Seducing the Sheriff of Nottingham, page 54
part #5 of A Kinda Fairytale Series
She thought she could use that tracking spell Trevelyan had put on him to guide her back to the castle, but it didn’t seem to be working. Fucking dragon. She was going to kick his ass, when she finally got out of here. But, if she ran in a straight line, sooner or later she’d reach the edge of the forest, right? And if that didn’t work, she’d wait until night and try to navigate her way by stars. She knew a little bit about constellations, because back at the WUB Club she’d met a Titan named Astraea who was amazing at…
“Marion, where in the frozen-hells are you?” A very annoyed dragon bellowed.
Her head whipped around. “Trev?” She stopped running, shocked that he was still in the forest. She’d expected him to be off spending Robin’s gold. She instantly forgave him for screwing up the tracking spell. “I’m over here.”
“Stay where you are.” The dragon shouted from somewhere in the thick grove of trees to her left. “I’ll come to you.”
“You will?”
“As long as it doesn’t take too long. I’m not spending all day in this jungle, hunting around in the bushes for you. I don’t like you that much.”
That sounded just like something Trevelyan would say.
Except the longer she carried the amulet around in her pocket, the more she understood the different powers it was sensing. The dragon’s magic was constant and strong. Very strong. The pendant went crazy whenever he was near. The Wraith’s magic, on the other hand, was more like a buzz. That was why she hadn’t realized L.J. and the Wraith were the same person. Trevelyan’s colossal magic just overpowered everything else, like a roar drowning out a whisper.
And the necklace wasn’t roaring.
She froze, but her mind kept racing. “I thought you left Nottingham, Trev.”
“And miss your wedding? You know I’d never do that. There’s a dance floor made of magic mirrors.”
Bullshit. The real Trevelyan wouldn’t care about his own wedding, let alone someone else’s. Dragons didn’t respect outside authority. No one else got to declare them legally wed. They decided they were married. The end. They might roll their eyes and tolerate a formal ceremony, but they considered it superfluous. No way would Trevelyan stay in Nottingham just to watch Marion marry Nicholas, regardless of the grand spectacle she’d created. No goddamn way.
That wasn’t Trevelyan talking to her.
“We have to hurry and get you out of here.” The fake-Trevelyan told her, drawing closer. “Keep talking so I can find you.”
Marion’s hand tightened on the handle of the hammer. Never mind. She’d just kill the bastard now and get it over with. The Wraith thought it was tricking her, pretending to be her kinda-sorta friend, but she was about to turn the tables on that miserable face-stealing fuck.
“I’m right over here.” She called grimly, bracing herself to fight.
“Marion!”
Nicholas’s voice sounded from the other direction. Marion’s heart jumped. The Wraith couldn’t impersonate gargoyles, so that was really him!
“Nick!” Relief and worry swamped her, as she raced for him. The huge skirt of her wedding dress slowed her down again, but it didn’t stop her. Nothing would stop her from reaching her husband, before the Wraith somehow murdered him all over again. She shot a quick glance over her shoulder, making sure the monster wasn’t following her…
And ran into a big stone wall.
The air rushed out of her lungs, as she collided with an immovable object that suddenly appeared in her path. Losing her balance, she started to fall. One huge hand caught her, pulling her close. And she knew who’d captured her.
Who always captured her.
“Nick.” His name came out like a prayer. She’d found him and now everything would be okay. Together they could face anything. She smiled up at his handsome, comforting, familiar features…
…And instantly knew it wasn’t her True Love.
She would know the really real Nicholas anywhere and this wasn’t him. The eyes were flat. Cold. Wrong. Pinocchio had been lying. Wraiths could impersonate gargoyles. She was looking right at one.
Marion felt the blood drain from her cheeks.
The monster wearing her husband’s face slowly smiled at her. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to kill you. Who the hell do you think you are, trying to interfere with my plans?”
“I’m Marion, the one-and-fucking-only.”
What happened next was born from countless hours of barbarian fight training. You struck hard and you fought dirty. No hesitation. That centaur rule for survival had been drilled into her brain so many times that her body just reacted.
Marion slammed the hammer into the fake-Nicholas’ temple with all her strength. The Wraith reared back with an astonished curse, releasing its hold on her and gripping its wound. She had hit it so hard that pus-like blood gushed from the injury, pouring down its chest in a thick, sticky cascade.
For just a moment, Marion thought she had won and the creature would topple over dead. Instead, the Wraith gave its head a clearing shake and righted itself. Its not-quite-right gaze focused on her, glowing with pure hatred.
Marion took a step backwards, her heart pounding. The hammer had not killed it. It hadn’t even stunned it. It had just pissed it off.
Pinocchio, you damn little liar.
“What did Robin see in you, human?” The Wraith hissed at her in Nicholas’ voice.
Marion swallowed hard. “Robin didn’t actually care about me and I certainly don’t care about him. You impersonated me, so you know my thoughts. You see that I’m crazy about Nick.”
“Crazy? You should experience the inside of the gargoyle’s head, if you want to see crazy.” The Wraith spat out. “His obsession for you is absolutely insane. Everything you’ve ever done is taking up space in here. I now know what kind of jam you like on your toast and what your sneeze sounds like. I even know that he fantasizes about kidnapping you at your wedding, ripping the dress off you, and fucking you every way a two-legged body bends.”
Hopefully, she’d lived to experience that.
The Wraith was spiraling. “How could you want this depraved creature over Robin? I don’t understand. Robin was so perfect. A hero!”
“Oh, Robin treated us both like crap.” Marion shot back. “That’s why you killed him, remember?”
“I loved him and he used me!” The fake-Nicholas’ face crumpled in distress and loss. “He was going to leave me to rot, while he went on with his happy life. You could never understand what that kind of betrayal feels like.”
“I get wanting revenge on the people who hurt you. Believe me.” Marion tried reaching out to the heartbroken creature in front of her, because she suddenly understood it, all too well. “Forget Robin. You can still find your True Love. Once you have them, you’ll find a purpose beyond just…”
“I’ll never forget Robin!” The Wraith shrieked, cutting her off. “Just like how I’ll never forget that you turned him against me, you man-stealing whore!” It lunged for her.
Marion scrambled away, trying to think of some new plan. What the hell was she going to…?
“Marion.” Nicholas suddenly said from behind her. “Move.”
Marion moved. She didn’t even think about it. Nicholas’ really real voice sounded and she instinctively shifted to the side, trusting him to protect her.
She was still facing the Wraith, looking straight into its wrong eyes, as Nicholas calmly lifted the Oak Major 1000. The repeating crossbow might have been too big for human soldiers to carry around, but it fit gargoyles’ larger size just fine.
Nicholas had finally found a bow he could fire.
For a man untrained in archery, he was a quick study. The red laser scope of the weapon helped him aim and his large fingers seemed to have no issue with the trigger. He smashed it down, as arrows flew straight through the fake-Nicholas’ heart.
At least, Marion assumed that its heart was in its chest and Nicholas had hit it. Who knew the exact anatomy of a cricket? Nicholas seemed to have the same thought, because he kept shooting and shooting and shooting until the massive automatic bow finally clicked empty. In a matter of seconds, steel-tipped arrows covered the fake-Nicholas’ entire body. At least a dozen of them went right through to the other side of its torso, turning it into a grotesque pincushion.
Marion cringed. Even knowing it wasn’t really her True Love, it was hard to see anything that looked like Nicholas suffering.
Nicholas himself seemed fine with it. Maybe he wasn’t thrilled with the phony-him professing his love for Robin Hood. Nicholas really had detested the man. He tossed the Oak Major 1000 aside and calmly pulled a sword, in case he had to kill his doppelganger some more.
There was no need.
The Wraith was dying. Its body morphed back into its bug-like state, as if by reflex. Spindly limbs curled up against its torso, its long antenna twitching like crazy. Bulbous eyes rolled this way and that. A final spasm shook it and the Wraith toppled backwards on the forest floor. White blood poured out of its countless wounds. A wheezing breath escaped its mandibles and then there was nothing but eerie calm.
It was over.
Marion slowly turned to look at her husband.
Nicholas grunted. “That was the first time I ever shot an arrow.”
“You did great for a virgin.” Even to Marion’s ears, her voice sounded very far away.
Nicholas gave a slow smile, closing the distance between them. “Are you alright?” He ran his wonderfully rough hands over her looking for injuries. “Are you hurt?”
“No… I… Robin took me from my room and said he wanted me to marry him.” She was breathless from running and fighting and from her wild emotions. “I told him no. I’m married to you. And then the Wraith ate his head.”
Nicholas paused in his desperate sweep of her body. “His head got eaten? That’s what happened to it?”
“Yes! The Wraith was going to eat me, too. But you saved me.” Marion could hardly believe he was there. He looked incredible. Invincible. “You came for me.” There was wonder in her voice and he heard it.
“Did you think I wouldn’t?” He seemed mildly exasperated.
“No, I knew you’d save me. I did.” She swallowed. “But, then some small part of me thought maybe you’d believe the note. Maybe, you’d just forget about me.” Belated tears filled her eyes, even though her worries had been illogical and she knew that. “Or maybe you’d see it was too dangerous to come.”
“Marion.” He cupped her face with his palms, his expression grave. “I would come for you, if it meant my own death.” It was the surest vow he’d ever given her. “I would fight for you until I died… and I would die thinking only of you.”
A tear traced down her cheek and he brushed it away with his thumb.
Deep inside, Marion knew she could’ve come up with a plan and beaten the Wraith all by herself. Maybe. …But she didn’t have to. She didn’t have to do anything alone, ever again. She could always count on her True Love.
“I love you.” Marion whispered.
Nicholas’ mouth curved. “I loved you first.”
She gave a watery laugh. “Well, I knew we were True Loves first.”
“No. I knew you were my True Love, even when I thought it was impossible for a gargoyle to have one.” Nicholas kissed her and the world was right again. “Because, you are the only one I will ever truly love.” He must have found her plastic tiara somewhere in the woods, because he gently placed it on her head.
Marion was thrilled to have it back. “You have completely won yourself a fair Maid.” She assured him, feeling better by the minute. “All of a sudden, I’m even swooning over archery. That was amazing! How did you know that would work? Pinocchio said arrows didn’t work on Wraiths.”
“Anything Pinocchio says, I believe the opposite.” Nicholas scoffed. “Kill it with a fucking hammer? No, I told you that was bullshit, didn’t I?”
She thought for a beat. “Except, I once called you a big, blunt hammer, remember? And you killed the Wraith.” She shrugged. “So, maybe Pinocchio saw something…”
“Or maybe Pinocchio’s just a duplicitous scumbag.” Nicholas interrupted. “I should have hanged him, long ago.” Releasing Marion, he stalked over to ensure the Wraith wasn’t regenerating by casually hacking off its head.
Marion winced a bit. Witnessing two decapitations in one day seemed excessive.
Satisfied that the Wraith wouldn’t spring back to life, Nicholas stepped away from the corpse. “Now, we’ll have the men burn it to a crisp, just to be sure it’s dead. That seemed to finish off the last one in Lyonesse.”
Marion wrinkled her nose. “You’re ruining the romance of the moment, Nick.”
He sent her a baffled look. “Romance?”
“You’ve heroically slayed the fearsome monster.” It was literally the deadest thing she’d ever seen and she’d done time with a necromancer. “Now, we’re moving on to the part of the visualization exercise where the most heroic bastard in Nottingham sweeps me off my feet. Not to be all Maidenly, but I’m very much looking forward to it.”
His expression softened and he returned to her side. “Me too.” Before she knew what was happening, he’d lifted her into his arms.
Marion grabbed hold of his shoulders, as he cradled her against his chest. “Very heroic.” She told him, feeling safer than she had in her whole life. “This is exactly what you did after our last wedding.”
“All the Nicks know a great plan when we think of it.”
Marion rested her head on his shoulder. “You are wonderful at plans. Just like me.”
“Team Creative Villainy.” He kissed her forehead. “Speaking of your nefarious schemes, Nessus showed up this morning, with his barbarian horde and flaming catapults.”
“Wow, he got here fast.” She made an impressed face. “I forgot how efficient centaurs can be, when it comes to carnage. Great! My revenge on Nottingham can be officially crossed off the list.” She made a little check mark in the air. “Now, we’ll get married again and everything will be…”
Nicholas cut her off. “Nessus set the castle on fire, so I think the reception is cancelled. At least half the guest list is dead or imprisoned, by now. And I’m sure Pecos Bill’s escaped.”
“Oh, for God’s sake…” Marion sighed in annoyance. “You have no idea how hard that damn cowboy was to track down. This is all your fault for jinxing things. I hope you know that.”
“You’re the one who invited the barbarians to our wedding venue, duchess.”
“Well, I didn’t know they were invading today!” She made an aggravated sound. “Centaurs have the worst timing. And you look so dashing in a bycocket. I knew you would. I was already envisioning the photos and now it’s all ruined.”
“Shit, do I still have that dumb hat on?” He looked upward like he might be able to see the long feather. “Wonderful.”
Marion disregarded his negativity, thinking things over for a beat. “You know, a beach ceremony would be even more amazing in pictures. I never really considered that before!”
“Would I have to wear a bycocket?”
“Of course. We’re a family who looks great in hats, so we need to lean into that.” Marion snuggled deeper into his arms. Relaxing in his embrace, she turned her attention towards a third wedding day. Sooner or later, they’d get it right. “Seriously, we’ll have our next ceremony in Neverland. At sunset… by the ocean… tropical vibes.” She hesitated. “Bonus: I could wear a lighter-weight gown.” She gestured to the ruined tulle, draped over his arm. “This one isn’t so perfect, after all.”
“You look beautiful.”
He deserved a reward for that lie. “Since the gown is ruined anyway, I guess it would be okay if you kidnapped me later and then demanded that I do very evil things to you, while wearing it.” She offered casually. “If you just happened to have any sex fantasies like that.”
Nicholas met her eyes.
She arched a brow.
“That dress is fucking perfect.” Nicholas told her with great feeling.
“Somehow, I knew you’d say that.”
He gave her another kiss, like he just couldn’t help himself. “I will marry you again and again, wearing whatever you want, in any kingdom you wish.” He hesitated. “But…”
“But?”
“But, with Hood dead, you’re the last of Nottingham’s royal bloodline.”
“So?”
“So, you have a pretty clear claim on the crown, Marion. You can be queen.” He explained it all slowly, as if he wasn’t sure she understood. “If you want to stay here and rule, I’ll make sure it happens. I swear it.”
“Nick, have you seen this kingdom?”
“Yes.”
“Would you want to rule over it?”
“Hell no.”
“Me neither. I’ll stick with my May Day tiara over Nottingham’s tacky crown.”
“You sure?”
“Yep. I’ll admit, it would be fun to be a cruel and tyrannical empress to these yokels, but I’m getting bored with vengeance.”
“That’s a first.”
“I’m not going to become like the Wraith, consumed with hatred and hurt. I’m done with Nottingham forever. I want to focus on us and not them. It’s time to move on: just me and you and the gargoyles. … And the big golden scepter I’ll be melting down to finance our first-class trip to paradise.”
He snorted in amusement.
Marion grinned back. “Let’s get out of here, my own.” She leaned up to kiss him. “We’ve got a future to plan.”
Chapter Forty-One
Starting over in Neverland has been quite an adventure for this reporter.
But, as I fled the barbarian invasion of my homeland to begin this even more truthful newspaper here on the beach, at least one thing has remained consistent:
Wherever she goes, Maid Marion is a Bad influence on everybody.
Alan A. Dale- “Neverland’s Naughtiest News”
Five Years Later
