The Ahern Brothers Collection, page 61
“Your mom said I should bring those three with me just in case,” I explain, marching toward her.
I bend and give her the first one.
“These are beautiful,” she says, pulling the ornaments out of the tissue paper. “Baby’s first Christmas.”
I made them for her, for our babies. Two snowflakes, they’re similar but not the same.
She looks up at me, her eyes glistening with tears that she’s about to shed. “They’re perfect.”
I pick up the next present. This time she shreds the wrapping paper and smiles at the ornament of two tangled snowflakes. “Our first Christmas.”
“How did you know I’d love this? They’re my favorite ornaments.”
I gather her into my chest, kissing her. “You’re my favorite. Everything about you is what gives me joy. I couldn’t ask for a better present or a better life.”
Brushing a kiss against her lips, I pull out the velvet box and drop to one knee.
“Sterling,” she says my name with fear in her voice. “No, you don’t have to.”
“I know, but I want to with all my heart.” I slide the ring onto her finger. It fits just perfect. “Have I mentioned that as an artist I observe and learn more than people give me credit for?”
She nods slowly.
“I learned to trust you with my heart, that the only reason I’ve never found love is because I hadn’t met you. For this relationship to work, I have to give you everything without expecting anything back. I’m afraid enough to have the courage to ask you to be mine forever. I can’t live without you.”
“I love you so much, Sterling Ahern. I never thought this much happiness could be within my reach. That I would fall so madly in love so fast and feel so … alive. I can’t live without you either,” she confesses and begins to cry.
“Don’t cry, beautiful girl.” I rise up and hug her. “You’re never going to lose me. I’m yours forever.”
“You and our babies are the best Christmas present I could’ve ever asked for, I just can’t believe it’s actually happening.”
I kiss her until her arms are entwined around my neck.
“We’re in this for the long run, right?”
“Yes, we are,” she says.
My heart jackhammers against my rib cage, yet I’m filled with a sense of righteous calmness I’ve never had in my life. We’re enough to make each other happy. This isn’t contentment, it’s happiness and a sense of fulfillment. My heart is finally full.
I sway her against my body as we stare at the Christmas tree and the nativity set I made for her. The last few days, I’ve spent my time in the studio creating what I thought would bring a smile. Maybe in fifty years we’ll be decorating for our grandchildren with these same ornaments and wouldn’t it be amazing to tell them the story of how the most wonderful woman in the world taught me that love really exists.
“I love you,” I whisper. “With all my heart.”
Epilogue
Sterling
A Year Later …
June hated surprises. Her life is full of them. That was until her twelve-week checkup. The doctor recommended a second sonogram. Her belly was bigger than the gestational age of the babies. Surprise, they didn’t detect the third fetus during the first sonogram.
There’s a joke going around about Jack and Em trying to have quadruplets to outdo us.
Our time together has been full of surprises and we are ready for more.
We married in February, in France, at a cute château in Midi-Pyrenees. It was an intimate ceremony. We celebrated with our families and our closest friends.
In mid-July, our babies arrived. Violet, Vaughn, and Vanessa. Like their mom, they stole my heart the moment I held them.
James and Aria live close by, but some nights they stay in the guest room to help us. Raising our babies is a team effort. However, they also spend time with Marianne, Caroline, and Blake, Jason’s son.
Wes and Abby visit us often and have been embraced by the Spearman family too. We’re so close that the entire family spent Thanksgiving in Tahoe. My brother hosted it and Ari helped organize everything.
I can’t remember how life was before June and her family came into my life. She changed everything, including my priorities.
This year the house is the North Pole. I bet Santa might want to copy the light design Wes helped me create.
Our little ones turned five months old a couple of weeks ago. They came to change my life, teach me more than I’ve learned through my travels, and keep me awake all fucking night. But I adore them.
“God, I don’t think I’m going to stay awake for long,” June mumbles, biting her lip. “What are we having for dinner?”
I laugh and stare at her.
“Stop staring like that, your son is eating and you’re thinking about s-e-x.”
“Lucky baby.” I bend, securing the girls who are sleeping in my arms, and kiss her. “Let me set the princesses in their crib. I’ll help you with him once you’re done. Maybe we can whip something up if you really don’t want to go to Jack’s tonight.”
She shakes her head. “It’s okay. We can’t skip it. I’m just tired. Hooray for teething.”
June laughs and I join. We’re bone-tired but I don’t think we’d do anything differently. Maybe how we celebrate this year.
We split the holiday. Christmas Eve is at Jack’s, breakfast at Jason’s, and we have dinner tomorrow in the house. June has everything ready for tomorrow, including catering. She’s learned that with three kids, it’s best if she just uses her resources instead of trying to look like a superstar. She is a superstar, I’m just proud of her for learning to enjoy what matters.
“Remind me to only have one kid the next time you knock me up,” she says and I freeze.
“What did you say?”
She shrugs. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have a couple more babies?”
“You SOB, this is all your fault. I’m never having s-e-x with you,” I repeat the words she said during labor and smirk. “So far you’ve broken the no touching you rule—several times. And now we want another one.”
“Not now,” she says, as if that makes a difference. “Later, in a couple of years. It’ll be like my brothers and us. We are so close that we are best friends.”
I shake my head and take Vaughn from her arms, set him on the left side of my chest, snuggling close to me, smoothing his back. When I fell in love with June, I never knew it could be such a strong feeling that could overpower anything. My kids though, they taught me that the love I have for their mother is nothing compared to what I feel for them.
My biggest hope is that I can be a good father to them. That we can become friends and they can come to me for anything.
June keeps telling me how I have to let the fear of being my father go and just enjoy my relationship with our kids. She’s right and I’m working hard to be who they need and not what I wanted my father to be for me.
“Let’s take a nap,” I suggest as I set my son in the crib.
When I turn around, she’s looking at me. My breath still catches when I see her. She’s beautiful, sexy, and mine. The best present I’ve ever received in my entire life.
I
June
Christmas Day is always magical. This morning isn’t any different. I feel like a child who just got the best present from Santa. It is. I am in the arms of the most amazing man in the world. Not only that, next year we’ll be a family of four. I caress my belly.
A few weeks ago, I asked myself why Sterling had come into my life. The answer was so simple. He came to stay. To complete me. To create a family with me. I’m so happy that I want to go outside and yell at the top of my lungs that I’m engaged. What’s stopping me?
The beautiful winter wonderland outside makes me want to stay in the house until next summer.
I rather stay in bed with my fiancé forever. The thought escapes me when nausea hits me, and I have to run to the bathroom.
It’s true what they say, nothing in this world is free. According to Em, I should be vomit free by the end of the first trimester.
When I come out, Sterling is holding a glass of cold water with ginger and lime.
“Morning, babe,” he greets me. “How are you feeling?”
I shrug. “Pukey as usual.”
He chuckles. “Let’s take a shower so we can go to your brother’s.”
This year is Jackson’s turn to host Christmas, starting from breakfast to dinner. I think next year we should split that. Jason’s baby will be here in May. It’s going to be my nephew’s first Christmas too.
Sterling lends one of his cars to Alex so he can drive my parents. Jason and Eileen drive their vehicle to Jack’s place.
“I thought this year was the worst in my entire life, and suddenly, it became one of the best years. Not including the next one when we get to meet our babies,” I say excitedly.
“Speaking of next year,” Sterling says, reaching for my hand and kissing my knuckles. “I have an exhibit in Paris. If the doctor says you can travel, I’d love it if you can join me. Maybe we can spend the month of February traveling around Europe.”
“What if we can’t travel?”
“Then, I’ll cancel it,” he states. “My family comes first.”
“Tomorrow I can call and see what they say,” I stop him before he changes his life drastically. I understand that we’ll have to adjust to our new life, but it has to be gradual. “I remember Em traveling when she was pregnant with the girls. Eileen and Jason are leaving for Hawaii tomorrow. She’s five months pregnant.”
“We’ll do what’s best for you guys,” he insists.
I love that he’s concerned about our wellbeing. This relationship has to work both ways. Since he’s taking care of me, I have to look after him too.
“Speaking of family…I’d love to meet yours.” I hope this is okay. We haven’t talked about them since that time when they were supposed to have dinner with us. He needs to have his family close too. I understand why he keeps to himself, but this reunion is overdue, isn’t it?
“I talked to them last night,” Sterling announces. “It was just a quick call so I could watch Lance open the present I sent him. I hope you don’t mind, but I asked them to spend New Year’s with us.”
His last statement is just what I expected to hear.
“That’d be great. We can organize a big party, like the ones Mom used to throw when we were younger.”
“Well, there’s a catch,” he says. “Lance’s birthday is on the thirtieth, so we’ll have to fly to Tahoe and then come back.”
“That’ll be great. We have to find the perfect present for him.”
“He’s just turning four,” he says, calmly. “He gets more excited with a box of crayons than a toy. That’s the beauty of children his age. They are easy to please.”
“Still, I want to make a good impression,” I insist. “Mom and Dad can get the New Year’s Eve party organized. They are extending their stay.”
“You could bring them over,” he suggests.
“Trust me, it’s best if we ease them into the Spearman clan slowly.” I wink at him, but I doubt he can see me.
He’s focused on the road. It snowed last night, and everything looks lovely. The beauty comes at a cost. The streets are snow-packed. I’ve learned that most of the cities only clean the main roads. If we decide to stay in Colorado, I will have to learn to drive in the snow. Maybe going back to Cali isn’t a bad idea.
“During a big party,” he chuckles. “That’s a great idea. By the way, I’ll make sure to mark your luggage in case someone else tries to play with your toys.”
I laugh. I can’t believe he remembers about Leo and his wife. God, that was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I’m thankful for it, though. It seems like it was one of the events that led me to Sterling. To us.
“Do you need any help planning the wedding?” Mom asks as she looks at my hand with excitement.
“For now, we’re thinking about doing it after the babies are born,” I answer. “A wedding takes time. I have to find the right venue. The dress is never going to be right because I’m going to be growing…a lot.”
“I know someone who can get you just the right dress,” Eileen offers, then amends, “But you do this at your own pace. It’s about what feels right. Never do it for others.”
She smiles at me. That’s kind of what I told her when my parents were pressuring them to get married. Jason met Eileen while they organized our cousin’s wedding. After said wedding, they just moved in together. Mom was on their case.
I told them to take their time. If it wasn’t right for them, they could live together forever as long as they were happy. Though, last August they invited us to their house. It was a surprise wedding they organized. Family and close friends. I think that’s one of my favorite weddings. Maybe when I’m ready, I’ll do something similar.
Caroline and Marian are opening the presents from Santa. I think Jackson is more excited about it than they are. I’m so happy to see him smile and enjoy the moment. He’s still a little hard around the edges, but when it comes to his family, he’s a softy.
“You okay?” Sterling murmurs in my ear.
I nod and smile at him.
“What are you thinking?”
“I’m happy because my family is happy,” I say, but maybe I’m speaking too soon.
Alex is the only one single. When I walk toward him, he puts his phone away.
“Everything okay?”
He shrugs. “All is cool, are you…?” His gaze lingers toward Sterling. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
“I love him,” I assure him. “It’s crazy, I know, but he’s who I need. We should find you someone,” I say, casually.
“You don’t need to fix me up with anyone, June,” he responds. “I’m okay.”
Is he? I tried to introduce him to Hannah. I thought they’d be perfect for each other, but she can’t stand him. And he doesn’t like to be around her.
Maybe I should just let him find happiness on his own. If there’s something I learned is that love happens when you least expect it.
II
Sterling
My life has had a lot of ups and downs. My parents weren’t cruel to me, but their disdain hurt. I guess adults don’t take into consideration the feelings of their children. They just think they’re resilient. Someone should write a book explaining how kids are humans with feelings. That even when they look like they can bounce back, they don’t. They’re not made of rubber.
Though, I should be thankful. Because of them, I learned to stand on my own.
I thought I knew how to live my life. It was in a way perfect, until it wasn’t. I had loved it before Juniper Spearman came into my life. Now it’s perfect. It was missing someone, maybe everything, to make it right. It was because I hadn’t met the love of my life.
When I met her, I thought that was the best day of my life. It’s one of the best, but not the best. I have a hunch that there will be many others that will make me feel like things can’t get any better. Today is one of them.
I stand by a gazebo, watching her walk toward me. My heart explodes with emotion. She’s the most beautiful woman in the world. I can’t imagine my life without her. I barely remember how it was before I heard her over the phone, asking for the house, or when she was talking at the restaurant about her mishappens.
She smiles brightly as her father talks to her. I’m sure he’s giving her some last-minute advice. He’s probably telling her that she can still run. I hope she doesn’t. She tosses her head and laughs before they begin to walk toward me.
“Hi,” she greets me as they reach the end of the aisle.
“You look gorgeous, baby,” I whisper as I kiss her cheek.
“You clean up well, Ahern.” She winks at me, stretching her neck and giving me a peck on the lips.
“Take care of each other,” James says, giving us a warm smile.
“Thank you, sir, for trusting me with your daughter.” I nod.
The ceremony is just like many others, but we choose to switch from conventional to writing our own when it comes to our vows. I pull the paper where they are written out of my pocket.
“I can’t pinpoint the exact moment when I fell in love with you. It could’ve been at the restaurant when I saw you for the first time, later that night, or maybe even before that. The day your soul and mine met before we came into this world. All I know is that I can’t picture my life without you.
“Thank you for accepting me the way I am. For teaching me how to accept every piece of myself that I forgot existed. Thank you for being you and for giving me your heart. I promise to protect it. We have a bright future with three little ones that I hope are as extraordinary as their mother. All I want is to grab your hand and run toward our future. I can’t wait to spend a lifetime of adventures with you. A life where I get to love you, safeguard our family, and make you happy every single day.”
She laughs and sniffs. Hannah hands her a handkerchief.
“You promised you wouldn’t make me cry,” she chuckles between sobs. Then, she looks at everyone. “Sorry, hormones.
“I always thought that to obtain something, you needed to work hard for it—even love. You proved me wrong. You showed me that love is something that you can’t plan. It comes at the right time, with the right person. Everything that we’ve lived through has brought us to this precise moment, the one where we promise forever.
“The moment when I promise to hold onto your hand and live by the moment. When I swear I’ll trust you, and I’ll try not to schedule every second of our lives. The one where I thank you for loving me even when I have to plan the next eighteen years of our lives. I love you with all my heart. Thank you for making my dreams come true and for inviting me to be your life companion. Your partner.”
I kiss her nose and wipe a few tears with my thumb.
