The Nature of the Game (Stick Side Book 2), page 27
“The piercings, remember?” Ash waved at his own face. “Eyebrow, lip, nose. He only wears them when there aren’t cameras around.”
“Like at The Tavern the other day.”
“Mm.”
“He reminds me of Mitch,” Dan mused. “Lots of attitude to hide what’s really going on inside. Except Kinsey’s attitude comes with more anger.”
“Can we stop talking about Kinsey while we’re naked in bed?” Ash grumbled.
“You’re the one who brought him up, but sure.” Dan pushed Ash’s shoulder with a lewd smile. Ash took the hint and lay back, surprised and delighted when Dan climbed on top of him. “Wanna do something else instead?”
Yes! I’m so on board I can’t see straight.
His dick was on board too. But . . .
“Whoa, hold the fort there, hot stuff.” He tapped Dan’s thigh where it was slung around his hip. “Wanna tell me what changed?”
Curls fell over Dan’s forehead when he cocked his head. “Huh?”
“The past few days, you’ve been pulling away when things get . . . intimate between us.”
“Oh. Right. It’s just, I . . .” He trailed off and looked everywhere but at Ash.
Needing to be closer, Ash sat up and wrapped his arms around Dan, bringing them face-to-face. Dan slid down Ash’s stomach, nudging Ash’s dick.
Ash nearly swallowed his tongue. “Gargh.”
“Sorry,” Dan said, chuckling. “Did it to yourself, though.”
Ash groaned, nerves tingling. “Pretending you’re not sitting on my dick . . .” He pecked Dan’s lips. “Talk to me.”
“It’s stupid.” Dan kissed Ash’s shoulder where the skin there met his neck, making Ash’s eyes cross when his tongue came out to play. “Just that the last time we had sex, I got kicked out.”
Oh, fuck. Damn, Ash was an idiot. Of course his actions had left their mark. They’d had sex, during which Dan told him he loved him, and not twelve hours later, Ash was telling him to get the fuck out. Would they never stop hurting each other?
Truth was, probably not. Even two people in a relationship hurt each other sometimes. They simply needed to learn to work through things together.
Like right now.
“I’m sorry.” He hugged Dan closer. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t. You already apologized, that’s not why I told you. My head’s just been dealing with it, I guess. It’s stupid.”
“Not stupid.”
It was about as stupid as Ash holding himself back and not getting too close to anyone the last few years. They’d been instinctively protecting themselves.
“We can have sex now, though?” he asked for clarification, falling back against the pillows, bringing Dan with him.
“Uh-huh.”
Cupping Ash’s jaw, Dan tilted Ash’s head to the right angle and kissed him silly.
The sound of their stubbled jaws scritching made Ash crazy, and he hooked one leg around Dan’s hip. Letting Dan set the pace, Ash ran one hand down Dan’s back, avoiding his bruised lower left side, and squeezed his asscheek. Fuck, Dan felt so fucking good in Ash’s arms—better even than he had when they’d done this days ago. Because now they were on the same page.
Dan pulled his mouth away with a groan and slid his lips from Ash’s jaw to his neck to his chest. “God. What you do to me.”
“Feeling’s mutual. Get back up here.” Ash carded his fingers through Dan’s hair. “I want your mouth.”
Obliging with a hot sound, Dan swept back in and took Ash’s lips again. Ash’s stomach tumbled on itself, and his nerve endings went haywire with desire.
They kissed for a long time, sometimes slow and sensual, other times fast and messy. Hands found sensitive spots, skin flushed and heated, eyes met for a beat before the kissing began anew. Kissing Dan was like meeting a kindred spirit.
“Always loved kissing you,” Dan murmured before gently biting down on Ash’s lower lip.
“Fuck.”
Throwing his head back, Ash gasped as Dan made his way down his body and caressed every inch of him he could find. Ash’s skin was burning, and he hissed in a breath when Dan sucked him into his mouth and played with his ballsack.
It was both torture and pleasure.
“Dan . . . Fuck.”
“Mm.”
The moan around Ash’s erection made him see stars. “I need . . .” He reached into the nightstand and blindly fished for a condom and lube. His hand jerked and hit the top of the table when Dan licked into his slit. “Dan. Fuck, please.”
Dan must’ve heard his desperation, because he climbed up Ash’s body. Grabbing what they needed from the nightstand, he handed Ash the lube and left the condom on the pillow.
“Roll over,” Ash demanded.
How beautiful Dan was, all loose-limbed with passion and slick with sweat. Hearing his breath catch as Ash prepped him with one finger, then two, then three, made Ash’s blood boil. With one hand, Ash held Dan’s thigh open, and the sight of Dan with his lips parted, fists clutching the pillow behind him, legs shaking, lungs heaving . . . Ash bit Dan’s hip and tried not to come on the bedcovers.
Once he deemed Dan ready, Ash kneeled between Dan’s legs and rolled on the condom.
Dan kicked him gently in the thigh. “On your back.”
Obeying, Ash laid back and watched with glorious wonder as Dan straddled him for the second time that night.
“Like this,” Dan said, voice hoarse, sweat matting his hair. “Like the first time.”
Oh god, yes.
Then Ash was inside him, and all of a sudden it was six years ago and they were doing “the thing” for the first time in Dan’s tiny apartment in Herald Square. Fuck but Ash missed that apartment, and as much as he hadn’t wanted to, he’d thought about it a lot the last several years. Their safe space, their haven, their home. Where they’d learned and laughed and loved.
And here they were now, after so much time apart, and if anything, Ash loved Dan more than ever. But there was a fear under his breastbone that was new; a fear that Dan would disappear from his life again with nothing but an I’m sorry, I can’t.
What was fear, though, if he wasn’t willing to face it? Once, he would’ve thought he was smart for protecting his heart. Now it seemed braver to let go of the past and hold on tight.
So he did.
Sitting up, he clamped his arms around Dan and swallowed Dan’s moan with a kiss. Dan placed a hand against Ash’s neck and used a thumb to nudge Ash’s mouth open wider.
Fuck, that was hot as sin.
They were both panting when they pulled back, and at the same time, they said, “I love you,” making them chuckle gruffly.
Dan buried his face in Ash’s neck. “Ash,” he sobbed.
“I got you.” Lying back again for more leverage, Ash planted his heels against the bed . . .
And pumped.
“Oh!” Dan’s eyes squeezed shut, and he gasped and moaned and swore as he met Ash thrust for thrust, falling forward onto his hands. One fell onto the bed; the other was braced on Ash’s chest, fingers curled, nails digging into Ash’s skin.
“Fuck, yeah, keep doing that.” That little bite of pain meant the marks would last long enough for Ash to see them in the mirror tomorrow morning. Tiny nail-shaped crescents. Evidence of this night.
Ash took Dan’s hard-as-a-steel-pipe cock in his hand and jerked him off, earning him a choked off shout as Dan came, his whole body going rigid. Ash followed right behind him, toes curling.
Dan slumped forward onto Ash’s chest, shaking as he came down from the high. They were both drenched in sweat and sticky with lube and come, but Dan cuddled close and Ash wasn’t letting go for anything.
Except to throw out the condom, which he did a few minutes later. Crawling back into bed, he cleaned Dan up, running a warm washcloth over his belly, his soft cock, and between his thighs while Dan ran the backs of his fingers over Ash’s cheekbone.
Once he was done, Ash threw the cloth in the direction of the bathroom, where it landed on the tile with a wet splat. He curled up next to Dan and laid his head on Dan’s pillow. He kissed Dan’s temple once, twice, then again. Dan smiled at him softly.
Now Ash could sleep.
“Hey,” Dan said a few minutes later when Ash was starting to drift off. “Were you serious about that government space army thing? Because I feel like that could be a perfect opportunity to propose Sparklepants Space Station to the president.”
Ash laughed so hard his stomach hurt.
Dan awoke the next morning feeling loose and languid and like he could take on the world and win. Also, he was freezing, as he often was while indoors in this state. Pulling the covers up, he brought it over his head, tucking himself into a blanket burrito.
Better.
Except Ash was missing.
He could hear the blender and smell bread toasting. Likely Ash was making himself breakfast before getting ready for his flight that left in . . . Dan extended an arm for his cell phone on the night table. Three hours.
Which meant they had about an hour before Ash needed to head to the airport. They could do a lot in an hour.
His phone rang in his hand before he had a chance to implement any of his many fantasies, most of them featuring shower sex, and he swiped to answer before noticing whose name was on the call display.
“Damn it.”
“Dan?”
He sighed. “Hi, Mom.” He’d been avoiding her calls since hanging up on her last week and any second now he was going to hear about it.
“Dan, do you know what day it is?”
His sleepy brain stalled. That wasn’t at all what he’d expected and he had to think about the answer for a second. “Um, Thursday?”
“Thursday, the first of October to be exact. Meaning you’ve been away from the office for two and a half weeks. I expected you back by now.”
“What?” Maybe he was still half asleep, but he didn’t remember ever telling her when he’d be back.
“I expect my employees to show up at the office.”
“I’m working out of the Tampa office for now,” he said, knuckling one eye.
“I happen to know for a fact that the Tampa office is temporarily closed until the water damage can be repaired. Employees have been working from home.”
“Right. Like I have. Well, from—” Ash’s. “—the hotel, but still.”
“I expect you back in the New York office on Monday.”
Expect, expect, expect. As if everything revolved around her. She was ruining his good mood. “Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.”
“Dan.” She didn’t sigh; she never showed that much emotion. But she did make a sound in the back of her throat. “If you don’t come back to work, I’m going to out your brother.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Huh?” Were they having two different conversations, or what?
“If you’re not in the office first thing Monday morning, I’ll let your brother’s sexuality slip.” Her voice was so matter of fact, it was taking him a moment to catch up. “Not sure how many NHL teams will want a gay player. Monday, Dan.”
She hung up.
So much for taking on the world.
Suddenly awake, he sat up, the cover pooling at his waist. His skin pebbled from the cold but with the fire boiling in his veins, he couldn’t feel it. There was just a swell of fury as he stiffly swung out of bed and started throwing clothes at random into a small suitcase.
Twice! This was the second time she’d used Mitch against him, and fuck her if she thought she could get away with it again. Underwear joined a pair of jeans and a couple of T-shirts. Socks. A light jacket. His laptop went into a messenger bag.
Why was it so important for him to be physically present in the office that she’d threaten Mitch to get him to cooperate? As if he couldn’t work from anywhere. Jesus, he was so fucking done.
“What are you mumbling about?”
“Huh?” He turned, finding Ash in the doorway in only a pair of loose sweats, hair sticking straight up, a tall glass filled with a pink-colored smoothie in each hand.
“I could hear you talking to yourself from the kitchen,” Ash said, placing the glasses on the dresser. “What’s going on?” His dark gaze landed on the suitcase on the bed. He stilled. Tone cautious, he asked, “Are you going somewhere?”
Even Ash’s half-nakedness couldn’t quell Dan’s anger. His stomach burned with resentment. “I have to go home for a couple days.”
“A couple days?”
“Yup.” He marched into the bathroom and started the shower. “I’ll be back Saturday night, latest.”
“What’s so important that you didn’t even fold your clothes before putting them in your suitcase?”
Jumping into the shower, Dan said, “There’s no time for niceties.”
“I don’t know if I’d consider that—”
“God, I can’t believe her!” He shampooed his hair, then rinsed it out quickly, surely leaving most of the shampoo behind. “As if once wasn’t enough, she has to go and blackmail me a second time.”
“Ah. Your mom, then,” Ash said from the other side of the shower stall.
Dan briskly ran the bar of soap over himself, rinsed, and turned off the water. The faster he got ready, the sooner he could head to the airport, and the sooner he could confront his mom.
“Where does she get off? Huh?” Stepping out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist.
Ash leaned his ass against the bathroom counter, arms crossed. “What’d she do this time?”
“I can’t even with her right now.” Marching past him, Dan went back into the bedroom and pulled clothes out of the drawer Ash had given him.
“Okay, stop.” Ash’s hands landed on his shoulders. He turned Dan to face him. “Take a breath.” Dan did. “Now tell me what happened.”
Looking into Ash’s concerned gaze, Dan took a second lungful of oxygen. Admittedly, it did help settle him. “My mom threatened to out Mitch if I’m not back in the office on Monday.”
“Okay,” Ash said slowly, brow creasing. “And you’re going back to . . .”
“To give her a damn piece of my mind.”
Ash’s mouth kicked up. “Okay, baby, come here. Keep breathing.”
Sinking into Ash, Dan let out a long breath into his shoulder. “I’m so tired of fighting her, Ash.”
“I know.” Ash kissed his temple. “Can you wait? I’m back Saturday morning. We can fly out together that afternoon. That way I can come with you.”
“Thank you.” Dan pulled away to kiss Ash’s unshaved jaw. “But I don’t think I can wait that long. I want to be done with it.” He winced. “Look, I know this reeks of six years ago—”
Ash cupped his face. “No.” His gaze was intense and steady. “We’re done living there, remember?”
Something that felt like permanence settled over Dan’s bones. “Okay.”
“Okay. Now tell me why you can’t be done with it from here.”
“I need to face her. Look her in the eye and tell her she’s lost.”
“That’s . . . kind of evil.”
Dan scoffed. “Nah. Just necessary. Besides.” He ran a thumb over Ash’s lower lip. “While I’m there, I can start packing my apartment, hire movers . . .”
Ash’s eyes lit up. “Now you’re talking. I just wish you didn’t have to go.”
“It’s only for a couple of days. And you won’t even be here anyway.” Dan patted Ash’s chest above his heart. “Don’t worry, though. My heart’s staying here with you.”
As if suddenly weightless, Ash fell onto him, arms banding around his waist. He kissed Dan’s neck. “I love you, you know that?” A second kiss to Dan’s neck, then he pulled back to meet Dan’s gaze. “Okay. Go to New York. Break up with your mom.”
Dan’s snorted laugh felt freeing.
“But first, since this involves Mitch . . . maybe give him a call first?”
Eight hours after his mother’s phone call, Dan stepped into the lobby of Westlake Waterless Printing in Manhattan. In that time his ire had cooled, so it was with a calmer head that he aimed for the stairwell behind the bank of elevators.
Mitch’s response to Dan’s news had been a pithy “Fuck her” followed by “Doesn’t she watch the news?”
Men and women in business attire sat in the lobby typing on laptops, crossed the marbled floor with heads bent and thumbs arcing across tiny telephone keyboards, waited aimlessly for the elevator. The hustle and bustle of New York City. It was jarring after a few weeks away. Dan had once prided himself on being one of them—flitting from appointment to meeting, always being on, dealing with every little detail as if they were all emergencies that needed immediate handling.
Tampa had a slower rhythm to it, was more social, and had little lizards sunning themselves on Ash’s front porch. Despite the traffic being as miserable as it was in New York, Dan was looking forward to making a permanent move there. Well, as permanent as could be when his boyfriend could be traded anywhere.
Stopping in front of the door to the stairwell, he turned and observed the elevators, their bland silver doors opening with a quiet whoosh to belch out passengers and closing on new victims moments later.
Fuck it.
He sweat on the entire trip up, swallowing against a dry throat. Tucked into a back corner, he kept one eye on the little display that told him what floor he was on, and ignored the rest of the passengers. Fifth floor, sixth, seventh. Pause to vomit passengers. The walls were too close, but if he kept sight of his own reflection in the mirrored back wall, it made the tiny space feel a smidge larger.
Why couldn’t everyone get off and leave him the six-by-six space? The car wouldn’t seem so small then, and he might be able to breathe.
Then again, if you plunge to your death, you won’t be alone.
There was that.
Finally expelled onto the eighteenth floor, Dan sucked in a large breath of fresh air and wiped his forehead. If he could ride in that death trap, he could do anything.
Making straight for his mother’s office, he announced himself to his mother’s executive assistant, then sat to wait. Tapping his heel impatiently, his mind went to Ash. They’d driven to the airport together, and Ash had dropped him off at his terminal with a kiss and a wink before jetting off to the private terminal celebrities, sports teams, and rich people flew out of.
