H C Turk, page 52
In this manner my days proceeded. My greatest concern was Rathel's response to learn that after all her years of devious effort, after planting the killer witch upon her victim's very baby stick, Eric yet remained alive. This fear of Rathel's further vengeance was more discomforting than any tribulation of my average married day. Eric awoke each morning with difficulty only to be at his face with a Satanic blade and then vanish for the day. After his exit, the dog and I would walk endlessly while Elsie ruined the home by making it spotless, stoking the fire, emptying the chamber pots, washing the laundry and thereby removing my own smell from my own apparel. Toward the day's end, Eric would return from his accounting. Then we would eat, speak of nothing, and soon the odor in the man would rise, his wife thereafter walking the dog until she could no longer stand, returning home to receive her husband's smells within her warehouse (rear entry) until she could no longer recline.
As part of ruining the household, Elsie prepared meals, and I nearly wept to find that my own personal home would not be free of burnt animal flesh. Elsie and Eric insisted that the race of sinners could not live without meat longer than a few days, so a few days after the wedding, fat they did seek. In my foolishness, I believed the traitors until Elsie came home with chops, which immediately I wrested from her and hurled through the open window onto the street, thereafter wiping my hands madly across my hem until the death smell was off me; and damned be my spirit if I would allow Randolph out the door to gain the flesh himself. Then I shouted in a sane fury that I would take all of Eric's flesh infinitely within me and accept Elsie's having her way throughout the house, but with
God as my moral support, no living creature would eat another in my home unless I was killed and eaten first. Thereby did I become mistress of the household.
From that tirade on, I became known by my own husband as the little Rathel. The Dentons remained vegetarians, however, though the heinous dog was oft found sneaking home with lizards on his breath, but he had an excuse in being only human. Everyone else but me was a sinner. And I was gaining vast power over these people. So much they loved me, I believed, that through my own implacable will and crafty wisdom I would connive them into abandoning London and venturing with me to live in the wilds. Yes, with certainty I believed that I could so convince them, but knew in my heart that the three would kill and eat me first.
In this manner my weeks proceeded. Since Eric was too poor to afford the opera (praise God) despite his desire to attend this function with me, the husband and servant presumed that a substitute would be church attendance in the very chapel in which all three of us were wed. They did not understand, however, that my God lived in forests, not the caves of these sinners' buildings. But not being so foolish as to argue about God to thus be expelled from the household as a Lutheran, I did well attend services with my family. There came boredom again, though no desire had I to exchange the church choir for musical theater. More and more, however, I mentioned mountains.
Eventually I became better at this married life, if only because a quantity of Elsie's oil for cooking plant life I kept near the bed to dip the husband in too often each evening with no explanation to the servant and none dared sought. Occasionally Miss Elsie slipped over to the Rathel's to visit the local servant populace. Always did Rathel herself well meet the miss for news of the young marrieds, though no direct query was made as to the quantity of Eric's phalli. All was bliss according to Elsie, and never did she report to me of her former superior's achieving either frenzy or joy to learn of our household's fine condition, of Eric's continued wholeness. Then the other raft of relatives became subject in our tenement, for a side of this family existed apart from my (my?) own.
"Mrs. Denton," Eric offered one evening before molesting me throughout the night, "I am considering presenting ourselves to my. parents' house to demonstrate how excedent a life we have achieved. Upon comprehending my safety and happiness, Father will not refer to you in the wicked manner as before, but well apologize in his goodness."
"Bless us all, sir, for your father's goodness, a mendacity so vast as to cure the world of its unkind emotions. But if you recall, Mr. Edward's previous characterizations of me were accurate. He might therefore apologize for what? After all, you were the one to steal his dog."
"He might have described the events about you with some accuracy, but no understanding existed in his descriptions of you. His talk was of murder and evil, whereas you are all sweetness and virtuous living-excluding your starving your only husband and raving on about lull land and the like."
"Sir, I am distressed not by your father's misconstruing me. But if ever again he applies to his son the hatred he displayed in this flat, I shall slap a sense of Jesus into his sinning mouth."
"Please, Alba, you speak of my father."
"Condemn not my mild words, sir. I would have said that I shall fuck him with my witch's cunt and snip him off at the balls, but did not in that he is my husband's father."
"And praise God you did not, woman, for such talk would have sickened me," Eric replied, and began a shaking of his head as though to jar my words loose from his ears.
"Make your own plans, sir, for our being received at the Dentons' household. During this visitation, if one befalls us, I shall remain most ladylike, for here I am glib and capable. But presume suffering, for what if we have not waited time enough for your parents to have accepted our connubiality? What gain in achieving nothing but your weeping, for which I, in my vast unkindness, shall berate you? Is your life so lacking in excitement that you seek parental agony? Am I not the one bored in
this household, whereas you and the pets are ever amused?"
"And how is it you are bored, miss?"
"Missus."
"How is it you are bored, missus, in that the suffering of your prior life should have provided you with excitement to last for at least one full marriage?"
"I am bored, sir, because women do not ejaculate," I retorted. But before he could implement his gender's endless capacity therein, the wife walked her dog for the evening.
After church one Sunday came a person to our door, most unusual in that the few visitors to our home were salesmen of useless household implements, except for the one so practical as to provide me with an instrument for his castration, in that his wares were razors for shaving. These vital business folk never appeared on the Sabbath for fear of being stricken to death by Jesus, no doubt, thdugh other days were scarcely less provocative considering Elsie's commendable threats of sending Randolph's teeth directly into their goods or their guts. But the person coming that Sunday had most durable goods, so it seemed, in that Eric after opening the door grasped the man with an embrace I rarely allowed him, this entwining followed by glad speaking and happy laughter. And after the husband greeted his guest, the wife had a cackle to see Lord Andrew.
The gent was well set within our home, Elsie fulfilled to be serving tea to so fine a relative. To begin his conversing, Andrew stated his difficulty in finding us.
"For a month I've been asking Edward to describe your location clearly, but for some reason he has been unable. Finally I contacted Amanda Rathel, who has a better memory than my son. But at my age, this memory of mine is the least reputable of all. Forgive me, Eric, but I can scarcely recall attending the wedding myself, as though I were never present."
Though Lord Andrew's disposition was cordial, Eric knew to reply without humor.
"But, sir, could the world's greatest grandfather miss my life's only wedding? And how do you find your tea, Grand?"
Since Eric had demonstrated sufficient tact for an entire family, the conversation proceeded with ease. After a certain expected chatting regarding Eric's business, including Lord Andrew's pondering why Eric no longer was employed by his father, the guest quit this area of potential discomfort by asking the recently-wed couple how their life together proceeded.
"As perfectly as possible, Grand," Eric replied, "what with the unenvious and utterly gracious lady of the household-we are so fortunate to have Miss Elsie." And Lord Andrew laughed heartily as I made to throw my tepid tea against the heathen husband's face.
"In fact," Eric continued, "Alba herself is exactly descriptive of my life, and that is perfect, sir; though the wife makes implications of boredom, which I can scarcely comprehend."
Andrew then became nearly agitated as he looked up sharply from his saucer to declare, "But of course, the lass is correct! A lady's life is one of boredom when her husband works at his employment constantly. And knowing young Eric, he doubtless neglects his wife's affections."
After choking on my tea or those words, I introduced Lord Andrew to this man who was certainly not the young Eric he knew, offering next to display all the welts secured directly by Eric's affection.
"Then surely what you need, Alba," Lord Andrew replied after the men's laughter had subsided, "is to rest from this affection, and vacation on the sea. Yes, child, you and Eric must come sailing with me."
Eric then clapped his hands together as though at an opera's climax or one of his own, replying to his grandfather, "The idea you present is superlative, Grand, and most thankfully received."
"I hope you will find it so, Eric, in that a great interval has passed since last you sailed with me. I would also hope that the young wife will appreciate the notion."
"But of course she does," delighted Eric promised as he looked to me. "Constant are her expressions of love for the out of doors and wild land. What could be more wild and out than the English Channel?" "Penstone Place," I muttered.
"But, Alba, you seem less than enthralled," Eric noticed. "I have seen you in the water, missus. Have you a specific aversion to the salt variety?"
"Sir, the ocean I well love-when standing at its edge. But I am incapable of being upon its expanse, for I have a great aversion toward drowning."
"You jest, ma'am," Eric returned. "I have seen you . . . swim . . . most spectacularly."
"Sir, that swimming you witnessed was each moment a struggle for my life not to be taken by water. With Lord God reading the deepest truths of my heart, I swear that no greater terror inhabits my dreams than the fear of being beneath water forever, and forever there being dead."
Eric was staring at me, reading my deepest truths, perhaps, staring at me with a neutral visage as he silently, profoundly accepted the latest lesson of his missus.
"Ah, and what a pity I find here, dear Alba," Andrew responded. "And this is no fear to be overcome?"
"No, sir, not within my allotted lifetime. Nonetheless, I truly thank you for the offer, and hope my incompatibility with water will not erode our felicitous bond."
"Never, Alba, for no decent man would fail to appreciate so comely and authentic a lass, no more than a poorly-remembering elder could forget her."
Into the sea of his tea Eric was now looking, and did he find me in this ocean? Was I the lemon slice perilous on the cup's edge, in some future to slide down the porcelain beach and be lost in the pekoe?
"Please, Lord Andrew, continue your warm and welcome conversing by speaking of those boats with which you are familiar."
"Familiar, missus," Eric responded, forging a new trail in our talking. "Why, this gentleman owns them."
"But a few," came Lord Andrew's modest reply.
His interest in this conversation improving, Eric mentioned a veritable fleet, boats small and large, including the grand Queen's Flight.
"This Queen's Flight might be especially what, sir?r I inquired of Lord Andrew.
"The Queen's Flight is a vessel of proportion, Alba. A ship of twelve masts and great grace in the water, of thousands of tons and many more thousands of knots of experience on the seas."
"The boat is very large, Alba, one rigged for sailing the deepest oceans," Eric added; and I could sense his desire to be speaking with Grand and me, though only now was he regaining the abdity, so moved had he been by my . . . swimming.
"To what end, might I ask?" was my inquiry to either gende-man.
"Most recently to supply the American colonies with further populace and items for their living," Andrew replied.
"I have heard mention of this region, Lord Andrew," I continued, "but know not its nature."
"The politics might interest you," Andrew ventured.
"Preferably I would learn of the area's exotic animals and wdd lands rather than be inundated with social implications, if you please. Have you lived there, sir?" I asked of Grand.
"I have not, Alba, in that the Americas are lands for younger folk-especially you. Since the societies there lack the sophistication and elegance of England, so virtuous and thinking a lady could only benefit their culture. There are cities and towns in the colonies, but none as great as London. As for wdds, why, there are more wild lands and more wondrously varied than all of England and the European continent. America is a land of deserts and forests, of mountains and tremendous lakes, of endless fields and infinite canyons."
Then I turned to Eric and ordered, "We depart tomorrow."
"Very well, missus," he replied, "but you wdl have to walk, in that youll not allow yourself on shipboard."
"You'd best wait, my chdd, until you gain your sea legs," Andrew offered, "for walking those thousands of mdes through the ocean might be most wearisome."
"I can well imagine," I said, then had to set my tea down because the liquid there bade me drown, a sea in my own home containing Marybelle and Mother. Too much of Eric's concern with . . . swimming ... had emigrated to the colony of his wife.
The visit concluded with less weighty emotions, Lord Andrew's departure a privation to our family. I later asked Eric of the expense of this Queen's Flight type of vessel, and whether the impoverished might own one. Utterly not, in their great costliness, he replied. Then I inquired why we had not sought funds from Grand instead of Rathel, and whether potential existed for our procuring additional moneys if required from him. No, Eric answered, for then my father would hate both me and Grand.
Not until that evening and our own bed came mention of the remnants of that conversation, an early segment to have set the husband toward lasting distress.
Tightly had I wrapped my dressing gown about me as we lay in the dark, an abnormal state of attire in that usually Eric sat at my corpus with his own while I was yet in waking clothes. The source of Eric's restraint soon became evident.
"Of all the blatant torments you have calmly described from your past, I had no sufficient notion that your being in water was near their equal."
"Rather would I move through water than lose another body part; so though uncomfortable and haunting, the activity is not the ultimate distress."
"But when your dreams are nightmares, is the water not torture within that realm? Yes, it is, I know without your answering. Well have I come to understand this, Alba, by your change of voice and the difference in your eyes. And if you had not so abolished tears from me, I would now be weeping against you; for you are my wife and my love, and no pain is worthy of the one I hold most dear. So if in my sleep you notice me weep, understand I shall attempt to control this weakness, but moreover understand that my thoughts and love then are all for you."
Eric then rolled onto his side to face away from me. But within this marriage, Eric was not alone in connubial comprehension, for I as well had knowledge of my spouse. Eric, in his intended generosity, would not be having sex with me that night.
Not easily did I achieve sleep, in that my routine was disrupted because my buttocks were not. But eventually I arrived at slumber, well pleased to have sensed no tears from Eric.
And dream I did. Having tea with Edward, I often fell into my cup, and how delighted was Eric's father to see me nearly drown. But seldom was enough liquid in the cup to submerge me, and when the tea tide was high, I always landed upon the lemon rind, which floated and conveyed me near the colonies, as near as Eric, who did his best not to weep because the sour fruit burned my skin, he knew, and never before had he understood the torment of my life of eating no meat. Disembarking from the rind, I found myself upon a bed with twelve posts that rocked to and fro, for not enough sails had I to protect me from a hot wind that cut through me from head to groin, stabbed me like a corn cob, an arm with bark, a . . .
God alone could know the dream Eric was snatched from by my heart beating upon his shoulder, having pulled my baby slot away from his ready man stick, which had entered me normally but most unacceptable And when Eric awakened enough to see and gasp and cower, I told the fool that I had not become his mother and thus could have no man named Eric inside my cunt without killing him, and finding oneself dead was no way to wake in the morning. Shake him I did most harshly until he acknowledged my words, that the loss from his taking me so would not be his pleasure, but his blood, literally his bleeding life; and did the beggar understand? Yes, missus, yes he did; anything to end the shouting and bruising, good evening to you, over he rolled and to sleep.
The next day I invented a new type of clothing, an inelegant rag to be wrapped about me before each night's sleeping, tied so as not to be removed without my knowledge. And as for inconvenience: Well, the husband would simply have to eject all of the lust from his system before the wife settled to slumber, lest he get all the blood out instead. But before I awoke to become a seamstress to Elsie's great curiosity, I dreamed. Of course, I dreamed again.
Insufficient clothes had I in my floating armoire to prevent sailors from populating my colony with their mizzenmasts, though I repelled most with the loudest tea in the wilds, that region settled by the one successful sailor being a new land less social than England, for he jibed me from the stern, not the sternum.
In this manner my life proceeded. Few thoughts had I of any past existence, preferring to wish for some superior life beyond the drudgery of London. But I could think of none, no specific world of nature, for what wild land would fit me now that I had a family? Would Elsie revert to eating lizards? Could Eric build so fine a timber cave as Marybelle? And how long would Randolph last before drowning in a bog? Neither could I abandon these friends, for so authentic was my love for them that truly they comprised a family; and this witch would accept no life, not even in Paradise, in which she was alone.
