So I thanked him. Something I find myself doing a lot with him.

  All he asked in return is that I have to be the one to ask. He wants to be sure it’s what I want, and I'm no dumbass, he’s scared to bring it up in fear of people thinking he’s some kind of real bastard and taking advantage of me. But, come on, anyone who meets Landon doesn’t have to be a genius to figure out he could get women in his bed without manipulating a scrawny, crazy person. Not to mention, he’s one of the few men I’ve met who actually has a moral compass.

  I did ask, and here I am.

  6 p.m., one hour after Edna drove me home from outpatient, while Landon is at Simon Rogers’ trial. I asked to go, but my entire treatment team said no. I was furious, especially when Landon, wincing, agreed with them.

  His son was my captor! Hell, he was my captor for a short while.

  But the decision was made. So I'm here, pacing. If he’s ruled innocent, I don’t know what I’ll do. Try to kill him?

  Maybe. Really, maybe.

  Ding-dong!

  My entire body locks up. Who is at the door right now? If they were dangerous, they wouldn’t ring the doorbell, right? Right?!

  My heart’s pounding…

  Knock! Knock! Knock!

  Click. “Essie, it’s just…”

  They opened the door. They’re inside the house. No. No. I frantically search for a weapon.

  Chirp, chirp, chirp… “Shit!” I hear when I'm thrust into a world that’s now familiar to me.

  “Essie!”

  But I'm gone.

  “Shit,” I curse, rubbing my head. I’ve been doing so well.

  “Essie, it’s just me. Kyle.”

  My head snaps up to find Kyle’s hulking frame as far away from me as he can get. It almost makes me laugh. Almost.

  “I'm sorry,” I mutter. “I-I just heard the door.”

  “I'm sorry. Landon tried to call you.”

  “I don’t answer his phone.”

  Kyle nods. “We’ll have to get you a cell phone.”

  “I'm sure I have one somewhere. If not, my parents will be happy to get me one, I'm sure. Why are you here?”

  I notice Kyle hasn’t moved from his spot across the room. I'm grateful for that. I'm walking on thin ice. I hope they don’t put me back in inpatient for this.

  “There’s someone here to see you. A friend,” he adds, studying me. “You may remember her, but there’s a chance you won’t.”

  “Mmm.”

  I have to be polite. I have to be polite. This is Landon’s home. As I'm repeating this over and over again in my head, a young woman rounds the corner. She has bushy brown hair and wears glasses in my favorite color. Black.

  “Hi, Essie, my name is Jade. You probably don’t remember me. I mean… psh. I was barely in your room, but um, Landon said I could stop by with my sister.”

  It’s then that I notice the young girl hiding in the corner of the room. She’s not looking at me.

  “Before you feel weird, this isn’t about you. My sister and I got into a bit of trouble and, um, well, Landon is helping me out for the night.”

  My senses heighten. I do remember this woman and I like her. I’ve ruined so many women in the past, maybe if I’m nice to this one…

  What would Landon do right now?

  “Who’s helping you after you leave here?”

  “Oh, don’t worry about us,” Jade whispers.

  “Who’s helping you after you leave here?” I put more force behind my words this time.

  Jade fidgets and glances at her sister, who is still hiding, facing the wall.

  “Um, Landon hasn’t said yet, but someone. He promised he’d make sure we’re okay.”

  She offers me a half-hearted smile. “You can trust him,” I whisper. “He-he’s kept all his promises to me.”

  “I know. I do. I sought him out,” she murmurs, glancing down. “Anyway,” she perks up a bit, “do you have food up in this joint? Davie will start getting angry if she’s not fed. And you have the hulk over in the corner to think about, too.”

  I smile a bit as I glance over at Landon’s best friend. His lip doesn’t even twitch. He’s so serious, which is strange, since Landon is the complete opposite.

  “Landon has food. What does Davie like? I-I'm sure I can figure out how to make her something.”

  I glance over at the little girl again. She’s now picking the plaster off the wall.

  “Davie!” Jade calls. A little girl with the most violet eyes I’ve ever seen turns. “Don’t do that, okay?”

  The girl doesn’t respond, but she’s clearly mad. She does stop, though, instead choosing to scowl at the wall.

  With that, Jade turns back to me.

  “Davie has autism. Well, she’s on the spectrum.”

  “Oh, I didn’t notice. Her eyes are stunning. I’ve never seen eyes like hers before.”

  Just like that, approval shines in Jade’s eyes.

  “She really does! I love Davie’s eyes. I get so jealous sometimes.”

  Davie looks over at that. She says nothing, but she looks displeased with her sister.

  “Oh, and you don’t have to make us anything. She can have a treat day. Does he have any popcorn up in this joint?”

  “Yeah. Treats would be nice. Landon has so much good junk food, but he wants me to eat protein and stuff to put on weight. I want to as well, but I mean, there’s candy here.”

  “Candy?” Davie’s unique voice perks up.

  Jade’s lips twist up in the smallest, happiest smile I’ve ever seen.

  “You want sugar, huh?”

  Davie nods.

  “Can you behave if we give you a piece of candy?”

  So this is a thing, whoops.

  “I want it!” Davie screeches.

  Jade’s calm as a cucumber. “And how do we get things we want?”

  Davie backs down, but doesn’t use words.

  “Does he have fun size?” she whispers.

  “That’s all he has. He has to be somewhat fit to do his job.”

  “Let’s bust it out.”

  So we all eat candy and popcorn, even amidst the chaos that is Davie with sugar in her system. And hey, Kyle even has a piece or two.

  And I laugh. With someone other than Landon. Growth.

  “Well, well, well, it is a hot mess in here.”

  I shoot off the couch where I crashed about thirty minutes after Jade took Davie to the guest room. Davie can’t sleep alone in strange places, so she slept with her. I don’t know where Kyle is, but it’s just Landon and me here. Well, Landon, me, and this giant mess.

  Shit.

  Fear races through my veins, making them cold and lifeless. Until…

  “I wish I was here for the party. Did you have fun?”

  He plops down next to me, pulling me into his side. My head automatically goes to his shoulder with a yawn. The fear’s gone as fast as it came.

  “Surprisingly, yes.”

  He chuckles. “Always the pessimist.” I shrug. “It’s okay. I think I have enough optimism for both of us.”

  “You definitely do,” I sigh.

  “Go to sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.”

  “Simon,” I murmur as he picks me up in his arms to carry me to my bedroom. Yeah, Landon has a three bedroom house. Crazy. He had it when Evie lived here, for him, Evie, and a guest room. After Evie left, he decided to keep the house.

  “In prison. We’ll talk more in the morning.”

  “Forever?”

  “Forever, angel.”

  He kisses my head, then I'm lowered into a world of softness.

  “Goodnight.”

  “Goodnight.”

  He shuts the door behind him when he leaves.

  I sleep peacefully this night.

  EPILOGUE

  LANDON

  Two Weeks Later

  The morning after I found Essie with candy wrappers all over the floor in a peaceful sleep, I was able to tell her that Brad’s team, along with the help of many others, arrested over fifty men and saved over a hundred women of all ages. The trafficking ring that nearly ruined her life was no more.

  She shut down.

  She cried.

  Then she asked me to take her to therapy.

  And she dealt with it.

  Yesterday was Jenny’s funeral. Essie watched on a video feed we set up for her. Mentally, she felt, with therapy, she could be there, but she wasn’t willing to be at Jenny’s funeral in person when she wasn’t at Pamela's.

  So I listened as a famous news reporter doted on Jenny’s old high school and college tapes back when she did the school news.

  Jenny had no family there, so we made one. We invited everyone we know. Along with that, she was well loved at school, so many of her school friends were there as well. It was a beautiful service.

  Essie had an episode that she hasn’t quite come out of yet, but they no longer scare me. Her life will never be 100% normal, but I know she’ll come back to me when she’s ready. Essie’s entire team is so supportive. They are alerted whenever she has an episode and work to help her out of it, and, if necessary, identify the triggers that led her there.

  Right now, Essie’s mom is over, drinking iced tea, and we’re chatting. Her dad is a dick and currently working, not that he’d be here anyway, but whatever. I actually like her mom. A lot. She’s grown on me. After I saw her smack Richard across the face, I realized maybe she’d realized the error of her ways.

  Dana leans back in her seat.

  “I was a shitty mom to Essie growing up,” she sighs heavily. “I was so preoccupied with her mind. I mean, Jesus. I'm an average person who never accomplished much. Then I have this incredible daughter who could solve math problems by six that I’d never even heard of. She’d give an hour of her time doing dumb competitions I knew she hated, and she’d make all this money. I was selfish and Essie hated me for it.”

  “Hate is a strong word.”

  I see the resemblance between the two women when Dana gives me a flat look. I almost laugh, but refrain.

  “Strongly disliked.”

  “What did Essie want to do?”

  Dana’s lips curl up in sly little smile.

  “She wanted to be a makeup artist.”

  What?! I spit out my water all over the couch.

  “Shit! No way.”

  She laughs. “Yes, it was her dream. Probably would be still if…”

  She trails off and turns from me for a moment.

  “Well, I wonder if she still has an interest.”

  As if on cue, footsteps stomp down the stairs. She’s back… I can’t help the way my heart skips. Being without her sucks.

  “Hey, speak of the devil…”

  She rubs a hand over her eyes. “Mom?”

  She blinks several more times, so I go over and wrap an arm around her back. I bring her over to reorient her to the space.

  “Your mom and I were just talking about you as a child.”

  Essie coughs and goes wide eyed. It’s kind of funny, in a tragic way. Her life has been so abnormal and horrific, yet it’s no less embarrassing for her mother to be telling baby stories. I like it.

  “You were not.” She looks at her mom. “No way you would.”

  Dana trails off. “Yes, Essie, I told him what a shit mom I was.”

  Instead of pleasing Essie, it seems to make her even more mortified. I guess ‘cause she knows her mom is not fucking around now.

  “What did you tell him? Mom, what the hell did you tell him?!”

  I am literally cracking up. Her mom is even laughing.

  “You have no embarrassing stories, Essie,” she laughs. “What are you so afraid of?”

  “Whatever it is, I can buy you some eyeliner and make it better.” I smile.

  “Ugh!” She covers her face with her hands. “That. That’s what I was afraid of.”

  I laugh. “No need to be embarrassed. It’s pretty great. I was just surprised.”

  Essie glares hard at me. “I was a teenager.”

  I pull her even closer and kiss her cheek. “I'm not judging. Relax. This is all in good fun. Do you still have an interest in makeup?”

  Essie fidgets and, with it, I realize the reason she was so embarrassed is because she still loves it. Despite everything, despite her intellect and her trauma, she still has an interest in makeup and she’s not sure how she feels about that.

  I glance at her and study her eyes.

  “How about I make some dinner for everyone? I have some rice and chicken ready. Does that work?”

  Essie slouches on the couch and looks at me like I am the best freakin’ thing in life. I wink at her and head to the kitchen. I'm throwing the rice on the stove when I hear footsteps behind me.

  “Thanks for saving me back there,” Essie whispers.

  “Of course, babe.”

  I feel her come up behind me. A second later, her hands hesitantly wrap around my waist from behind. She sighs heavily, so I feel her warm breath on my shoulder.

  “I love you.”

  “Love you, too, sweetheart.”

  “Sorry I was gone again…”

  I spin in her arms and take her shoulders in my hands.

  “Don’t ever apologize to me for that.”

  She nods and wraps me in a real hug that I return.

  “Let’s go see your mom. We can talk tonight?”

  “Yeah, she’s been… nice.”

  “Very nice.”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  I kiss her lips because, well, her green eyes are shining up at me, expecting it, and I wouldn’t want to let her down.

  Now would I?

  ESSIE

  One Year Later

  I stare at myself in the full-length mirror in front of me. Ripped black skinny jeans, a tight, long-sleeve black t-shirt, a purple choker, Converse, and a beanie all cover my body. I'm still not used to seeing myself this way.

  I'm used to being a victim. I don’t know when that became my preferred identity. It takes all the therapy in the world to get me to stand tall, shoulders back, and act like I'm somehow worthy. They tell me it’ll take time. Fake it ‘til you make it. So I do. Even when I don’t want to. Because when I curl inwards, a sadness washes over Landon. And I figure he’s had enough worry in his life with Evie. I don’t want to make it worse than I'm naturally going to. So I suck it up, I don’t play the victim role and I talk to my team. I have a whole fucking team helping me. I owe it to them to try.

  But it’s still weird to see myself fed, shining skin and hair, fully clothed. It’s just not right somehow. In my head, at least.

  “Essie! Are you okay up there?” comes Landon’s voice from downstairs. “We don’t have to do this. I can tell the boys to fuck off.”

  I smile to myself. “Not necessary!” I call down.

  Yanking my beanie down a bit more, I step out of the room and climb down the stairs. Landon’s at the bottom, leaning against the railing. As soon as he sees me, he smiles.

  “Hey, there you are. You look beautiful.”

  My heart does that weird fluttering thing again. I feel giddy at his compliment, but on the outside, I just shrug.

  “Thanks.”

  “I made chicken wings, a vegetable platter, then there’s the homemade guac you made.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  “I like this,” he murmurs, tracing my face with his thumb. I did my makeup. Landon hasn’t mentioned the makeup thing to me again, but I know he will. Just like I knew he’d notice my attempt at makeup after all this time.

  “I'm out of practice,” I whisper, face turned down and blushing.

  “I’d never be able to tell.”

  Ding-dong!

  “That’s probably Kyle.”

  Landon goes to the door with me on his heels. He swings the door open and there stands a whole crowd of people. Kyle’s there with his girl on his arm, but with him is Collin and his pregnant wife, Arabella. Arabella was in an accident over a year ago and is paralyzed from the waist down, so she’s in a wheelchair. Brad is also there with Cooper. I don’t know them that well, so I focus on Collin and Kyle to keep my nerves at bay. As if sensing my anxiety, Landon loops his fingers through mine.

  “Hey guys, come on in. Game’s on in ten.”

  Forcing myself to be brave, I remove myself from Landon so he can catch up with Kyle. I know he wants to. He glances back at me to make sure I'm good as I walk away, heart beating fast.

  I don’t know Arabella, really, and she tends to hang with the men, so I go to the kitchen and kinda hide out.

  Literally two minutes later, I hear a familiar voice that kind of makes me smile, despite our rough start.

  “Don’t worry, y’all! I am here!”

  I smirk into my wine glass. Evie’s here.

  “Where’s Essie?”

  I hear Landon say something, but no one is as loud as a recovering Evie Parker.

  “Over here!” I call.

  Footsteps echo, and then there’s Evie in all her bright glory. She’s my opposite in every way. Her clothes are all baggy, pastels in contrast with my almost too tight, all black attire. She’s still a tiny little thing, she still struggles, but she’s miles ahead of the gaunt woman I met over a year ago.

  “Hey!” she smiles. I swear she and her brother are the male and female versions of the same person.

  “I can’t believe we got roped into some stupid football party. Ugh. But Carson loves football, so…” She shrugs.

  “Landon made a veggie platter for you and he set up a movie upstairs in case you get bored.”

  She smiles and fidgets with the strings on her light orange hoodie.

  “He’s the best. How are you?”

  “Yo, Evie, Essie, you have a guest!”

  Shiloh.

  That means… I meet Evie’s gaze. Ellie.

  I run from the kitchen into the living room. Sure enough, standing here in a frilly white dress, two curled pigtails, and ribbon-tied tennis shoes, is Ellie Reynolds.

  “Aunt Essie!” she screams, running at me and hugging my legs. “I missed you. You have to come see me more.”

 

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