Ruby: A Reverse Harem Romance (Jewels Cafe Book 6), page 4
Was one expression of sympathy not enough? Did I need another? Cumulonimbus bunnies! Cutting off demon heads was so much easier. I sat back and stretched my sore back as I wracked my brain for something else to say. “I’m so sorry your parents seem unreasonable to you.”
My words were met with dead silence. Was she thinking? Was my message sinking in? An excited little bubble of hope formed in the pit of my stomach. Sunrays! I hoped that I was having a breakthrough! Who needed a mentor anyway—
Holly stood up, fixing her clothes after being on the floor so long. She yanked at her oversized, off-the-shoulder green sweater as she stared down at me. “What the fuck, Ruby? I thought you were on my side! This is bullshit. I quit!” She grabbed her handbag.
Panic burbled in my stomach. It felt just like one of those moments before I took an arrow to the gut—I stood quickly, blood rushing to my head. “No! Wait! What?”
But, just like this afternoon, Holly didn’t wait. She stomped off, around the mess she’d made, giving the stack of boxes one last kick for good measure.
“Holly—”
She was gone.
I sank onto my furry white rug and spread my wings as I stared up at the ceiling. I dimmed the light from heaven that lit my display cubbies. The loading dock door slammed shut behind Holly. Oh, hail. I covered my eyes with my hands and took a deep breath. But fear buzzed beneath my skin. I was failing again. Failing. Possibly even worse than last year. And I didn’t even know why.
My eyesight smeared. And I realized I was crying again, just like earlier when I’d met the beautiful man with the broken shirt. His face flitted through my mind. He’d had warm brown eyes, and a dimple in his chin that was technically a manufacturing error, but still endearing. I hadn’t learned his name. And now I regretted not asking him to come in and help. Tears dripped down my cheeks. And I let them, as I stared up at the blurry ceiling. “Help,” I whispered. “Please God, help guide me.”
Gunther’s annoying light popped up right above my nose, nearly blinding me. “Help will be here tomorrow. Now get some sleep. And for goodness’ sake, pick up in here before he arrives.”
His light popped out of existence before I could respond. I just rolled over, swiped at my eyes, and fell asleep, hoping everything would be better in the morning.
It wasn’t. It was the same.
Unlike in heaven, where the sunlight magically dusted the clouds with gold and clean robes appeared, pressed and warm and ready for us each morning, Earth did not have such logically functional amenities. Here, last night’s disaster just looked worse in the morning light. The boxes Holly knocked over in her fit were everywhere. Mismatched shoes were scattered all over my floor. I knew my backroom was going to look the same. She toppled at least one rack back there.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Cleaning. A mentor. A rogue miracle target. “My day couldn’t possibly get any worse.”
Amethyst banged on the front door of my store and then peered in the window at me, where I sat on my rug. My best friend was wearing a big fluffy black coat—it must be cold outside—and carrying an orange purse the size of a suitcase.
“Open up!” she yelled. For a little skinny person, she had quite the voice. My old choir master would have loved her. I liked her pretty well myself. Ever since she’d shown up in Silver Springs a month ago, we’d become fast friends.
“Come on! Lemme in! I have a surprise for you!”
I stretched and made my way to the door. I unlocked it and let her in, saying, “I hope it’s a pumpkin spice latte … I love those things!”
“We can definitely grab one of those. But girl—shower first. You smell.” She wrinkled her nose as she looked at me.
I sighed and led her up the stairs to my cramped living quarters over the shoe store. It was a tiny apartment, hardly more than a box, but it was painted white and clean. I could stretch my wings inside and that was all I really needed. Though my bed was hard and the furry rug downstairs was much softer. I told Amethyst everything that had happened with Holly.
Amethyst just shook her head and bit her lip. “Lady, geez. I can’t believe you said that!”
“What do you mean? I was trying to show sympathy.” Was our manual wrong? Was I supposed to show aggression? Ugh! I hated—this word was seriously the best, how had no one said it to me before?—Harmony’s Guide.
“Yeah,” Amethyst snorted. “Well, you definitely didn’t do that. What you said was sarcastic, not sympathetic.” She ran a hand through her hair and sat down at my tiny, two-seater kitchen table. She dumped her purse out on the table and started sorting through the contents.
I took a quick shower, dried my hair with heaven’s warm glow, and got dressed in a pink dress with a few decorative buttons down the front. I tried out a bit of lipstick, since Holly and Amethyst always went on about the stuff. My lips ended up a deep red, which I thought looked a bit ridiculous, like I’d smeared strawberry jam on my mouth, but apparently, looking like you were a sloppy eater was attractive to humans. I slipped on some white velvet starling shoes that rode the line between slipper and flat. I nearly moaned at their softness. These were the best shoes I’d found on earth yet. I blew them a little kiss before I grabbed my purse and wandered back toward Amethyst.
She was looking through my cabinets when I walked into my tiny, white fifties-style kitchen.
“I don’t have food right now or I’d offer you some. I’ve got to go to the bank again and get more money.”
Amethyst did her eye roll thing as she held up a pack of matches she’d found in a kitchen drawer.
I pointed at her. “Why did you roll your eyes? What did I do that was annoying?” I took a step forward, concerned. How was going to the bank annoying? Or was she upset that I didn’t have food? People did get mad about food. Holly showed me a Hangry commercial on her phone once. So, that was a thing. Even I didn’t like being hungry. And I didn’t technically have to eat more than every few days.
Amethyst grabbed a slip of paper from her purse. “You need to start selling shoes, Rub. You can’t just keep letting that poor bank manager give you money.”
“But banks are where people go to get money,” I said.
“People get money that they intend to pay back,” she corrected. “It’s called a loan.”
I started, gripping the back of a wooden chair. My wings flared just a little in surprise. “What!? I have to pay it back?”
Amethyst brushed her hand over her brow. Was that the thinking pose? I tried to recall the guide illustration. People always seemed to do that around me. “Rub, sometimes I wish you’d spent more time in the real world this last year and less time in the graveyard. Then you’d know how things work. I know you’re trying honey, but you’re just … I’m trying to find a nice way to say this. You’re out of touch. You have no common sense. None.”
I sat down in the kitchen chair, disheartened. “Is that why Holly doesn’t like me? Because of common sense?”
“Pretty much. But I might have a solution. Do you trust me?”
“Of course!” Amethyst was even better than Maddie when it came to teaching me about earth and people. Despite what her family thought, she was a really good person. She might be a curse-worker, but really it wasn’t like she had a choice. She was born that way.
“Okay, great.” Amethyst took a little slip of paper and lighter from her pile of purse stuff. She lit the paper on fire and held it in one hand. As it turned to ash, she put her other hand underneath to catch the ashes. She let the paper burn right down to her fingertips. Then she took the ashes and smeared them on my arms, chanting in Latin.
“Hoc animus est, et custodiunt.”
I blinked and looked up at her. “Um, what are you doing?”
She didn’t answer, just finished her chant. My arms started to glow purple. And then suddenly the ashes were absorbed by my skin. "What the twinkly stars have you done?"
Amethyst bit her lip. "I hope that glow goes away. I didn't think about that." She reached forward to stroke my arm but I yanked it back.
"Did you just curse me?"
She wavered her hand in front of her. Shock and fear rolled through me like fog because I knew that gesture from the handbook. It meant kinda. "Are you serious right now? You said we were BEF."
Amethyst tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ears as she smiled apologetically. "It's BFF. And we are. I'm trying to help you."
My face heated up. It felt like everything from my neck up was on fire. I was so angry. I’d felt a lot of things since I'd come to this planet and been given an earthly body. Embarrassment, sadness, loneliness. But anger was a first for me. Angels were typically gifted with extreme calm. We needed to keep a clear head to complete our missions. Anger wasn’t a heavenly emotion. It didn’t come from the good place. It was a billowing inferno with lots and lots of smoke. Right now, my head was anything but angelically clear. My brain boiled. Part of me wanted to boil Amethyst. Preferably alive. All the stars in heaven—did I really just think that? What's wrong with me? Oh goodness. Am I falling? Did she curse me to become a fallen angel?
I took a menacing step toward the witch. But the balance thing got to me. And I tumbled face first to the floor. The smack was so hard I felt it in my bones.
Amethyst rushed over to me and helped pull me up. "Are you okay? That looked like a bad one."
I rubbed my nose, which still smarted something fierce, distracting me from my fury. Amethyst handed over some ice wrapped in a towel and I slapped it onto my aching nose. Ohhh. Ouch. The Mortal Bodies Comission was getting a complaint letter. Why would they make something on the face stick out when falling was such an issue on this planet? Stupid gravity.
I started.
I just cursed in my head. I said a bad word. I’ve never said a bad word. Holy shit—there’s another!
“Rub—” Amethyst patted my back.
I turned to glare at her. It was her fault I was angry, her fault I’d fallen down, her fault I’d just said curse words—I took a deep breath. I had to get a handle on this anger. I closed my eyes and tried some deep breaths, letting the air whoosh in and out of my lungs and calm me. It seemed to work. The anger dimmed from a boil to a simmer, enough for me to open my eyes and look at her. "What did you do to me?"
"You’re having a lot of trouble understanding humans. I thought you could use a little bit of humanity…” Amethyst trailed off in a way that let me know she didn't want to tell me exactly what she had done.
My stomach sank as I grabbed her hand. "Just say it."
"I gave you a little bit of a soul."
I reeled back, just like I had that one time a spearhead had pierced my armor. I felt like Amethyst had dropped me into a molten pit of lava. I plopped down right on the hardwood floor. For once I didn't even notice how uncomfortable it was. A soul? I had a human soul inside me? I stared down at my arms, ran my hands over the tiny hairs there. They stood up and I got goosebumps.
Only demons took in people’s souls.
A pop sounded and Amethyst and I both reeled back.
Gunther’s blazing giant ball of light took up half the room, blinding both of us. “Ruby!!! What have you done?”
“Me! I didn’t do anything!!!” I protested.
“You let a dark witch put a curse on you! You took in part of a human soul! That’s a strike!”
Panic popped in my stomach, like a whole sheet of that bubble wrap stuff compressing at once. This was bad. So bad. Two strikes. My breath started to come out in jagged gasps. I am a two-strike angel. No. No. My lips trembled. “But—”
His ball of light grew into an angry white mass that was so bright I had to close my eyes. Even then, the light pierced my eyelids with an awful bright yellow-green color.
“Wait! Can’t you help me just get it out?” I pleaded. “Just take the soul away!”
“We don’t do that! Taking souls from living beings is what they do!”
Gunther growled. “Get that miracle right, missy. Or you’re looking at your final strike!”
My knees started to shake. And I nodded furiously, until it felt like I was one of those spastic bobble-head dolls people stuck on their windshields. Get it right. Get this miracle right.
“Yes sir,” I whispered.
Gunther disappeared with a loud bang that rang deep inside my eardrums.
Once he was gone, I turned to Amethyst, who was blinking hard and popping her jaw after Gunther’s exit. “Girl, I promise, I’ll help you get through this miracle. We’ll fix this.”
Fear and hope intertwined inside my chest. They wrestled with one another, neither able to win. They just ended up a confusing tangle of feelings. I put my hand over my heart. “Promise?”
She nodded. “But, if I’m gonna solve any celestial problems, I’m gonna need the nectar of the gods first.”
I scrunched my brow. “Lots of people have used that saying. God doesn’t drink nectar though. He likes water.”
Amethyst rolled her eyes. “I meant coffee. Let’s go get coffee.”
She looped her arm through mine, and we went downstairs. I pulled in my wings so other supes couldn’t see them; it was not very polite for me to stand in line and tickle everyone around me I’d learned. We strode past my disastrous showroom, and out onto the sidewalk.
“Are you sure coffee is gonna help you solve my problem?” I asked doubtfully. “I don’t see how a drink can do that.”
Amethyst winked at me. “Then you don’t know enough about coffee. That stuff’s pure magic.”
She was right. Just not the way she expected.
Chapter 4
Parker
"Let the pick-up line contest commence," I said as I checked my reflection in the living room mirror. I made sure the black horns on my forehead were invisible to supes, sometimes those pesky things liked to pop up at inconvenient times. They made it hard to convince the supernatural population to trust our repair shop after I fried their electronics. I waved a hand in front of them, adding a little extra magic to disguise my true form. I pushed back my long brown hair. I constantly debated trimming it, but something happened when I smiled at a woman and nervously pushed back my bangs after I’d zapped her phone. She’d give a little giggle. And that’s how I knew I’d won. So, I kept my hair in a 90’s falling-over-my eyes style. This human body I’d gotten was top-of-the-line. I knew a guy in Possessions. He’d traded for a full soul and gotten me this top-notch model, complete with abs and some pretty rocking biceps. The human who’d had this body before me had apparently been pretty vain. Model wannabe or something who’d traded his soul for an underwear gig. Only he’d been dumb enough to trade away the whole thing, leaving this awesome body ripe for the possessing. A few convos later and the pink slip was mine. As much as Migs might chip at me for my loquacious nature, chatting people up was how I’d managed to exist so long and get where I was. It got me favors. It helped me rise so that I was comfortably invisible in the middle of the pack. Nearly forgotten in the demon world. Nearly free.
I turned to Migs and Barrister as I sat down on a stool in the kitchen at our apartment, just above our shop. I leaned back on the white tile countertop. I had to shove aside one of Migs latest projects. The workaholic in him meant every room in our place was littered with some kind of computer gadget.
Bar smiled back at me and rubbed his hands together. “Hope you have cash on you. Because you’re definitely doing the coffee run this morning. You’re going down.”
I smiled smugly, I had today's nerdiest pick up line competition in the bag. I’d been up trolling the internet last night while I worked on crashing those servers down in New York City. After Bar and I had come up with a plan to get Migs good and distracted so we could hunt down that witch today and get back part of his soul, I hadn’t been able to sleep. I had found at least two zingers.
Migs rolled his eyes and yawned. He went first, like he always did. The practical one, he wasn’t as competitive as Bar and me about bragging rights. When he won, he didn’t even put his line on the whiteboard in the backroom of the shop. Bar and I never missed the chance to remind one another that we’d won. Migs shoved his hair back and adjusted his red plaid shirtsleeves, rolling them up and wiggling his fingers as he grinned. “Do you have eleven protons? Because you’re sodium fine!”
Dammit! That was one of the ones I’d screenshotted. Shit. That’d teach me to look up pick-up lines instead of making up my own like Bar typically did.
I turned to my other competitor. Bar lounged against the wooden dining table, twirling a penlight between his fingers as he waited his turn. When he saw me look at him, he gave a naughty wink, the kind that had drawn me to him in the first place. Bar walked more on the edge of light and dark than Migs. He occasionally dipped his toe into the naughty pool. But overall, he was still a good person. Part of me wanted to change that. Part of me wanted to pull him down and keep him with me forever. But humans didn't fare as well in hell as demons. And so, the better part of me, the piece that housed a bit of his soul, didn’t want that fate for him.
“Dude—what the fuck? Do I have egg in my teeth or something? Why are you staring?” Bar reached up and ran a finger over his teeth.
“You’re just too damn pretty.” I winked.
Migs chuckled as Bar chucked the penlight at me. I caught it.
“If that was your line, it sucked,” Bar said.
“It wasn’t. It’s your turn. But you better hurry before I get a hard on from staring at you.”
Both guys groaned. They weren’t as sexually fluid as I was, though from the outside, their close friendship often made people wonder.
Bar grinned as he said, “Baby, I wanna play master/slave with all your devices.”
FUCK NO! He’d stolen my second line. How the fuck— “Cheaters!” I grabbed my phone from my pocket and chucked it at Migs. I had no doubt he was the one who’d hacked it. Bar and I had been up late, and the dude had crashed hard when we got home, I’d heard him snoring.
