Calumet, page 28
time. It made her buck her hips and grab Jax’s hair. The
move seemed to give Jax a hint about what she wanted, and
she pulled out and slammed her fingers back in. She had a
death grip on Jaxon’s head, but it didn’t stop her from giving
her what she wanted.
“Jesus,” she said when Jax sucked harder. The fast pace
was what she needed even if it meant the end would come
way too soon. “That’s so good.” She put her feet on Jax’s
shoulders, knowing she couldn’t hold out that much longer.
“Yes…yes…ah, ah…yes.” She had to pull Jax’s head away
from her sex after the orgasm made her supersensitive.
“If I haven’t mentioned it, I missed you.” Jaxon came up
and kissed her forehead.
“Thank God I fell in love with a Southerner who knows
the meaning of hospitality,” she said, teasing. “Your
welcome wagon is the true meaning of satisfaction, babe.”
“Let’s hope Birdie is a heavy sleeper, or we might have
to stay at a hotel next time.”
“Your grandmother wants you to have children for her to
spoil, so I’m sure she’s rooting for you.” She put her arms
around Jax’s neck when she lay pressed up against her.
“I get you pregnant before I marry you, and I doubt I’d
live to see Junior born,” Jax said and laughed. That stopped
when Margot kissed her, then bit her lip.
“You give Daddy a boy, and he’ll forgive you anything.”
“You give your dad a girl, and he’ll be thrilled.”
That Jaxon didn’t balk at the idea made her wish she was
pregnant already. It might be one way of getting her down
the aisle. One step at a time, she reminded herself as she
slid down Jax’s body “You’re right—it’s not the time to talk
about my father.” She knelt between Jax’s legs and smiled.
“I believe you really did miss me.”
She put her mouth on Jax before she had a chance to say
anything else, and the grunt she got from flicking her
tongue over Jax’s hard clit made her want to laugh. If there
was one thing Jax was not, it was talkative in bed.
Sometimes, though, her silence said volumes.
“Son of a bitch,” Jax said as her whole body tensed and
then released as she threw her head back.
“Is that the first time you did this in here?” she asked.
“And it’s perfectly okay to lie to me right now if it’s not.” She
moved back up into the circle of Jax’s embrace.
“You’re the first, love. Believe me, Birdie was tough when
I was growing up, and it’s nice that she kept all this stuff. I
like knowing there’s a place I can return to that’s familiar if I
ever do want to come here again.”
“It’s home, baby.” She lay half on Jax and pointed to all
the trophies. “She’s proud of you and always has been.”
“My home is with you. It’s a little fancier than I would’ve
imagined for myself, but I’m happy.”
“It’s okay to have two places to call home, and don’t
worry. I’m not letting you go anywhere. Now kiss me and go
to sleep. You’ll need to be well-rested to face all the teasing
we’ll be getting in the morning.”
“Thanks for talking me into this. You were right, and
while my parents haven’t changed their minds, it’s time to
move on.”
“Good. I don’t want to share you with bad memories
anymore.”
She pressed her cheek to Jaxon’s shoulder and relaxed
against her, relieved that Jaxon was in a good headspace.
When Bert had called her and given her a rundown about
the old girlfriend, and her Jaxon-clone kid, she’d been
worried. Well, not worried really, but a little jealous, if she
was honest. It was irrational, but she loved Jaxon and
wanted to think their life together had trumped anything
that’d happened before and could come in the future.
She’d also feared that Jaxon would come back and figure
it was where she belonged. That too was irrational, but the
heart had a way of overriding the brain and making you
stupid about things. All those insecurities had died the
second she’d seen Jaxon’s face when she’d walked into the
room. She closed her eyes, sure about her place and that
Jaxon would always be there. This spot was hers and hers
alone.
* * *
The next morning Jaxon got up and covered Margot
before she sat on the window seat and looked out at the
cane fields shrouded in fog. The crop still had a few months
before the large harvesting machines would chop the cane
for the mill that was about ten miles from here. In Jax’s
opinion, this time of year was when the land was the most
beautiful. The cane was large enough to blow like those air
gizmos they put in front of car dealerships and the like. The
fields resembled a million arms in the air, saying Hey, look
over here.
She remembered the last time she’d sat on this seat and
looked out at the same scene. Her graduation from LSU
would come after one more summer session, and she found
nothing comforting in the scenery or anything in her life.
Birdie was the only person who’d kept her from floating
away on a wave of despair. Life had changed so much in
that short period of time, and she was glad to have grown
as a person and was lucky enough not only to have a job
she loved, but to have found Margot.
The feel of Margot’s arms around her neck made her
smile, and she leaned back to make room for her on her lap.
“Good morning,” Margot said, her voice thick with sleep.
“Why are you up so early?”
“The ghosts in this town won’t let me sleep long.”
Margot opened Jax’s robe and wrapped the edges around
her naked body. “If I asked nicely, would you tell me a
story?”
“What would you like to know?” She kissed Margot’s
temple and rubbed her abdomen.
“Why would Roy agree to sleep with Iris if you said they
didn’t get along?”
She shrugged. “I’m not sure how to answer that one. Roy
was never jealous of me, and he really didn’t like Iris all that
much. At least, that’s what he told me. Back then I guess I
was wrapped up in Iris and what was going on with me. If he
had some hidden grudge or crush or whatever, he buried it
deep enough that I never noticed.”
“You need to talk to him, but you need to feed me first.
Now, please tell me you have a bathroom around here
somewhere. I’d like not to run into your grandmother before
we take a shower.”
“I’m sure Birdie’s been up for hours waiting on us.” She
heard a car outside and saw Eugenia pulling in. “Thanks for
asking, and for listening.”
“There’s plenty more I want to know, and you have to
believe I want to hear all about little Jaxon Lavigne’s
formative years.” Margot kissed her and whispered her love
in her ear. “All I want is for you to stop blaming yourself for
things that aren’t your fault.”
Jax smiled. “You know, I think I can finally do that. Thanks
to you and Bert badgering me to come here.”
“Come on and take a shower with me. After breakfast I
want a tour.” Margot stood up, and the sight of her made Jax
want to go back to bed.
“Are you sure? I’m sure I can find some quiet place for us
to have lunch.” She reached up and placed her hands on
Margot’s hips. “Better yet, we can pack up after breakfast
and drive to New Orleans. I’m sure Tully and Libby would
love to see you.”
“I don’t think so. That does sound tempting, but I’ve
already talked to Libby, and she knows as soon as I go on
hiatus we’ll be back.” Margot backed out of her embrace
and reached for the shirt Jax had worn the night before.
“Let’s get wet.”
They showered and dressed and went down to the
kitchen, and Jax’s heart lightened as Eugenia smiled and
opened her arms to Margot. “You’re gorgeous,” Eugenia said
as she gave Margot a hug.
“I feel like I know you after all the stories Jax has told me
—both of you.” Margot kissed both women on the cheek,
and her eyes were glassy with tears. “And thank you both
for taking such good care of her. You raised an awesome
human being.”
“I’d like to think I had a little to do with that,” a man’s
voice said from the doorway.
Jaxon turned around and lost her smile when she saw her
father. It had been years since she’d laid eyes on him, and
his hair was much whiter, but he still appeared fit. The sight
of him made it feel as if there was a great weight holding
her down in the chair, and she wanted to throw it off and
run. The only thing that eased her discomfort was Margot
putting her hands on her shoulders.
“I didn’t think you’d claim you had anything to do with
me.” She purposefully didn’t raise her voice and tried to
bleed the emotion out of it.
“Are you going to introduce your friend?” Gene Lavigne
looked like a man you’d follow into battle. He was imposing,
but she remembered his patience as a father, teaching
things that he felt were important for her and Roy to know.
“No. Why are you here, Dad?” She was too old to placate
people simply because she was expected to. Respect had to
be earned. That had been one of his most important
lessons.
“I’m here because I was wrong. It’s probably too late, but
I’d like to think there might still be a chance.”
Margot leaned down and kissed her cheek before she
took Birdie’s hand. “Do you want me to stay?”
“Go ahead. This won’t take long.” She smiled up at
Margot and nodded. “Does Mom know you’re here?” She put
as much sarcasm as she could into the question. “I’ve seen
her, and she said neither of you have changed your minds.”
“I didn’t think you’d be quick to forgive, and I don’t
blame you.” He sat across from her and folded his hands on
the table. It was the exact same pose he’d struck when he’d
said nothing as her mother meted out punishment for some
infraction or another. “Your grandmother reminds me
constantly what an idiot I am. You are who you are, Jaxon,
and I accept that.”
“Stop.” She put her hand up. “Please stop. The stuff
you’re saying…” She stopped and tried to find the best way
to put it so as not to draw this out. “I waited a long time to
hear you say this, but what you did, what you did is…”
There were no words to finish that. “I waited until I didn’t
need your words any longer. And you accept me? That’s the
best you can do?”
“You’re in love, Jaxon, and you’ll eventually realize that
you’ll have to do things to make your partner happy. You
might not agree, but to keep the peace you do it.”
She had to laugh. “You led men in Special Forces, Dad.
Your excuse is you were scared of Mom? That you let her
chase me away to make her happy? That’s more insulting
than what you did.”
“I wasn’t scared. It was more like keeping my sanity. I’m
sure your mother told you that we started divorce
proceedings. Whatever years I have left I want to be filled
with some semblance of happiness. It’s been so long that
I’m going to have to take some time to figure out what that
is.” Her father turned his head and stared out the window. “I
come from a long line of farmers, and it’s time for me to
take my turn.”
“Does Birdie even want you here?” She couldn’t help but
hurt him a little, though the news of the divorce was
surprising.
“Your grandmother is a wise woman, and I should’ve
listened to her no matter the subject. You’re my daughter,
Jaxon, and I’m proud of you. What you’ve accomplished,
you’ve done on your own, which should make you proud of
yourself.” He made eye contact with her, and she was
surprised by the tears on his face. The warrior he’d been all
his life seldom showed this kind of emotion. “I don’t deserve
your forgiveness, but I’m asking for it anyway.”
“It’s not a question of forgiving. That I did a long time
ago for my own peace of mind after Birdie told me to put
that load down. My problem is forgetting.” It was true. When
her head couldn’t find the answers that could rationally
explain why, her heart could never really heal. She’d dealt
with this by not dealing with it—putting it out of her mind as
much as she could, eventually locking it away where she
could insulate herself from the bleeding. But there he was,
sitting across from her, tears running down his face, asking
for forgiveness. The Band-Aid had been ripped off, and the
wound was bleeding.
“I wasn’t expecting a warm reunion, but maybe with
time…?” He sounded hopeful.
“I’m not going to change who I am, Dad. Think about that
before you go making promises you have no intention of
keeping. Margot is my partner and eventually will be my
wife, if she’ll have me. I love her and the life we have. I
don’t live by a don’t ask, don’t tell set of rules.” She saw her
father’s eyes lift before she felt Margot put her arms around
her again and kiss the top of her head. “We’re not
roommates, and I’m never going to hide what she means to
me.”
“I realize that, and I wanted different for you.” He put his
hands up when she opened her mouth. “Not because I’m
ashamed of you, Jaxon, but because I think life would’ve
been easier for you.”
“I wanted different from you. Understand that I live in a
place where people don’t stare when I hold Margot’s hand,
or think it’s unnatural that I love her. It could be that way
everywhere, but people like you and Mom have made that
impossible. Hiding behind your patriotism and religion gives
you the superior attitude that forgives how you treat
people.” She stood up and put her arm around Margot’s
waist. “Take your half-assed apology and—”
“Honey.” Margot squeezed her. “Give it time and stop
talking. Mr. Lavigne, I’m Margot Drake, and I love your
daughter. My father is retired military as well, and he sits
this one in his study every week and gives her lectures on
God knows what. She takes it with grace and patience
because she loves me.”
“I’ve made a mess of this, but I’m not condemning you, I
swear it,” her father said.
“The thing that most people think defines my father is
the uniform he wore for most of his life, but he told me that
while the uniform was important, it was becoming a father
that made him the proudest.” Margot gazed up at her and
smiled.
“I am proud, and all I’m asking is for you two to think
about it. Sixteen years of silence won’t be undone in one
apology or one day, but I want to be part of your life. Far too
many years have been wasted, and I promise I won’t let you
down.” Her father stood and wisely made no move toward
them. “Actions sometimes have to be proven over and over
before you believe them to be genuine. If you give me a
chance, I give you my word—you won’t be sorry.”
Jax stared at him, unable to find the words, any words, to
reply. Life had just been upended once again, and she had
no idea how to react.
“Give us some time, Mr. Lavigne. I’m not judging you,
and I’m not a psychologist, but what happened here is as
hard to grasp as fog.” Margot squeezed her side as she
spoke. “Jax’s only sin is that she’s a lesbian. She didn’t
choose it to piss you off—it’s as natural to her as her
beautiful blue eyes. But allowing your wife to cheat you of
all the amazing things Jax is because of her narrow-
mindedness was pure cowardice, if I may say so. Think
about all that, and maybe we’ll try again. It was nice
meeting you,” Margot said politely as if she’d not just ripped
into her father’s character in the nicest way possible. “You
ready, honey?”
Jax blinked and took a deep breath. “Come on, I promised
you a tour.” She took Margot’s hand and walked out.
Standing up to the past was both maddening and
satisfying. Sixteen years ago, she would’ve never had the
