Her Touch, page 7
So many emotions push forward, but I grab on to the anger that’s rising up and hold tight. I won’t cry. I won’t. I repeat it over and over again as I steel myself. I hop out of my Jeep, fixing my practiced fake smile. Eli stands as I walk toward him, and there’s a solemn look on his face. He clearly doesn’t want to be here.
“Major’s not home, so…” I tell him dismissively. I breeze right past him and grab the handle to the front door. I get a little madder when I feel it’s unlocked. He’s already let himself in.
I don’t invite him in, I just grit my teeth and walk inside. Hell, I slam the door behind me, hopefully right in his handsome face, but I don’t turn to look. Then I hear him open the door, and my name comes from his lips. Yeah, this not-showing-my-anger thing isn’t working.
I drop my bag and turn to look at him. He looks tired. No, he looks wonderful. A lump grows in my throat.
“Please leave,” I manage, happy with myself at how strong my voice sounds. I can tell it’s a direct hit as my words strike him hard. I can see it on his face. He brings his hand up to run through his hair that’s a little longer now. I itch to touch it. To touch him. He doesn’t want you, I remind myself.
“I can’t do that, sunshine.” His eyes flick to my wrist where my charm bracelet is. I grab my wrist, covering it up as if I’ve been caught with something I’m not supposed to have. I couldn’t bring myself to take it off. I’d tried a few times but couldn’t do it.
“Don’t call me that,” I throw at him before turning and heading up the stairs. I hear his heavy boots behind me. I move faster, trying to make it to my room, wanting to get away from him. He gets to me first, pulling me into him. My back hits his front as his arms wrap around me. My body melts into his on its own, and I can’t stop the reaction. I hate how much I want him.
“Sunshine, please,” he whispers in my ear. I can hear the pain in his words. It’s deep and rips at me. Slowly I turn to look up at him. He’s so close. His smell invades my senses. I swear he’s gotten bigger since the last time I saw him.
His forehead drops to mine, his eyes falling closed. We stand there in silence, neither one of us saying anything.
After what feels like forever, he finally open his eyes and they meet mine.
“Major is missing.”
My stomach drops at his words, but somehow I remain standing. I don’t know how long I stand there trying to process it. My dad is missing?
“All I know is he went dark over twenty-four hours ago and they can’t locate him. Nor has he contacted them,” he adds. “Oh, sunshine, don’t cry. You know Major is coming back. Nothing can stop him. I think we both know that.”
I didn’t even realize I was crying. I believe Eli. It would take the world going up in flames for my dad to not come home. I take a deep breath and step back from Eli.
“Thank you for letting me know.” He just stands there, not moving. “Please lock the door on your way out,” I add.
“Sunshine, I’m not going anywhere.”
My eyes narrow on him, and I know we are about to square up for a fight.
“I don’t want you here. Even less so knowing the only reason you came here was to give me the news about my dad. I’ll be fine. I have Alice.”
He shakes his head. “This isn’t up for debate.”
“You know what—” I snap back, but he cuts me off.
“According to the law, you’re mine now.”
Chapter 12
Eli
“What are you talking about, Eli?”
Her flushed cheeks and clenched fists should make me wary. But instead I’m turned on like I’ve never been in my life. Seeing her in person, holding her against me, smelling her sweet scent. It’s all too damn much, and I can’t stand the space between us.
I reach in my back pocket and pull out the paper and hold it out to her. “Major had his living will changed so that if anything ever happened to him and he couldn’t get home, I was your legal guardian.”
Her hand is shaky as she unclenches her fist and jerks the paper out of my hand. She is pissed off, and I absolutely hate it. I knew that my leaving wouldn’t be easy on her, but I had hoped that knowing one day I’d come back for her would help.
She scans the document and shoves it against my chest as she storms past me and into her bedroom. I follow her step for step until I get to her entryway and stop. I know that going into her private space without permission would cross some kind of line, and I don’t want her to be threatened. I want her to feel everything I feel for her, but that may never happen.
“Maggie,” I say, hating that she doesn’t want me to use her nickname. “Let’s talk.”
“I don’t have anything to say to you right now,” she says, and turns her back on me.
“That’s fine. But I’ve got things I need to say to you.” I still don’t take a step into her room. I know there will never be an easy way to apologize for what I’ve done or to help comfort her while her dad is missing. “I’m sorry I left the way I did. I thought that it would be for the best. I never meant to hurt you, Maggie. I was told today about Major, and you and I both know there are things about his job that can’t be discussed. They’re supposed to call us tonight and give us any updates they have on the situation. You and I have a lot to talk about, and maybe now isn’t the time for all of that. But at least while we are going through this, let me help. I’m here, and I care about Major just as much as you do. I won’t let you go through this alone. Please don’t let me, either.”
I see her take a breath, and then her shoulders fall. It’s as if the anger visibly leaves her, and some of the tightness in my chest releases. I wait a moment, letting her decide if she wants to speak, and watch as she turns around to face me.
“You’re right. It’s about the Major right now, and we need to focus on that. Alice should be home soon, and I’ll make us something to eat while we wait on the phone call.” She looks around the room and then back at me. “She took your old room, so if you’re staying I guess you can take Dad’s room—”
“I’ll sleep on the couch in the family room,” I say, stopping her. I wouldn’t feel right taking Major’s room, and the couch we all used to hang out on is big enough to be a bed. “I’m sure he’ll be home soon enough. I wouldn’t want him to yell at me for messing up his neat folds.”
There’s a pull of a smile at the corner of her mouth, but she bites her lip to keep it from growing. Then a sadness takes over, and she bursts into tears. I’m in front of her and pulling her into my arms as the sobs start to shake her body.
“Shhh. Don’t cry. Everything is going to be okay.” She leans against my chest as my arms rub up and down her back. I hold her while she cries and try to reassure her that the Major is alive. “He’s going to be fine, don’t worry. You know how he is. He’s like a cross between a Jedi and MacGyver. Nothing can touch him.”
Her body relaxes a little and selfishly I take the comfort she’s giving me. I should keep her at a distance until we have time to talk things through, but I’m not strong enough to push her away. Not now. Not when she needs me.
“Hey,” I say, getting her attention. I slide my hand under her chin and make her tilt her head up to look in my eyes. Her beautiful blue eyes are filled with tears, but she nods, knowing I’m telling her the truth. “Be strong, sunshine. I promise you that I’ll make sure this all turns out all right.”
She nods again, and my words give her some reassurance. And before I can process what’s happening, she places her soft full lips against mine. It’s not a ravenous kiss like the first time I tasted her. This is over faster than it began, and I think we’re both surprised by it.
Maggie leans back and touches her lips, shocked she did it. “Thank you,” she whispers before stepping out of my arms.
And that’s exactly what the kiss was. A thank you for comforting her and telling her it’s going to be okay. But my arms are cold without her, and it takes everything in my power not to pull her back to me.
“Let’s go downstairs and wait on Alice,” she says walking around me and going to the door. Just before she walks out of her room, she turns to look back at me. “Don’t you dare make me a promise you can’t keep, Eli.”
I square my shoulders and walk over to her, getting in her space. “I’ve never lied to you, sunshine. And I never will. You and I are going to straighten things out, make no mistake.”
With that, I take her hand and lead her downstairs to the kitchen. When we get there, it’s like no time has passed. We don’t have the playful easy way we had before, but we move around the space like we have a hundred times before. I help her cook, and a comfortable silence passes between us. It’s only broken when Alice comes home and we have to give her the news.
She’s just as upset as we are, having become a part of the family. The Major has taken care of her, and Maggie is truly like a sister. After the girls have a good cry and we all try to eat dinner, we wait for the video call on my laptop. They said that this would be a secure channel to talk to us, and they could get word to us sooner.
The three of us huddle around it in the kitchen as the screen comes to life and a woman in a suit appears before us.
“Good evening, I’m Bethany Gold, and I’m the family liaison here at the Pentagon. I’ve been given some updates on Major Drummond and wanted to give you some good news.”
Excitement rolls through all of us, and Maggie’s hand grips mine. I glance down to see her other hand is holding Alice’s, and she’s almost coming out of her chair with anticipation.
“Most of the information is classified, so I’m unable to tell you a lot of details. But what we can tell you is that he was able to eject his flight seat, and the homing device was activated one hour after landing. It’s a strong sign that he’s safe, and we have sent a search party to where the beacon was located. We haven’t heard any news yet, but we will keep you updated as we get information.”
I squeeze Maggie’s and look over at her, giving her a small smile. It’s not bad news, but it’s not great. Only the news of him coming home is going to ease her fears, but knowing that he’s okay right now is a comfort.
“Can I ask where he is?” Alice says softly, and Ms. Gold shakes her head.
“I’m sorry, but the details of the mission are currently deemed classified. I’ll see if I can get clearance later on. It will take the search team at least a few days to locate the beacon, if not longer, so settle in. I’m here day or night to answer what questions I can. But for right now, this is positive news. Take comfort, and try to get some rest.”
We thank her for what she was able to provide us, and I close the call. There’s a moment of silence before Alice stands from the table.
“I think I’m going to go lie down. I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep tonight. But I need to try.” She reaches out a hand to Maggie and rubs her shoulder. “You going to be okay?”
Alice pointedly looks at me and then back to Maggie as if to ask if she’s okay alone with me.
“Yeah, I’m good,” Maggie says and gives her friend a hug.
Once Alice is out of the room and I hear the guest room door at the end of the hall close, I turn my eyes to Maggie.
“Sunshine…” I begin.
“Not right now, Eli,” she says, walking over to the kitchen sink and putting away her glass. “It’s been a long day, and I just want to go to bed.”
Her shoulders sag, and I stand up, going over to her and resting my hands on them. She might not want me right now, but we’ve been like magnets since the moment we met, and if I’m in the same room with her, I have to be near her.
I start to rub her shoulders, easing some of the tension, and her head falls back on my chest.
“I was just going to say that I can make you some brownies if you want something sweet.” I kiss the top of her head, and for a moment I keep my lips there. Smelling her shampoo and whatever sweet scent that makes up my Maggie.
She laughs a little, and it might be the best thing I’ve heard in almost a year. “You don’t know how to make brownies.”
“True. But you do. And I could help.”
“So your way of making me feel better is to make me cook so you can eat?” She turns in my arms and looks up at me with a smile, a real, genuine one this time, and my heart beats like never before.
“I think that sounds about right,” I say, reaching out and running a finger on her jaw. “Come on, you know you love me.”
The words turn her to ice, and I realize that something I used to say to her so many times has a completely different meaning now. She does love me, and I love her. But she doesn’t know that. All she knows is I took off. I need to tell her everything. All that I’ve been holding back from her.
But it’s too late. She’s stepped away from me and now she’s got her hands up in front of her. She doesn’t want me to come anywhere near her, and the thought is tearing me apart.
“Maggie, I didn’t—”
“That’s enough, Eli,” she spits out. “I’m going to bed. Don’t follow me.”
With that, she turns, and I do as she asks. I don’t follow her. Instead, I stand there thinking about how much my leaving hurt her and how much I want to make it right. It might be the smallest thing I can do right now, but it’s something. I go to the cabinet, take out a bowl, and make her brownies.
When I’m finished, I leave a plate of them outside her door. They aren’t as good as hers, but it’s a start.
Chapter 13
Maggie
I roll over in bed and look at my clock. I don’t need to get up for another hour, but I know I’m never getting back to sleep. I barely slept at all. Flipping the covers back, I sit up in bed and drop my head into my hands.
God, this is a mess. I feel like I’m all over the place.
“Dad, you better come back to me.” I say to myself before standing up from my bed and walking over to my dresser. I pick up the framed picture of him, Eli and me from my seventeenth birthday. God, we looked so happy. I’d always felt like my dad and I were a family, but it was always just the two of us. I loved having our family grow. Or I thought I did.
Now I have no idea what’s happening. Eli’s sending me mixed signals that don’t make sense. I can’t go there right now. I already feel like my broken world has now become unfixable. I can’t lose my dad. I just couldn’t bear it. Not having him or Eli… I push the thought from my head. I can’t go there right now.
I want to kick myself for all the moping around I’ve been doing these last months. I should have been soaking up every second I could with my dad. What if I never see him again? A sob leaves my throat, and I choke it back.
I walk into my bathroom and brace my hands on the sink, looking at myself in the mirror.
“Get it together, Drummond.” I say it in the same tone my dad would always use on me when I was having a tantrum or an emotional breakdown. “Get your ass up and do your day.”
I let go of the sink feeling a little better and start getting ready, moving through my regular morning routine like it’s any other school day. When I open my bedroom door I stop short when I see a plate of brownies sitting there. I pick it up.
He made them. My heart does a little flutter at his effort, but another part of me questions what is happening here. Why he is doing this? Does he really want me? Maybe he’s just making nice because he knows he has to. He’s my legal guardian now. He has no choice, so he has to be here.
I hear a sob come from Alice’s room and I go over. I enter without knocking and find her lying in bed. She looks like she’s been crying all night. I drop the brownies on the bedside table and crawl into bed with her. I wrap myself around her and let her cry. There isn’t much I can say that hasn’t already been said. I know she needs a good cry. It will make her feel better, and I want her to know I’m here. I’ll lie here forever if it makes her feel better. Alice has already lost enough people in her life. Major better get his ass back here.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
“I love you,” I tell her, and she gives me the words back. I crawl from the bed, grab a box of tissues, and bring them back to the bed. She sits up and takes a few from the box.
“He’s coming back,” I tell her again, the same thing I told her last night.
She nods, but I can read the doubt all over her face.
“What are those?” she asks, looking at the oddly shaped brownies.
“Eli made them.” I hold out the plate. “Want one?”
She debates for a second before picking up one of the brownies and taking a bite of it. She barely gets a few chews in and she’s flying off the bed, making a beeline for the bathroom. I hear her vomit.
“Jesus, are they that bad?” I pick one up and take a bite. They aren’t great, but they aren’t vomit-inducing, either. I hear the faucet turn on, and Alice comes out a moment later.
“Think I’m still sick,” she mumbles, falling back into her bed.
“What did the doctor say?” I ask, remembering we hadn’t talked about it last night.
“It will pass.”
I place my hand on her forehead to check her temperature, but she feels fine.
“I was going to go to school, but maybe—”
“No, please go. I’m going back to sleep. I’m going to try to sleep this off.”
“You sure?” I ask. I don’t like the idea of leaving my crying and vomiting best friend alone.
“Really, I can call or text if I need you.”
I level her with a stare. Alice is not great about asking for help. She doesn’t like to be a bother, something her shit parents ingrained in her. “Promise,” she says, making me feel a little better.
“Okay. Anything I can get you before I go?”
“Close the curtains.” I do as she asks, then leave her room and shut the door. I walk down to the kitchen, and I stop when I see Eli making breakfast. I’ve missed that sight.
