That’s why I chose to be a mechanic. I wanted to make a difference in people’s lives. I always used to say if I could just get a car and get out of this place then I could make it. But even after I got a ride, I ended up staying around this town. It was if some otherworldly force was keeping me here. Originally, Denny was supposed to be the reason I stayed here, so we could live happily ever after.

  But now, as I look back on life I knew even back then that he would eventually get sicker and pass away, just like I will one day. The disease morphs and changes just like life. Sometimes you can postpone bad things from happening by being proactive, but other times you can’t see the dark clouds up ahead. Leo was teaching me that even good people go through struggles. He didn’t deserve any of this.

  He was silent as I loaded up the last bag of his things and stood in the doorway of his room. He was glancing around as if he were trying to capture the room like a photograph on still frames in his mind. The officer shouted from downstairs, “Are you guys ready to go up there?”

  I spoke softly, “Babe, the officer needs us to go.”

  He turned to me with sad eyes and nodded in silence. I would have done anything to take his pain away. With one last look he sighed and closed the door to his room. Once we were downstairs again, Leo asked the officer, “Do you think Martha’s daughter will let me come back?”

  The officer frowned, “I seriously doubt it kid; she was already muttering off a to-do list to an assistant while we were on the phone and one of the main things was calling listing agents here.”

  Leo lowered his head, stepped out onto the front porch and glanced around. In the corner, next to a lipstick stained coffee cup laid a pack of cigarettes, Misty Blue 120’s. Leo scrambled to them, grabbed the pack and took a breath. I was trying to figure out what he was doing when he met my gaze and whimpered, “They smell like her, can I have them?”

  I smirked, “You don’t smoke!”

  He flashed me a half smile, “No, I just want them to remember her and this place by.”

  The officer was still tending to business inside so I quipped, “Toss them to me!”

  I caught them and tucked them in the pocket of my jumpsuit. Then, I stretched out my hand to take his; we got in the truck, and drove away.

  In the days following Leo being asked to leave the house he shared with Martha, he started to fall deep into a depression. I was trying myself to adjust to having someone else in my house. I’m a pretty easy-going guy, it had just been a long time since I’d shared a place with someone. I wasn’t about to let my boy be homeless though.

  Since my house wasn’t far from where he lived with Martha, he still jogged the same route every morning. After work he would tell me of his attempts to find out when the funeral was going to be so he could go pay his respects. In the meantime, I had phoned Daryl to tell him about what happened with the accident. He was happy hear from me, but concerned the car was going to be more expensive to fix than it was worth.

  About three days after Leo had moved in, I had gotten off work early so I could take him out and try to lift his spirits a little. The day before, he had finally managed to speak with Charlene, Martha’s daughter. She had totally brushed him off and dismissed the relationship he and Martha had shared as just business. He was devastated. That night while I was preparing dinner for us he spoke to his mom on the phone. I was trying to give him some space and hoping they would be able to say something to comfort him but they just told him that he needed to come to Florida so he could start over again.

  I didn’t think he would listen to them, but the next day when I got home I knew something wasn’t right. The lights were off and all was quiet. I shouted, “I’m home baby boy,” but there was no answer. I tried to stay calm as I checked the bedroom, kitchen, and gym but there were no signs of him.

  I was starting to panic when I noticed a letter folded on the entryway table. My keys fell to the floor as I began to read it,

  Dear Billy,

  I’m so thankful and I can never repay you for everything you’ve done but there’s nothing left in this town for me. You have a business and a life of your own and I don’t want to get in your way. My father always said I was a danger to society and I don’t want to risk ruining what we have by taking advantage of you. So, I have to go…

  Maybe in another time we would have been able to make things work but I’d never be able to forgive myself if you started to resent me. You can sell my car for scrap; I’ve left the title in an envelope on your nightstand. I’ve taken what I can with me but unfortunately I couldn’t fit everything into my backpack, so you are welcome to donate anything left to a charity.

  We had a once in a lifetime love and for as long as I live I will never forget you. I’m taking a Greyhound to Florida where my parents are. I’ll be on the road for a few days so if you call me and I don’t answer please understand I’m not ignoring you I just need time to get my thoughts together and figure out where to go from here.

  Please don’t think this is because of your illness or that I don’t like you, because I do, so much it hurts.

  -Your baby boy, always and forever,

  Leo

  “No,” I whimpered as my hands began to tremble and sobs erupted from deep inside of me. I felt like I was going to throw up as I fell to my knees and held the letter close to my chest like a tourniquet; it felt like I had been shot in the heart. My sweet baby boy was gone and I didn’t even get the chance to tell him that I loved him or to say goodbye.

  The words repeated in my brain like a song, I love him. No, I wasn’t about to let the best thing that’s ever happened to me just walk away without a fight. Maybe there was still a chance I could catch him before the greyhound left. I tucked the letter into the pocket of my jumpsuit, grabbed my keys from the floor, stiffened my upper lip, then grabbed my coat as I raced out the door.

  Anything in this life that is worth having is worth fighting for and if I have to drive all the way to Florida to get my boy back then so be it. I’d drive a thousand miles, cross a hundred seas, hike the tallest mountain on the earth, and pull the moon from the sky to have him in my arms again.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  The Mechanic’s Fix

  I kept glancing at the entrances secretly hoping Billy would come after me. But I imagined he was pretty upset that I didn’t even say goodbye in person. Like Martha always said, I always run away. I guess it’s a defense mechanism for me to retreat. Leave them before they leave you kind of thing.

  The defining moment that led to my decision happened the day before yesterday when I finally managed to talk to Charlene. Everything Martha said about her was right; she was a cold, calculated, woman who only cared about herself.

  I had already determined that I’d never be able to go back to the way things were. I guess I was still grieving and hoping somehow Charlene might let me stay for a while longer and keep paying rent, but when I saw the for-sale sign on the front lawn I realized it could never be.

  As I spoke to her she stared at me with haughty disgust. I obviously wasn’t the type of person she thought was worth her time. I moved right past the possibility of moving back into Martha’s house and asked when the funeral was going to be so I could pay my respects.

  She pursed her lips and replied, “I’ve chosen to have my mother cremated and take her back to San Francisco with me. There will be no funeral. No one of importance would come.”

  I tried to hold back my tears as I replied, “Okay.” Then I turned and walked away.

  Billy was at work when I got home and I didn’t want to bother him so I called my mom. The other night while he was making dinner for us, my mother had offered to send me the money for a Greyhound ticket so I could come live with them.

  Initially, I had decided not to take her offer but after being alone all day and not having anything to occupy my time I reconsidered. Billy had told me that I didn’t need to work, but I’m so young and I’m not ready to just sit back and be a house boy. He had his work to keep him busy, but the only thing I had left was him.

  The announcement came over the intercom, “Now boarding for Tennessee, Georgia, and Florida. Please have your ticket ready upon boarding.”

  I checked the entrances one more time and squeezed out a tear as I threw on my backpack and made my way to board. I was numb as the bus driver checked my ticket and I stepped on board. We stayed parked for a moment as he loaded the bags into the bottom. I had managed to find a window seat in the back and as I gazed out I swore I saw Billy’s truck peel into the bus station, but I shook my head and turned away; it would have been too good to be true.

  **

  I sped into the parking lot and ran as fast as I could to the ticket counter. The lady working looked a little disturbed by my abrupt entrance and mumbled, “Can I help you?”

  I shouted, “Has the bus going to Florida left yet?”

  “They just boarded.” She said.

  I slammed my fists on the counter, “No, damnit!”

  She pointed toward the loading area, “You might still be able to catch it if you hurry.”

  My eyes widened and I took off running toward the place where the buses were. I could feel my heart pounding, I was going to make it. But just as I made it to the door, the bus started to pull away. I ran after it shouting, “No, please wait, the other half of my heart is on that bus!”

  I was too late. I fell to my knees and wept as it disappeared down the street.

  **

  It was going to be a long trip so I put in my earbuds and tried to get lost in my music until my next stop but all of my thoughts and dreams were filled with Billy. I remembered him staring down at me when I fell over that rack of windshield wipers in his shop and I smiled.

  I remembered the morning he shouted at me while I was jogging and showing up on my route. The first time we touched and kissed in the alley behind the little bistro and the night we made love on that dusty red corvette. I was starting to cry again when I remembered I had taken one of Billy’s jumpsuits to remember him by. I unzipped my backpack and held it close to me. I could smell his masculine cologne on it and I took it in.

  The drive through Kentucky seemed to go on forever. The bus stopped a few times for a break and to let some people off in very rural areas. I observed an Amish girl get off and grab her suitcase from the driver. Her husband was waiting for her with open arms and I started to weep, longing to be in Billy’s arms again.

  Upon crossing the border into Tennessee, I checked my ticket. The next stop was in Nashville where I would have a brief layover before boarding the bus for Birmingham, Alabama. It was dark outside now, my mind kept drifting to what Billy was doing right now. I didn’t know but the possibilities were all too painful to continue dwelling on so I turned my music back on and drifted to sleep again.

  **

  Once I had regained my composure after missing Leo’s bus I rushed back to the check in counter. It was desperate and insane but I had an idea. The lady at the counter could tell I was distraught when I asked, “Miss, that bus that left for Florida about an hour ago; does it have any layovers or stops nearby?”

  She frowned, “I’m not really supposed to disclose that information for safety and security reasons.”

  I stiffened my upper lip as I tried to contain my emotions, “Please miss, someone I love very much is on that bus and I can’t let them leave without telling them goodbye.”

  She looked misty-eyed for a moment and leaned in, “It has a fifty-minute layover in Nashville; if you hurry you might can make it.”

  She checked her watch, “They should have just crossed the Tennessee state line.”

  I thanked her and rushed to my truck. Once I was on the interstate, I saw the signs that read 65 South to Nashville. It was the hit I needed to step on the gas. As I did I gritted my teeth and said, “I’m coming for you baby boy. Sometimes you got to do something crazy to get what you want.”

  **

  The bus pulled into the Nashville Greyhound Station as the driver announced it on the intercom. I was elated to finally be stopping. I was tired, nauseous from hunger, and stiff from riding in that uncomfortable seat. I wasn’t halfway through with my journey but I wanted so desperately for this nightmare to end.

  Once I was inside, I made my way to the restroom, then to charge my phone. The battery was going dead from listening to music. I was feeling a little disheartened that Billy hadn’t tried to call. The brief thought invaded my mind that maybe he didn’t love me as much as I loved him. It hurt too much to acknowledge that it might be true so I closed my eyes and tried to snap out of it.

  Next, I made my way to the little cafeteria/snack bar and searched for something to eat. It was late in the evening so the hot food area was closed. Still, they had machines with microwaveable meals inside and I briefly entertained purchasing one until I saw the price. So, I opted to just wait for now.

  It was nearly time for me to board my next bus; the one that would take me all the way to Birmingham, Alabama which would be the halfway mark on my trip. A few minutes passed and the announcement finally came, “All passengers going to Alabama or Florida please have your boarding pass ready.”

  I stood, took a ragged sigh, and began to walk mechanically toward the buses. Only fifteen more hours then I would be in Florida with mom and dad. I knew they would be happy to see me, but I would never be the same again. Martha took a piece of my heart when she died, then I left another piece with Billy. I didn’t have much left. One thing was for sure, I could never love again the way I loved him, my mechanic daddy.

  **

  I peeled into the Nashville Greyhound station hopped up on caffeine. I had stopped at a gas station back in Kentucky and gotten a couple of cups of coffee to keep up my energy. Technically, someone in condition really shouldn’t be making cross country road trips to try and track down a boy, but I would have rather died trying than to have left things the way they were.

  I rushed inside and searched for him but the buses had started to board. I was starting to panic. I didn’t come this far to lose him again. Then, I saw him. I sprinted toward the place where passengers were waiting to get on. He was showing the driver his pass and I shouted, “Leo!”

  I was too far away for him to hear me over the crowds. I was running as fast as I could, pushing people to the side, whatever I needed to do to get to him. “Leo…! Leo…! Leo…!”

  I continued shouting as I got closer. My heart sank as the last passenger boarded and the driver stepped up into the bus. The doors closed and it started to pull away. I was trying to grab it with my hands as I begged, “Please! Please Wait!”

  But my hands just slid down the cold metal. So, I began pounding on the side of the bus with my fists. With despair in my voice I shouted again, “No! Stop! Please Don’t Go! I love you!”

  **

  I was staring out the window with my earbuds in when commotion broke out on the bus. The lady sitting next to me pointed and shouted, “There’s someone chasing the bus!”

  I pulled out my earbuds and looked down. It was Billy and he met my gaze. I could hear his muffled pleas, “Stop the bus! Stop the bus!”

  I stood and shouted, “Driver stop,” and it began to slow down. The lady next to me shifted to let me out as I pushed past her and ran to the front. The driver snarled, “What is the meaning of this; we’re not supposed to stop the bus for anything once it is in motion.”

  I cried out, “That’s my boyfriend, he came all the way from Indiana to get me!

  The driver reluctantly stopped, opened the door, and I bolted out of the bus and into the parking lot. Billy had finally stopped running and was frozen in time when our eyes met. “What on earth are you doing here Billy?”

  He was breathless as he replied, “I came to get my boy back!”

  I whined, “Oh Billy,” and started running toward him.

  He held open his arms and I crashed into to him. When our bodies made contact, he lifted me off the ground and spun me around, “You don’t know how far I would have gone just to feel you in my arms again.”

  I buried my face in his neck, “I didn’t want to go.”

  He mumbled, “It’s okay baby boy, Billy’s got you now and I’m never going to let you go again.”

  We held for a moment longer before separating and as we did, my eyes danced with confusion, “But how did you find me here?”

  He smiled, “I begged the agent at Greyhound to tell me where the next stop was.”

  “So, you drove all the way here for me?”

  He glanced down, then lifted his eyes to meet mine again, “People do crazy things when they are in love.”

  Before I could ask another question, he silenced me with a kiss, a long sensual kiss that answered the question I was going to ask him. He pulled away and pushed my bangs to the side with his hand. He was about to say something else when the bus driver stepped out and shouted, “We ain’t got all night.”

  I turned to him and smirked, “Well I do, and every night for the rest of my life.”

  Billy mumbled, “You heard the boy; carry on!”

  The driver stepped back inside, closed the door behind him and drove away.

  He grabbed my hand and puffed out his chest proudly, “Now, what do you say we go home?”

  I looked away but didn’t respond, prompting him to ask, “Is everything okay baby boy? I thought you’d be happy I came all this way just to get you.”

  I sighed and met his gaze, “Oh Billy, chasing me down just to bring me home is one of the craziest and sweetest things that anyone has ever done for me but everything is not okay.”

 

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