Concrete Rose, page 20
“Who you telling?” I fold my arms on top of my lap. “He threatened to jump me if I kept pushing the issue. Said I was making him look stupid.”
“He looked in a mirror lately? Stupid written on his forehead.”
I smirk. “Don’t you know? P-Nut full of intelligisms that have preparized him for the situonalization at hand.”
Me and King crack up. It feel good to laugh with him again.
“You know what this mean, right?” he says, after a minute.
That’s one reason I couldn’t sleep last night.
I stare ahead at the floor, and I can almost see Dre. I’ll never forget holding him in the middle of the street as blood leaked outta his body. It’s tatted on my brain for life.
If Red did that to him, I swear on everything I love he ain’t got much time left.
I look at King. “I gotta kill that nigga.”
CHAPTER 23
Seven don’t care ’bout Red or that I can’t graduate. He giving me hell tonight.
I wipe his face for the fifty-leventh time. I’m tryna feed him this jar of pureed peas and carrots with a li’l applesauce mixed in like Mrs. Wyatt taught me. This boy here … he shake his head to dodge the spoon with his lips shut tight. When I do sneak some in his mouth, he spit it right out. There’s splatters of green and orange mush everywhere.
“C’mon, man,” I groan. “I know peas and carrots not the best, but give me a break, a’ight? Dada had a rough day.”
“Da-da-da-da-da!” he repeat. He first said it on Christmas. Best gift I ever got, for real.
As he saying “Da-da,” I put a spoonful of food in his mouth.
This boy look right at me, and I swear to God he spit it dead in my face.
Don’t let the cuteness fool you. Babies straight-up thugs. They don’t give a damn what you going through.
I grab a paper towel and wipe off the mush. “Stop spitting your food out.”
Seven blow raspberries, sending spit flying in my face, too.
I rest my forehead on his high chair. I give up. He too stubborn and smart for his own good. Yesterday I gave him pancakes for breakfast, and he wouldn’t let this one li’l piece go for nothing. Acted a fool when I tried to take it from him. I was like forget it and took him to Mrs. Wyatt’s, gripping that pancake.
Ma think he sense that another baby coming and acting out. I don’t know, but this need to quit for real. I’m dealing with enough tonight. For one, I gotta tell Ma I can’t graduate. She might kill me, which would stop me from handling the other thing on my plate – Red.
King said he’ll get me a gun. This should be easy-peasy once I have my piece. Yet my stomach knot up every time I think ’bout shooting Red.
Seven pat the top of my head. “Da-da-da-da-da!”
I look at him, and my lips turn up. “You tryna cheer me up, man?”
He stick his hand in the baby food and hold it toward me.
“Ahhh,” I say as I open my mouth wide. I let him feed me the baby food, then I act like I’m gon’ eat his hand. He pull away, giggling.
That sound always get a smile outta me. “You know what, man?” I say to him. “I get why you spit it out. That baby food nasty. Let me see what Daddy can give you instead.”
I get his favorite – rice cereal. It look like mush and it’s not really a dinner food, but ay, cut me some slack. I had a day. Seven buck in his high chair as I bring it over.
“Aww, snap,” I say, doing a li’l dance. “We got rice cereal, ay! Rice cereal, ay! Daddy coming through with the save!”
He open his mouth wide for every spoonful. That full belly later put him right to sleep. Thank God for rice cereal.
Now I wait for Ma to get home. She don’t get off from her second job till around ten-thirty. I pace the kitchen. I sit down. I get back up. I peek in on Seven. I turn on the TV. I turn it off. I don’t know what I can tell Ma to make this better. I can’t graduate, the one thing she always wanted from me. Ain’t no “better.”
She can’t ever find out that I’m going after Red. I’m more afraid of her than the cops.
I sit at the kitchen table and rub my temples. Red really going around wearing Dre’s watch. That piss me off so much. Whether he killed Dre or not, it’s disrespectful as hell. He gotta know it’s Dre’s. He gotta! He wasn’t nervous for nothing.
I should’ve said something to his ass. Better yet, I should’ve snatched it off his wrist, then popped a bullet in him.
Let me stop, I’m getting ahead of myself. I need proof that he did it. Otherwise, I’d be killing Brenda’s boyfriend and Khalil’s daddy for nothing. Bet Red didn’t think ’bout Keisha and Andreanna though.
Wait a minute. Keisha was on the phone with Dre that night. She might’ve heard something that could help me out. It’s a long-ass shot unless she flat-out say it was Red, but I owe it to Dre.
I can talk to her this weekend. Keisha helped me set up Lisa’s surprise tour of Markham, and she meeting us for lunch afterward. The timing kinda perfect.
Headlights flash through the kitchen windows. A minute later, the front door groan open. Ma never announce it’s her in case I’m asleep. Her purse thud as she toss it onto the living room sofa, and her feet thump toward the kitchen.
“Hey, baby.” She kiss my temple. “You didn’t have to stay up and wait for me.”
“I wanted to. How was work?”
Ma roll up her sleeves and open the refrigerator. “Things were pretty quiet at both jobs. How was your day? You were supposed to talk to Mr. Clayton, right?”
My mouth dry all of a sudden. Three words – “I can’t graduate” – that’s all I gotta say. But they stuck in the back of my throat.
I swallow them down even more. “It was fine. He told me what I need to do in order to graduate.” That’s sorta true.
Ma take out a container of food and sniff it. Her nose scrunch up. “Whew, Lord. Gotta throw that out. Glad it went well. You do whatever he said to do, Maverick. I have faith in you.”
I really ain’t shit compared to what she think. “Yes, ma’am.”
Ma take out a container of leftover spaghetti. “Before I forget, did you see the light bill in the mail? I need to pay it in the morning.”
“I already took care of it and the water bill.”
Ma look up from sniffing the spaghetti. “You did?”
“Yes, ma’am. I went to the bill-pay place earlier and paid them both.”
“Okay, Mr. Man,” she says, all impressed. “You’re spoiling me, helping me with these bills. Thank God for Mr. Wyatt and that job. How was my Seven tonight?”
“Fine. He put me through it.”
Ma chuckles. “That’s his job. You earned it for all that you put me and Adonis through.”
I push away from the table. “I only stayed up to say good night. I’m gon’ head to bed.”
“Hold on,” Ma says, closing the refrigerator door. “I need to talk to you.”
Her tone make me do a double take. “You okay, Ma?”
She pull out the chair next to me and sit. “Yeah. It’s nothing bad. Only long overdue.”
I sit back down. “Oh. What’s up, then?”
Ma’s fingers fumble with one another, then they drum the table, then they fumble again.
“I…” She snap her lips shut. Her eyes, too. She take a deep breath. “I have a date on Sunday.”
Valentine’s Day is Sunday. “Oh. You seeing some dude behind Pops’s back?”
I ain’t mean to put it like that, but Ma and Pops are married. How else could I put it?
“No, actually. I’m not going behind his back,” Ma says. “Adonis knows. And it’s not a man. It’s Moe, Maverick.”
It take me a second. A lot of seconds, to be honest. Shit, I’m still stuck. “Moe?”
“Yes. Moe and I have been in a relationship for a few years.”
Relationship? “I thought y’all were just friends.”
“We – I thought it was best to appear that way,” she says. “Not everyone can be so accepting. Lord knows your grandmother isn’t.”
“Granny know?”
Ma sigh again, scratching through her hair. “She suspected. She’s always thought I was ‘funny,’ as she calls it. Your aunt ’Nita knows, and like I said, your father knows.”
“That’s why he don’t want you hanging with Moe?” I ask.
“Right.”
The kitchen get real quiet.
I got a million thoughts in my head. Hard to pin down one. “You always been like this?”
“Have you always liked girls?”
“Yeah.”
“Then you’ve got your answer,” Ma says.
“Do Pops know?”
“Yes, I told your father early on in our relationship that I was bisexual. He accepted it.”
“Oh.”
Lisa said I needed to pay attention. I guess she figured it out way before me. Now that I really think on it, Ma and Moe do go out a lot, and Ma always happier after she been with Moe. Her face light up when that woman come around. At Dre’s repast, Moe held Ma’s hand whenever they were close, and I thought it was just for support.
It was in my face the whole time.
I look at Ma. “Do you love her?”
Ma’s eyes get that sparkle I’ve seen before. “I do. In fact, we’ve discussed her possibly moving in one day. Not without me talking to you first, of course, but yeah. It’s come up.”
“Oh.” They serious then. “Do you love Pops?”
“I do,” she says. “I’ll always love Adonis, and I’ll always be there for him. I also have to love myself. All of that ‘ride or die’ stuff, it’s nice until you feel like you’re dying from not living. Adonis made choices that put his life at a standstill. He didn’t have to sell drugs; he chose to. I shouldn’t have to put my life on hold because of his decisions.”
I shift in my seat, thinking of my own decisions.
Ma look up at the ceiling, blinking real fast. “I’ve wanted to tell you for years. But I – I wasn’t sure you’d—”
The crack in her voice do me in. I hop up and hug her in her chair. “Ma, it’s okay.”
She wrap her arms around me just as tight. It’s almost like I’m holding a sobbing little girl. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“You ain’t gotta apologize. Are you happy?”
“I am,” she says. “Happiest I’ve been in a long time.”
I kiss her hair. “That’s all I care ’bout. Promise.”
I don’t know how long we stay like this. I’ll hold Ma long as she need me to.
But there’s a twinge in my chest for Pops. I hadn’t thought that his life was at a “standstill” until Ma said it was. He went away almost a decade ago. I was a scrawny eight-year-old. Now I’m almost grown with two kids. We out here living our lives while he stuck in prison, hoping we’ll visit.
Or at least talk to him when he call.
I did him real wrong.
Ma pull away, wiping her eyes. “You smell like baby food.”
I crack a smile. “Blame your grandson. He spit his dinner in my face.” I kiss her forehead. “I’ll heat you up some food.”
I go to the cabinet and grab a plate. I’m happy that Ma happy. For real, I am. Considering all the stuff she put up with from me and Pops, she deserve it more than anybody.
She should also have her moment without me breaking her heart.
CHAPTER 24
I lie to Ma for the rest of the week. She think I go to school every day. Really, I drop Seven off with Mrs. Wyatt, and I watch Red from afar.
I know his schedule like I know my name. He start his mornings at his spot in the Cedar Lane parking lot. Around noon, he get lunch from somewhere around the neighborhood, then head to Rose Park to set up shop. I pick up Lisa and go to work. By the time I get off, he packing up his things in the park.
I’m almost addicted to watching that fool, like I’m scared he’ll disappear before I get my chance. I hate that I won’t be able to keep an eye on him today. I’m taking Lisa on her surprise tour of the Markham campus. It’s a two-hour drive one way. Ma letting me use her car, but not without a lecture first.
“Bring my tank back on full. I’m not playing, Maverick,” she says. “Put premium gas in it. I don’t want that regular shit – stuff. Got me cussing in front of the baby.”
I smirk as I pack snacks at the kitchen table. Seven drink his morning bottle in his high chair. I took today off from work, and Ma agreed to watch him for me. I’ll have him all day tomorrow while she spend Valentine’s with Moe.
“While we’re on the subject of gas, do you need money for it?” Ma asks.
“No, ma’am.” I haven’t needed money from her since I started slinging. That’s life-changing damn near.
“Okay, good. Wear your seat belt at all times and use the signal lights when you switch lanes. The left lane is for passing, the right is for slower traffic. Stay in the right as much as possible, and don’t go over the speed limit.”
I look at her. “Says the part-time NASCAR driver.”
“Who isn’t a Black boy, driving down the highway,” she says. “Don’t give the police a reason to pull you over. If they do—”
“Keep my hands visible, don’t make no sudden moves, and only speak when they speak to me.” I know the talk by heart. Ma and Pops drilled it into my head since I was seven.
“Exactly,” Ma says. She watch me pack snacks. “Are you okay, baby?”
“Yeah. Why you ask?”
“Lately … I don’t know. It seems like you have a heavy heart, beyond the normal stuff.”
“My life not normal, Ma.”
“You know what I mean,” she says. She run her fingers through my hair. “Is something going on?”
Red headed to Cedar Lane by now … with Dre’s watch on his wrist. “No, ma’am. I’m fine.”
“All right. Well, it’ll probably do you good to be out of the neighborhood for the day. I think you’ll really enjoy Markham. It could be your home one day.”
“You still think I can go to college?”
Ma cup my cheek. “I think you can do whatever you put your mind to.”
It’s hard to look her in the eye. The son I am is nothing like the son she think she got.
Ma hand me a piece of paper. “These are directions to Markham from that MapQuest site. I printed them off at work. It has gas stations marked. Lisa may need a couple of restroom stops. Don’t let her go in alone, and don’t you go in with your hands in your pockets. You know what? I should just take y’all myself.”
“Ma, chill. Why you tripping?”
“You’re a parent, you’ll understand soon enough. Wait until Seven starts walking and you realize everything he can get into.”
A’ight, yeah, that is a scary thought. I look at him and point. “Ay, don’t be walking no time soon.”
Seven chuck his bottle my way.
What the— “Boy, stop talking back.”
Ma laugh and pick him up. “You tell him, baby. Daddy don’t know what he’s in for. You’re gonna do him the same way he did me and his daddy.”
Funny she bring up Pops. “Ay, Ma, can I ask you something?”
“My chunka-chunka-chunk,” she says to Seven as she move his arms with the words. He laugh and laugh. I don’t know what “chunka” mean. Half the stuff people say to babies don’t make sense. “My chunka-chunka-chunk! What, Maverick?”
“If I do good on this trip, can I take the car to go see Pops one day?”
She look at me. “By yourself?”
“Yes, ma’am. I figured I should see him in person since we ain’t really talked lately.”
That stuff she said ’bout his life being at a standstill kinda stuck with me. After a day or two, I realized I oughta be a man and go see him.
Ma smiles. “He’d like that. I’ll work on setting up a visit.”
“Cool, cool,” I say, but I’m already nervous.
She kiss my cheek. “Y’all will be fine. Now, back to my car—”
Around eight o’clock, I back outta the driveway.
The sun shine bright in clear-blue skies. Perfect weather for a road trip. It’s kinda cold today, but I got the heat on and brought a blanket in case Lisa need it.
I make a detour first, just to see if Red ain’t left town again. No, he at his usual morning spot at Cedar Lane. King supposed to hit me up on my pager today once he get me a gun. He asked if I wanted a certain type of piece. Long as it take out Red, it’s fine by me.
I got a strong feeling that whatever Keisha say today gon’ confirm it was him.
I honk my horn in front of Ms. Rosalie’s house. Lisa come outside, yawning in a hair bonnet and slippers with jeans and a sweatshirt. Girl look barely dressed.
I get out to help her with her backpack and Hello Kitty blanket. “You just rolled outta bed, huh?”
“Shut up. Your baby kept me up all night. Here.” Lisa place my hand on her sweatshirt. Her stomach quiver, as if something rolling around under there.
My eyes get big. “Oh, dang.”
“I know, right? It was fascinating at first. After the third hour, I just wanted to sleep.”
I kneel in front of her. Some days Seven and the li’l baby in Lisa’s belly be the only things to make me smile. I tap Lisa’s stomach. “Ay, this your daddy. Chill in there, your mommy dealing with enough.”
Lisa snort. “I doubt that’ll work. She’s as stubborn as you.”
“Well, he ain’t mean to keep you awake.” I straighten up. “He know we got a busy schedule today.”
“I want extra sauce on my rib plate when I win this bet. Will you finally tell me where we’re going?”
I open the passenger door. “You gotta come and see, madam.”
Lisa tilt her head. “How do I know you’re not kidnapping me?”
“You think I wanna be stuck with you?”
Her mouth drop, and she punch my arm.
“I’m playing, I’m playing!” I laugh. “It’s a surprise, a’ight? You gotta trust me.”
Lisa study me hard. “Fine,” she eventually huffs, and hop in the car.
I close the door behind her. “Violent ass.”
