Fate: Updated Edition, page 7
Imagine, Peter writhing in a bed as his body died. His beautiful face contorting and twisting with pain, and through it all, he’s singing.
I often tried to figure out why Peter had turned Jack. They were opposites in nearly every way, and Peter was always running off on his own. He didn’t seem to have the inclination for companionship, not like Jack did. It didn’t make sense that he would turn someone knowing the attachment that would create with him.
In the book, Peter says almost nothing of his mortal life. Only going as far as to say that he was riding a horse that bucked him. The horse took off, and he was left dying on the side of the road. A stranger came upon him, and seeing the shape Peter was in, decided that turning him was the only way to save his life.
After that, Peter describes an intense feeling of loyalty and affection for the vampire.
“It wasn’t like anything I had ever felt before. In my previous life, I had a father, a brother, friends. But no other bond had ever felt this strong. I could sense everything that he felt, as if I was feeling it for myself. When he went too far away from me, there would be an awful panic inside, as if I wouldn’t be able to survive without him.
“There was nothing carnal about it, however. It was as if I was an extension of him. Being away from him would be as painful as being severed from my own limbs.
“Fortunately, he treated me with respect and dignity, like an equal or a brother. Many other fledgling vampyres did not acquire such a happy fate.”
That explained a bit more about what was going on with Milo and Jack, but it didn’t make me feel any better about it. I knew eventually that it would fade, as it had with Peter and Ezra, but even in the book, Peter did nothing to illuminate a time frame.
He moved onto the first time he saw a young man turn into a vampire. He described a disturbing scene that I wasn’t excited to repeat for myself.
I lay in bed, reading the book and listening to Elliott Smith. As the sun set on the third day, I still hadn’t heard from either Milo or Jack. I made it halfway through Peter’s book, and I was trying to read slowly.
Night settled on my room, making it too dark for me to read, and I stared at my phone, willing it to ring.
Milo needed time to get the hang of being a vampire, and his new jealous streak made it more dangerous for me to hang around Jack, but this was ridiculous. They both promised to talk to me soon, and it had been three days.
One entire day was spent consoling my mother when she learned that Milo left without really saying goodbye. After crying a lot, she started drinking even more, and ended up yelling profanities at me and throwing things.
On top of everything, school was less than two weeks away. Once summer vacation drew to a close, I’d have to deal with curfews and school that would keep me away from Jack and Milo even more.
I was going to spend the rest of my life cooped up inside this apartment by myself, and they didn’t even have the decency to call and give me one last blowout before deserting me for the rest of time.
In some form of misplaced pride, I’d been waiting for one of them to call or text me. But I was tired of waiting. I couldn’t stand the thought of spending another night suffocating in my tiny room.
Hi. What are you doing? I text messaged Jack.
Not much. What about you? Jack responded. It took him three minutes to answer, which was an unusually long time for him, especially since it was after ten o’clock at night. Even he never slept in this late.
Even less. I haven’t done anything in three days. I tried to lay on the guilt.
You haven’t talked to Jane? Jack suggested.
Not so much. But I guess I could. Great idea. I replied.
Right now, Jane was likely maximizing what was left of summer while she still could. For her, that would be beach parties and house parties and bonfires. Any of which sounded better than laying in bed all night.
But I hadn’t talked to her much lately, and I didn’t know how she’d feel about me crashing her fun.
I’m just pretty busy lately. Sorry. Jack texted.
No. I totally get it. It’s great. I’ll just do something else. That’s what I said, but I knew that I was going to spend the night in bed crying myself to sleep. Tomorrow, maybe I’d reach out to Jane, but I didn’t have the energy tonight.
No. Wait. Are you ready? Jack text messaged back, but it was too little too late.
Nope. I responded.
Just be ready and outside in like fifteen minutes, okay?
I didn’t reply to that. I couldn’t even decide if I wanted to get ready and go outside to meet him. I honestly didn’t want a pity hang out, even if I really did miss him. But I was bored and lonely and couldn’t stand how much I missed Jack and Milo.
I got up and slipped on a pair of jeans. I wore a white tank top and pulled my hair back in a ponytail. I quickly applied some eyeliner and mascara, and then ducked out the door, unsure if I was making the right decision or not.
When the black Jetta pulled up, I got my answer. It was absolutely the wrong decision.
Mae had come to pick me up.
I considered turning around and going back inside. What would I achieve by hanging out with her? I’d feel stupid and pathetic all night, and I was just prolonging the inevitable. When a guy sends his sister to hang out with you instead of him, I think that’s the beginning of the end.
“Hello, love,” Mae said when she had rolled down the car window. She leaned across the passenger seat towards me, looking apologetic. “I know I’m not quite what you hoped for, but Jack thought you needed to get out of the house.”
“You know what? I’m actually fine.” I chewed my lip. “He’s, um… he’s mistaken. I’m sure you have better things to do than baby-sit me, so I’ll just go back in.”
“Nonsense! You know how much I love spending time with you. So come on. Get in the car.” She nodded towards the empty seat, so I sighed and I got in. “It’ll be fun. You’ll see.”
I leaned my head back on the seat as she pulled away. “The last time somebody came in place of Jack was when Peter picked me up. And we all know how well that turned out.”
“This isn’t like that.” Mae shook her head. “Jack really wanted to see you. He just can’t right now.”
“What is he doing? Teaching Milo how to turn into a bat?” I mocked, and Mae scowled.
“A lot goes into being a vampire, you know,” she told me gravely. “Plus, he’s been helping Ezra with the business. He was supposed to fly out to Tokyo yesterday, but…” She shook her head, pursing her lips.
“But what?” I sat up straighter.
“Something must be different in your blood,” Mae exhaled, talking more to herself than me. “I don’t understand it. But something makes you both so eager to bond. Who was your father?”
I wrinkled my nose. “What does he have to do with anything?”
“I’m trying to understand your ancestry. I’m wondering if we’ve been looking at this all wrong. Maybe you weren’t meant for Peter. Maybe you were just meant to be a vampire.” Mae looked sad and faraway. “We’re a means to an end for you.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked. “An end to what?”
“You both bond so easily. It’s unlike anything we’ve ever encountered,” Mae said wearily.
“Milo’s super possessive of Jack, right?” I better just hurry up and resign myself to a life of mortal celibacy. “Jack kind of told me the other day.”
“These things take time.”
“Why is that the answer to everything?” I complained. “All I ever get from you guys is that everything takes time and everything’s complicated.”
“What else am I supposed to say?” Mae asked pointedly. “That this will never get better, no matter how much time we have? If that’s what you want to hear, I’ll be happy to tell you that.”
“If that’s the truth, then yeah, that’s what you should say,” I said.
“Of course that’s not the truth!” Mae rolled her eyes. “Alice, the only constant in life is that everything is always changing. And that’s a little scary, but it means that things can’t be bad or hard forever.”
“And they can’t be good or easy forever either,” I countered.
“You’ve just got to trust me on this one.” Mae turned to me, smiling. “I don’t know how yet, but things will end up the way they’re supposed to be.”
“Thanks for the blanket answer.”
“Let’s just forget about all of this,” Mae suggested. “We can have a girls' night. Just the two of us.”
“It’s after ten on a Tuesday. How much do you really think is open?” I asked.
“We’ll find something,” Mae insisted. “We’ll make do.”
We made do with a Wal-Mart that was open 24-hours, a Denny’s where she watched me eat, and a Blockbuster. We went back to my apartment, even though the whole point of the evening was supposed to be to get me out.
Mae had never been inside before, but she oohed and awed over all our second-hand junk like it was astounding. She painted my nails and played with my hair while we watched Silence of the Lambs. It was one of my favorite movies because it was so terrible, and I felt better knowing that I was forcing her to watch something so terrible.
And despite my best attempts to hate everything about the night, she did manage to cheer me up a little bit. Of course, that went away completely when she left, and I was alone again.
Chapter Ten
I couldn’t get out to his car fast enough.
When Jack texted me the next day and asked to hang out, I hated myself for getting so excited about it. Even though I felt ridiculous, I spent an hour preening.
I rushed outside, and Jack sat in the Jetta, grinning broadly. Pat Benatar blasted out when I opened the door. He turned it down when I hopped in, but I barely even cared.
We were alone for the first time in what felt like forever. Nobody growled at me or chastised us for being too close. I could just be with him.
Jack smiled. “Hey.”
“I don’t wanna go to your house.”
“Why not?” He cocked an eyebrow.
“Because.” I pulled my knee up to my chest and looked at him, refusing to elaborate on my answer. I expected him to drive away or press me further, but he just nodded.
He smirked. “Okay. Where do you wanna go?”
“I don’t care where. Just drive.”
“You got it.” His eyes glinted, and he sped away from my apartment.
The buildings were a blur of lights beside us, and he had this weird ability to weave through openings in traffic that weren’t even there.
“So… how’s life with Milo?” I asked cautiously.
I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to know, but I needed to know. I had to make sure Milo was okay, and I wanted to hear how Jack felt about it.
“Good,” Jack said noncommittally. “I like your brother. I like having him around.”
“I see,” I murmured.
“He’s already much better. Pretty soon you’ll be able to be around all the time. And I’m sure it will be All. The. Time. He really misses you too.” Jack looked over to see if I believed him, and I wasn’t sure that I did. “He talks about you a lot. He just isn’t always thrilled when I talk about you.”
“Really?” I raised an eyebrow. “You guys talk about me? What do you say?”
He laughed. My heart flipped happily, and I settled deeper into the seat.
“Nothing bad, if that’s what you’re getting at,” he said.
“I just wonder what you say about me when I’m not around.”
“What do you say about me when I’m not around?” Jack countered.
“Hasn’t Milo told you?” I figured that by now, Milo had spilled everything.
“Yeah, he has, because apparently, all you ever tell him is how unromantically you think of me.” He tried to play it off with a smile, but I saw the hurt behind his eyes. “So yeah. I got all the juicy details.”
“That’s not all I say.”
“So then what do you say?” Jack asked, watching me from the corner of his eyes.
“That you’re the most dashing, handsome stranger I’ve ever met,” I said with a dramatic Southern drawl and batted my eyes at him, making him laugh again. “No, I don’t know. I try not to say anything about you.”
“Why not?”
“Cause.” I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s hard to talk about you.”
“How is it hard?”
“Well… what am I supposed to say?”
“You’re supposed to say whatever you want.”
“Things are a little too complicated for me to say what I want,” I said finally.
I didn’t know what I felt for Jack because I wouldn’t let myself think about it. To quantify it as something would put expectations and shatter things. I liked being around him and I missed him when he wasn’t there, and that was as far as I was willing to admit.
“Fair enough.” He ran a hand through his sandy hair.
He turned to me, looking like he might say more, but his phone rang in his pocket and he cursed under his breath.
“Hello?” Jack answered his phone. “Yeah. Yeah... I’m with her now… Yeah… Yes… Okay… Yes… I get it… I got it… No. I’m fine… Yep… Okay… Okay… Bye.” He sighed as he hung up.
“What was that about?” I asked.
“We’re going to my house.”
“What? Why? Who was that?” I tensed up at the thought of his house. It suddenly felt like so much drama.
“Milo.” He pursed his lips. “He wants to see you.”
“Does he really? Or is he just against the idea of us being alone together?”
“Both, probably.”
“I’m a little offended actually.” I watched out the window at the changing scenery as Jack switched directions towards his house. “Peter never got this jealous over the time we spent together.”
“Yeah, well, Peter’s an idiot sometimes,” Jack grumbled.
“Have you heard from him lately?” I asked.
“Why are you asking about him?” Jack had very little tolerance for the sound of Peter’s name, but I wanted to know anyway.
I shrugged. “I can be curious, can’t I?”
“I’d prefer it if you weren’t,” he admitted wearily. When I didn’t say anything for a little bit, he continued, “You took the book.”
“Ezra said I could.”
“Is everything to your satisfaction?” he asked.
“It’s a book, Jack!” I didn’t even want to dignify it with a response. “What do you think is going to happen? I’m going to run off with it and leave you in the love triangle with my brother? It wouldn’t even be a triangle anymore. It would just be an angle.”
“An oblique angle,” Jack said, and his bout of jealousy was quickly replaced with glee. “Ha! I told you I would work that in!”
“What are you talking about?” I didn’t understand what he was getting at, but he grinned foolishly, so I was swept up in it.
“Remember? That time I took you to the concert after we first met?” His eyes danced. “And you asked what my angle was, and I said isosceles, but really I should’ve said oblique. And I said that I’d remember it for next time, and I did!”
“Wow.” I laughed.
At least we arrived at his house on a happy note. As soon as we walked inside, Matilda ran to greet us, and Milo followed her.
Seeing him was still an adjustment, and I wondered how long it would take me to get used to him. He walked like he was about to trip over his own feet but would elegantly catch himself. He was like Bambi learning to walk –all stumbles and a graceful bound.
“Hey.” Milo sounded out of breath and his smile was too bright.
He brushed his hair from his forehead, and he was even wearing it different now. It had always been just a basic guy cut, but he went for a more popular style.
“How are you?” Milo fidgeted with his sleeve. He did a weird head bob, and he reminded me of Mike Meyers from Wayne’s World. Was this Milo’s interpretation of cool?
“Good,” I answered unsurely. “You’re looking really… good. I like your hair.”
“Thanks.” He touched it self-consciously and blushed. It was a glimpse of cute Milo that made me miss him again. “Mae did it.”
“She loves hair,” I said.
“Yeah,” Milo agreed absently.
He looked over to Jack and rubbed the back of his head, and that’s when it finally dawned on me. He wanted to impress Jack. He lacked the ability to mask his crush, and he had no clue what to do with himself.
Newly gay, newly vampire, and barely old enough to drive.
I felt like the biggest bitch in the world for being irritated with him. Sure, he messed up my non-relationship with Jack, but he was just a scared, confused kid. He was going through a whole huge thing that I couldn’t help him with at all, and I should be happy he had someone like Jack to show him around.
“You guys have a nice drive?” Milo looked at Jack, and his eyes were hoping that we didn’t have too nice of a drive.
“It was fine,” Jack said.
He chewed the inside of his cheek, growing uncomfortable with the way Milo looked at him, but I think that was for my benefit. Ordinarily, I’m sure he would brush off Milo’s adoring gaze, but with me there, it felt… well, everything just felt really, really awkward.
“So, while you were gone I totally found that thing and I got to the next level,” Milo announced randomly, and it took me a second to realize he was talking about some video game.
“Oh, yeah, really?” Jack looked impressed, which was a bit too much for Milo.
“Yeah!” Milo beamed. “Here, I’ll show you!”
With that, he reached out and took Jack’s hand to drag him off to the living room. The gesture was probably meant to be flirtatious in some way, but it only succeeded in making him look more like a little boy.
“I’m going to go check out the game.” Jack shot me an apologetic smile as Milo pulled him away.
Once they were gone, I took a deep breath. Things were weird, but Milo’s still Milo, Jack’s still Jack, and pretty soon we’ll have this all sorted out. Soon. That’s what I have to believe.
