Shadow's Blade, page 20
I frowned. “Did you two . . . did you have magical battles or something?”
“No. We used to play around a bit, that’s all. I thought it was fun. But after a while he grew frustrated, because I was always better than he was. That’s when he started playing with blood spells. One night he insisted on playing one of our old games. We hadn’t in a long while. I’d gotten tired of the way his mood soured when he couldn’t keep up with something I did. But this night he insisted.
“We did fire spells. That was our usual. We’d set up candles in our room and see who could light them fastest. Sometimes after, with the room all lit up like that . . .” Her mouth twisted and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Anyway, on this night, he pulled out a knife and before I knew what he was doing he had cut himself and lit all the candles with a single spell. There was this whoosh of power, and it was like a wave of fire had swept through our bedroom. I swear he almost burned the place down. He was all pleased with himself, but I got angry with him, told him not to use spells like that in the house ever again.
“We got into a big fight. He said that I didn’t like being beaten at my own game. The truth was, though, I was scared. I’d heard about blood spells but I’d never seen one. And I didn’t want that kind of magic around the kids.”
“So that was why you left.”
She hiked a shoulder, dropped it again. “I didn’t leave right away. He said he wouldn’t use blood spells anymore, at least not around the house, and for a while I don’t think he did. But we didn’t play that game again. Or any others, for that matter. Even that would’ve been all right. But he stopped talking to me, at least beyond the day-to-day stuff. We didn’t laugh anymore. It was like there was this constant tension, you know? After a while, I couldn’t take it any more, so I took the kids and went back to my mom and dad’s place.” A smile ghosted across her lips, reminding me of one I had seen on her mother’s face. “That’s how desperate I was to get away at the end. I went back to them.”
I had no idea what to say.
“The kids don’t know any of this . . .” she said.
“Of course. I won’t say a thing.”
“I’m not in love with him anymore. It got too sad for that. But I still love him, and I want the kids to keep loving him. That’s why I reacted the way I did.”
“I understand. What about the knife?”
She shook her head. “I’m not ready to tell that story yet.”
I suppose I could have pushed her, but she had opened up to me more than I expected, and I thought maybe if I didn’t push now, my patience would pay off later.
“Fair enough,” I said.
She regarded me for another moment before nodding and turning to walk back to the pickup. I should have followed right away, but for a few seconds all I could do was watch her, feeling a blend of pity and something else I couldn’t quite name. Or perhaps didn’t want to name.
I had only met her a couple of days ago. This morning I hadn’t been sure I wanted anything to do with her. And now . . . Now I had to remind myself that I was here to protect her and her kids, and that the woman I loved was back in Phoenix, probably worrying about me.
I took a step toward the pickup, but then froze as magic brushed my mind.
Justis Fearsson.
I spun, expecting to see Saorla behind me. But I only saw clusters of brittlebush and stunted prickly pear cacti.
I know that you can hear me.
“What do you want, Saorla?”
Where are you? I can speak in your mind, but I cannot see you or find you. What glamour is this? What have you done?
I didn’t answer. I was impressed, though, that my father’s warding had worked against her so well.
I can always find the woman, you know. I can use her to make you tell me anything, to make you do whatever I wish.
“Not without Namid knowing about it. Now what is it you want?”
I want the woman. Not yours. She is nothing more than a cudgel I can use against you. But this other—you know which one I mean—her I want, and her children as well.
She didn’t mention the knife, and I thought better of admitting to her that I knew of it. “Well, that’s too damn bad.” I said it with enough force, but my heart was laboring, because I knew what her response would be. I should have expected this.
Do not be so quick to refuse me, she said in my mind, as if reading from a script I’d already memorized. You owe me a boon, and I choose now to demand its payment.
“I won’t give them to you. You can demand all you want, but I won’t do this. You want to use them, to make them soldiers in your army, and I won’t allow it.”
It is not for you to decide! Her words raged in my head like a storm. She might not have known where I was, but she could still lash at my mind with her power.
I winced, raised a hand to my temple.
You will bring her to me, and the children, or I will kill everyone who you hold dear. Your love, the dark-skinned woman you used to work with, your father.
I started to object, but she talked over me, her voice like thunder in my ears. Namid protects them, I know. He protects you, as well. But he does not know of our agreement, does he?
I could picture the cruel smile that met my silence.
I thought not. Defy me, and he shall learn of it. And once he does, he will be helpless to protect you or those you love. A promised boon is no small thing, Justis Fearsson. We have a bargain, truly sworn. Uphold your end of it, or face the consequences of breaking your promise to one such as I.
In the next instant she was gone from my head. I sensed her absence as forcefully as I had her presence. Nothing looked different; her voice was gone, of course, but even that wasn’t what told me she had withdrawn. It simply seemed that a weight had lifted, that my thoughts were once again my own.
I rubbed at my temple a second time; the shadow of a headache lingered, but most of the pain had vanished with her. I turned eastward. The moon hung low in the sky, white on blue and nearly full. Its pull on my thoughts was more gentle than Saorla’s had been, more kind. I’m not sure I’d ever thought of the approach of the full in such benign terms. I had a lot to figure out before the phasing began.
I stumbled back to the truck, trying to clear my thoughts.
“You all right?” Gracie asked as I drew near.
“Sure, I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine. You look sick.” She stepped in front of me, forcing me to stop. And then she laid the back of her hand against my forehead, the way my mom used to when she checked me for fever. “You feel cold.”
“Aren’t I supposed to? Cold and wet, like a puppy’s nose?”
That earned me a giggle from Emmy.
“Seriously, Fearsson, what’s up with you?”
“Don’t call me that.” I said it more sharply than I’d intended, but right now I really didn’t need anything that would make me equate her with Billie, even in the most superficial way.
“I’m sorry. Jay. Now tell me what’s going on.”
“There’s nothing—”
“I saw that you were talking. I couldn’t make out what you said, but your lips were moving and you seemed good and pissed. So I’d like to know who you were talking to and what it was you were saying.”
I managed not to flinch away from what I saw in her eyes. With the sun shining in them they were a deep, earthy brown. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”
“Generally speaking, I like to be the judge of that myself, especially when it concerns my children.”
She had a point, I suppose. And being embarrassed at my own fear and powerlessness didn’t seem like the best excuse for keeping her in the dark. I regarded the moon again.
“I was talking to Saorla.”
“Saorla,” she repeated, her eyes narrowing. “You’ve mentioned her. She’s the one . . . like a runemyste, only dark.”
“That’s her. She wants to know where we are, and she thought she’d try to scare me into telling her.”
“Scare you how?”
I met her gaze once more. “By threatening to kill all the people I care about.”
She stared back at me, clearly at a loss for words.
“I essentially told her to go to hell. I don’t know what the consequences of that will be. I’m hoping she understands that once those people are dead, she has nothing on me, so she’s better off letting them live and using the threat again and again. But she’s more than a little unhinged and I never know what she might do. So the next time you’re feeling sorry for yourself and want to tell me to mind my own business or remind me again of how little I know about you and your life, try to remember that I have a stake in this, too.”
Her cheeks colored and her lips thinned to a hard, flat line. But after a second, she nodded once and backed out of my way.
I walked around to the other side of the truck, and climbed in. She had already taken her seat and shut her door.
Saying nothing, I pulled out into the road once more and continued on to wherever the hell we were going next.
CHAPTER 15
We found a cheap motel along one of the state roads on the far side of Florence. The kids were ready to be out of the truck, and so was I. Using my dad’s credit card, I paid for two adjacent rooms, which weren’t hard to get. We were the only people there.
Gracie and I didn’t say much to each other, which was fine with me. I wanted a shower, a nap, and then I wanted to call Billie. Of course, nothing ever goes precisely according to what I want. My shower was short on water pressure and shorter still on hot water. I had a feeling that both rooms were working off of a single water heater, and almost as soon as I stepped into the shower, I heard Gracie run a bath for the kids next door.
And the walls were about as thick as one of my dad’s t-shirts, so my attempt at a nap didn’t go much better. The truth was, listening to Emmy and Zach laughing with their mom, I found it hard to stay mad for very long.
At least I had no trouble reaching Billie. She answered on the first ring.
“Fearsson?” She sounded worried.
For my part, all the resentment I’d felt after our previous conversation melted away at the sound of her voice.
“Yeah, it’s me. I’m okay. How are you doing?”
“I’m fine. Where are you? Or can’t you tell me yet?”
“We’re in the middle of nowhere. That’s probably all I should say.”
“But you’re all right? No problems?”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” I said. “I’m all right, but we did have a run-in with some of Saorla’s friends earlier today.” I didn’t mention my conversation with Saorla herself.
“So I guess this woman you’re protecting is still hot then, isn’t she?”
I knew she meant it as a joke, and that I should be able to see the humor, but just then I couldn’t. Her remark dovetailed uncomfortably with feelings I’d been wrestling with all afternoon.
“Fearsson? I was kidding.”
“I know. It’s been . . . We’ve had a long day. I wish I was there with you.” That was the truth. I wanted out of this whole mess.
“When do you think you can come home?”
“I’m not sure,” I said, unable to keep the weariness out of my voice. “We need to find a place where Gracie and her kids will be safe,” I said, no longer caring who could hear me. I needed to talk about it. With Billie. “A place where Saorla can’t find them.” And I don’t know if such a place exists.
I didn’t have to say this last for her to hear it. She was smart as hell, and she already knew me so well. “That doesn’t sound like it’ll be easy to find.”
“No, it doesn’t. Amaya wants me to bring them to him, but I don’t trust him to take care of them either. They’ve become these weapons that everyone seems to want. Weapons with a weapon.”
“I don’t understand,” she said. “What weapons are you talking about?”
“There’s only so much I can say right now. Gracie is powerful, and the daughter might be as well. She could be the wild card in all of this.”
Another squeal of laughter made me look at the wall separating my room from theirs.
“Anyway,” I went on. “I’m feeling a bit short on allies right now. And on top of that, I’m pretty certain that Kona still wants to arrest Gracie for a couple of murders.”
“Sounds like a fun trip.”
“Like a Caribbean cruise, but in the desert.”
“Do you need anything?”
“No, I called because I wanted to hear your voice.”
“I know that. I’m glad you did. But now I’m asking you: is there anything you need me to do? Anyone I should call, or anything I can bring you?”
As it happened, there were a few things I wished I had with me, but I didn’t want to drag Billie into this. Gracie was a weremyste, a skilled one. She was better off with me here to help her, but in a pinch, she could take care of herself and her kids. Billie was strong and smart and capable, but she couldn’t ward herself, and in a battle with Fitzwater or someone like him, I’d be so consumed with keeping her safe that I might endanger Gracie and the kids, or even myself.
“That’s a generous offer,” I said. “One I might accept in another day or two, but not yet.”
“All right. Let me know when.”
“I will. I love you.”
“Love you, too. Bye.”
She hung up. I clicked my phone shut, but continued to stare at it for a long time. At least this time we hadn’t ended our conversation with a fight. A knock on my door forced me to look up from the phone.
I stood and pulled it open. The room was so small, I didn’t have to take a step; I could reach the doorknob from the end of the bed.
Gracie stood before me, her hair damp and smelling of hotel shampoo. She glanced down at my phone, which I still held.
“I’m sorry, I thought you were off.”
“I am.” I slipped the phone into my pocket. “What can I do for you?”
“The kids and I are hungry; we’re wondering if you are, too.”
I wasn’t, but I knew I should eat.
“Sure. Did you have anything in mind?” I heard the flat tone of my voice. Apparently she did, too.
“I’m sorry about before,” she said. “About everything. You were right in what you said. I hadn’t stopped to consider that you’re taking a risk just by helping us. We’re grateful to you. I’m grateful.”
I nodded, looked away. “Thanks.”
I think she wanted to say more, but I wasn’t exactly making it easy for her. I wasn’t sure it was in anyone’s interest for us to get closer.
“I don’t think we’re going to find much food around here,” I said, making myself face her again. “But we passed a diner about twenty miles back. We can eat there.”
She inclined her head toward her room. “I think that if we try to put those two back in the pickup, they’ll mutiny. They’ll stake us to the ground. We’ll be a couple of Gullivers in the motel of the Lilliputians.”
I grinned at the image. “I know how they feel, but I’m not sure we should split up.”
Her expression hardened a bit. “I’ve taken care of them for a long time, without any help from you. I think we’ll be all right for an hour.”
I knew better than to argue the point. “Okay, I’ll drive there and pick up a few things. What do the kids like to eat?”
We walked to the next room, where the kids were parked in front of a small television, watching some cartoon. The picture wasn’t very good but they didn’t seem to mind too much. Emmy had her book in her lap and wasn’t paying close attention to the show. Zach held the zebra in one hand and sucked on the other thumb, his eyes glued to the screen.
I took their orders—a grilled cheese for Emmy, a plain burger with nothing on it but ketchup and mustard for Zach. Gracie surprised me by asking for some kind—any kind—of meat.
“A steak, a meatloaf. I don’t care. I’m sick of granola bars and pizza. I want some real food.”
“I’ll do what I can.”
I was no more eager than the kids for another drive, and it turned out to be closer to thirty miles each way than twenty. But the folks at the diner were willing to make everything we wanted, including a couple of nice New York strips for Gracie and me. Before long, I was back at the motel. The kids were still watching TV. Gracie was sitting outside the room with the door open, staring out at the road.
“What are you doing?” I asked, as I climbed out of the pickup with my bag of food.
“Keeping watch, enjoying a few minutes of down time, getting away from ‘Mister Magoo.’ Take your pick. What did you get me?”
“Eight-ounce strip steak and a baked potato. There’s even some sour cream to go with it.”
“Not bad! If there’s a bottle of wine in that bag, you just might get lucky later.”
I halted a few strides from where she sat, the smile on my lips dying.
Her cheeks had gone pale. “I’m sorry. I meant that as a joke. It was . . . I wasn’t serious. I used to say stuff like that to Neil. It slipped out.”
“It’s all right. Billie and I joke around that way, too.” I forced a smile. “Besides, no wine. We’re safe.”
“Right.” She stood, gave me one last awkward look, and stepped into the room. “Dinner’s here,” she said.
The kids cheered. I followed her inside, wishing I had accepted Billie’s offer.
Gracie and I hardly exchanged a glance over dinner. Fortunately, the kids didn’t notice. One of the four stations that came in clearly on the television was showing one of those animated movies with the talking toys, and they were content to eat and watch.
I bolted down my steak, wished them all a good night, and retreated to my room. It wasn’t fully dark yet; on a normal night I would have been up for another few hours. But I was tired, and I needed time alone. I hadn’t been in my room for two minutes, when again someone knocked on the door. Gracie no doubt.
She stood in the cool twilight air, her fleece zipped up to the neck, her arms crossed in front of her.
