Holding Fast, page 3
Soon, Paris, I’ll get my shit together and call you. But not now, not when I’m screwed up and you’ll only worry more about me.
I need to create a warm, safe place by myself. Then I’ll be okay.
Chapter Four
Will studied Sara leaving the store parking lot and debated following her. He knew where she lived, worked and shopped. He knew when she slept and when she ate, how often she stayed up all night, reading, running on her treadmill or doing some kind of artsy stuff that he thought was amazing, but not good for her at four a.m.
The terror she displayed was a sucker punch to the gut. She doesn’t sleep because she fears her dreams.
She wasn’t suffering from the Duke drug. He’d not seen any evidence of it at least. But she was suffering.
Potter. The bastard. Did he hurt her?
On his taxi ride to the airport, he’d phoned Carson. At first, his ex-commander hadn’t wanted to talk, but when Will had informed him that he was landing in Orlando in a few hours, Carson had relented. He half-wished he hadn’t. The facts weren’t soothing. She had either come into contact with Potter in Wyoming, or she’d had contact with him since Wyoming. Carson hadn’t mentioned a word about the drug, and Will hadn’t offered any insight. He wasn’t a hundred percent certain she’d taken it or if she had, if she’d been affected.
Seeing her now, and having all those pieces Jansen had hinted at falling into place, tore his guts. He had to stop the instinctual desire to jump from his vehicle and go to her. The thought of her being harmed had his adrenaline spiking to that point he only reached in combat situations. This wasn’t a battle. There wasn’t going to be an enemy he could focus on through his scope and remove from the equation with a bullet.
How did I let this happen to her? Why didn’t I keep her with Paris back in Wyoming? At least at Duke’s she’d have been close enough for me to protect.
He knew why. Who’d protect her from me? He’d wanted her—wanted her badly enough to do all he could to keep her away so he didn’t have her. Sara’s smile, her bright presence had shocked his system with a jolt of something he’d thought he’d given up on long before.
But he’d known that, once he started with her, he might not be able to stop. There’d be no ‘dear John’ letter breaking his dreams to bits because he’d keep her close, so close she’d never be in danger again.
A black SUV pulled up in front of him, blocking his view of her leaving and breaking into the regrets. He focused on the driver when it didn’t move.
Troy, the rancher slash Army Ranger from Sonia Petrok’s new home in Wyoming, was behind the wheel.
“What the hell?” he muttered. He’d been set to meet Carson tonight, but nothing had been mentioned about any other team members, and especially not the cocky Ranger.
The cowboy tipped his Stetson. His grin didn’t reach the steel in his eyes as he lifted a hand off the wheel and pointed his finger like a gun toward the back of the store.
Will’s brain spun in a hundred different directions as he pulled out to follow. Why did Carson have me watch her for a week? Why wait until tonight to meet? Is Troy here to help or try and shut me out of the mission?
He’d heard things about the cowboy, things he didn’t appreciate. The man carried a few degrees behind his name. He was intelligent, probably as much of a lady’s man as his reputation warranted, and was still with the Rangers. So, why is he here, now, working with Carson?
Will wasn’t intimidated by him. He’d earned a Bachelors and the rank of Lieutenant Commander before he’d moved from the SEALs to deeper, more under the radar black operation units, the Sentinels being only one of them.
Troy had built a reputation for locating things. Maybe he was here to find Potter. But what was Will here for?
The explanation that a fresh set of eyes on the scene Carson gave him didn’t fit. A mission was always started as a team effort, not one man separated from the unit.
He considered texting Jansen. His last text had been to tell him he’d found Sara and she was okay. Jansen had been pissed he hadn’t spoken with her yet. Jansen wanted him in her home, with her. Or he wanted him to get her out of the situation and hide her. Will’s gut said that kind of thing wouldn’t work with a man like Potter. But his gut also twisted at the idea of her being exposed to the kind of sick horror Potter could inflict.
He glanced in his rearview mirror and wasn’t surprised to see another dark vehicle pulling out to follow him. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel hard enough to make his knuckles turn white.
The first SUV stopped by three semi-trucks parked nose to nose. Will in pulled in across from it. Troy got out, adjusting his shirt to hide his side arm, and walked over.
Will took a deep breath and joined him.
“Bryson, good to see you.” Troy shook his hand. “What brings you to Florida?”
“Troy.” He was more exhausted from the lack of sleep than he liked to be, but not tired enough to let Troy act as if shit wasn’t happening. He glanced at the SUV to his right where the men were still inside waiting, and then back to Troy.
Troy met his gaze firmly, not denying the men, nor offering any information. The team was good. He’d checked for anyone lingering around Sara as soon as he’d hit town. He’d seen no one. That meant Carson was using solid, seasoned agents. It should have reassured him. Instead his worry escalated.
Carson stepped out from behind the closest semi-truck. His former commander had his frown firmly in place as he closed the distance between them. Carson hadn’t changed a bit over the past six months. Not that Will believed the hardcore former-SEAL ever would. If anything, he seemed more pissed-off than usual.
“Paris is worried,” he offered instead of a hello.
“As she should be,” Carson growled. “Potter isn’t a joking matter. There are thirteen women dead to attest to that, more if we knew where to look, no doubt.”
At his response, a sharp stabbing sensation rippled through Will’s chest. Panic, an emotion he didn’t cope well with, tried to take hold. He shoved it down and tried to focus on the facts.
“Are you certain he’s got her in his sights?”
Carson exchanged a frown with Troy who shook his head.
He tensed his shoulders, but didn’t back down. “I’m not leaving. If anything, I’m going over to her home now, and getting her the hell out of here.”
Troy laughed. “It’s too late for that slick move. If you’re really this concerned, why show up now and not six months ago in Wyoming when she was hitchhiking across the country to hide from the bastard?”
Hitchhiking? He closed the distance between them. “You got a problem, Ranger? Believe me when I say, I’m more than capable of solving it.”
“My problem is you showing up. We don’t need your help. You’ve already caused enough damage,” Troy muttered.
“What the hell is he talking about?” Will turned to Carson for an explanation but Carson was focused on the ground at his feet. A panicky sensation climbed up to tighten Will’s throat.
“I’m not leaving. If you don’t want me in on the mission, that’s great news for me. I’ll go move her to a—”
“Hiding her won’t help.” Carson lifted his head. His eyes were bloodshot, from lack of sleep or just plain exhaustion, Will couldn’t say, but the man was worried. Carson never worried. He was now, and it was all directed at the woman who’d kept Will up nights trying to tame his desire for her.
“Then tell me what will because I’m not leaving.”
Carson studied him for longer than he liked. “Fine, but you’re now a part of this. The girl’s in trouble. A shitload of it, if our guesses are correct. If we’re wrong—” Carson crossed his arms and stared at him. Panic squeezed Will’s throat. “If we’re wrong, you sure the hell won’t do any harm. In fact, I think you might be what we need to drive the animal out of the bush.”
“How’s that?” Instincts he never ignored tightened his shoulder blades, warning him he’d not like the response he got from Carson.
“I think the best way to catch Potter is to piss the little arrogant prick off. We do that by placing you inside her house, by her side and in her bed.”
Will raised his eyebrows, not going for that at all. Use her as bait? No fucking way. He shook his head in denial, but Carson railroaded right over him.
“It’s a plan. I have a feeling it’s gonna do what an entire platoon of men couldn’t. Drag him out in the open.”
“Sir, with all due respect, Sara Stevens and I aren’t even close—”
“Smooth talk her, Bryson. I don’t care how you do it. Do it because you, my friend, are now going to be her boyfriend home from a long tour.” He shrugged as if that were an easy solution. “Possibly fiancé, if the boyfriend act doesn’t spur Potter into motion. Get a ring. He’ll be like a rabid dog.” Carson gave a short laugh. “You know what we do to animals with rabies, don’t you? Put them down.”
Chapter Five
Sara poured the steaming ziti she’d prepared for dinner into a bowl and tossed it lightly with olive oil and garlic, added the chopped basil and grated parmesan, then slid it all onto her plate. The aroma rolling off it was so good her mouth watered. She’d forgotten lunch and hadn’t had time to grab something from the cafeteria with the other teachers.
The sharp knock on the door startled her into almost wearing her dinner. She quickly straightened the plate and set it down on her kitchen table before she did end up covered in deliciousness. One glance at the time showed it was almost seven-thirty. No one ever came over, so she wasn’t sure what to do with an unwanted visitor this time of night.
Answer the door, obviously.
Yeah, that’s a problem. Answering the door meant the possibility of someone wanting inside.
She walked over and peeked past the sheer curtain, wishing she’d gotten a house with a solid door, not this window in the middle thing where anyone could see she was home.
At first, no one was there, then William Bryson stepped into view.
Wyoming came back in one sharp smack in the face. He’d been there. He’d seen her right after… He’d driven her to a hotel, but there been a tension in his body she knew all too well… She shut that thought down and focused on breathing.
He nodded stiffly then did the strangest thing. He smiled. He’d never smiled at her before—at least he hadn’t the two times she’d been near enough to him. It was a forced, uneasy thing that didn’t reach his eyes. Maybe that’s because I’m standing here staring at him.
After taking a breath, she dropped the curtain, zipped up her oversized gray hoodie, then tucked loose wisps of hair behind her ears and settled her nerves. She’d showered the scent of fear off her body, but at the reality she had to face a man sweat blossomed on her forehead and made her hands clammy.
Get it together. Say hi and send him off.
She cracked the door open, but left the chain on. “Hi, uh, William, right?”
“Yeah, you remember me.” He frowned at the door, then her. “Can I come in?”
“Uh, no, I mean, I’m not dressed for company.” How corny did that sound? “Maybe you could come back tomorrow?” She never let anyone in the house. The mere idea of this big, handsome solider in her space scared her enough she clenched the door knob. He was tall, but then she wasn’t, so most people were tall to her. She had to tip her head to meet his eyes and steel herself to keep eye contact.
“I’m sick. The flu you know?” She coughed which allowed her to avoid him directly. The first full impact of him—here—made her dizzy. She’d once laughed at Paris for saying she’d fallen in love with David on sight. But one glance at William and all those confusing longings she’d felt over the past six months, all centered on him, returned. She’d always been able to walk away, let go when she knew she couldn’t win, or if she thought she could win, go for it. She’d had her heart broken once. It helped her only give a little, and to only expect a little, too. But with William she’d been too scared to even think about trying to see where the interest in his eyes would lead them.
“Oh, damn. Sorry to hear that. I’m only in town for a little while. I thought I’d stop by, say hi. Invite you to dinner, but if you’re sick, I can get you something. Cold meds, maybe?” He smiled briefly again—a charming, lady-killer expression that probably dropped more panties than Justin Bieber ever could.
Her mouth went dry but her cheeks moistened in that I’m going to throw up way she’d grown to know so intimately these past few months.
Get it together. Speak! “Oh, I have what I need, thank you.” She put enough roughness in her voice so she sounded like a pack a day cigarette smoker. She coughed loudly into her fist for good measure.
His expression turned concerned with the right amount of pleading as he pressed a hand to the door to keep it slightly open.
“Hey, that sounds bad. How about I go get a movie and something for that cough? I’m a pretty strong guy. I’m certain you can’t hurt me. A nice night with company might be the cure you need.”
The thing about what she’d been through was that now, when she met a man, she could see things she wouldn’t have noticed before. Like when a guy was laying on the bullshit. William’s sincerity was lost on her because more than twice his gaze had lowered to her breasts, checking her out so smoothly she wouldn’t have noticed if she’d not been hyper aware of every minor detail of him. She could even see the sly way he slid his hand up the door so he could lean in, closer so he was within inches of her face to say, “I bet I have ways to take your mind off your ailments that will get you back to right in no time.”
She wasn’t taking him up on that bet. He hadn’t been this way before. He’d barely spoken to her and had seemed relieved to drop her off. She shut down those memories and focused on getting him off her porch.
“You’re sweet to offer,” she managed to say, and smiled as brightly as she could. “But I wouldn’t want to give you anything—”
“You can give me anything you want,” he murmured, as if right on cue. “I’ve been worried about you, to be honest, but you’re as beautiful as ever.”
The suave line jangled on her nerves, making her want to shut the door and slide down it to hug herself. Then shower again.
All she managed to do was keep the smile firmly in place and hope it was sincere enough to make him take her no for a no.
“Thanks, really, but I have to get some rest. Maybe tomorrow?”
He shocked her by laughing softly as if he couldn’t believe she was turning him down.
“Aw, really? I drove for hours, and found your place after a few more for this tiny side street no one seems to put on a map.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. That sounds terrible, but I think you should go.” Her voice came out stronger. He must have heard her conviction because he narrowed his eyes and stood taller, dropping the arm he’d been leaning on to get closer to her.
“Tell Paris I’m fine. I’ll even call her. Good seeing you.” She shut the door quick-like when he opened his mouth. As soon as it was closed she threw the bolt lock and leaned against the kitchen wall next to the door and held her breath.
Her lungs protested the lack of oxygen but she waited until she could hear William’s heavy footsteps receding from her porch before she moved. She thought he grumbled a little, but she didn’t try to understand the muffled words.
“God! So stupid. So stupid. He probably thinks I’m a complete bitch!” She whispered the words but they echoed through the empty house and mocked her with their truthfulness.
Does it matter? I’ll never see him again, and that’s a good thing, right? A soft sob broke past her control. If only he could help me, keep me safe and…be here because he was worried about me, because he did care.
He’d come on strong, much stronger than she would have ever guessed from the stern, silent solider who’d driven her to a hotel—twice. She’d been frightened of him then, so scared she’d been unable to fill the silence with useless chatter to relieve the tension. He hadn’t either.
But this time was…different. He acts like I’m some kind of booty call. Why? Because he thinks I am. She shut her eyes and fisted her hands. Why would he think that? Why wouldn’t he? You were in Wyoming for a man you’d never met, to have a fun weekend with a man you’d only talked online with… But I thought Derek liked me, like-liked me.
And I was wrong—again.
Maybe he’s in town on business and Paris sent him over. Maybe he’s been drinking and was lonely… Maybe I shouldn’t make excuses for his asshole behavior.
Kill two birds with one stone, isn’t that the way it goes? Go check on a girl for a friend and see about getting laid while in town on business. Isn’t that the way of it?
Heck that’s three birds, one stone. Even better.
She covered her mouth with both hands to hold in the crazy-sounding laugh that escaped. Unable to stop, she crumpled to the floor and tried hard to keep in the flood of useless tears, but they fell quicker than she did.
Do not fall apart. Breathe. Just breathe.
“Big jerk. What did he think? He would stop in and I’d be so turned on by him showing interest in me, I’d tear my clothes off? That I’d fall all over myself to let him in since he drove for hours?” She hit her knee with her fist but even that didn’t help. “Why are men like this?”
They can’t all be.
The flip flop of her emotions—from fear to anger—was going to make puking a reality.
Resting her face on her knees she concentrated on getting her breathing under control. When her heartbeat steadied she lifted her head and wiped her face with her sweatshirt sleeves.
I’m so tired of the bad ones. So very, very tired of the bad ones, but maybe that’s all I’ll ever attract, men that want what they see but only for some fun.
“No. I’m not going to believe that.” She swallowed, hating the way her voice shook. “I thought William was different, though.” She pushed to her feet. Obviously, he wasn’t. “Stupid.”
I need to create a warm, safe place by myself. Then I’ll be okay.
Chapter Four
Will studied Sara leaving the store parking lot and debated following her. He knew where she lived, worked and shopped. He knew when she slept and when she ate, how often she stayed up all night, reading, running on her treadmill or doing some kind of artsy stuff that he thought was amazing, but not good for her at four a.m.
The terror she displayed was a sucker punch to the gut. She doesn’t sleep because she fears her dreams.
She wasn’t suffering from the Duke drug. He’d not seen any evidence of it at least. But she was suffering.
Potter. The bastard. Did he hurt her?
On his taxi ride to the airport, he’d phoned Carson. At first, his ex-commander hadn’t wanted to talk, but when Will had informed him that he was landing in Orlando in a few hours, Carson had relented. He half-wished he hadn’t. The facts weren’t soothing. She had either come into contact with Potter in Wyoming, or she’d had contact with him since Wyoming. Carson hadn’t mentioned a word about the drug, and Will hadn’t offered any insight. He wasn’t a hundred percent certain she’d taken it or if she had, if she’d been affected.
Seeing her now, and having all those pieces Jansen had hinted at falling into place, tore his guts. He had to stop the instinctual desire to jump from his vehicle and go to her. The thought of her being harmed had his adrenaline spiking to that point he only reached in combat situations. This wasn’t a battle. There wasn’t going to be an enemy he could focus on through his scope and remove from the equation with a bullet.
How did I let this happen to her? Why didn’t I keep her with Paris back in Wyoming? At least at Duke’s she’d have been close enough for me to protect.
He knew why. Who’d protect her from me? He’d wanted her—wanted her badly enough to do all he could to keep her away so he didn’t have her. Sara’s smile, her bright presence had shocked his system with a jolt of something he’d thought he’d given up on long before.
But he’d known that, once he started with her, he might not be able to stop. There’d be no ‘dear John’ letter breaking his dreams to bits because he’d keep her close, so close she’d never be in danger again.
A black SUV pulled up in front of him, blocking his view of her leaving and breaking into the regrets. He focused on the driver when it didn’t move.
Troy, the rancher slash Army Ranger from Sonia Petrok’s new home in Wyoming, was behind the wheel.
“What the hell?” he muttered. He’d been set to meet Carson tonight, but nothing had been mentioned about any other team members, and especially not the cocky Ranger.
The cowboy tipped his Stetson. His grin didn’t reach the steel in his eyes as he lifted a hand off the wheel and pointed his finger like a gun toward the back of the store.
Will’s brain spun in a hundred different directions as he pulled out to follow. Why did Carson have me watch her for a week? Why wait until tonight to meet? Is Troy here to help or try and shut me out of the mission?
He’d heard things about the cowboy, things he didn’t appreciate. The man carried a few degrees behind his name. He was intelligent, probably as much of a lady’s man as his reputation warranted, and was still with the Rangers. So, why is he here, now, working with Carson?
Will wasn’t intimidated by him. He’d earned a Bachelors and the rank of Lieutenant Commander before he’d moved from the SEALs to deeper, more under the radar black operation units, the Sentinels being only one of them.
Troy had built a reputation for locating things. Maybe he was here to find Potter. But what was Will here for?
The explanation that a fresh set of eyes on the scene Carson gave him didn’t fit. A mission was always started as a team effort, not one man separated from the unit.
He considered texting Jansen. His last text had been to tell him he’d found Sara and she was okay. Jansen had been pissed he hadn’t spoken with her yet. Jansen wanted him in her home, with her. Or he wanted him to get her out of the situation and hide her. Will’s gut said that kind of thing wouldn’t work with a man like Potter. But his gut also twisted at the idea of her being exposed to the kind of sick horror Potter could inflict.
He glanced in his rearview mirror and wasn’t surprised to see another dark vehicle pulling out to follow him. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel hard enough to make his knuckles turn white.
The first SUV stopped by three semi-trucks parked nose to nose. Will in pulled in across from it. Troy got out, adjusting his shirt to hide his side arm, and walked over.
Will took a deep breath and joined him.
“Bryson, good to see you.” Troy shook his hand. “What brings you to Florida?”
“Troy.” He was more exhausted from the lack of sleep than he liked to be, but not tired enough to let Troy act as if shit wasn’t happening. He glanced at the SUV to his right where the men were still inside waiting, and then back to Troy.
Troy met his gaze firmly, not denying the men, nor offering any information. The team was good. He’d checked for anyone lingering around Sara as soon as he’d hit town. He’d seen no one. That meant Carson was using solid, seasoned agents. It should have reassured him. Instead his worry escalated.
Carson stepped out from behind the closest semi-truck. His former commander had his frown firmly in place as he closed the distance between them. Carson hadn’t changed a bit over the past six months. Not that Will believed the hardcore former-SEAL ever would. If anything, he seemed more pissed-off than usual.
“Paris is worried,” he offered instead of a hello.
“As she should be,” Carson growled. “Potter isn’t a joking matter. There are thirteen women dead to attest to that, more if we knew where to look, no doubt.”
At his response, a sharp stabbing sensation rippled through Will’s chest. Panic, an emotion he didn’t cope well with, tried to take hold. He shoved it down and tried to focus on the facts.
“Are you certain he’s got her in his sights?”
Carson exchanged a frown with Troy who shook his head.
He tensed his shoulders, but didn’t back down. “I’m not leaving. If anything, I’m going over to her home now, and getting her the hell out of here.”
Troy laughed. “It’s too late for that slick move. If you’re really this concerned, why show up now and not six months ago in Wyoming when she was hitchhiking across the country to hide from the bastard?”
Hitchhiking? He closed the distance between them. “You got a problem, Ranger? Believe me when I say, I’m more than capable of solving it.”
“My problem is you showing up. We don’t need your help. You’ve already caused enough damage,” Troy muttered.
“What the hell is he talking about?” Will turned to Carson for an explanation but Carson was focused on the ground at his feet. A panicky sensation climbed up to tighten Will’s throat.
“I’m not leaving. If you don’t want me in on the mission, that’s great news for me. I’ll go move her to a—”
“Hiding her won’t help.” Carson lifted his head. His eyes were bloodshot, from lack of sleep or just plain exhaustion, Will couldn’t say, but the man was worried. Carson never worried. He was now, and it was all directed at the woman who’d kept Will up nights trying to tame his desire for her.
“Then tell me what will because I’m not leaving.”
Carson studied him for longer than he liked. “Fine, but you’re now a part of this. The girl’s in trouble. A shitload of it, if our guesses are correct. If we’re wrong—” Carson crossed his arms and stared at him. Panic squeezed Will’s throat. “If we’re wrong, you sure the hell won’t do any harm. In fact, I think you might be what we need to drive the animal out of the bush.”
“How’s that?” Instincts he never ignored tightened his shoulder blades, warning him he’d not like the response he got from Carson.
“I think the best way to catch Potter is to piss the little arrogant prick off. We do that by placing you inside her house, by her side and in her bed.”
Will raised his eyebrows, not going for that at all. Use her as bait? No fucking way. He shook his head in denial, but Carson railroaded right over him.
“It’s a plan. I have a feeling it’s gonna do what an entire platoon of men couldn’t. Drag him out in the open.”
“Sir, with all due respect, Sara Stevens and I aren’t even close—”
“Smooth talk her, Bryson. I don’t care how you do it. Do it because you, my friend, are now going to be her boyfriend home from a long tour.” He shrugged as if that were an easy solution. “Possibly fiancé, if the boyfriend act doesn’t spur Potter into motion. Get a ring. He’ll be like a rabid dog.” Carson gave a short laugh. “You know what we do to animals with rabies, don’t you? Put them down.”
Chapter Five
Sara poured the steaming ziti she’d prepared for dinner into a bowl and tossed it lightly with olive oil and garlic, added the chopped basil and grated parmesan, then slid it all onto her plate. The aroma rolling off it was so good her mouth watered. She’d forgotten lunch and hadn’t had time to grab something from the cafeteria with the other teachers.
The sharp knock on the door startled her into almost wearing her dinner. She quickly straightened the plate and set it down on her kitchen table before she did end up covered in deliciousness. One glance at the time showed it was almost seven-thirty. No one ever came over, so she wasn’t sure what to do with an unwanted visitor this time of night.
Answer the door, obviously.
Yeah, that’s a problem. Answering the door meant the possibility of someone wanting inside.
She walked over and peeked past the sheer curtain, wishing she’d gotten a house with a solid door, not this window in the middle thing where anyone could see she was home.
At first, no one was there, then William Bryson stepped into view.
Wyoming came back in one sharp smack in the face. He’d been there. He’d seen her right after… He’d driven her to a hotel, but there been a tension in his body she knew all too well… She shut that thought down and focused on breathing.
He nodded stiffly then did the strangest thing. He smiled. He’d never smiled at her before—at least he hadn’t the two times she’d been near enough to him. It was a forced, uneasy thing that didn’t reach his eyes. Maybe that’s because I’m standing here staring at him.
After taking a breath, she dropped the curtain, zipped up her oversized gray hoodie, then tucked loose wisps of hair behind her ears and settled her nerves. She’d showered the scent of fear off her body, but at the reality she had to face a man sweat blossomed on her forehead and made her hands clammy.
Get it together. Say hi and send him off.
She cracked the door open, but left the chain on. “Hi, uh, William, right?”
“Yeah, you remember me.” He frowned at the door, then her. “Can I come in?”
“Uh, no, I mean, I’m not dressed for company.” How corny did that sound? “Maybe you could come back tomorrow?” She never let anyone in the house. The mere idea of this big, handsome solider in her space scared her enough she clenched the door knob. He was tall, but then she wasn’t, so most people were tall to her. She had to tip her head to meet his eyes and steel herself to keep eye contact.
“I’m sick. The flu you know?” She coughed which allowed her to avoid him directly. The first full impact of him—here—made her dizzy. She’d once laughed at Paris for saying she’d fallen in love with David on sight. But one glance at William and all those confusing longings she’d felt over the past six months, all centered on him, returned. She’d always been able to walk away, let go when she knew she couldn’t win, or if she thought she could win, go for it. She’d had her heart broken once. It helped her only give a little, and to only expect a little, too. But with William she’d been too scared to even think about trying to see where the interest in his eyes would lead them.
“Oh, damn. Sorry to hear that. I’m only in town for a little while. I thought I’d stop by, say hi. Invite you to dinner, but if you’re sick, I can get you something. Cold meds, maybe?” He smiled briefly again—a charming, lady-killer expression that probably dropped more panties than Justin Bieber ever could.
Her mouth went dry but her cheeks moistened in that I’m going to throw up way she’d grown to know so intimately these past few months.
Get it together. Speak! “Oh, I have what I need, thank you.” She put enough roughness in her voice so she sounded like a pack a day cigarette smoker. She coughed loudly into her fist for good measure.
His expression turned concerned with the right amount of pleading as he pressed a hand to the door to keep it slightly open.
“Hey, that sounds bad. How about I go get a movie and something for that cough? I’m a pretty strong guy. I’m certain you can’t hurt me. A nice night with company might be the cure you need.”
The thing about what she’d been through was that now, when she met a man, she could see things she wouldn’t have noticed before. Like when a guy was laying on the bullshit. William’s sincerity was lost on her because more than twice his gaze had lowered to her breasts, checking her out so smoothly she wouldn’t have noticed if she’d not been hyper aware of every minor detail of him. She could even see the sly way he slid his hand up the door so he could lean in, closer so he was within inches of her face to say, “I bet I have ways to take your mind off your ailments that will get you back to right in no time.”
She wasn’t taking him up on that bet. He hadn’t been this way before. He’d barely spoken to her and had seemed relieved to drop her off. She shut down those memories and focused on getting him off her porch.
“You’re sweet to offer,” she managed to say, and smiled as brightly as she could. “But I wouldn’t want to give you anything—”
“You can give me anything you want,” he murmured, as if right on cue. “I’ve been worried about you, to be honest, but you’re as beautiful as ever.”
The suave line jangled on her nerves, making her want to shut the door and slide down it to hug herself. Then shower again.
All she managed to do was keep the smile firmly in place and hope it was sincere enough to make him take her no for a no.
“Thanks, really, but I have to get some rest. Maybe tomorrow?”
He shocked her by laughing softly as if he couldn’t believe she was turning him down.
“Aw, really? I drove for hours, and found your place after a few more for this tiny side street no one seems to put on a map.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. That sounds terrible, but I think you should go.” Her voice came out stronger. He must have heard her conviction because he narrowed his eyes and stood taller, dropping the arm he’d been leaning on to get closer to her.
“Tell Paris I’m fine. I’ll even call her. Good seeing you.” She shut the door quick-like when he opened his mouth. As soon as it was closed she threw the bolt lock and leaned against the kitchen wall next to the door and held her breath.
Her lungs protested the lack of oxygen but she waited until she could hear William’s heavy footsteps receding from her porch before she moved. She thought he grumbled a little, but she didn’t try to understand the muffled words.
“God! So stupid. So stupid. He probably thinks I’m a complete bitch!” She whispered the words but they echoed through the empty house and mocked her with their truthfulness.
Does it matter? I’ll never see him again, and that’s a good thing, right? A soft sob broke past her control. If only he could help me, keep me safe and…be here because he was worried about me, because he did care.
He’d come on strong, much stronger than she would have ever guessed from the stern, silent solider who’d driven her to a hotel—twice. She’d been frightened of him then, so scared she’d been unable to fill the silence with useless chatter to relieve the tension. He hadn’t either.
But this time was…different. He acts like I’m some kind of booty call. Why? Because he thinks I am. She shut her eyes and fisted her hands. Why would he think that? Why wouldn’t he? You were in Wyoming for a man you’d never met, to have a fun weekend with a man you’d only talked online with… But I thought Derek liked me, like-liked me.
And I was wrong—again.
Maybe he’s in town on business and Paris sent him over. Maybe he’s been drinking and was lonely… Maybe I shouldn’t make excuses for his asshole behavior.
Kill two birds with one stone, isn’t that the way it goes? Go check on a girl for a friend and see about getting laid while in town on business. Isn’t that the way of it?
Heck that’s three birds, one stone. Even better.
She covered her mouth with both hands to hold in the crazy-sounding laugh that escaped. Unable to stop, she crumpled to the floor and tried hard to keep in the flood of useless tears, but they fell quicker than she did.
Do not fall apart. Breathe. Just breathe.
“Big jerk. What did he think? He would stop in and I’d be so turned on by him showing interest in me, I’d tear my clothes off? That I’d fall all over myself to let him in since he drove for hours?” She hit her knee with her fist but even that didn’t help. “Why are men like this?”
They can’t all be.
The flip flop of her emotions—from fear to anger—was going to make puking a reality.
Resting her face on her knees she concentrated on getting her breathing under control. When her heartbeat steadied she lifted her head and wiped her face with her sweatshirt sleeves.
I’m so tired of the bad ones. So very, very tired of the bad ones, but maybe that’s all I’ll ever attract, men that want what they see but only for some fun.
“No. I’m not going to believe that.” She swallowed, hating the way her voice shook. “I thought William was different, though.” She pushed to her feet. Obviously, he wasn’t. “Stupid.”
