Rocked Senseless: A Stand-Alone Rock Star Romance, page 10
“Stop perving on me in my sleep, weirdo,” Logan mumbles, his voice deep and rough.
My cheeks burn red hot. “Dick. You could have let me know you were awake.”
His eyes open, and his chuckle melts my insides. “I wanted to see what you would do if you woke up first.” I watch his smile fade. “To be completely honest, I was listening for signs of regret.”
I shake my head. “None in the slightest.”
He grins. “Good.” Logan pulls me into his embrace and kisses me. My heart surges with emotion, and for once, I don’t fight it. It feels so good to be held and kissed by him. I never want it to end.
Logan holds my chin between his thumb and forefinger and whispers, “Just so you know, I don’t regret it either.”
“Of course you don’t, you lucky bastard.” I smile playfully and run my palm down to cup his hard, round ass. “You came five times last night.”
“You came seven times,” Logan protests, defending his honor. “If anyone should not regret last night, it’s you.”
“Yeah, but multiple orgasms are way less common for men.” I blush. “I’m sorry I tried to hump you like a dog. I’m usually not like that, I promise.”
“As long as you’re rubbing that sweet pussy on me, I don’t care if you’re dressed like a dog.”
I screw up my face in disgust. “Ugh. Please tell me you’re not one of those.”
Logan throws back his head and laughs. I watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down, transfixed by his strong neck. I lean forward and lick it, loving my newfound freedom to do whatever I want to his god-like body. When he groans with pleasure, his neck vibrates underneath my lips and tongue.
“Fuck . . . ” Logan runs his hands down my sides to squeeze my ass cheeks as I bite down on him, hard enough to hurt but not hard enough to break the skin. “No, I’m not ‘one of those.’ I find it interesting you knew what I was talking about, though.”
I snicker. “Guess I’m just a dirty girl.”
“My dirty girl,” Logan corrects me. I lean back to look at him, and we burst into equally big smiles.
“Not yet,” I say, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. I would love to continue this, but my body needs a break from the insane number of orgasms I just had. As I talk to him, I begin my quest to reclaim the clothes I was wearing last night. “First, you have to talk to Celeste.”
Groaning, Logan falls back on the pillow. “Can’t you and I just start over on a deserted island somewhere instead?”
I smile. “Tempting, but no.” I gather the last of my garments and toss them into the front pocket of my suitcase.
Logan watches me slide on a new shirt and a pair of shorts. “Damn. You’re even sexy when you’re putting clothes on.”
I give him a lusty look. “The sooner you break it off with the she-demon, the sooner you can watch them come off again.”
We stand at the bottom of the escalator in the airport, hesitant to say our goodbyes. Dad and Cass are hesitant because they don’t know when they’ll see me again. I’m hesitant because I don’t know if I can trust them not to go galloping off into the sunset the minute I leave, abandoning poor Nana.
When Dad pulls me into a tight hug, I return his embrace stiffly. “You promise you’ll stay with her for the next four weeks until her doctor’s appointment?”
Dad pulls away from me and holds his worn, bronze hand up. “On my honor.” I lift an eyebrow in doubt. “I’m serious! I know you think I’m an irresponsible jackass, and I am. But I would never abandon my own mother when she has no one else to turn to.”
I roll my eyes,. “You’d better not, or I’m tracking your sorry ass down.”
Dad moves closer to me and turns me away from Cass and Logan. He leans down to whisper in my ear. “Listen, I just want you to know I’m proud of you.”
My eyes and nose start to sting. “What?”
“I mean it.” Dad squeezes my shoulders and kisses my temple. “You’re such a good, responsible girl, and you’ve gone further with your career in one tour than I have in decades. Nana deserves all the credit in the world for you. I can’t wait to see how far you can go.”
I turn toward my wayward father and see the sparkle in his eyes. He means every word. I may not have learned much from him, but my optimistic spirit and ‘never say die’ attitude are definitely his. “Thanks, Daddy.” I push up on my tiptoes and kiss his weathered cheek.
Dad joins Cass again and puts his arm around her shoulder. They wave to us as we step onto the escalator. I glance up at Logan and marvel at how similar I turned out to my dad, without even realizing it.
We’re both musicians, we’re both dreamers to a fault, and we both fell in love with our best friends.
Whoa, in love? Rewind. Rewind allllll the way.
I’m in strong like with my best friend. That, I’m a lot more comfortable with.
Mortal dread coils my stomach as I drive up to the modern loft apartment complex. I don’t know what to expect when I walk through these doors. She could be hurt, angry, vicious . . . whatever the case, it won’t be good.
I step out of my black BMW and smile as I glance into the passenger seat before closing the door. Before we left the airport, Madison and I had one more impassioned makeout session in my car. She looked so beautiful, flushed, and happy afterwards, I almost couldn’t bear to leave her.
The plane ride back to Los Angeles was so much different than the one to Greenville a couple of weeks before. Instead of cuddling into me and falling asleep, like she usually does, Madison stayed awake to talk to me. We had a lot more to talk about this time, mostly our love for each other’s bodies. She ran her black manicured fingernails up and down my arms, teasing me with a hint of what’s to come when I meet her at a club later tonight.
It’s a little easier walking into hell on earth knowing I have heaven to return to when I’m done.
I ride the elevator up to the top floor to the penthouse apartment I share with Celeste. My only regret about breaking up with her is that I’m going to have to leave this place. It has a beautiful view of downtown Los Angeles, which gets me inspired to write lyrics faster than any view I’ve ever seen. I’m going to miss it, but it would be better to live in a cardboard box than with this heartless, poor excuse for a human. I’ve got to end things, and I’ve got to do it now.
I rap sharply on the door, and Celeste answers in a fluffy white robe, keeping the chain lock secured. She sees me and her gaze turns to solid ice.
“Back early from your little romp in the hay with the country girl?”
Her words light a fire underneath me. “Fuck your accusations, Celeste. I know you’ve been seeing Henri or whatever his name is. Give it up. You can’t pull this possessive bullshit on me anymore.”
She sucks in an affected gasp. “How dare you accuse me of—”
“Where is he?” I try to see around her inside the apartment. “Huh? Where’s your little French boy-toy?”
“Who is that, mon cherie?” A deep male voice calls out from deep within the apartment. Celeste’s face washes ashen.
I lower my voice to sound as menacing as possible. “Let me in.”
“No, I don’t want a fight in here.”
“Too fucking late. Move, or I’m breaking down the goddamn door.”
“Stop being a Neanderthal, Logan,” Celeste barks.
I pound the door with my fist. Startled, Celeste closes the door and unhooks the chain lock. I charge into the apartment like a bull seeing red. When I reach the bedroom, I see a naked blond man clutching sheets to his chest as if he has something to hide.
“Get the fuck out!” My bellow scares him shitless. Little French Boy pulls the sheet around his body and shuffles out of the room, grabbing clothes on his way. I make a move toward him, and he stumbles out the open front door.
Slamming the door behind him, I fight to compose myself. This is the angriest I’ve ever been.
“How dare you, Celeste?”
“Excuse me?” she squeaks defensively. “What about you? All you do is spend time with Madison. You completely ignored me while you were touring. What was I supposed to think?”
I brace myself on the door frame, trying to control my trembling limbs. She’s not all wrong. I did fail to keep in touch with her as well as I should have on the tour, but to be fair, this relationship has been on the rocks ever since she recorded Madison singing and we got a record deal out of it.
She has never been the woman for me. That’s always been Madison. I can see that clearly now.
I turn around, sighing deeply, and look into her blue-gray eyes. “Look, I don’t want to fight. I just came here to tell you this is over and to get my things.”
To my surprise, her eyes fill up with tears. “So that’s it then? You’re just going to leave me for her?”
I make a concerted effort to harden my bleeding heart. Those crocodile tears used to work on me. I would have done anything for her. Now? I wouldn’t save her ass from oncoming traffic.
“You made that decision for me, Celeste. It’s true that I have feelings for my best friend. I’m not going to deny that. But I didn’t make a fool out of you in front of the entire nation like you did me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a couple of hours alone to pack.”
Celeste’s gaze darkens. “If you break up with me, I’ll squash your chances of making it big with Malodie forever.”
Her words leave me stunned. I swallow hard. “You can’t be serious.”
“Dead serious.” Celeste’s wicked smile curls her pretty red lips. She closes the distance between us, coming within a breath of my lips. “My Daddy does whatever his princess wants. If you say goodbye to me, the only thing I’m going to be gunning for is your swift and quiet demise. We have friends in high places, Logan. You know this from experience. No one will ever give you a record deal again once they hear how you broke my heart and trashed my reputation. You want your precious ‘Cricket’ to have the career she’s always dreamed of? Your ass is staying right here, and you’re going to pretend those tabloid articles about Henri and me were just nasty rumors. Capiche?”
My breathing grows ragged. “Why would you do this? Do you really want a boyfriend who doesn’t want to be with you?”
“Cheating with a nobody French model and then getting dumped by my nobody boyfriend would not be good for my image.” Celeste shrugs. “It’s just damage control, really.”
“Control” is right.
I stand in silence for a moment to consider the options. I could break up with Celeste and lose our chance at a future with Norman Records, which would make my bandmates hate me forever, or I could stay with Celeste, which would break Madison’s heart.
Then again, Madison and I haven’t even talked about our relationship. Who’s to say what she really wants? We’ve worked toward having a successful rock band for a decade and a half. We’ve only slept together once.
Either way, she’s going to get hurt because of my relationship with Celeste, again.
“I need some air,” I mutter, opening the front door and stepping out into the hallway.
It’s a no-win situation, and I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.
“I’m so happy for you!” Ana throws her arms around me, almost making me spill my mai tai.
I chuckle and set my drink down on the bar. “Easy there, girl. Nothing is worth spilling alcohol over.”
“Too right.” Ana smiles at the hot bartender, Slater, whom she’s now been on a few dates with. They seem to be really hitting it off. ”Another round for my bestie, on me.”
“Coming right up,” he says with a wink.
“Aw, you guys are too cute,” I gush.
“Yeah, I think I may have finally found a decent guy.” Ana smiles widely. She holds up her Cosmo in a toast. “Cheers to a new chapter free of cheating douchebags.”
“Hear, hear.” I clink glasses with hers and swallow down the rest of my drink. After setting my empty glass on the bar, I reach into my wristlet to glance at my phone. I’ve been watching it the whole night, waiting for Logan to text me, call me, anything to let me know he’s broken up with Celeste and he’s on his way over.
“It’s already ten p.m., Ana. I hope nothing went wrong. Should I call him?”
Ana cringes. “Do you really want to get in the middle of that massacre?”
“Yeah, you’re right.” I nod. “I’m sure he’ll call me soon.”
Ana and I finish our second round of drinks and go out to the dance floor. It’s nice to be able to dance and cut loose with my best girlfriend without worrying about trying to find a hookup. We’re just two silly girls swinging our hips and enjoying the prime of our lives. From now on, Logan will be the boyfriend and Ana will be the best friend, just as it should be.
I’m on top of the world. Life can’t possibly get any better than this.
Finally, I feel my wristlet buzz. I excuse myself to go outside and take the call from Logan.
Grinning, I answer the phone. “Hey, hot stuff.”
“Hey, Mads. So, listen . . . Celeste and I didn’t break up.”
I’m stunned speechless for a long moment. Finally, I manage to push words past my lips. “What? Why?”
Logan sighs. “She told me she only cheated because she knew what you and I had together. I’m going to give her another chance.”
Stunned, I stammer, “Are you serious? You believe she’s telling the truth?”
Logan hesitates. “Yeah, I’m serious.”
“Logan, no. Please. It’s just another one of her games,” I protest as my heart falls to pieces in my chest. “She’s going to continue cheating on you now because she thinks she can get away with it. Celeste has you right where she wants you.” I know from experience.
“That’s a chance I’m going to have to take. Also, considering what happened, and the fact that my relationship is on the rocks because of us, I think we should spend some time apart. We can see each other for band practice, but that’s it. Is that okay?”
My heart flatlines. “Fine by me.”
My raw, bloodshot eyes try to focus on the liquor bottles in front of me. I can’t make out any of their names. Even with the four—five?—drinks I’ve had in the past hour, I can still feel the gaping hole Logan left in my heart.
“Another,” I mutter. “Make it a shot of straight gin this time.”
Ana places a hand on my arm as if to prevent me from making a grave mistake. “Just get her an ice water, Slater. I don’t think she can handle anything else right now.”
“No problem,” Slater says. The pity in his eyes makes me want to throw my little umbrella at him. He turns around to pour me a boring, alcohol-less ice water.
Ana slips her arm around my shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Mads. I can’t believe Logan did that to you after all the years you’ve been friends. You must be devastated.”
“I’m fine,” I say flatly, twirling my little black straw in yet another empty glass. “Fit as a fucking fiddle.”
Ana rubs circles into my back. “You don’t have to fake being okay with this. I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak, hon. I don’t judge.”
“Whatever.” I dig in my wristlet for my lipstick, and instead I pull out a small orange prescription bottle. I didn’t use all my oxycodone pills from when I hit my head, so I have some leftover. I forgot all about them until now. A dark chuckle oozes out of me. “Hey Ana, do you think these treat emotional pain?”
She deftly plucks the pill bottle from my fingers. “I think we need to flush these. You’re in no condition to be taking oxycodone right now.” Ana tucks the bottle into her own purse.
I groan. “Party pooper.” I stagger to my feet. “I need to dance.”
Ana stays in her stool. “Don’t you want to talk more about what happened?”
“Hell no,” I protest loudly. “I’ve done enough talking and reading journals and emotional bullshit. I just wanna dance and fuck.”
The world spins and teeters around me. Ana crosses the distance between us, reaching out to steady me. “Maybe we should get you home.”
My eyes spark with pain. I pull away from her, sick of being in a cage and conforming to expectations. “I don’t have a home anymore. I don’t have anything. I’m just a face in the crowd, and I want to stay that way.”
I try to stagger out toward the dance floor again, but Ana pulls me back and leads me toward the exit. I surrender to her vise grip around my wrist and blink back tears.
I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to go home and think about it.
I just want to drown in my tears and booze and forget about Logan Young forever.
My heartbeat pounds in my ears. I rub my dried-up eyes and look around. I’m back in my loft bedroom, alone. Sunlight pours in through the window beside me. I scan the band posters on my wall and try to get my bearings.
What happened last night?
The last thing I remember is Logan calling me to tell me he chose Celeste over me.
My head, heart, and stomach all churn at the same time.
I cover my mouth and make a mad dash to the bathroom. Throwing the toilet lid up, I barely have time to pull my hair out of the way before my body rejects every last drop of liquid I drank last night. I heave and cough out the poison, the liquid mingling with my tears as they pour down my cheeks.
I feel so weak and stupid crying over a hookup that should never have even happened. Of course, Logan chose Celeste. She’s Celeste Norman. She’s gorgeous, rich, and famous enough to forgive for any sin.
Why did I let myself hope for anything more? I’ve had my heart crushed in the past. I should have known better.
I lean on the toilet seat after my stomach is done convulsing and let the tears flow freely. My heart throbs in pain. It’s so severe, I don’t know how I’m going to live through it.
I had no idea my feelings for him ran this deep. I’m royally fucked.
The door to the bathroom opens, and sweet Ana comes in and sits down beside me, rubbing my back and handing me a warm, wet washcloth to wipe my face. “Are you okay?”
