Fate: Updated Edition, page 12
“Well, that was fun,” Milo sighed as he leaned back in the seat.
“I am so sorry.” Jack started the car and wouldn’t look at me. “I should’ve known better.”
“It’s okay,” I reassured him. “Everybody’s okay. And it was a really interesting night. I learned a couple things, and that’s something.”
“There’s easier ways to learn,” Jack said.
“I had a blast!” Milo said. “I mean, until the whole Alice-almost-getting-slaughtered thing. That wasn’t fun. But the running away kind of was. I felt like Tom Cruise.”
It was such a 180 from how Milo used to be. Everything I did used to make him nervous and scared, but I had almost been murdered, and he made jokes on the ride home. He was still sweet and geeky, but he’d lost his insecurities and paranoia.
“At least you wore your pajamas here,” Jack said as we got closer to his house.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because you’re spending the night.” He swallowed hard. “I just want you there tonight. Okay?”
“Okay,” I said, because he didn’t need to convince me.
As soon as we got home, we filled Mae in about what had happened. She lectured Jack about his careless behavior, then she’d wept over what could’ve befallen me and held me close.
Eventually, everyone just showered and went to bed. I don’t know how they all faired at sleeping, but I did terrible. Maybe it was the adrenaline of the night, or all the new questions I had swirling in my head.
Milo slept in his room next door so I was careful to tiptoe out. His hearing had greatly improved, and he found it distracting to sleep, so he had a white noise machine in his room anyway.
Even though it was after seven in the morning, every shade in the house was drawn so no natural light could sneak in. Everything was submerged in darkness, except for Jack’s room, which they had outfitted with a night light for me.
I maneuvered the stairs without making a sound, but I stubbed my toe three times. I couldn’t make it farther without help, so I flicked on the kitchen light at the bottom of the steps, and I went into the living room.
The dim light didn’t faze Jack, who lay curled up on the couch underneath a dark comforter. Matilda slept on the floor next to him, and she lifted her head and thumped her tail when I came into the room.
“Jack?” I whispered. “Jack?”
“What?” Jack mumbled, then he opened his eyes and looked at me. “Alice? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine.” I sat down at the end of the couch, by his feet. “I just couldn’t sleep.”
“What’s going on?”
I leaned back on the couch, pulling my knees up to my chest. “I don’t know.”
“Is it about what happened tonight?” Jack asked, and I didn’t immediately answer. “Alice, you don’t need to be afraid. They would never hurt you, not outside of that club, and we’re never going back there.”
“No, it’s not that,” I shook my head. “I’m not scared. I mean, not about that. I know you and Milo would never let anything happen, and they seemed like losers anyway.”
“They were,” Jack agreed. “What are you scared of then?”
I tried to sort out what I wanted to say. “Maybe scared isn’t the right word. I just…. Did you know them? Did you know any of the vampires down there?”
“No, I don’t think so. I’ve seen some around, but I’m not acquainted with any of them. I’m not really into that scene.” He propped himself up more, and even in the darkness, I could see the worry and confusion on his face. “What are you trying to find out?”
“All the vampires down there were just so… attractive. Olivia’s like a goddess, and even Violet with her ridiculous behaviors was still very pretty.”
“Oh, come on.” He rolled his eyes as he connected the dots. “Violet was full of shit. I never hooked up with her. I’ve seen her around there before, but I don’t think we’ve even spoken before tonight.”
“I believe you,” I admitted, and I shivered a little, since my shorts and tank top weren’t enough to combat the chill of their house.
“Take some of the covers.” He pushed some at me with his feet, and I scooted closer to him so I could snuggle underneath his blankets. When I felt his leg brush against my thigh, I decided I’d moved close enough.
“This is why I don’t wear these pajamas here.”
“That’s what they made blankets for.”
“What do you use blankets for anyway?” I asked, and he laughed. “No, I mean, you guys love it cold. Why do you need to cover up?”
“Force of habit, I guess.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. I never really thought about it. I only do it when I go to bed. Why? Does it bother you?”
“Why would it bother me?”
“I don’t know.” Jack sighed. “What is bothering you about tonight?”
I decided just to spit it out. “Did you sleep with any of them?”
“That’s what you’re getting at?”
“Yeah. I mean… you’re still… you still… I don’t know,” I stammered and blushed, and I buried myself further under the covers, wishing I could disappear completely. “Do vampires even have sex?”
Jack laughed, and he sat up a little. “We do. I have, yes. Both as a human and as a vampire, although probably not as much as you’re thinking.”
“I don’t know how much I’m thinking,” I admitted. My mind vacillated somewhere between one and a million, but none of the numbers sounded right.
“Do you actually wanna have this conversation?” He looked at me earnestly. “I’m willing to, if you are, but… do you actually wanna talk about this?”
“I don’t know anything about your relationship history at all, and I’d like to,” I said, peering at him over the top of the blankets.
“You just look so terrified by it.”
“Cause I don’t know what I’ll find out.” My eyes met his for a moment before I dropped them.
“It’s not bad,” he said, but the pit in my stomach only seemed to grow.
“Well… how about a ballpark figure?” I asked.
“Oh,” Jack groaned. “I don’t know about that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s misleading.”
“Misleading?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Fine.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “The thing is, I dated this girl from the time I was 14 until I was 20. I mean, she was the only girl I was with for all of high school. After we broke up, I went out with one other girl for like four months, and that’s it. I mean, as a mortal guy, I had tons of girls that were friends, but I dated very little. So, two girls as a human. That’s it.”
“And then?” I asked nervously.
“When I turned… suddenly hot girls wanted me, and even some hot vampires, which you know, when you’re new to this, vampires look really hot.” He scratched at his head and shifted uneasily.
“You know how we said that in the beginning, you’re hungrier than normal? Like Milo thinks he needs to eat every hour when he really doesn’t? And all your emotions are right at the top? Well… so…” He trailed off and shook his head. “That’s not who I am now. That was just me coming to terms with being a vampire, and being cool and sexy in a way I never was before. So I slept with maybe twenty people the first year I turned, but it’s been hardly any since then.”
“Oh.” I wrapped my arms tightly around myself and I didn’t meet his gaze. “So… did you… have you actually had relationships since you turned?”
“Kinda, once,” Jack said. “A couple years ago. But other than that, for the past fourteen years, I’ve been celibate.”
“Why?” I asked. “You spent a year or so playing as a vampire playboy, but then you stopped. How come?”
“It was boring. It wasn’t who I was, and it didn’t feel right,” he said. “What about you? What’s your story?”
“I don’t have a story,” I said, and he laughed. “What? I don’t.”
“Really?” Jack gave me a stern look. “Cause I’m pretty sure I just picked you up the other night, and you had been making out with some guy.”
“Well, that’s it. That’s all there is to tell.”
I grimaced at the thought of it and felt even worse talking about it sober. Regardless of what our actual status was, it felt like cheating, and it was stupid and pointless.
“That’s the only time you’ve ever kissed a guy? I mean, other than me… or Peter.” He was dubious, and my hesitation made him nervous, but he didn’t understand that there really wasn’t anything to tell.
“No, I’ve kissed guys before,” I admitted. “But everything is exactly the same. I’d go to some party with Jane, and I’d make out with a guy for a bit. The end.”
“Really?” He had moved on from skeptical to bewildered.
“Why is that so hard to believe?”
“I don’t know.” He settled back into the couch again, furrowing his brow. “I guess I must just be impartial.”
“What are you talking about?” I turned to face him more, gently pressing my knee into his leg as I did.
“Well…” Jack laughed nervously, but that didn’t affect how perfect it sounded, or the way it sent happy shivers down me. “Like tonight, when you walked into that room, everybody turned and stared. You’re kind of irresistible.”
“That’s different,” I said. “That’s just because of my blood.”
No sooner had the words fallen out of my mouth then a painful realization gripped me. My heart ached and the color drained from my face.
“What?” he asked and moved closer.
“It’s my blood.” I bit the inside of my cheek as I worked it out in my head. “That’s it, isn’t it? That’s why you’re…”
Jack was attracted to me for the same reason Peter was, but on an entirely different level. And unlike Peter, who should feel bonded to me no matter what, Jack’s would all but disappear when I turned. My blood would stop smelling so sweet, and all my appeal would disappear.
“No.” Jack was offended. “No. Your blood has nothing to do with how I feel about you.”
“I walked into a room full of gorgeous people, and they all turned to look at me, plain, ordinary me.” An awful lump swelled in my throat, making it difficult to talk. “The only thing that makes me irresistible to them, to you, is my blood.”
He sat up. “Okay, fine, you want the truth? Yes! The vampire in me does want the blood in you, more than you can ever imagine.
“But if that was it, if that was all this was, then I would’ve just bitten you a long time ago, or I would’ve moved on and forgotten about you. I’ve been hungry before. I’ve tasted things better than you, okay? You might be a fine wine in the vampire realm, but you’re not the only one and you’re certainly not the finest on the shelf.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better? Because it’s really not,” I muttered.
“No, I’m saying your blood isn’t that amazing,” he clarified. “It’s not the only thing binding me to you. If it were, then I wouldn’t want you to turn so bad, and I cannot wait for you to turn. You — not your blood — are amazing.”
“You really can’t wait for me turn?” I asked him hopefully.
“Are you kidding?” Jack laughed. “I’m dying to kiss you.”
“Humans are capable of kissing just as much as you are,” I reminded him.
He placed his hand on my face, resting his thumb on my cheek, and leaned in to kiss me. I’m sure it was supposed to be a sweet, short kiss, but whenever he touched me, it ignited something inside me I couldn’t control. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him greedily, and I loved the frantic feel of his tongue against mine.
Wonderful hot tingles spread through me and my stomach fluttered. He sat back on the couch, and I moved onto his lap so I straddled him. His hands searched all over me, smoldering against my skin.
He kissed me so desperately, as if he was terrified to stop. I dug my fingers into his hair, pulling him as close to me as I possibly could.
I stopped kissing him just long enough for me to pull his shirt off, and I pressed my mouth to his before either of us could think about it.
My mind became a delirious fog, and I realized we could be closer still. With him, there were more ways than one, and both of them sounded too tantalizing to pass up. The way his lips touched my neck, I knew which one he wanted the most.
Chapter Fifteen
“Sorry to interrupt, but I thought I’d let you know I was home.” Ezra’s deep voice filled the room, making my heart stop. I looked over my shoulder to see him standing in the doorway to the living room.
“Oh, shit,” Jack groaned.
We had stopped kissing, and he let me slide off his lap. He wrapped the blanket around us both and kept an arm around me. I buried my face in his shoulder and tried to hide under the covers.
“Are you hell bent on getting her killed?” Ezra asked wearily.
Jack dropped his eyes to the floor instead of answering, and Ezra flicked on the living room lights. He went over and sat in the chair opposite from us. Leaning back, he crossed his leg over his knee.
“Well?” Ezra looked at us expectantly.
“What?” Jack asked.
“I’m waiting for you to explain what is going on with you.” Ezra rested a hand on his chin, looking at Jack solemnly. “What do you think you’re doing with all of this?”
“I-I don’t know,” Jack stumbled and rubbed the back of his neck. “I wasn’t really thinking. We were just having fun.”
“That’s your answer for this and for taking her to the club?” Ezra asked, and Jack nodded. “I see.”
“This wasn’t—” Jack gestured to me but then floundered. “It wasn’t anything. I mean, it was under control.”
“Jack, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you don’t seem to ever be in control of matters that involve Alice,” Ezra told him dryly. “Honestly, what do you think would’ve happened if I hadn’t walked in? Do you think you’d be able to stop yourself?”
Jack flinched and pulled away from me. “I screwed up. I get it. I always screw up. You don’t need to rub it in.”
“That’s what you think I’m doing?” Ezra sounded offended. “I am trying to keep you both alive.”
“I keep her safe,” Jack said defensively.
“A vampire club? Jack, really?” Ezra raised an eyebrow and shook his head. “Did you forget what happened when you were human? You nearly died. Vampires may try very hard to live a civilized life, but you know what we’re capable of.”
“Milo just wanted to check it out, and Alice wanted to get out and do something fun,” Jack shifted, and by now, he wasn’t touching me at all. Several inches of cold distance sat between us. “I’d been there before, and people go there all the time and they’re fine.”
“It takes so little to take it all away,” Ezra said quietly. “She is so fragile.”
“Then why can’t we just turn her?” Jack asked. “Then nobody would have to worry about me accidentally killing her.”
“You know I can’t do that right now,” Ezra rubbed his eyes tiredly.
“Why not?” Jack demanded.
“Milo is too young. Young vampires are far too dangerous,” Ezra said. “We require proper guidance to keep us from turning into something horrendous. Morals and restraint are imperative to our survival. We have the power and strength to destroy everything if we don’t live in quiet moderation.”
“But we’re all here!” Jack insisted in frustration. “There’s three of us here to the two of them. We’d be fine!”
“You say that because this is what you were born into,” Ezra said with a mixture of affection and fatigue. “We were always stable and supportive and calm. You don’t know what it’s like when there are too many vampires and not enough leadership. You’ve led a very privileged life, and you’re taking that for granted.”
“It’s just two more vampires,” Jack said indignantly.
“It just takes one, Jack!” Ezra raised his voice, and I winced. “I’ve seen what it does, and I don’t want that for us.”
“But…” I said meekly, peering at him from over the top of the blankets. “Just because it happened somewhere else doesn’t mean it’ll happen here.”
“I’m sure Mae has told you of the unique position you are in.” Ezra rested his deep brown eyes on me. “You are one of the few that has a choice in this life. The rest of us were forced into it.”
“She did tell me that, yes,” I said.
“She also told you of the family she left behind, and how difficult that was.” Ezra rested his elbow on the arm of his chair and propped his head up. “But she told you nothing of my family or where I came from. Correct?”
“I think she said you were from England, but that’s it.” I looked to Jack for help, but he just watched Ezra intently as he spoke. There was something very captivating in the way Ezra talked, even to other vampires.
“I was born just outside of London in 1674,” Ezra said. “By the time I was fifteen, both my parents and two of my brothers had already died, leaving me in charge of my seven-year-old sister and the family farm. We managed to do quite well for ourselves, and I was able to support a family. I married at seventeen and went on to have four children of my own.”
“You had kids?” I asked in surprise.
“Two boys and two girls.” His lips touched on a smile that quickly faded. “We lived a quiet happy life, but unfortunately, the skills that made my family thrive made me appealing to others. I was strong, hard-working, and diligent.
“A man called upon our house one night asking for dinner and board for the evening in exchange for money. Because of where we lived in the country, it wasn’t uncommon for weary travelers to take respite with us. My sister especially enjoyed it. She was at the marrying age and had yet to find a suitor.
“The man introduced himself as Willem, and he appeared wealthy and attractive, so I sent my sister to tend to him, in hopes that he would consider her.” He lowered his eyes, thinking heavily on the memory, and then shook his head.
“He stayed in the back room of the house, and he mentioned he was hungry. I sent my sister back with a bowl of soup, and when she didn’t return, I went back to check on her.” Ezra paused. “Willem stood in front of the window, staring at the black night, while my sister lay motionless on the floor. He drained all the life from her.
