The Tory's Daughter, page 14
“Good.”
They rode in silence for the next mile or so, and Joseph couldn’t think of a way to break it. Probably best to focus on finding her brothers. He didn’t want to ponder his secrets or what they would do to her. He didn’t want to think about her pa and the pure hate in his eyes as he had thrust his bayonet toward Joseph’s head—hate Joseph knew had been mirrored in his own eyes. He couldn’t bear the thought of seeing it in Hannah’s too. Not anymore.
Hunter lunged sideways over a muddy rut to the grass beyond, and Hannah’s hold strengthened around Joseph’s waist. He wanted to lay his hand over hers, keep her there. But he was no longer sure there would be a way to keep her at all.
They rode a ways farther before Hannah spoke. “Do you think Myles and Samuel were kept close? Or would they have been sent to fight in one of the other colonies?”
“I don’t imagine they would have been sent too far.” New York had its fair share of battles. Not that Joseph knew how the rest of the country fared. They heard very little of what happened outside the Mohawk valley.
“Then perhaps Fort Rensselaer may have reports of them.” Her voice rang sharp with artificial hope.
“If not Fort Rensselaer, I’m sure we’ll find something between there and Albany.”
The conversation lapsed for several minutes, but the rush of the nearby river kept them company.
Hannah released a sigh before speaking again. “Do you think my brothers will ever be accepted back into the settlement? Maybe it’s foolish of me to ask, after what Acker and them wrote on your barn, but Myles and Samuel have been fighting on your side for most of this war. Won’t that count for something?”
“I’d think it would.” But many clung to the past too tightly. Even he struggled with that.
“I think Myles would settle back in the valley if he was allowed.”
And if Acker’s rumor about his death wasn’t true.
“I remember he used to be quite taken with one of the Reid girls.” As soon as Hannah said it, her hands dropped from Joseph’s waist to the saddle.
He could guess why. “Myles and Fannie were about the same age, weren’t they?”
Joseph sensed her nod. “But Fannie was always in love with you.”
So he’d been told. He’d been too busy with the war and crops to see her as anything more than Rachel’s friend and Daniel’s little sister.
“When did you finally notice her?” It was as though Hannah read the direction of his thoughts, but she sounded sad as she asked.
He gave the question some thought. “Around the same time Rachel was falling in love with her British soldier, and Daniel was asking my permission to court her.”
“Daniel Reid?”
He nodded.
“I always pictured them marrying.”
So had Joseph, but the Lord had other plans. Joseph frowned and was grateful that Hannah couldn’t see his face. Would he have noticed Fannie at that time if Rachel hadn’t been on the brink of marriage? Daniel had his own cabin, and soon Joseph would have been alone. But there was Fannie with her pretty smile. The choice had been easy and logical. Love hadn’t come for a while. It had crept up on him so slowly, he hadn’t known what it was. Enjoying her company on a cold winter evening, listening to her talk about plans and dreams, watching her work alongside him.
The first time she’d placed his hand on her stomach to feel the new life growing within, a life he had helped create. That first birthing, her ma chasing him out of the cabin, and his heart pleading that all would go well. Hearing her suffer. The glow on her tired face as she’d passed his son to him. He’d begun to understand love. And that love had grown. Still, Joseph hadn’t known how much he’d loved her until her life was slipping away. A piece of him also slipped away.
“What ever happened to Daniel?”
What? What did Daniel have to do with anything? What had they been talking about? Joseph dredged through their conversation, his heart echoing in his ears. Somehow it still beat despite the ache piercing it. Oh, yes. Rachel and Daniel. And what had happened. He cleared the thickness from his voice. “After Rachel and Andrew married, Daniel rode to Albany and joined the Army. That was almost four years ago. Last we heard was from one of the Carolinas. He wrote that he planned on coming home to help with planting this spring, but we’ve seen nothing of him.” There was a lot of war between the Carolinas and New York.
Joseph’s thoughts did not stay long on Daniel. He was too busy contemplating the irony of his life. He’d chosen a good woman to be his wife, but had taken too long to learn to love her. Now he’d been compelled into a marriage with a woman he could easily fall in love with—and that was the one thing he couldn’t do.
~*~
Hannah stared at Joseph’s back as he again slipped into the silence of his own thoughts. Not surprising. She’d reminded him of his dear wife. No doubt he had many lovely memories to recall. So much better than the present and thinking about the woman he’d shackled himself to. She’d been nothing but trouble. She would never hope to compare, or steal even a part of Joseph’s heart from his beloved Fannie. He’d made that perfectly clear over the past few days. One moment on the brink of intimacy, and he’d withdrawn. He preferred a rainstorm to being close to her.
“I’m sorry for your loss.” Sorry that she was such a miserable substitute.
Joseph glanced back at her, his expression curious, and then nodded. He’d seemed a step behind this whole conversation.
Don’t think about Fannie.
Joseph was doing enough of that for both of them.
Hannah bit back a groan. She hadn’t seen Fannie in years, and yet she was completely jealous of her, and the hold she had on Joseph’s affections. Hannah didn’t need his whole heart, but was it wrong to want her husband to feel something for her?
The silence was desired this time, and she let it wedge itself between them along with the bed rolls fastened to the back of the saddle. If only she could keep her heart safely on her side.
Only a few more minutes passed before Joseph dismounted and handed her the reins. “I’ll walk for a while so Hunter doesn’t have to work so hard.”
Hannah scooted over the bedrolls and into the saddle. Hunter pawed the ground as he waited, still obviously fresh and eager to move. Joseph was probably the one who needed a rest…from being so near her.
Is this what their marriage meant to him? He’d discharge his duty to her while keeping his distance.
Joseph started walking and Hannah nudged the horse to keep pace.
“What happens when we do find Myles and Samuel?” she asked. Did he plan to hand the responsibility for her over to them? Or did he expect her to return with him? And then what?
Joseph blew out his breath. “Let’s decide that when we find them.”
His easy response cut. “I know my brothers will have their own decisions to make, but…” Do you want me? Hannah couldn’t ask that question for fear that she already knew the answer.
Joseph stopped, and she pulled Hunter up alongside him.
“But?” His eyes searched hers. “What do you want?”
How dare he turn her question on her? What she wanted was a husband who would let himself love her like Pa had loved Mama. She wanted four walls and a family. She wanted… Her heart thudded with the realization of exactly what she wanted. He stood before her with his hat pushed up on his brow and his blue eyes questioning. She wanted his heart. Not just the shell Fannie had left.
Hunter shifted his weight, reminding her that she sat astride one of the most beautiful and powerful animals she’d ever seen. She ached to spur him forward, to fly across the distance between her and possible answers about her brothers…and to put some distance between her and Joseph until she could clear her mind.
~*~
Joseph winced as a large clod of mud that had been molded to the underside of a hoof struck his shoulder. Smaller pieces pelleted him as Hunter dug earth and sprinted away. Obviously he’d said something wrong. And yet, he couldn’t resist a smile. That woman was like a spring storm, showering him with life, while crashing with lightning and thunder—never letting him be certain quite what to expect.
He took two steps before again coming to a halt. His blood flowed through him, the breeze touched his face, and the sun warmed his neck and shoulders. He felt more alive than he had since Fannie’s death. The effect Hannah had on him. A grin stretched his mouth and he lengthened his stride. Who could have guessed her riding off in a flare of temper could leave him so amused? Though he still hadn’t figured out what caused the spark. She’d been asking about their plans after her brothers were found. He honestly wasn’t sure. But he had asked what she’d wanted—a question most women appreciated. Hannah had not reacted as expected. She hadn’t even answered him. Why?
Again his feet faltered. He’d lived with Rachel and had been married to Fannie long enough to know when a woman refused to answer a question it was because she wanted him to already know the answer. As usual, he’d failed. Joseph replayed their conversation, focusing on the end until his head ached. Each time, he came up with the same result.
“What have I done?”
All this time he’d been worried about Oriskany. He’d convinced himself to keep his distance and not make plans for a future because Hannah would never feel anything for him if she knew the truth. But he’d never told her the truth. She had no reason to protect her heart.
He glanced heavenward. “Oh, Lord, how could I have been so careless?” In order to protect himself, he’d convinced himself that her ignorance was for her own good. But he’d seen the vulnerability in her eyes when she’d looked at him. He wasn’t completely blind.
Just daft.
Hannah was falling in love with him.
Joseph hiked along the trail, grateful for some time to think and make plans. He had two options. He could force himself to forget about Oriskany, give her his heart and pray she never discovered the truth. After they found her brothers, they could return home and start a new life together. James and Martha would have a mother and he’d have his family.
He smiled at the thought of waking up beside her and days filled with never knowing what she would say or do next. Watching her with the horses she loved. Holding her in his arms as they fell asleep at the end of each day. All he had to do was forget the worst day of his life, one that still haunted him in his dreams.
Or he could tell Hannah that he killed her father and let her hate him.
He drilled a thumb into his temple. Couldn’t quite press the ache away. All too soon he came over a rise to see Hannah standing beside Hunter with a shy smile, eyes shaded with lowered lashes. His heart whacked against his ribs.
“Hunter got away from me for a moment.”
“He can be quite spirited. Maybe that’s why you two get along so well.”
A becoming pink rose to her cheeks, and she made a face.
Joseph stifled a laugh he only half felt. He still hadn’t made a decision, but the longer they stood here, the more the first option beckoned. “I needed to stretch my legs anyway.”
“Seems you and Hunter have plenty in common, as well.”
He paused face-to-face with her. What would she do if he took her in his arms now and kissed her as he’d wanted to five days ago?
What would she do if he told her everything?
“We should pause for few minutes and then head on to the fort.” He reached for the canteen, his throat suddenly parched.
“How much farther do we have to go?”
Joseph glanced toward the river. He hadn’t been paying attention to their progress or location. “We’re probably close to half way. Why? Are you thinking of riding off without me again?”
Her mouth opened with a reply, but instead of saying anything, she shook her head. Her smile became demure—a word he’d never imagined associating with her. “Of course not.”
22
Hannah clamped her tongue between her teeth until it hurt to keep herself from arguing with Joseph about accompanying him to speak with the officers of Fort Rensselaer. She had come to the conclusion that if she wanted him, she would have to start fighting for him—instead of with him. She’d never steal him from memories of Fannie unless she became what he wanted in a woman. Quiet. Reflective. Obedient. Feminine. That’s what she remembered of Fannie Reid. Obviously they had been the traits that had won Joseph’s heart.
“I shan’t be long,” he said as he turned away and left her standing with Hunter just inside the gates.
She had the mind to take the horse on another run and find a release for the frustration and anxiety spiking through her. But the poor animal, as magnificent and powerful as he was, had already spent most of the day on the trail and probably preferred a good currying and some oats. She’d try to focus on that instead.
Hannah only made it halfway across the compound when she saw Joseph exiting Colonel Willett’s office with a stocky man without uniform. Joseph did not appear pleased. She reversed course, raising her brows in question as she met them.
“Seems Colonel Willett and his officers rode out on patrol this morning. We might have to sit tight for a couple of days.”
“This morning?” So if they had ridden out after the storm and not stayed over in Fort Herkimer for the Sabbath, they would have arrived in time. She struggled to keep her gaze relaxed and not shoot daggers in Joseph’s direction.
“And I’m afraid there’s not much for accommodations in the fort for you and the missus,” the man stated. “Not with the army headquartering here. But if you cross the river and ride northwest a couple hours, there’s a real nice tavern that will put you up.”
Hannah shook her head and was grateful when Joseph agreed. “I think we’ll stay close so we’ll know when they return.”
“As you see fit. I can probably find you a tent that’s not in use. Way the weather’s been, hate for you and the lady to get caught out in any rain.”
And yet Hannah had no regrets from the last time the heavens had opened on them. For a brief moment, Joseph had been hers.
“We’d appreciate that.” Joseph took Hunter’s reins and followed to a shed near some stables.
The man slipped inside for a moment before returning with a canvas roll, stakes and three poles. “Just bring it back before you leave.”
“Appreciate it,” Joseph said.
The man nodded and moved on.
Joseph turned to Hannah and indicated the dusty tent. “Up to giving me a hand with this?”
She reached for the poles and smiled. “Of course.”
He gave her a strange look. Maybe he sensed the explosion she wanted to give voice to at the thought of waiting two more days.
They found a relatively flat area outside of the fort and Joseph unrolled the canvas.
“Isn’t this…?” Hannah clamped her mouth closed.
“What’s wrong?”
They were too close to the fort for her liking. And too out in the open—she would have preferred nearer some trees—but she smiled. “Nothing.”
He raised a brow before smoothing out the canvas and locating the four corners of the base. “All right. Let’s put the stakes in the corners. I’ll push them down with my boot.”
“But what about the ties at the doorway?” They were unfastened, making it hard to tell if the tent was truly squared. It was not much different from one her mother had traded for once they were forced from their village and longhouse.
“We’ll worry about that after. Better it’s open anyway while we slide the ridge pole into place and stand her up.”
Hannah nodded and handed him a stake. Wasn’t worth contradicting him, and perhaps the door would line up well enough.
Soon the stakes were driven into the soft earth and Joseph placed the ridge pole, and then pushed the leg poles into place on either end, standing the tent upright.
Hannah clamped hard on her bottom lip at sight of the wide gap hanging between the door flaps. The tent wasn’t quite squared, and the door wouldn’t fasten properly unless they took the tent down and started fresh.
Joseph huffed out a breath and glanced to her. “No gloating that you were right?”
With a quick shake of her head, she turned and moved around the tent to the back leg pole so he couldn’t see how hard it was to keep her smirk contained. It was even harder not to wonder if winning Joseph’s affections was worth this torture. How long would she be able to contain herself?
~*~
Joseph reined in Hunter as he neared the river. Across the rushing water, swollen from the spring rains, Fort Rensselaer sat peaceful, only a few funnels of smoke rising from cooking fires. The tent he shared with Hannah was barely visible.
He felt his shoulders slump. Something was wrong with Hannah. Joseph wasn’t sure what, but for the last two days she’d been far too sweet. Complacent even. If that were possible. What worried him most was the tick in her cheek now and again, though she appeared to be smiling. Or the slight flare of her nostrils when she’d agreed to let him ride to some of the nearby outposts and see if he could discover anything more, while she remained behind to watch for the return of Colonel Willett.
Hannah’s eyes were another thing all together, and he began to question if he had ever seen affection in them. Which gave him more time before making a decision on how to proceed, but made him worry she might be capable of taking his life if she ever found out the truth.
Still, he missed her.
Joseph was about to nudge Hunter forward to catch the ferry across the river when the rush of hooves pulled his attention to the north. Trail weary animals and men came into view, most of them in uniform. The army had returned.
Joseph started in their direction, approaching the officers from the side. Colonel Willett’s profile was easily recognized with his prominent nose and sharp features. Joseph recognized others as well, but was not as familiar with their names. He pulled Hunter alongside and saluted. “Colonel Willett, I wonder if I might beg a moment of your time. I’m looking for someone.”
