The Tory's Daughter, page 17
“That’s my hope.” For Hannah’s sake.
“You might have to travel as far as New York to find him, though.”
“Isn’t the city still held by the British?”
“Yes. But from what I hear, General Washington’s been eying it up for a large offensive with the French. Personally, I’d like to see them go south. The British are pulling most of their troops into Virginia.”
After so long focusing on their little corner of the war, it was hard to grasp the full magnitude of the fight.
“And Joseph, about Fannie.” Sorrow showed in Daniel’s dark eyes. “I was real pleased when Mama wrote that you two had married. You have always been a true friend, despite my faults. Despite all the trouble I caused. What I am trying to say is I have no doubts that you were a good husband to my sister. But I hope that you find happiness with Hannah, as well. You deserve it.”
Joseph cleared the sudden thickness from his throat. “Thank you, Daniel.” He lowered his voice. “Though I must admit I expected it to bother you more that her Pa was a Loyalist?”
Daniel chuckled and glanced at the stairs. “Lydia’s father and I would not have agreed upon politics either, and that’s not even the half of it. But, as I said, that makes for a long story, and I should get back to my wife before she wonders what became of me and the water she requested.” He grinned. “I shall see you in the morning.”
Joseph nodded and watched him go. He pushed to his feet. He needed sleep before they renewed their search, and he wouldn’t get any down here.
A lamp lit the room, revealing Hannah in the bed, sitting, blankets drawn up, shoulders bare except for the hair that spilled over her smooth skin. The image was enough to make his knees weak, and he dropped into a chair to pull off his boots.
“I thought you’d be asleep.”
“Thought? Or hoped?”
He wouldn’t answer. If she was asleep, he might have stolen a part of the bed and been comfortable through the night. But with her sitting there with her solemn gaze, he’d be better off on the floor. Joseph moved to the bed and took one of the pillows.
“Don’t sleep on the floor again.” She spoke so softly Joseph almost didn’t hear her.
He took up a quilt as well. “I don’t mind.” Though he definitely wasn’t looking forward to it.
“Do not lie. What sane man would want to sleep on a hard floor when he had a soft bed two feet away? One he paid good money for.”
Joseph couldn’t argue with that. He dropped the pillow back beside her and pulled his shirt over his head. Trying not to look at her, he laid in bed, faced up. His pulse sped at her closeness as she lowered beside him and touched his arm.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“You already apologized. It’s forgiven.”
“Then why won’t you look at me?”
He turned on his side. And swallowed hard. The low light was soft across the gentle contours of her face, and he ached to trace them with his fingers. Or his lips. Her lips had a slight purse to them, but he couldn’t read her expression.
“What do you want?” Her voice wavered. Her gaze never left his.
Joseph didn’t dare voice what he wanted right now. Didn’t know how to put it into words. But she was close enough…
He pressed his mouth to hers. A brief kiss. Nothing more. But she touched his face, and then slid her fingers through his hair to the back of his scalp. Her lips made a slow reply, drawing desire through him. He wrapped his arm over her and sidled her closer. Was this her answer? Did she want him, too?
Their kiss continued and his need for her grew. To hold her. To have her.
His wife.
She stiffened.
Joseph didn’t have to see her fear to recognize it. He released her and dropped onto his back. “I’m sorry.”
For a moment he could only hear Hannah’s breathing. She sighed. “Why? What are you sorry for?”
“I’m frightening you.” He looked over to see her gaze steady on him.
Hannah pushed up on her elbow. “Is that…is that why you left the last time you kissed me?”
He nodded.
“Only a little.” Her mouth softened. Almost a smile.
Joseph couldn’t resist touching her face. He laid her down and gave her a single kiss. Then, he slid his arm under her—his shoulder would act as a pillow. With her head tucked against his and her hand resting on his chest, Joseph closed his eyes and relaxed into the bed. This was all he needed right now. To hold her and let the emptiness in his soul be filled.
~*~
Hannah leaned against the doorframe and tapped out a rhythm on the scarred wood. Why had she not insisted on accompanying them? As much as Daniel’s presence made her nervous, Joseph was right that he had the contacts with the Continental Army that they needed. If only there was something she could do while she waited.
“Pardon me, I am afraid our husbands failed to introduce us yesterday.”
Hannah turned. The woman she’d seen only briefly stood behind her. “You’re married to Daniel Reid?” Hannah never would have imagined such a lady with a man like Daniel—who had so many rough edges.
“I am. Lydia Reid.” She smiled, but something else lingered behind her blue-green eyes. “Did you know him well? Mr. Reid, I mean.”
“Well enough.” As well as she had wanted to at the time. “But my family left the valley at the beginning of the war.”
“I can understand that.”
“Why, because my father was a Tory?” Hannah folded her arms and looked back at the street. Where were those men?
“Do not think I mean to judge or criticize your family. Such would make me a true hypocrite.”
Hannah glanced back. “You were a Loyalist? Or your family?”
Lydia gave a subtle nod. “And perhaps I still do not understand the drive behind men like Daniel—”
“And Joseph.”
“To give up anything and everything for this country and their freedom.” She smiled again. “Our freedom. But I will no longer stand in the way of something wanted so dearly.” Her hand smoothed over the slight swell of her stomach. “Perhaps it will be worth whatever the cost for future generations.”
“How far are you along?”
A blush rose to the lady’s cheeks. “Almost four months. And already so weary of feeling ill and uncomfortable.”
But how wondrous would it be to carry the child of the man you loved?
“I just pray everything will be well.” Lydia looked at her with a sudden intensity. “Hannah…may I call you Hannah? I know we are hardly acquainted, but if I understand correctly, we shall soon be neighbors.”
“I suppose we will.” She could not imagine not returning with Joseph now. “And of course, you may call me Hannah.”
“Thank you.” Lydia took a breath. “I hesitate to press Daniel because of his determination to go home and confidence that all will be fine, but what is there for midwife or doctor in the valley? I know I cannot do this on my own.”
Hannah’s heart softened toward this woman who also carried so many fears. “Daniel’s mother has birthed five children. I am sure she knows what to do.” Hannah wished her own mother were alive and in the valley. Not only had she given birth to four children, but she had assisted many women after they’d returned to her people. She had seemed to know everything about birthing.
“Daniel said something similar, but…”
“He’s a man.” Hannah finished for her.
They both chuckled.
“Will you and Mr. Garnet return to the valley soon?” Lydia asked. “After you find your brother?”
“My brothers.” She emphasized the s. “And yes.” I do hope so.
“Oh, I am sorry. Daniel told me you had one younger brother to find. I did not realize two were missing.”
“My older brother, as well.”
A strange look passed Lydia’s face. Confusion. Or concern? “I will add both brothers to my prayers.”
“Thank you.” Something Hannah wished she could do as well. But even after Joseph’s brief lesson, she wasn’t prepared to address a God she didn’t know.
Lydia looked at the streets and Hannah followed. She saw Hunter first, Joseph astride, and hurried out to meet them. Daniel rode beside. She didn’t wait for either to dismount. “Anything?”
Joseph swung down and fastened Hunter’s reins to a rail. He took her arm. “Come inside and let us catch our breath.”
“Why. You’re talking fine as it is. Tell me, Joseph.”
He chuckled and led her inside to a table.
Fine. She sat down and crossed her arms. But please hurry.
He pulled a chair beside hers and turned it to face her.
Oh, please don’t have bad news. But there was something in his eyes that fed hope.
“Daniel found one of his old commanders and made some inquiries. We don’t know anything yet, but they said to return in the morning and he will tell us anything they’ve been able to discover.”
More waiting. “Tomorrow?” Always tomorrow. Always another day.
Daniel lowered into a chair across from them. “If Samuel is to be found, we will find him, Hannah.”
She snapped her head up. “Not just Samuel. Myles, too.”
Daniel’s brow furled. He looked at Joseph. “You never told her?”
Hannah’s heart thudded before plummeting to her stomach. “Told me what?” No. Please no.
Joseph’s mouth opened and froze. The color drained from his face.
No. Not Myles. “What Acker said was true?” She felt something crack open in her, but stiffened her spine and found her voice. “When? How long have you known?”
“Fort Rensselaer. They told me at Fort Rensselaer.”
Well over a week—almost two. He’d lied to her.
“Hannah, I didn’t want to say anything until…”
He was still talking, but she could no longer hear him over the rush in her ears. Her focus, her sanity, everything was slipping away. She shoved away from the table and rushed to the stairs. It was true. Myles was dead. Killed for wanting nothing to do with the Patriot cause.
~*~
Joseph shoved to his feet, but a hand gripped his sleeve.
“Give her some time,” Daniel said.
Time? To face this alone? She had no one, not even God to cry to. He couldn’t leave her alone. He pulled away and followed up the stairs. The door slammed ahead of him. He steeled himself and took hold of the latch. “Lord, help me comfort her.” He stepped in the room.
Hannah spun to face him, tears on her cheeks. “Go away.”
I cannot do that. “Hannah, I’m—”
“Sorry? That you lied to me? Over and over, making me believe there was a chance he was still alive. Making me believe either of them are alive. Do you know about Samuel? Is he dead too and you’re just dragging me along? Why? What do you want from me?”
“Hannah.” Joseph tried to touch her arm, but she struck his hand away.
“Don’t touch me.” More tears rolled from her lower lashes. “Don’t ever come near me again. In fact, what are you even doing here? Get out. Leave. Go back to your farm and your family. You don’t owe me anything, not your promises, not your presence.” She grabbed his saddlebags from the floor by the bed and tossed them at him.
They thudded to the floor, and he stepped over them. “Hannah, I’m not going anywhere.” He caught her arms.
She jerked back, but he held her fast. Until her foot slammed into his shin. He swallowed the pain with a grunt and tried to reclaim her arms. He missed one, and her knuckles plowed into his face.
He tasted blood.
“What sort of devils shoot boys for not wanting to fight?”
“Hannah…”
“And if you’d been there, you would have sat on your horse and watched, wouldn’t you have? You wouldn’t have done anything. You never did anything!” She screamed the last words at him and struck again. Both fists pummeled his chest.
Joseph pulled her tight. “Hannah.”
She tried to shove away, but he wouldn’t let her. If he let her go now, she’d never let him in again. She’d lock him out and face this battle alone.
“I hate you!”
She struggled against his hold, but he only tightened it and tucked his head against hers.
“I hate…” The word died with a sob. She trembled in his arms, her fight failing. Tears tickled his neck.
Joseph didn’t dare speak, even to soothe. So he simply held her as she wailed. And then cried. And then sobbed. She sagged into him, and slowly they sank to the floor together. Still, he held her. Rocking gently as he would one of his children.
Shadows lengthened across the room and her eyes dried. Still they didn’t move. Or speak. Joseph stroked her hair. How gladly he would bear her pain for her, to keep her safe from it. To protect her. He pressed his mouth to the top of her head and took a jagged breath. Still his lungs ached. No, not his lungs. His heart. Ached with emotions he’d felt before for another woman, emotions he felt no weaker now. Not just attraction, not just a need to protect, but something that stirred the very depths of his soul.
26
Hannah leaned into Joseph, eyes closed against more tears as he cradled her with a tenderness she’d never imagined any man possessing—especially not Joseph Garnet. In the darkness of approaching night, the room around them vanished away. His heart thudded in her ear, matching the rhythm of her own. His hands, though calloused, gently stroked her hair away from her face.
Gradually her eyes dried, though the open wound in her heart remained. As did thoughts of Myles. He didn’t deserve death, and definitely not an execution. She could picture him on the ground, leaning against the cabin or under a tree, knees bent up, knife in hand as he whittled away at whatever piece of wood he’d chosen to bring back to life.
The agony rippled through her with another sob, though she had no more tears.
“Shhh.” Joseph’s breath warmed the top of her head. He stood and pulled Hannah with him, never releasing his hold on her as he lifted her into his arms and set her on the bed. He got in beside her. “Try to sleep.”
“I can’t.” When she closed her eyes she saw passionate, determined, stubborn Myles. Had he begged for his life when the soldiers discovered him trying to leave, or had he simply glowered at them with those almost black eyes he’d inherited from Mama? Had they hurt him too, or killed him immediately?
“You have to have faith that Samuel is still out there, and that we’ll find him.”
Faith? In what? The brutalities of war? She didn’t have anywhere to put her faith. If only she knew a Great Creator, or Loving Father to grant her some sort of hope. The hope Joseph must have had to be able to leave his family to help her search. The hope Lydia Reid held that despite her fears she would follow her husband into the wilderness.
Hannah rotated in Joseph’s embrace to face him. “Do you really believe your God hears prayers?”
For a moment he said nothing, then a nod. “I do.”
“Will you help me pray?”
He kissed her hairline and took one of her hands in his. The other remained around her. “Dear Lord…” He waited.
“Dear Lord.” She closed her eyes and tipped her head forward until it met Joseph’s.
“Tell Him what’s in your heart.”
Her heart? She didn’t want to look that deep. Too much pain resided within. More than she could bear by herself. “Help me.”
Joseph gripped her hand, but said nothing.
She turned her plea to one she couldn’t see or feel. “Help me, God. Please. Will you take everyone from me? Myles…I wanted to see him again, to see what manner of man he’d become, to see Pa in him, to…” have family again. “I—I don’t want him to be dead.” I don’t want to lose everyone I love. “All my hope lies with Samuel. That he’s somewhere alive. Oh, Lord, please leave him alive. I need him.” I need him, God. And I need Joseph. I didn’t realize how greatly until now, but God, I wouldn’t have been able to survive this without him here with me. Let me keep him forever this way. “Bring Samuel back to me.” And let me keep Joseph.
When Hannah said nothing more, Joseph squeezed her hand. “Lord, this we pray, in Jesus’s name.”
Neither of them spoke more. Gradually Joseph’s hold relaxed and his breathing deepened. She stared at the shadows on his face. She had never expected this gentleness from him. This patience. Her heart swelled, but not just with feeling for him. Hope was also there. Almost like a tender embrace from within, and the whisper that Someone she had never known, or spoken to until tonight, loved her.
~*~
Numb tingles shot pain up and down Joseph’s arm, but Hannah lay so peacefully in the light of day. He’d woken a while ago, but other than the pain in his arm from the pressure of her head, he was quite content to watch her sleep. Besides, she needed the rest. She’d tossed and turned beside him most of the night.
He reached out with his free hand and brushed the dark strands of hair from her cheek. “Lord, please hear her prayer. Protect Samuel and help us find him.” Even if You don’t hear my prayer, hear hers. Joseph smoothed his thumb over her eyebrow, following the curve. It was impossible to ignore his own desires. “But if my prayers are heard…I want her, Lord. I want to find her brother and take her home. I want my children at home with us.” His lungs burned and he forced a breath. “I want a family again.”
Hannah stirred, releasing a soft sigh as she rolled toward him. He slid his arm deeper so her head came onto his shoulder, then stretched his arm and worked feeling back into his hand. Relaxed, Joseph smiled at the thought of a future together. And never a dull moment. He’d do his best to make her happy, while she kept him on his toes with her sharp wit and fiery temper. Once in a while he might even provoke her, just enough to watch her flair. She was real pretty when angry.
A tapping at the door broke through his daydream. Hannah moaned, but her eyes remained closed. Joseph quickly extracted himself from under her and hurried to answer the door before they woke her. Thankfully, he was still fully clothed.
