench of rot, a hint of which always clung to her, had become almost too strong to bear. I hesitated, but then stooped and gripped the Sgian-Bán. The hilt was as cool as, well, stone. I pulled on it, expecting resistance, but the blade slid free. It was as clean as it had been when first Saorla pulled it from Zeeber.
I carried it back to where the others waited, watching me.
Gracie held out her hand for it, but I looked her in the eye and slipped it into my coat pocket.
“It’s not yours,” I said. “It’s not mine, either, but I’ll find a place for it.”
I could see she didn’t like this at all, but she held her tongue.
It was a long night. Kona met the State Police near Gila Bend and drove with them to the campground, which meant that we didn’t have to answer questions from anyone but her. Just about every one of us, except Billie and the kids, sported injuries from our battle, which made piecing together a coherent narrative that would allow the police to assign blame that much more difficult. It was a tangled mess, but I knew that those dark sorcerers had no interest in pressing charges against us. Any court proceedings would shine too much light on their activities. For my part, I wouldn’t have minded sending them all to prison, but there wasn’t a jail in the state that would hold the weremancers if they didn’t want to be held.
Kona knew all of this as well, of course. And though she masked her reactions, I could tell she was glad to see the corpses of Fitzwater and Saorla. Still, those of us who didn’t need hospital care, all wound up going back to 620 for further questioning.
Billie and I didn’t get out of there until well past dawn. Kona and Kevin were still interrogating Gracie when we left.
Margarite, Kona’s life partner, drove us back out to Gila Bend to retrieve Billie’s car, and Billie then drove me to the national monument so that I could get my dad’s pickup. I was eager to swap the truck for my 280Z, whatever the hell I was going to call it now.
Billie and I parted there, with me promising her that I would see her later in the day.
I headed back into the city, and as I drove, I placed a call to Jacinto Amaya.
He answered on the first ring.
“What’s happened?” he asked.
“Gracie and the kids are safe. The kids are with the husband, who turned out to be a pretty decent guy, and Gracie is answering questions at Phoenix Police headquarters.”
“What about Fitzwater?”
“He’s dead. And so is Saorla.”
Amaya was silent for a long time. “How did you manage that?”
“I had some help,” I said.
“I would expect. But killing Saorla? I didn’t think that could be done.”
“I used the Sgian-Bán.”
Another long pause. “So you have it?”
He sounded too eager, and I knew I could never allow him to get anywhere near that knife. “I did,” I said.
“And now?”
“It was destroyed when I killed Saorla. There was a lot of light and flame, and when it was over and she was dead, the knife was gone.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah, it’s a tough break.”
“It certainly is,” he said, in a tone that made we wonder if he believed me. “But at least we know that it will never again fall into the hands of dark sorcerers.”
“That’s right,” I said. “I assure you it never will.”
“All right. Come by the house later today, and I’ll pay you for the work you did.”
“How about tomorrow? It’s been a wild few days and I’m wiped.”
“Sure, tomorrow’s fine. Thank you, Jay. I’m glad Gracie and her children are safe. I know Marisol and Eduardo will be relieved.”
I closed the phone and dropped it back into my pocket, my gaze never leaving the road. But I was aware of the bright gleaming eyes fixed on me from the passenger seat.
“You have something you want to say to me, ghost?”
Namid rumbled like desert thunder. “You lied to him, Ohanko. The Pale Knife cannot be destroyed.”
“You could do it.”
He shook his head. “It is not our place to interfere, even in this.”
“That’s what I figured. So, yes, I lied. I don’t want him to have it.”
“You believe it is safe in your care?”
“No, I have something else in mind.”
“Very well. I will trust in your judgment.”
I glanced his way. “Thank you. Before Saorla died, she told me that there were others of her kind, and she made it clear they’d be coming for me.”
“I have no doubt this is true. There were as many necromancers as there were runemystes. Perhaps more. You must continue to tread like the fox. And you must train.”
“Right. About that, I think I’m ready to learn some new spells. I figured a few things out last night. I’m not the weremyste I was yesterday. I’m a runecrafter now.”
“I believe I will be the judge of that.”
“Yeah, you will. And you’d better bring something more than the weak-ass shit you threw at me in Billie’s dining room the other day.”
“Is this trash talk?”
I grinned. Namid always sounded funny using modern phrases. “Yes, it is.”
“Very good. I will look forward to our next meeting, Ohanko. Watch your ass.”
I was still laughing long after he disappeared.
I returned the truck to my dad and sat with him for a little while. He was unusually coherent this day, especially considering that the phasing would begin at sundown. We sipped beers, and I told him all about the past few days and my final confrontation with Saorla. He interrupted me a few times to ask questions, sounding very much like the cop he must have been in his heyday. When I finished, he patted my leg and nodded.
“Sounds like you did good work.”
“I think I did.” I finished my bottle and set it on the ground by my folding chair. “Did you enjoy being a dad?” I asked. “When I was young, I mean.”
He shrugged. “Sure. Being a dad is a lot of fun. I was working hard then, and of course I had the phasings to deal with. But you were a good kid, and your mom and I were still doing okay then. So yeah, I enjoyed it. Why?”
I shook my head. “Just wondering.”
“Why don’t I believe that?”
“I liked being with Gracie’s kids, and it made me wonder . . . I’m young still, and . . . I don’t know. It has me thinking.”
“Well, there’s nothing wrong with thinking. But remember that any kids you bring into this world are probably going to be weremystes, too. That’s not a deal-breaker, obviously. It wasn’t for me and your mom. But it’s also nothing to take lightly.”
I left him a short while later and drove my car to Billie’s. In all the time we had been together, I still hadn’t stayed with her during a phasing. In part I feared that I might hurt her. But I also had been reluctant to let her see me in the depths of my monthly psychosis. I knew, though, that if we were to have a future together, I’d have to let her see what my phasings were like.
Apparently she knew this, too.
“I think you should stay here tonight,” she said as we ate a late lunch.
“Tonight’s—”
“I know what tonight is. I don’t care. I want you here with me.”
I nodded, feeling both frightened and relieved. “All right.”
Those words seemed to throw every clock in the world into overdrive. I would have gladly sold my soul for a spell that would slow down time. Before I knew it, the sky had begun to darken and the full moon, not yet risen but lurking like a demon just below the horizon, had settled its weight on my mind.
Billie remained by my side, but I shrank from her, fearing the coming insanity, terrified of what she would see in me. Until at last, she took both of my hands and forced me to look her in the eye.
“I’m not going anywhere,” she said, whispering the words with such intensity, I knew she meant it not only for this night, but for all the phasings to come.
It was my last coherent thought. The moon rose. My grip on reality loosened, slipped away altogether. The delusions and hallucinations crept in. Most were fleeting, here and gone like a desert wind. Others proved more stubborn. I remember seeing Saorla’s face, watching as she killed Zach and then Emmy. I’m sure I screamed and wept.
But Billie stayed with me. And more significant, I remained aware of her the entire time. She didn’t morph into some ghoul, or my dead mother, or—thank God—Saorla. She was just Billie. Solid, real, unchanged despite the maelstrom of confusion around me. At some point she must have led me to bed and tucked me in, because I awoke the next morning with her beside me, watching me, a smile on her lovely face.
“How are you doing?”
“I feel hungover,” I said, croaking the words. “But that’s normal.” I watched her. “You didn’t run away screaming.”
“I told you I wouldn’t.” She kissed me lightly on the lips. “I’m hungry. How about some breakfast?”
I nodded, not entirely sure what to say. I’d never thought of treating a morning during the phasing as if it were the start of just another day—normal, routine. Maybe she was on to something.
“I’m supposed to see Amaya today.”
She shook her head. “You’re not going anywhere. You’re staying with me.”
“But—”
“He’s a weremyste, too, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then he’ll understand.”
Hard to argue.
Breakfast consisted of pancakes and sausage. Normal, routine.
We spent much of the day on her couch flipping the channels on her television. She was more subdued than usual, and I began to worry that maybe the first night of the phasing had freaked her out after all. She’d gotten a glimpse of our future, of what life with me would really be like, and she’d come to realize that she didn’t want any part of it. Already she was dreading this second night, afraid that it would be even worse than the first. That was my fear, at least.
Turns out, I was just a bit off.
Late in the afternoon I finally worked up the courage to say something. “Maybe I should go.”
She eyed me as if I was nuts. “Go where?”
“I don’t know. Home?”
“Don’t be stupid. You’re staying here.” She switched the television back to a channel that was airing reruns of an old detective series. She liked to watch PI shows with me and ask what was real and what was BS.
“Last night really didn’t scare you off, did it?”
“Clown. Of course not.”
“Then why so quiet?”
She shrugged, but suddenly she wouldn’t look me in the eye.
“Billie?”
“It’s nothing. I was just . . . I’ve been wondering. Do you ever think about having kids?”
Namid had been telling me for years that as my runecrafting improved, and I learned to better control my magic, I might ease the effects of the phasing on my long-term sanity.
I had no doubt this was true. What I hadn’t expected was that the giant steps I had taken with my spellcraft in recent days might make this first phasing itself less severe. I suppose it was also possible that being with Billie, having her there to keep me at least somewhat grounded, helped me through the worst of the full moon. Whatever the reason, the next two nights were no more harrowing than the first. This proved to be the easiest phasing I’d ever endured.
The morning after the third night, I went to Amaya for my check and then drove out to see Gracie, who had been placed in the Estrella Jail west of Sky Harbor Airport. She looked tired and pale, but she seemed to be in good spirits.
“Detective Shaw thinks the charges will be dropped eventually,” she said. “Maybe as soon as the end of next week.”
“That’s great,” I said. “Kona wouldn’t have told you that if she didn’t think she could get it done.”
Gracie nodded, studying her hands. “I miss the kids.”
“I’m sure. They with your parents?”
“No, Neil.”
“I think that’s good, too. There a chance you two could get back together?”
“I don’t think so. We’re good at the parenting thing, but we kinda suck at the marriage thing.”
“So where will you go?”
“I’m thinking about Sedona. I can get a job at the hospital up there, and Mister Amaya has told my mom that he might be able to help me out with a small loan. Interest free.”
Still that bloody light poured out of her, but now the torrent began to ebb, the radiance of the glow to diminish. She dropped to her knees, her eyes finding mine.
“You,” she said again, her voice strained.
I forced myself to my feet and staggered toward her.
“Jay!” Gracie called.
“It’s all right.” I eased closer.
“There are others,” Saorla said, breathing the words. “I shall be avenged.”
I stood over her and offered no reply. For another few seconds, she stared up at me. Then her eyes rolled back in her head and she toppled over onto her side, light still seeping from the wound.
The last pair of weremancers had watched all of this, their mouths hanging open. Now they shifted their gazes to me.
“Get out of here,” I said. “Don’t ever let me see your faces again.”
I heard footsteps behind me: Neil and Gracie. One of the weremancers—the woman—nodded once, and the two of them backed away from us. Eventually they turned and began the long walk back to the city.
Gracie stared down at Saorla’s body. I thought she might prod the corpse with a toe, but she didn’t. Rather, she surveyed the area around our campsite. Fitzwater’s body was still sprawled in the street, near the man whose blood he had used for a spell. Vogue, Susan, and the other man lay in the dirt near the tents, alive and needing care.
“You told me they could be beaten,” she said. “I didn’t believe you.”
“I know.”
“Did you believe it?” she asked me. “Or were you saying it to keep me from giving up?”
“We’ll go with the first option.”
A wan smile touched her lips.
“We should heal that hand,” I said.
“I’ll do it,” Neil said, perhaps a little too quickly.
Her smile lingered. “Yeah, all right.”
I left them there and walked to Billie, who had stayed back with the kids.
She put her arms around me, her eyes searching mine. “Are you all right?”
“A little sore. But otherwise I’m fine.” I flexed my right hand. My entire arm felt like it had been barbecued, but while my skin might have been a little pink, there were no burns, no blisters. I’d been lucky.
“That was amazing, Fearsson. I thought she had . . . I don’t know what I thought. But you had me fooled, along with everyone else.”
I smiled. “It’s nice to know I can still surprise you.”
“Well, don’t make a habit of it. I think I’ve had my fill of surprises for a while. I’d like things to just be normal.”
“Normal?” I said. “Have we met? I don’t do normal.”
“So I’ve noticed.” Her grin faded. “What did she say to you at the end?”
“Saorla?”
Billie nodded.
I wanted to lie to her, to reassure her, but she deserved better, and she was strong enough to hear the truth.
“That she wasn’t the last, and that others of her kind would avenge her death.”
“Cheery.”
“Yeah, no shit.”
“That’s a bad one, Jay,” Emmy said from nearby. “Two quarters for each of us.”
CHAPTER 23
Neil did a decent job of healing Gracie’s hand, and as soon as he finished, Gracie was ready to leave.
I insisted that we call ambulances for the injured weremancers. I wanted to call Kona, too. She would have to take Gracie in, but I trusted her to take into account all the mitigating circumstances and to do her best to get the charges against Gracie dropped or at least lessened.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to convince Gracie that this was the wisest course, and Neil didn’t have much more success than I did. To my surprise, though, Billie did, and before Gracie changed her mind, I put in the call.
I told Kona where we were and gave her the Reader’s Digest version of what had happened.
“You’re way outside my jurisdiction, Justis.”
“I know that. But Fitzwater and Gracie are your murder suspects, and Saorla’s been on PPD’s radar for a while now, too. You need to pull some strings, or get one of the higher-ups to do it.”
“You say Billie ran down Fitzwater?”
“That’s right.”
“Well, she might be in a bit of trouble, too.”
“I hadn’t thought of that. Hold on.” I walked to where Billie had stopped her car. It was dark, of course, but the moonlight was bright enough for me to see that there wasn’t a mark on that little blue Honda. Nothing. No dents in the bumper or hood, not even a crack in the windshield. Those had been some powerful wardings.
“It’s not a problem,” I said into the phone. “You’d never know that her car touched him.”
“So who are we going to pin it on?”
“It was a hit and run, Kona. The driver never even slowed down.”
“I don’t like this at all. If it was anyone but Fitzwater, I wouldn’t go along.”
“If it was anyone but Fitzwater, she wouldn’t have hit him.”
She couldn’t argue with that.
We ended our call and I rejoined Billie and the others to wait for Kona, Kevin, and the state police to get there. I heard the ambulance approaching, and braced myself for what I knew would be hours of questioning. The glamour Saorla had placed over us had died with the necromancer. Maybe the fire department would finally show up, too.
“What do we tell them?” Gracie asked, her voice low.
“As much of the truth as we can,” I said. But I stepped back to Saorla’s body. No more light came from the wound, and already the stench of rot, a hint of which always clung to her, had become almost too strong to bear. I hesitated, but then stooped and gripped the Sgian-Bán. The hilt was as cool as, well, stone. I pulled on it, expecting resistance, but the blade slid free. It was as clean as it had been when first Saorla pulled it from Zeeber.
I carried it back to where the others waited, watching me.
Gracie held out her hand for it, but I looked her in the eye and slipped it into my coat pocket.
“It’s not yours,” I said. “It’s not mine, either, but I’ll find a place for it.”
I could see she didn’t like this at all, but she held her tongue.
It was a long night. Kona met the State Police near Gila Bend and drove with them to the campground, which meant that we didn’t have to answer questions from anyone but her. Just about every one of us, except Billie and the kids, sported injuries from our battle, which made piecing together a coherent narrative that would allow the police to assign blame that much more difficult. It was a tangled mess, but I knew that those dark sorcerers had no interest in pressing charges against us. Any court proceedings would shine too much light on their activities. For my part, I wouldn’t have minded sending them all to prison, but there wasn’t a jail in the state that would hold the weremancers if they didn’t want to be held.
Kona knew all of this as well, of course. And though she masked her reactions, I could tell she was glad to see the corpses of Fitzwater and Saorla. Still, those of us who didn’t need hospital care, all wound up going back to 620 for further questioning.
Billie and I didn’t get out of there until well past dawn. Kona and Kevin were still interrogating Gracie when we left.
Margarite, Kona’s life partner, drove us back out to Gila Bend to retrieve Billie’s car, and Billie then drove me to the national monument so that I could get my dad’s pickup. I was eager to swap the truck for my 280Z, whatever the hell I was going to call it now.
Billie and I parted there, with me promising her that I would see her later in the day.
I headed back into the city, and as I drove, I placed a call to Jacinto Amaya.
He answered on the first ring.
“What’s happened?” he asked.
“Gracie and the kids are safe. The kids are with the husband, who turned out to be a pretty decent guy, and Gracie is answering questions at Phoenix Police headquarters.”
“What about Fitzwater?”
“He’s dead. And so is Saorla.”
Amaya was silent for a long time. “How did you manage that?”
“I had some help,” I said.
“I would expect. But killing Saorla? I didn’t think that could be done.”
“I used the Sgian-Bán.”
Another long pause. “So you have it?”
He sounded too eager, and I knew I could never allow him to get anywhere near that knife. “I did,” I said.
“And now?”
“It was destroyed when I killed Saorla. There was a lot of light and flame, and when it was over and she was dead, the knife was gone.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah, it’s a tough break.”
“It certainly is,” he said, in a tone that made we wonder if he believed me. “But at least we know that it will never again fall into the hands of dark sorcerers.”
“That’s right,” I said. “I assure you it never will.”
“All right. Come by the house later today, and I’ll pay you for the work you did.”
“How about tomorrow? It’s been a wild few days and I’m wiped.”
“Sure, tomorrow’s fine. Thank you, Jay. I’m glad Gracie and her children are safe. I know Marisol and Eduardo will be relieved.”
I closed the phone and dropped it back into my pocket, my gaze never leaving the road. But I was aware of the bright gleaming eyes fixed on me from the passenger seat.
“You have something you want to say to me, ghost?”
Namid rumbled like desert thunder. “You lied to him, Ohanko. The Pale Knife cannot be destroyed.”
“You could do it.”
He shook his head. “It is not our place to interfere, even in this.”
“That’s what I figured. So, yes, I lied. I don’t want him to have it.”
“You believe it is safe in your care?”
“No, I have something else in mind.”
“Very well. I will trust in your judgment.”
I glanced his way. “Thank you. Before Saorla died, she told me that there were others of her kind, and she made it clear they’d be coming for me.”
“I have no doubt this is true. There were as many necromancers as there were runemystes. Perhaps more. You must continue to tread like the fox. And you must train.”
“Right. About that, I think I’m ready to learn some new spells. I figured a few things out last night. I’m not the weremyste I was yesterday. I’m a runecrafter now.”
“I believe I will be the judge of that.”
“Yeah, you will. And you’d better bring something more than the weak-ass shit you threw at me in Billie’s dining room the other day.”
“Is this trash talk?”
I grinned. Namid always sounded funny using modern phrases. “Yes, it is.”
“Very good. I will look forward to our next meeting, Ohanko. Watch your ass.”
I was still laughing long after he disappeared.
I returned the truck to my dad and sat with him for a little while. He was unusually coherent this day, especially considering that the phasing would begin at sundown. We sipped beers, and I told him all about the past few days and my final confrontation with Saorla. He interrupted me a few times to ask questions, sounding very much like the cop he must have been in his heyday. When I finished, he patted my leg and nodded.
“Sounds like you did good work.”
“I think I did.” I finished my bottle and set it on the ground by my folding chair. “Did you enjoy being a dad?” I asked. “When I was young, I mean.”
He shrugged. “Sure. Being a dad is a lot of fun. I was working hard then, and of course I had the phasings to deal with. But you were a good kid, and your mom and I were still doing okay then. So yeah, I enjoyed it. Why?”
I shook my head. “Just wondering.”
“Why don’t I believe that?”
“I liked being with Gracie’s kids, and it made me wonder . . . I’m young still, and . . . I don’t know. It has me thinking.”
“Well, there’s nothing wrong with thinking. But remember that any kids you bring into this world are probably going to be weremystes, too. That’s not a deal-breaker, obviously. It wasn’t for me and your mom. But it’s also nothing to take lightly.”
I left him a short while later and drove my car to Billie’s. In all the time we had been together, I still hadn’t stayed with her during a phasing. In part I feared that I might hurt her. But I also had been reluctant to let her see me in the depths of my monthly psychosis. I knew, though, that if we were to have a future together, I’d have to let her see what my phasings were like.
Apparently she knew this, too.
“I think you should stay here tonight,” she said as we ate a late lunch.
“Tonight’s—”
“I know what tonight is. I don’t care. I want you here with me.”
I nodded, feeling both frightened and relieved. “All right.”
Those words seemed to throw every clock in the world into overdrive. I would have gladly sold my soul for a spell that would slow down time. Before I knew it, the sky had begun to darken and the full moon, not yet risen but lurking like a demon just below the horizon, had settled its weight on my mind.
Billie remained by my side, but I shrank from her, fearing the coming insanity, terrified of what she would see in me. Until at last, she took both of my hands and forced me to look her in the eye.
“I’m not going anywhere,” she said, whispering the words with such intensity, I knew she meant it not only for this night, but for all the phasings to come.
It was my last coherent thought. The moon rose. My grip on reality loosened, slipped away altogether. The delusions and hallucinations crept in. Most were fleeting, here and gone like a desert wind. Others proved more stubborn. I remember seeing Saorla’s face, watching as she killed Zach and then Emmy. I’m sure I screamed and wept.
But Billie stayed with me. And more significant, I remained aware of her the entire time. She didn’t morph into some ghoul, or my dead mother, or—thank God—Saorla. She was just Billie. Solid, real, unchanged despite the maelstrom of confusion around me. At some point she must have led me to bed and tucked me in, because I awoke the next morning with her beside me, watching me, a smile on her lovely face.
“How are you doing?”
“I feel hungover,” I said, croaking the words. “But that’s normal.” I watched her. “You didn’t run away screaming.”
“I told you I wouldn’t.” She kissed me lightly on the lips. “I’m hungry. How about some breakfast?”
I nodded, not entirely sure what to say. I’d never thought of treating a morning during the phasing as if it were the start of just another day—normal, routine. Maybe she was on to something.
“I’m supposed to see Amaya today.”
She shook her head. “You’re not going anywhere. You’re staying with me.”
“But—”
“He’s a weremyste, too, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then he’ll understand.”
Hard to argue.
Breakfast consisted of pancakes and sausage. Normal, routine.
We spent much of the day on her couch flipping the channels on her television. She was more subdued than usual, and I began to worry that maybe the first night of the phasing had freaked her out after all. She’d gotten a glimpse of our future, of what life with me would really be like, and she’d come to realize that she didn’t want any part of it. Already she was dreading this second night, afraid that it would be even worse than the first. That was my fear, at least.
Turns out, I was just a bit off.
Late in the afternoon I finally worked up the courage to say something. “Maybe I should go.”
She eyed me as if I was nuts. “Go where?”
“I don’t know. Home?”
“Don’t be stupid. You’re staying here.” She switched the television back to a channel that was airing reruns of an old detective series. She liked to watch PI shows with me and ask what was real and what was BS.
“Last night really didn’t scare you off, did it?”
“Clown. Of course not.”
“Then why so quiet?”
She shrugged, but suddenly she wouldn’t look me in the eye.
“Billie?”
“It’s nothing. I was just . . . I’ve been wondering. Do you ever think about having kids?”
Namid had been telling me for years that as my runecrafting improved, and I learned to better control my magic, I might ease the effects of the phasing on my long-term sanity.
I had no doubt this was true. What I hadn’t expected was that the giant steps I had taken with my spellcraft in recent days might make this first phasing itself less severe. I suppose it was also possible that being with Billie, having her there to keep me at least somewhat grounded, helped me through the worst of the full moon. Whatever the reason, the next two nights were no more harrowing than the first. This proved to be the easiest phasing I’d ever endured.
The morning after the third night, I went to Amaya for my check and then drove out to see Gracie, who had been placed in the Estrella Jail west of Sky Harbor Airport. She looked tired and pale, but she seemed to be in good spirits.
“Detective Shaw thinks the charges will be dropped eventually,” she said. “Maybe as soon as the end of next week.”
“That’s great,” I said. “Kona wouldn’t have told you that if she didn’t think she could get it done.”
Gracie nodded, studying her hands. “I miss the kids.”
“I’m sure. They with your parents?”
“No, Neil.”
“I think that’s good, too. There a chance you two could get back together?”
“I don’t think so. We’re good at the parenting thing, but we kinda suck at the marriage thing.”
“So where will you go?”
“I’m thinking about Sedona. I can get a job at the hospital up there, and Mister Amaya has told my mom that he might be able to help me out with a small loan. Interest free.”
