All About Max, page 12
“What an excellent idea!” said Pearl. “You are a clever young man, indeed. You will go far at Measley Manor, don’t you think, sister?”
“Oh yes!” said Ruby. “But we mustn’t keep you from your duties. So run along now,” she paused to give Max a sly smile, “I mean tiptoe along, of course!”
They turned to wave at Max as they drifted silently down the hall. Max kept on tiptoeing right past Mrs. Dumpty’s door. But as soon as the Measley’s had disappeared, he turned swiftly back, and knocked.
“I’m sorry,” said Mrs. Dumpty’s voice from behind the door. “But I’m in my robe. Could you return later? Who is it, please?”
“The Measley’s are out prowling the halls. I...I have something important to show you,” said Max.
The door flew open at once. Mrs. Dumpty wasn’t in her robe at all, but dressed in her slacks and a bright turquoise shirt. And she wasn’t alone.
“It’s okay!” she said in the direction of her closet, whose doors were closed.
The closet doors opened, and out came Ms. Bo Peep and Police Officer Dickory.
“Darlin’,” said Mrs. Dumpty, “Ms. Bo Peep had something important to tell me as well, and she brought Officer Dickory along so we could have a conference and decide what to do about it. But let’s hear what you have to tell us.”
“Well,” said Max, “you know that Mitzi and I were going exploring and had the old map with us. What we found was that there was some very suspicious digging going on around some of the graves in the cemetery. The Measley’s and the goons were definitely looking for something.”
“As we all suspected, darlin’,” said Mrs. Dumpty.
“Mitzi and I and Moxie and Mojo, who we had with us, didn’t hang around there for long. We went on down to the cove that I didn’t even know was there. Well, I thought the cemetery was the spooky place Mitzi had told me about. But seems it was a place at the cove. It was a cave Mitzi discovered hidden behind some wild blackberry bushes under those rickety old stairs. So we went in. Moxie and Mojo were getting all excited about something hidden behind a crack in the wall. So we dug behind there and found this old sack. And in the sack, we found a pile of these.” Max reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a gold coin. “I thought it might be a gold doubloon.”
The three Goose-ites gasped.
“Here, let me have a look at it,” said Officer Dickory. He took the coin from Max and turned it back and forth in his hands. “I’m no expert, but I’d guess that’s what this is. Mrs. Muffet probably would have a better idea.”
“Mercy!” said Mrs. Dumpty
“Mercy, indeed!” said Officer Dickory. “Even a small sack full of these must be worth a fortune. So where’s the sack now?”
“We decided to hide it right back where we found it,” said Max and then hesitated, “I...I mean, the dogs decided it for us.”
“How did they do that, darlin’?”’ asked Mrs. Dumpty.
“I...I asked them,” said Max. “I...I can talk to animals.”
“Why aren’t I surprised?” said Mrs. Dumpty, giving a knowing look at Ms. Bo Peep and Officer Dickory.
“Mitzi wondered if we had to tell the Measley’s about this as the cave might be on the Measley Manor property,” said Max. “But the dogs said we should tell you first.”
“Those are two smart dogs,” said Officer Dickory, and then added, “Which we’ve all known!”
“I’m not sure if it was Moxie or Mojo,” said Max. “But one of them suggested we put a coin on one of the gravesites in the cemetery where the goons had been digging to throw them off.”
“Smarter and smarter,” said Officer Dickory. “Brilliant! I assume you did just that?”
“Oh sure!” said Max. “But are we going to have to tell the Measley’s about this? I mean, if we found the stuff on their land and all that?”
The three Mother Goose-ites exchanged narrow-eyed glances.
“The question is, Max,” said Officer Dickory, “what is and isn’t their land. This is something we have to find out.”
“And to add to all this, darlin’,” said Mrs. Dumpty, “you remember I said Ms. Bo Peep had something important to tell us.”
Max nodded.
“Tell Max what you think you may have found out, Peeps,” said Mrs. Dumpty.
“Remember what I was doing when you came into my room, Max?” asked Ms. Bo Peep.
“Looked to me as if you were studying fingerprints,” said Max.
“Exactly!” said Ms. Bo Peep. “Used to be part of my profession as a detective, and now it’s a hobby. But when I came here, which was when it was still Dolly Manor, I also brought some files with me, nothing to do with fingerprints. Several of them contained old newspaper clippings I’d hung on to, not really thinking they’d be of any use as I was out of the detecting business. I was going through them just last night thinking I might as well get rid of them, when one of the pictures caught my eye. It was of a group of ten people, and four of them looked vaguely familiar. I picked up my magnifying glass and took a closer look. Then I took an even closer look, and decided to have a meeting with Officer Dickory and Mrs. Dumpty.”
“Show him the picture, Peeps,” said Mrs. Dumpty. “He’s probably got better eyesight than the three of us put together. And read what it says under the picture, darlin’.”
Ms. Bo Peep handed Max the yellowed newspaper clipping she’d been holding, along with her large magnifying glass.
Max read the caption under the picture, and then at the picture itself.
“Four of them...“ Max looked closer, “look sort of like...“
“Sort of?” asked Ms. Bo Peep.
“Well, it’s more exactly like...” said Max.
“Bingo!” said Ms. Bo Peep. “And don’t even breathe the word. We all know it, and that’s what the three of us think.”
“Wow!” said Max.
“Wow, indeed, darlin’,” said Mrs. Dumpty. “So go on, Peeps.”
“The problem is, I can’t really go on,” said Ms. Bo Peep. “Our private telephones have been removed, and the only one in the hall for us all to use we believe is bugged. They even took our computers away from those of us who had them. We are totally incommunicado, so to speak. Do you understand what that means, young man?”
“Sure,” said Max. “It means there’s no way you can reach anyone you need to reach to tell them about this.”
“Bingo again!” said Ms. Bo Peep.
“So I guess we can’t call anyone about the doubloons either, can we?”
asked Max.
“Well, there is one person we could talk to about it,” said Mrs. Dumpty.
“I think we should talk to Moose and see what he thinks.”
“Moose? But...but,” Max stammered, “Moose isn’t...well, Moose is just a handyman. How...how would he know what to do?”
“Is that what you think?” asked Mrs. Dumpty. “Just a handyman? Exactly how much do you know about your cousin Moose, darlin’?”
Max shrugged. “I guess not much except he’s a handyman who probably only graduated from kindergarten or grade school. I...I’m not even sure he’s my cousin, or anything else.”
The three Mother Goose-ites all exchanged glances and shook their heads.
“Darlin’,” said Mrs. Dumpty, “I think you need a serious talk with Moose.
Tell him what you think, and then I think you should believe what he tells you.”
“Should...should I tell him about the doubloons?” asked Max.
“Absolutely!” said Officer Dickory. “And tell him Mrs. Dumpty and Ms. Bo Peep and I urgently need to consult with him.”
“Will you do that, darlin’?” asked Mrs. Dumpty.
Max nodded. That was about all he was capable of doing at that moment.
Chapter XXI
In which Max makes his report to Moose.
“S o what is there about Moose that I don’t know?” Max asked Moxie and Mojo that night when Moose had happily invited him for his favorite broccoli pizza.
“Beats us,” said Moxie.
“You’ll have to ask him yourself,” said Mojo.
Max already knew he’d have to do that. He was beginning to admit to himself that the only things Sir Launcelot and Lady Guinevere had said to him, and now Moxie and Mojo, were things he already knew, or wanted to hear. Pencival had said that if he believed he talked to animals, and more especially that they talked back to him, that he was loony. He knew his parents only pretended to believe it. But Moose didn’t question it. Neither did Mitzi. Was he just imagining that he could talk to animals? Did it matter as long as he believed it?
Anyway, he decided to wait until he and Moose had finished their dinner of pizza with broccoli (again, but Max didn’t mind), watching the evening news on television as they ate before saying anything to him. Then, as soon as Moose had settled himself into his chair and picked up his book, Max went and stood in front of him.
“What is it, kid?” Moose asked. “Got something on your mind?”
“Yes, this,” said Max, and held out the gold coin.
Moose took it from him and flipped it back and forth in his fingers. Then he gave a low whistle.
“Where did this come from?” he asked.
“Mitzi and I found a whole sack of them in the cave down by the shore that Mitzi discovered once. It’s behind the wild blackberry bushes under the old stairwell. Well, it was more like Moxie and Mojo found the sack,” said Max. “They were digging in the wall because they must have smelled some kind of sea creature that had died there, a crab or something. Or that’s what we thought anyway. Then we realized that the cave was marked on the map with an X.”
“The plot seems to be thickening,” said Moose. “What map are we talking about?”
“It’s one Mrs. Dumpty found in her closet,” Max replied. “The Mother Goose-ites all said it was okay for me to have it, because I told the Measley’s I’d spy for them, which I only did so I could tell them fairy tales about what I found out and...”
“Whoah! Whoah! Whoah, there, Max!” said Moose, holding up a hand. “You’re getting way ahead of me. First of all, you’ve been here a couple of weeks or so and you’re already on the in track with the Mother Goose-ites, as you call them. Would you like to explain how that happened? Take your time. I’m listening.”
Max looked down and studied the toes of his shoes. “I...I...I told Mrs. Dumpty my story, and...and...and she said she’d be my grandmother, and...and...I sort of cried. Not a lot. Just...just...just a little. I...
I...I never cry!”
“I do,” said Moose. “Crying is okay. And heaven knows you have a right to cry buckets, Max. Forget about it. Anyway, so go on.”
“Well,” Max began, “one night I saw Digger and Dork leaving the building with shovels and lanterns, and later the Measley’s showed up. They went off somewhere together. Then the next night I saw the Mother Goose-ites all going in same direction with their flashlights. I ran out and warned them that Digger and Dork and the Measley’s might be showing up. So they came right back in, and then Mrs. Dumpty invited me to a meeting in her room the next day. They have these meetings, Moose, where she tells their fortunes from fortune cookies. It’s really neat.”
“Fortune cookie fortunes, eh? They’ve never invited me to have my fortune told. I should feel insulted.” Moss said, grinning. “You really seem to have won them over, Max. But what, I’d like to know, ever happened to wrinkled old people who give you the creeps?”
“I guess they’re sort of still wrinkled old people,” Max said uncomfortably, “But...but...but I guess they...they...they don’t give me the creeps anymore.”
“Glad to hear that,” said Moose. “But we’ve strayed way off the subject. Let’s go back to the map and the gold coins. By the way, though how come it wasn’t just you, but you and Mitzi who went exploring. I had the feeling you two were more or less at each other’s throats when you met.”
“Oh,” said Max indifferently, “she’s okay. She’s...she’s pretty cool, and all that. We’ve sort of become friends.”
“I’m glad you two have teamed up,” Moose said. “You’re right, she’s a cool kid. But was it okay with the...um...er...Mother Goose-ites for her to know about the map?”
“Oh sure!” said Max. “I mean, they know the Measley’s have tried to get her to spy as well as me. She told them she would, but she’s not going to. I gave her the idea of feeding them a bunch of junk, though.” Max tried to look modest, but probably wasn’t too successful.
“I’ll bet you did!” said Moose, grinning again. “So let’s go on about the map and the gold coins. Why did you decide to come to me with this?”
“Because the Mother Goose-ites wanted me to tell you about it. They say they urgently need to consult with you. I’m not sure why,” said Max. “Maybe they’ve never told you about the fortune cookie fortunes, but I...I...I think they really like you and trust you.”
“Good to know,” Moose said. “The feeling is mutual. I’ll make it a point to see Mrs. Dumpty as soon as possible.”
“But please be careful, Moose,” said Max. “Those Measley’s come creeping around and you never know where they are or when they’ll be there.”
“Don’t worry,” said Moose. “I’m on to the two of them. Just you be careful as well, kid. They can be very persuasive. Now, is there anything else you want to tell me?”
“Sort...sort...sort of,” said Max, not quite able to look Moose in the eye.
“Well then, out with it,” said Moose, stretching his legs ahead of him comfortably. “I’m listening.”
Max ran over to the bookcase, pulled out the folder that held the large piece of paper he had accidentally spilled. Then he took it over to Moose and handed it to him.
“I...I...I guess I thought this was a fake. I mean, you being a handyman and all that. But...but...but could you explain it? Mrs. Dumpty said I was to ask you, and I was to believe everything you told me.”
“And will you?” asked Moose.
“Sure,” said Max.
And meant it.
Chapter XXII
In which Max learns this lesson from Moose: that while skimmed milk can often masquerade as cream, the reverse can be just as true, that cream can masquerade as skimmed milk.
“I wasn’t snooping, Moose, honest,” said Max. “It just fell out of the folder on the shelf I knocked into accidentally.”
“No apologies necessary,” said Moose. “But what it is you wanted to know about it?”
“I didn’t look at it very carefully,” said Max. “But I what I saw I figured was probably a fake.”
“Because I’m just working here as a handyman living off a garage?” asked Moose.
Max nodded slowly.
“And you figured I was probably lucky to graduate from grade school?”
Max nodded again. He didn’t think he’d better mention graduating from kindergarten.
“Can’t say I blame you,” said Moose. “But you do know what this is, don’t you?”
Max nodded a third time.
“And though I suppose it could be done, wouldn’t you know it could be a pretty hard thing to fake?”
“I guess so,” said Max. “But if it’s true, what are you doing here? I mean, who graduates from a university with a law degree and gets a job as a handyman in a home for old people?”
“And you might ask who passes the bar, gets a job with a top law firm at an enormous salary, and ends up at Measley Manor? I don’t blame you for wondering about it, Max,” Moose said. “I sometimes wonder about it myself, until I go back to the reason for it. Then I stop wondering.”
“So what’s the reason?” Max asked.
“The reason,” said Moose, “is that I had a tragedy in my life just as you did. My wife, Peggy, and I had been sweethearts since we were in first grade. When she died having a baby who might have been not much older than you if he’d lived, I lost interest in law and the company I was with. So I just chucked it all and for a couple of years signed on as a seaman on a freighter. If you look further in that file folder, you’ll see my papers for that as well.”
“But how did you end up here?” asked Max.
“Just saw an ad in a paper and applied for the job,” Moose replied. “It was Dolly Manor then. Shortly after I signed up, Martin and Mary Dolly had to sell the place. Seems they weren’t very good managers and were ready to lose it anyway. I’m not sure I would have joined up if I’d had an interview with the Measley girls.”
“So why are you staying?” Max asked. “Can’t you just leave?”
“Sure,” said Moose. “But I’ve fallen for all your Mother Goose-ites, just as I believe you have. I think the Measley’s are doing everything they can to make their lives miserable. The fact they aren’t entirely succeeding just shows what kind of spirit these lovely old people have. Anyway, I’m sticking around, with the crazy idea that maybe my law degree might come in handy one of these days. Don’t ask me how. But I’m not going to desert them. And that’s the whole story, Max.”
Suddenly, Max found himself grinning.
“So what’s so funny?” Moose asked.
“What’s so funny,” said Max, “is that you sticking around with your law degree might not be so crazy after all. Mrs. Dumpty, Ms. Bo Peep, and Officer Dickory have told me to tell you that they want to meet with you right away. They have something very interesting to show you.”
“And I suppose you know what it is?’ said Moose.
“I just might,” said Max.
“Is it something to do with the gold coins?” asked Moose.
“That’s just part of it,” said Max.
“And I suppose you’re not going to tell me the rest?” said Moose.
“Nope!” said Max. “I think they’d better do it. But please, whatever you do, don’t let the Measley’s know.”
“Look, I may be a mere guy with a law degree, and not a Ballyhoo boy, Max, but I think I’m smart enough not to go running to the Measley’s unless the building is burning down,” said Moose. “And even that’s not a dead certainty.”
