Ruby: A Reverse Harem Romance (Jewels Cafe Book 6), page 5
Migs and Bar both chuckled as I punched each of them in the arm. “Fuckers.”
Migs grinned, proud of himself. I rolled my eyes. The demon in me was proud of him, too. Shithead.
Migs glanced around me at the clock. “You have sixty seconds to come up with a winning pickup line. Or an equivalent to Bar’s.”
My heart started to pound fast. Even though this was a nothing contest, I loved a challenge. I wracked my brain. Of course, since we worked with phones and computers all day, those were the things that came to mind. “Are you a speed charger? Because right now, you’ve got my device 100% charged.”
Migs grinned. “Decent. Lightning round—face off. Thirty seconds each. First to flop grabs coffee.”
He turned to Bar, the baby-faced one in our group. Bar just smirked at me. “Wrote out five of my own yesterday, fucker. Prepare to go down.” He pulled out a sheet of paper and cleared his throat. “Call me Google. Cause I’m gonna let you search my engine and then I’m gonna crawl all over you.”
Dammit. Double whammy. I felt my blood pulse in my ears. The testosterone started racing. The need to win became a visceral thing and my damn horns popped back out. Migs couldn’t see them, because he didn’t know about the supernatural world, but Bar looked at me funny. I ignored him as I wracked my brain for computer knowledge. I’d been assigned to earth for thirty years, so I pulled out the old guns. “I’m gonna take it as slow as dial up so you’ll scream like an old school modem.”
Bar’s hand fisted on his paper.
That’s right, motherfucker! Demon’s got game! I wobbled my head at him and made a stupid face to piss him off more.
He narrowed his eyes and glanced back at his list. “I bet I can guess your password. Is it “three orgasms?” If it isn’t, I can help you change that.”
“Can I connect to your hotspot?” I got breathy on the last word and leaned into Bar, batting my eyes until Migs was doubled over in laughter.
Bar slid down to the other side of the dining table. He cleared his throat and blinked his pretty brown eyes. He bit his lip with an innocent expression. “My head’s always in the cloud. But now that I’ve seen you, my heart’s there, too.”
Everyone froze. What the motherfuck? Sweet? He’d pulled out sweet? Dammit all to fucking hell.
“Winner!” Migs declared, pointing at Barrister.
Black claws popped out in place of my fingernails and my teeth elongated to fangs.
Bar didn’t even blink an eye. He’d seen me go full demon before. “You like that bitch? I got more where those came from.” Then he turned around and started twerking as he rapped, “Girl, call me GoDaddy when you back that app up. Back that app up.”
Migs and I collapsed in laughter as Barrister turned around and said, “That’s right. Don’t mess with the master.”
Migs shook his head, gasping even as he pointed. “That last one is so inaccurate. I can’t even. GoDaddy doesn’t host apps.”
Bar shrugged. “It still rocked.”
I sighed and dug into my pockets for my wallet. I checked for cash. I never used a card because of the electronic trail it left, since, technically, my human was dead. “Guess I’m taking orders. What do you idiots want to drink?”
I rolled my eyes as I walked into Jewels Cafe, joining the line there. I inhaled the fresh scent of coffee and smiled. I waved my hand and fried two phones, as the people behind me walked in with their heads glued to their screens. One guy started complaining right away. The other just stared at his phone in disbelief. I turned my head to avoid that bunny shifter that worked here; he was in the corner, his brown hair had this close crop on the sides to make him look more badass. It really just made him easier to pick out in a crowd. Which was good for me, because he immediately sat up in his chair by the window and eyed the two guys with messed up phones as they complained. I knew that bunny shifter was into some kind of social media or something and I’d fried his laptop often enough that he was suspicious of me.
I turned toward the opposite side of the cafe and gave him my back as I double checked that my horns weren’t showing in the window reflection. I had to tweak the magic a little because one of them popped out. I slid forward and a tall guy blocked the bunny shifter from view. I studied the menu. It wasn’t until I’d finished deciding on my order and took a step forward when the line moved that I noticed her. Once I did, I couldn’t believe I’d been able to look at anything else.
The woman in front of me had gorgeous, flowing hair that fell in waves down her spine. Her ass was a perfect bubble beneath a pink skirt that highlighted its perfection. Her voice drifted back over to me and was as melodic as a harp. Everything about her called to me. I even had a stupid thought that I liked her shoes. They were flats that showed she was practical and not all hung up on appearances. I bumped into her “accidentally,” hoping she’d turn around. She did.
And fire and brimstone. She was so hot she was volcanic. She had straight brows, deep grey eyes, and this large bottom lip I couldn’t stop staring at. Not to mention her hourglass figure. Fuck. “Sorry, I’m clumsy,” I muttered.
Instead of rolling her eyes like I expected, her face brightened at that. “Oh, I am too! I think it’s the boobs for me though, always messing up my balance.”
Her friend—a blonde woman—face palmed next to her. “Ruby, we don’t talk about boobs to strangers.”
I held out my hand, “Hi, I’m Parker. See, not a stranger. Feel free to talk to me about boobs all you want.”
Ruby grinned and took my hand. Her head tilted and she wore a puzzled expression. “Have we met before?”
“I’m pretty sure I would have remembered you,” I said, stroking the back of her hand with my thumb. “It’s not often I meet angels in real life.”
She stiffened and then twisted, her hand still in my grip. “Are my wings showing? Shoot! I thought I did that spell to retract them right.”
My heart froze. My system errored. My entire existence went 404—page not found. No. No. No. No. I scanned the coffee shop, which was buzzing with humans and supernaturals alike. Was there a torture demon in here? Some upper management devil from a lower ring of hell sent just to smack me down? They generally focused on humans but … I studied every face in the coffee shop. There was the blonde barista, her bear mate sweeping the floor. Human. Human. I didn’t see another of my kind, even in disguise. I would have been able to sense them. Then what the fuck? Why was I drawn to an angel? A god-loving enemy?
I turned back to Ruby and my words came out scratchy. “You’re really an angel?”
She blinked. “Oh, wait. I thought you were a supernatural. I saw a horn flicker and just thought billy-goat shifter. Are you not a supe?” Her hand smacked her cheek. “I’m not supposed to tell non-supes. Darn it.”
My ego didn’t even have time to be bruised by the billy-goat thing. The little shred of Bar’s soul inside me was too busy clawing at itself, flagellating its back, crying and bemoaning our fate. I agreed, so wrapped up in self-pity that I didn’t notice when Ruby extracted her hand from mine and went to place her order. I forgot to move forward until the guy in line behind me tapped me on the shoulder.
I put in an order; I didn’t even know if it was the right one. I felt dazed, kind of like I had centuries ago when I’d been stationed on a planet helping out with a Great Cleansing. We’d won, the bad guys had taken the planet. But I’d felt awful about it. I was an awful warrior demon. Killing had never been my strong suit. I was much more comfortable in the annoyance and bad mood realm of hell. That was where I thrived. Ticking people off. Instigating political conversations that led to shouting matches and ended friendships. That was more fulfilling to me than dead bodies. Because dead was done. Over. And half the people we killed were possibly going to heaven anyway. But having someone stub their toe, then lose their keys, drop their phone in the toilet? Those torturous possibilities were endless. They could go on for years.
I didn’t know of anyone ever torturing a demon and an angel via attraction. Humans, sure, all the time. Making them think that someone was their soulmate when they were actually a match made in hell—there was a whole division for that.
Oh shit. Soul. Soulmate. I had part of a human soul. Did angels have souls? I hadn’t looked at the Angelic Cheat Codes for centuries.
If angels had souls … was Ruby … Barrister’s soulmate?
I felt like that witch in that movie that got crushed by a house. Everything but my feet felt smashed flat. I fucking hated Bar for a second, jealousy lighting up every nerve ending in my body.
I glanced over at Ruby, who had slid into a seat and was blowing the steam off her coffee mug. Her wings flickered into view for a second, before she waved her hand and made them invisible again. But even just that glimpse had me wanting to stroke them, to see if they were as soft as they looked. My heart pulsed so hard I felt it in my throat. Everything in that little scrap of soul I had was drawn to her, wanted her, needed her.
Fuck.
She took a sip of her drink. And then her eyes rose to meet mine.
It felt like I’d been tossed into the middle rung of hell. Like I was melting in lava. I was pure molten need. I burned for her. Every part of my body ached because I wasn’t touching her. Because we were apart. My vision grew tunneled. I didn’t see anything else. Just her. I took a step toward her and she stood, taking a half step toward me, her arm stretching out, fingers reaching for me. Mine mirrored it, like some goddamned disgusting slow-motion Hallmark scene. Or that damned ceiling that dead dude painted. But even as I mocked myself, I couldn’t stop it. I had to touch her. Had to.
Her friend stood at the table, chair scraping backward as she latched onto Ruby’s arm and pulled my woman off balance.
My woman.
I rushed forward to pull Ruby back from her. But the blonde woman stepped between us. Her eyes flickered back and forth between me and Ruby as we held eye contact and sought out one another’s hands around her. The blonde smacked our hands down. “Outside,” she commanded and jerked her head toward the door of the coffee shop.
I offered my elbow like some weird old-fashioned idiot. But Ruby took it. When she touched me, my entire body hummed. Yes. This was right. So goddamned fucking right.
I led Ruby through the throng of people and out onto the cobblestone sidewalk. Her friend marched ahead, giving death glares at everyone walking by until she’d cleared a space for us. Then she whirled around.
“Amethyst,” Ruby asked, as her fingers stroked the crook of my elbow. “What is it?”
Amethyst pointed an accusing finger at me. “This demon’s trying to get you axed. He just put a mating spell on you!”
Chapter 5
Ruby
“Demon!” I turned to stare up at Parker’s handsome face, which was drawn and serious. His horns were visible again. Two little black bumps. But those weren’t demon horns. Demon horns were long and curled and—dammit all to hell (oh shit, I cursed again!) I was thinking of warrior demons. Those were what I knew. Vicious, black, scaled demons who swung swords and tried to remove my head from my body. But, obviously, there were other types of demons. Was Parker some other kind of demon?
“I didn’t put a spell on you,” Parker whispered.
“The fuck you didn’t!” Amethyst snapped. “I can see the spell connecting you two. It’s a bright red, fiery rope.”
Parker grabbed my hand from his elbow and held it gently between his. His hands felt good, warm and strong and slightly rough. “I wouldn’t do that to you, Ruby. I promise. I saw you and I just, immediately, was drawn to you.”
I swallowed hard, torn between lust and pure terror. My human body vibrated, practically singing with emotions. My eyes teared up for some reason, which made Parker give me a tortured look, which in turn only added to the vicious internal whiplash I was experiencing.
My cheeks burned. My throat closed. My fingers tingled under Parker’s touch. My nipples tightened and my feet shuffled closer to him, studying his brown eyes beneath the rectangle-frame glasses he wore. I reached up with my free hand and adjusted his crooked, dull-gold bow tie.
Somehow, that gesture felt intimate. And right. It made his breath catch.
I watched him swallow hard and I found myself doing the same as a hot, tingling sensation shot through my human body and settled near my loins.
“Fuck,” I whispered.
“Yes. Let’s,” he whispered back.
Amethyst wedged herself bodily between us. “No. Let’s not. You’re going through some sort of magical weirdness right now. Who knows? Maybe it was that bit of soul I put into you—maybe that dude I got it from was a demon sex fiend—”
“Soul?” Parker asked, turning back to look at me.
I blushed hard and my wings popped out, my magic shield failing in my embarrassment. “She gave me a little bit of human soul to help me with common sense.”
Parker stumbled back a step. His eyes narrowed at Amethyst. “Wait. What was your name?”
My BEF crossed her arms. “None of your beeswax.”
I had no idea what bees had to do with this conversation, but I sensed this wasn’t the time to ask.
Parker looked back over at me. “Is this Amethyst?”
I nodded.
His face paled. He dropped his travel tray full of coffees at our feet and we all had to jump back in order to avoid the scalding liquid. But that meant that I lost my balance—of course. My arms windmilled and Parker leapt forward to save me from face-planting in the hot brown puddle of coffee.
His arms wrapped around me and he lifted me up. His touch made my head into a hazy, cloudy mess full of raindrops and rainbows. His hand slid past my butt and my brain lit up a bright blazing red that made me want to rub against him like I’d seen cats do to trees or women do to men in music videos, though why men stood like trees and let women spread their scent on them like cats was just plain confusing.
I opened my mouth, about to ask Parker about this cat-like urge, but then he swung me around so that he carried me bridal style, surprising me. He leaned down and his forehead nearly touched mine, energy crackling between us as he said, “I need you to come home with me. There’s someone you need to meet.”
He ran before Amethyst could stop him, pulling me tight against him. He was so fast that everything blurred around us. I could hear her shouting a hex as he rounded the corner, but her purple blast of magic shot down the street and hit a tree instead. Its leaves shriveled.
I tried to protest, but Parker’s arms felt so good and suddenly I couldn’t remember English. I could only think in Aramaic, in Gloobish, in Kirackadoo. But all those thoughts amounted to the same thing: If this was what kidnapping looked like, if this was the dark side, sign me the fuck up!
Amethyst chased after us, screaming. People in the streets turned to stare at her. I watched her over Parker’s shoulder—she was such a good friend to try and defend me against the enemy. Just like a soldier! Only, Parker wasn’t the enemy. I looked up at him. Was he? He didn’t feel like the enemy. I could feel his heart pounding against my side as he ran up a hill. His breath was minty, and his clothes had a soft Downy-fresh scent. He didn’t smell like the enemy. Demons smelled like fire and brimstone.
Maybe Amethyst was confused. Maybe she’d had a spell put on her? She was a curse-worker. It seemed more likely that she’d be a curse target than me. That seems right, I thought, as I snuggled into Parker’s arms, admiring his bicep and trying to resist that annoying cat-like urge to rub my face against it. Poor Amethyst had a curse that made her see a goat shifter as a demon. I felt bad for her. Maybe she needs a miracle from me, too.
I glanced back. Amethyst had run out of breath and bent in half, her hands grabbing onto her knees as she struggled to take in air. Parker didn’t even seem winded. Of course, his body was full of muscle that rubbed deliciously against me, sending those hot tingles through me every so often, particularly when his fingers clenched down on my hips.
My hand twitched, interested in reaching up and tracing the square line of his jaw.
I had to hold myself back. I had to remind myself that Amethyst said he was a demon. That this was a major problem, even if she was delusional. I had to remind myself that I was a two-strike angel. He might not feel like the enemy, but I was having human emotions. And human emotions were insane. And I couldn’t afford any other mistakes. In fact—shit!—I should be back home cleaning up, getting ready for my mentor!
I wriggled out of Parker’s hold when he came to a stop. “I—we—” my English failed me, and I just ended up shaking my head.
Parker pressed his lips together. “I know. I know. I just need you to meet someone—”
His words were interrupted when the door behind him swung open. The door to what looked like a computer shop, if the display window was anything to go by.
“Hey, dickhead, where’s our coffee?” A hot guy with dark hair joked as he leaned against the door, partially blocked from view by Parker’s broad shoulder.
Something about the guy’s voice seemed familiar. I leaned around Parker to look at the other man. To my surprise, I recognized him. He was wearing a shirt today. But he was the man who’d stood by me last night when I’d cried. The man who’d offered to help me.
My throat tightened as I remembered just how sweet he’d been. I hadn’t noticed in the shadows, with his baseball cap on and everything, but he was handsome. His black hair gleamed in the morning light and his thick brows were the broody kind that Amethyst loved in that Xena show she’d had me watch. He had Ares-level brows. And his warm, coffee-colored eyes met mine.
It was the moment in the coffee shop all over again.
Zing. Bang. Boom. All those cartoon explosion words. My chest ached like a hole had been blown inside it, a hole only he could fill.
The guy’s jaw fell open.
That meant scared, right? Shit! I looked behind me to make sure no demons were gathering, that Parker hadn’t led me into a trap, or Amethyst hadn’t magically caught up and hurled a hex our way. But no one was there. I turned back to the two men. My heart thrummed hard as Parker went to stand beside the other guy.
