View Park, page 29
Janet believed every word he said, but that didn’t matter. “Except when that woman is Haley. You can’t take care of her. Look around this house, Sean. Haley has had this all her life. She doesn’t appreciate it as a blessing.”
“I wouldn’t blame her for that.” Sean didn’t bother mentioning who he would blame.
“If you think it’s because we spoiled her, you’re wrong. Haley was raised the same way all of my children were. She is the person she is because it’s who she’s meant to be. She was this way from the day she was born.”
“I think this experience has changed her somewhat.” Think being the operative word for Sean.
“Trust me, it hasn’t. Add to that, a father who feels guilty for never being home so he gives her everything she wants. You’re a proud man, Sean. I know you won’t be able to deal with that.”
“You don’t know me as well as you think you do,” he said. “I’ll deal with what I have to in order to make Haley happy.”
“I believe you.” Janet felt a sort of pity for him. “You’re a good man. It took me a while to understand that, but I do now. You love Haley because you have no choice. You couldn’t do anything but love her.”
Sean didn’t want to respond to that, because he knew the shoe was about to drop. In retrospect, he didn’t see how this could have come out any other way.
“The problem is,” she continued, “you’re already thinking of what she needs to change about herself.” Janet waited for her words to sink in and appreciated that Sean tried to hide their effect as much as possible. “You don’t have to hide it. Haley is…let’s just call her one of a kind.”
“You underestimate her.” Sean was feeling increasingly uncomfortable.
“On the contrary,” Janet said. “I’ve never underestimated my child, but you have. You want Haley to be nurturing, caring, and supportive. You believe with time and love she can be that person, but she can’t. The problem I have is that because she believes she loves you, she—”
“Believes she loves me?” Sean wasn’t able to hide his anger now. “Are you suggesting that she doesn’t?”
“She could. I mean, there’s a first time for everything. I personally believe she thinks you’re her hero and as soon as this whole situation wears down, it will fade.”
“I need to get going.” Sean headed for the door. “It was nice talking to—”
“Wait.” Janet approached him, holding the door. “I’m not trying to hurt you, Sean. Let’s say she really does love you. The problem is, because of that she’ll try to change. She’ll try to be something she’s not and it won’t work because it just…it just can’t.”
Sean pressed his lips together to keep from cursing this woman out. “Good-bye, Janet.”
Janet grabbed him by the arm, turning him to her. “This is the point you have to understand. Because it won’t work, you won’t be happy and my daughter will begin to feel like she’s not good enough.”
Sean let her pull him closer to her, her eyes compelling his to stay locked.
“That,” she said, “is something I will never, ever let any of my children feel.”
Without a word, Sean jerked his arm out of her grasp and turned away from her. Heading for his car he tried everything to calm his temper, but it was no good. No matter how early he got up in the morning, he was never going to be one step ahead of Janet. That was because she knew Haley better than he ever could and every word she’d said was right.
After staring into his refrigerator for ten minutes, Carter grabbed a bottle of beer. He wasn’t hungry for the various takeout leftovers. He wasn’t hungry for anything right now. He was anxious and uptight about what he had done to Avery and what he was supposed to do next. He needed to prep for that meeting, but his mind was scattered since yesterday, when Lisette called him and told him Avery had gotten the pictures.
Carter wanted to reach out to Avery, but he couldn’t let on that he knew anything about this because Alex was already accusing him. When Carter arrived at work earlier that day, he was met with an angry, threatening message from Alex. He knew he had to play this right and that wasn’t going to happen if he held onto any of the guilt that had been following him all week.
In the living room, he grabbed the remote and flicked away at the channels on his sixty-inch flat screen television. He settled on a Lakers game, but just as he sat down on the sofa, the doorbell rang.
He leaned against the door. “Who is it?”
“Carter?” The voice came like a whimpering child.
When he opened the door, Carter felt air escape him at the sight of her. Avery’s eyes were bloodshot and she looked like she hadn’t slept for days. It hit him that this was entirely his fault, but his survival mechanisms kicked in and he looked at her as if he couldn’t be more surprised.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, trying not to reach out to hold her.
“Can I come in?” Avery felt cold all over. Her legs hurt from walking for two hours. “I need to talk to you.”
“What’s the matter?” he asked, stepping aside.
“You trying to tell me you don’t know?”
Carter kept his game face. “I’m sorry, Avery. I just didn’t think it was any of my business.”
“Whatever.” Avery tossed her purse on the floor as she sauntered unsteadily over to the living room sofa. “What are we watching tonight?”
Carter stood above her. “How much have you had to drink?”
“I lost count.” Avery reached for the remote, but Carter grabbed it out of her hand. “I don’t think you want to piss me off, Carter. I’m inclined to cut off the balls of every man I see at this point.”
“Did he really do it?” Carter asked, sitting next to her.
Avery looked at him, wondering if he was playing with her. She couldn’t tell and right now, she didn’t care. “What do you think?”
“All I know is I come to work this morning and he’s leaving me threatening messages. Saying he knows I’m the one who did it.”
“Oh, no.” Avery laughed. “Don’t worry about that. He’s the one who did it, but he did mention that it was your fault. Then he mentioned it was mine.”
“Yours?”
“I’d rather not go over it.” She lay back on the sofa, hugging a pillow to her chest.
It was the best acting job Avery had ever seen. First he denied it, blaming Carter for putting thoughts in her head. When she showed him the pictures, he blamed Carter again and suggested that it might have even been her mother since she never liked Alex. When Avery threatened to leave, he finally admitted to sleeping with the woman but promised it was a one-night stand and continued to claim victim to being set up. He denied an affair, a relationship of any kind. Avery was at her sanity’s end when he came out with the kicker.
Maybe he did cheat, but it wasn’t his fault. It was Avery’s fault for being so cold to him and playing him against Carter. That was when she pretty much wrecked his entire place, breaking everything she could find, knocking over his prize television and throwing as many of his sales awards out the window of this twelfth floor apartment before he pushed her away.
“So you don’t believe I had anything to do with it?” Carter asked.
“I would,” she said, “but for a couple of things. First, I have pictures so I know he did it. Second, he admitted to it. Third, I know you would never do something like that.”
Carter swallowed hard. “You do?”
She tried to smile, but it wasn’t in her. “Maybe a few months ago, I would have thought you’d do it, but not anymore. It’s not you.”
“You think you know me so well?” Carter heard the voices in his head telling him to shut the hell up, but he couldn’t.
“I think I do.” Avery tossed the pillow aside, sliding next to him. “You try to act like this cold, slick player like when I first met you, but you’re not. You’ve shown me that you care and you went above and beyond with the payment for Essentials, and—”
“Stop, Avery.” Carter didn’t want to hear anymore. “I did all of that for my own interest.”
“I’m not buying it.” She placed her hand gently on his chest, looking into his eyes.
“Why did you come here?” Carter backed away from her a bit.
“I don’t know,” she answered, feeling desire creep through her, making her skin tingle all over. “I’ve been in a haze these past few days. Drinking and walking for hours. Why, don’t you want me here?”
“You’re drunk.” He stood up, heading for his phone. “I’ll call you a cab.”
“I couldn’t stay away from you.” She was finally able to find a smile as he turned back to her. “So maybe it was my fault.”
Carter hated himself. “You don’t think that, Avery. You’re angry, hurt, and drunk. Alex never deserved you.”
“And you did?” Avery stood up, approaching him. She looked into his eyes searching for some give but he was so guarded right now. “That’s what you thought all along, right?”
“I don’t deserve you either.” He’d never said anything so true.
She grabbed the bottom of his sweatshirt, pulling him to her and sliding her hands up his bare chest. She felt his hard, flat stomach contract and it made her feel powerful. He grabbed her hands stopping them halfway.
“You don’t think you deserve me?” she asked. “But you can have me, Carter. You knew all along that you could. I knew all along that you could and I fought you because I thought I had something with Alex.”
Carter moved her hands away, stepping back. His mind was losing the battle with his body. He felt like an ass already, so why not just be a man and take what was offered to him?
Avery laughed at his useless attempt to resist her. He didn’t understand. She didn’t care about anything anymore. She had been such a fool to feel guilty and to think she could fix everything and for what? She kept her eyes on him, biting her lower lip as she savored the anticipation of finally getting what she had been denying herself for too long.
When Avery’s hands went to the edges of her blouse, Carter knew what was coming and when she flipped it over her head, the voices lowered to a whisper. He was listening to something else now.
“Avery, I know you feel bad, but I’m not going to…”
She reached behind her back, unsnapping the clasp of her bra. “Take advantage of me?”
When her bra fell to the floor, revealing her full breasts, Carter could only shake his head. This wasn’t going to go as he planned. His hands went to her waist by instinct. Her skin was so damn soft, Carter couldn’t resist pressing her flesh with his fingers. When he did, she closed her eyes and slid her hands up his arms.
“I’ve wanted you,” she confessed, “since that night at the restaurant. Do you remember?”
“The red dress.” It was emblazoned on his mind the way her fingers traced the edges of the wineglass.
“The way you looked at me.” Avery wrapped her fingers gently around his neck as his hands slid down the small of her back and reached into her pants. “You made me feel naked and I hated you because I liked it.”
Carter leaned down and kissed her passionately on the lips, his entire body hitting a lava flow. Yes, he heard a whisper telling him, this is what made it all worth it. He knew he would have to pay the devil in some way for what he’d done, but he couldn’t think about that now.
Their clothes were off in a second, and he was consumed by her naked body, her silky skin, and the erotic sounds she made when he put his mouth on her. He made love to her trying to be gentle and slow despite his body wanting to be urgent and forceful.
Forgetting about Alex and everything else, Avery escaped in the pleasure of letting this man take her in a much rougher way the second time. She felt lost in the best sex she had ever had and began to remember what feeling good meant and the power of a man’s strong arms around her. When he rubbed her thighs and she opened her legs for him a third time, she was firm in her belief that this was what was meant to happen, so she would be grateful.
“This is it.” Sean stepped aside, letting Haley enter his apartment for the first time.
He could tell from the look on her face it was all that she expected; unfortunately. He was twisted inside wondering what he should do. It had almost become painful being with her these past few days as Janet’s words rang in his ears constantly. Since then, Haley had done nothing to reassure him that her mother was wrong, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that he loved her.
Haley looked around, not too interested in seeing any more than what was right in front of her. None of this was making it into their condo. “When are we going out to dinner?”
“You said you had something to show me.”
She gave him a sideways smile, reaching into the pocket of her two thousand dollar leather jacket. “You’re going to love me for this.”
He wanted to say he already loved her, but it couldn’t come out. Not that it wasn’t true. He just wasn’t sure why it was true and he wasn’t at all sure it even mattered. Not in the long run at least.
Haley handed him the piece of paper and waited eagerly. “It’s just the cover page. The actual lease is about five thousand pages.”
Sean saw the stationery on top. Reagan Properties. As he read on, he couldn’t even think of what to say. The condo was set at five hundred thousand dollars. He looked up at Haley with his mouth open and his temper flaring.
“How could you do this?” He crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it across the room. “I told you not to do this.”
“You never told me anything and even if you had, I don’t take orders from you.” Haley retrieved the paper. “Look at what you’ve done. This is our official copy.”
“Undo it now,” he ordered. “Let’s go to wherever we need to go now and undo this.”
“It’s done. My father took care of it today and I would expect some appreciation.”
He threw his hands in the air. “I told you I can’t afford this! You need to understand something if this relationship is going to work.”
“Excuse me?” Haley’s hands went to her hips.
“You have to take me seriously, Haley. I’m not kidding when I tell you that your lifestyle is going to change with me.”
“Who do you think you are?” she asked. He needed to understand that her lifestyle was going to be whatever she wanted it to be. “I’m moving out of a mansion, remember? With a maid and a pool. If that’s not change, I don’t know what is.”
She was right. Even what was out of the question for him was a huge step down for her. “I just can’t afford it and I’m not letting your dad pay my mortgage.”
“You can afford it, Sean.” She went to him, wrapping her arms around him. She was forgiving him for his outburst and he better appreciate that. “That’s the rest of my surprise.”
“I don’t think I want to hear any more.”
“Daddy is gonna give you the chief of security job at Chase Beauty.”
Sean backed away from her, wishing he’d heard her wrong. How many times had he wished that since he met this woman? “You’ve gone too far now.”
“He has to get rid of the current chief of security,” she said, “but it pays six figures and with Daddy paying my half of the mortgage, you can afford the other half.”
Sean began pacing the floor, shaking his head. He began to laugh even though he found this anything but funny. He was enraged when he turned to her. “Who do you think you fell in love with, Haley?”
Haley pressed her lips together hoping to prevent saying what she wanted to. She hated when people asked her stupid questions trying to make her say what they wanted to say themselves. She just had to remember that she loved him and hope that was enough, because patience was never her strong point.
“I’m a detective,” Sean said. “It’s in my blood and it’s always going to be. I can tell you with my hand to God that I will never, ever be anything else.”
“There’s no money in that,” Haley stated. “I’m just trying to help you. You can’t get by in life making sixty grand.”
It was forty-five actually, but that wasn’t the point. “I’ve been doing it just fine so far.”
“Well, things are different now. You’re with me and if you’re going to be with me, it’s not fine.” She couldn’t believe he was so against bettering himself. She was going to be the best thing that ever happened to him and it was like he was fighting it.
Sean sighed, lowering his head. His mind was pulling a blank when he searched for something to fix this. “It’s going to have to be, Haley. If you’re going to be with me, it’s going to have to be.”
Haley huffed, wishing she could slap him back to reality. She loved him but the world would end before she revolved her life around anyone but herself. “Do you have any idea of what I’ve done to accommodate this archaic need you have to define your manhood through denying me?”
“I can’t believe what you just said.” If he could even understand it.
“I thought of everything you’ve said to me. I wanted the same condo Carter has, but I knew that was too expensive, so I asked Daddy to get the smallest one they had instead.”
Was she joking with him? Sean couldn’t be sure. She certainly looked serious, but the words out of her mouth seemed more like a comedy sketch.
“Then to appease you further,” she continued, “even though Daddy wanted to buy the place, I told him to only pay the down payment because I knew you wanted to pay your own mortgage.”
Sean heard Janet’s words swirling around him and everything Haley was saying made perfect, painful sense.
“Not to mention,” she went on, “this job. He wanted to give you just any job on his security force, but I told him you were too good for that. That he had to give you the top job because I knew you wouldn’t be happy unless the challenge was great. I was only thinking of you.”
“I believe you,” he said, “but it’s not enough.”
She meant every word she said and it cut through his gut to realize that these sacrifices were more than Haley had ever done for anyone in her entire life and they didn’t even come close to what he needed from her. She was trying to make him happy and getting nowhere. She would try harder and that angry, tortured look on her face right now would turn inward. Sean wished he was a better man and could tell her the truth, but he couldn’t. He did love her and he hoped there was some way that would fade with time. Everything did, didn’t it?
