Skye Blue, page 28
part #6 of Firsts and Forever Series
“Of course I would. I love that dog, you know that. There’s no reason to have this discussion though, because you’re going to sail through your operation.”
An older male nurse in blue scrubs came into the room and said, “It’s time, Mr. Evans.”
Dare looked so young and scared when he met my gaze. I kissed him again and said, “It’s going to be okay, baby. I promise. I love you so much, and I’m going to be right here waiting for you and your bionic knee when you get out of the operating room.”
He nodded as he searched my face. I was worried too, but made sure not to let it show. Instead, I gave him a big smile, then hugged him before I hopped off the gurney. The nurse took hold of it and started to wheel him out of the room, saying, “You boys have nothing to worry about. I’ve seen hundreds of operations just like this. Things almost never go wrong.”
Almost never. My stomach twisted up in a knot. I kept smiling though, for Dare’s sake. I walked with him for as long as I could, holding his hand, but when we reached a big set of double doors, I was told, “You’ll need to wait out here. I think your family is in the waiting room at the east entrance.” I gave Dare another hug and told him I loved him before he was wheeled through the doors and out of sight.
When I reached the small waiting room, Christian took my hand and led me to one of the beige upholstered chairs before sitting beside me. He’d offered to keep me company while Dare was in surgery. I held on to him as I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down.
I was surprised a few minutes later when Nana bustled into the room with Trevor and Joshua. My mother had agreed to let the ten-year-old stay behind for a few weeks while she and her boyfriend’s family toured the Pacific Northwest, but only after I vouched for Nana. Mom seemed to understand that life on the road was making him miserable. Josh, who struck me as an incredibly resilient kid, had immediately become a part of Nana’s family, though it was really Trevor and Vincent who’d become his caretakers.
“Hey,” I said. “What are you guys doing here?”
“We came to wait with you, of course. We practically cleaned out the vending machine,” she said gleefully. “It’s gonna be a long wait, so we all need to keep our strength up.” She and Josh heaped the little coffee table with junk food, and the kid enthusiastically tore open a pack of cookies.
“Go easy on those snacks, please,” Trevor told him. “You don’t want to get a stomach ache.”
Josh rolled his eyes and said, “Okay, Dad.” He’d started calling Trevor that recently and tried to play it off as a joke, but I had the feeling there was a lot more to it. The boy really wanted someone to care about him, no matter how much he tried to pretend he was tough and independent.
“So, what happens now?” Josh asked around a mouthful of cookie.
“Now we wait,” Nana said, settling onto one of the upholstered chairs and crossing her ankles daintily before tearing into a pack of Ho-Hos.
*****
The surgery was only supposed to take about two hours. My friends tried to distract me, but I ended up pacing at one end of the waiting room. When two hours came and went, the knot in my stomach twisted tighter. Another fifteen minutes went by, and then another.
By the three hour mark, I was a total wreck. “It shouldn’t be taking this long,” I said. “We were told the surgery only takes a couple hours, beginning to end.”
Nana had begun pacing too, and she said, “We need answers. I’m gonna go get us some.” With that, she stormed from the waiting room.
Christian came up to me and took me in his arms as I asked, “What if something went wrong? There’s always a slight risk with any surgery. What if he’s not okay?”
He murmured, “You can’t think like that, Skye,” and held me tighter.
Nana returned a few minutes later, dragging a doctor by the lapel of his white coat. “Tell them what you told me,” she said, practically tossing him into the room.
He had more than a little attitude, and clearly didn’t appreciate being manhandled like that. “Do you need me to call security, Mrs. Dombruso? I’d hate to do that, but I will if I have to.”
“And I’d hate to have to retrieve my .44 Magnum from my car and shove it up your ass, but I will if we don’t get some answers, and I mean now.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and knit his thick brows. “Like I told you, there’s been some sort of complication with your family member’s surgery, but I don’t have any details. I just know that a team was called in to assist at about the ninety minute mark. If you can just be patient, his surgeon will come and speak to you as soon as he’s out of the O.R.” I sank onto a chair and Christian took my hand. Joshie looked scared, so Trevor patted his shoulder and spoke to him reassuringly.
It was another torturous half hour before Doctor Williams, the surgeon, came into the waiting room, his face drawn and his scrubs wet with perspiration. “How is he? How’s Dare?” Nana demanded.
“He’s stable for the time being,” the doctor said. “He had an extremely rare allergic reaction to the antibiotic we were administering, which caused his respiratory system to go into distress. We had to intubate him because he wasn’t able to get enough oxygen on his own. The reaction was so severe that we’ve elected to keep him under until the inflammation in his lungs subsides. That should give his body its best chance to rebound, since all of his energy will be directed solely at healing.”
“Oh God,” I whispered.
“There’s more, isn’t there?” Nana said.
“His oxygen flow was severely compromised for several minutes,” the doctor said. “At this point, we can’t rule out the possibility of brain damage.”
A sob tore from me and Christian crushed me to him. He was shaking just like I was. I let go of him after a moment and got to my feet unsteadily. “I need to see him. I need to see Dare, right now.” My voice sounded small and frightened. Christian got up and put his arm around my shoulders, steadying me.
“He’s in the I.C.U. but you can see him,” the doctor said and called a nurse. The same man who’d wheeled Dare into the operating room led Christian, Nana and me to the far end of the hospital.
“His condition is very fragile right now,” the nurse explained, “so we can’t take the risk of infection. You’ll have to stay on the other side of a glass wall in order to keep his environment as sterile as possible. In a day or so, when the doctors decide he’s a bit stronger, you’ll be able to put on scrubs, a mask and gloves and go into his room.”
We’d reached the Intensive Care Unit and I pressed my hands to the glass wall separating Dare and me as tears streamed down my face. The end of a big tube jutted out between his pale lips, held in place with surgical tape. A million wires and machines surrounded him. His chest rose and fell steadily, in response to a big contraption that was pushing air into him. He looked so fragile among all of that cold, industrial-looking equipment.
“I promised him it was going to be okay,” I whispered. “I promised. I thought it would be perfectly routine. They do so many of these surgeries, thousands a year. Maybe I should have listened to my gut, though. I was really worried. Maybe I should have talked him out of this.”
“It should have been so easy,” the nurse said, his expression sympathetic. “I’ve never seen a knee replacement go wrong before.”
“Skye, you didn’t know this would happen. No one knew,” Nana told me. “We all just wanted him to get his knee fixed so he didn’t have to be in pain all the time.”
“I know, but—”
“But nothing. You had no way of knowing this would happen, and now you have to believe it’s gonna be okay, for Dare’s sake. He needs all the prayers and good thoughts he can get right now.”
She added, “I got a lot of money, you know that. If it takes every cent I have to bring in experts from the far corners of the earth, that’s what I’m gonna do. They can fix him, Skye. They broke him, but they can fix him, too. No matter what it takes, we’ll find a solution.”
“Not if he has brain damage,” I whispered, and Christian’s arm tightened around me.
“We don’t know that’s what happened. The doctors don’t even know. Try to think positive, Skye.” Nana tried to sound confident, even though her brown eyes were filled with despair.
I felt numb when we returned to the waiting room and I pulled my phone from my pocket. As if on autopilot, I dialed Dare’s landlady, and when she answered I said, “Ms. Yueng, this is Skye. Do you think Benny could stay with you for the next couple days? I know I was supposed to come get him tonight, but I won’t be able to do that.”
“Skye, is everything alright?”
“No. There was a complication. Dare’s in Intensive Care.” A fresh onslaught of tears choked off my words.
“Oh God, oh no!”
“You’ll watch Benny, won’t you? It’s just for now. I promised Dare I’d look after him, but I’m going to be in the hospital with him these next couple days....”
“Yes. God, of course. If you need anything else, please call me.”
“I will. Thanks.” I shut the phone off and put it back in my pocket, then looked around. Everyone was watching me, their expressions grave, their eyes full of pity. I felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room, and I said, “I need some time alone, just a few minutes. Call me if you hear anything at all.” I turned and tried to bolt, but Christian fell in step with me. “Didn’t you hear me? I said I need to be alone,” I said as I strode down the hall.
“I heard you.”
“So what are you doing?”
“Coming with you anyway.”
I sighed at that, but finally said, “Fine.”
When we got outside, I tilted my face into the gentle fall breeze and took a few deep breaths. It was a ridiculously pretty October Saturday, the blue sky and birdsong totally misaligned with what was happening inside right now.
“He has to be okay, Christian,” I said, wrapping my arms around myself. “He just has to. I love him so much. What am I going to do if he’s not okay?”
“He will be, Skye. He’s young, strong and healthy. Right now his body’s mending itself, and those machines are helping him do it.”
“But, what if—”
Christian cut me off sharply. “No. Don’t even go there. That doctor was a fucking asshole for throwing out words like brain damage. He has no idea if that happened! I refuse to assume the worst, and I want you to do the same thing, Skye.”
I scrubbed my hands over my face, willing myself to keep it together, and said, “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.” After a few minutes of pacing and failing to calm myself, I said, “Do you think it would be a bad idea to leave the hospital for maybe half an hour?”
“I think that’d be fine. Dare’s stable right now. That’s why they’re keeping him under, to make sure nothing changes. Do you want to go home and try to rest?”
“No,” I said. “I want to go murder the man that did this to Dare.”
“Who, the doctor?”
“No, not the doctor,” I said as I started toward the parking lot. “The reason Dare needed that surgery and is in the I.C.U. right now is because his fucking ex-boyfriend pushed him down a flight of stairs. None of this would have happened if that asshole hadn’t abused him. I need to hurt Collin Callwell for what he did to Dare.”
Christian matched my stride as he fished his sunglasses from his pocket and slid them in place. All he said was, “I’m in.”
Christian drove, because I was so upset that I’d probably cause a wreck. The Bancroft Building wasn’t far from the hospital, and in just a few minutes we pulled up and parked illegally at the curb. Callwell happened to be getting out of a cab right in front of us. If that hadn’t been the case, I would have just fought my way inside the building.
I leapt out and ran at him, grabbing the front of his jacket and slamming him against the side of the taxi. He was holding a phone, and I took it from him and threw it. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he growled, and I shook him, hard.
A crowd gathered instantly, most of them pulling out phones to film what was happening. A couple people were snapping photos with big, expensive cameras. The paparazzi sometimes loitered in front of the building.
“This is Collin Callwell,” I yelled to the assembled crowd. “He’s an abuser. He pushed his boyfriend down a flight of stairs, among other things. Callwell hurt him so badly that he needed surgery.”
“This is bullshit,” he said, trying to muster his bravado. “You can’t prove that.”
I shook him again and slammed him against the cab. “Dare is in Intensive Care right now, you fuck, and you put him there! If you hadn’t abused him, he wouldn’t have needed the surgery that landed him in the I.C.U. I don’t know if the man I love is going to wind up with permanent brain damage, or even if he’s going to live, and it’s all your fucking fault!” I yelled the last part into his face, and a murmur went up from the crowd.
I stepped back from Callwell and pointed at him. “This asshole is famous for playing a character on a TV show, but you should know who he really is. He’s a man that physically abused his innocent, much younger lover for years. He finally hurt him so badly that it ended a promising dance career and ultimately put that person in the hospital, fighting for his life. Collin Callwell should come with a fucking warning label, so that’s what this is: a warning to anyone who ever thinks about getting involved with this asshole, now or in the future. Callwell is a monster! I want everyone to know that.”
“I didn’t put him in the hospital. We broke up months ago. It’s not my fault,” Collin stammered, and I whirled around and kicked him in the nuts with all I had. As he gasped and crumpled to the ground, hands clutching his groin, a cheer went up from the crowd.
I turned and marched back to the truck. Christian was leaning against it, a satisfied grin on his face, and hurried to get behind the wheel as I approached.
“You didn’t quite murder him,” he said as we pulled away from the curb.
“No. I may have murdered his reputation though, so that’s something.”
“I’m really fucking glad you kicked him in the nuts.”
“Me too. He’ll probably press charges and I’ll go to jail for assault, though.”
“You know what? I doubt it,” Christian said. “Videos of what you just told that crowd are probably already going up on the internet. Anything he does to retaliate is just going to bring more attention to what he did. That’s got to be the last thing he wants.”
“It was totally worth it either way.”
Chapter Sixteen
Visiting hours had ended hours ago, but we were allowed to remain in the waiting room. Trevor had to take Josh home when it got late, and River and Cole had joined us after I texted my brother. Those two were asleep, propped up against a wall with their arms around each other. Christian and Nana were out too, both of them strewn across their chairs, the latter snoring lightly. There was no way I could sleep, though.
In the quiet middle of the night, I left the waiting room and slipped into the I.C.U. The nurse wasn’t at her station, so I was able to go up to the glass wall around Dare’s little cubicle and watch him for a while. He was so still aside from the artificial, machine-regulated rise and fall of his chest.
“When you come back to me, Dare,” I said softly, pressing my palm to the glass, “I’m never going to take a single thing for granted. Every breath you take will be precious to me. Even just getting to hold your hand will be an extraordinary gift.”
As I watched him, tears soaked the front of my t-shirt. I let them fall. “There’s so much I need to say to you,” I whispered. “I thought I had time, and I didn’t want to freak you out by saying things too soon. But Dare, I should have told you before this that you’re the love of my life, and I want to spend every single day of the rest of forever with you.”
I had to stop talking for a while as the tears took over, but eventually I said, “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met and I know you’re going to fight your way back to me. Then, if there are lasting challenges from the surgery, we’ll deal with them together. I want you to know that no matter what, I’m going to be right here at your side, Dare, always. I love you so much.”
The nurse was at her station when I left Intensive Care sometime later. I expected a lecture, but she just gave me a sympathetic little smile. I was surprised to find Cole sitting on the floor in the hallway, leaning against the wall. “Hey,” I said, sitting down beside him. “What are you doing out here?”
“I woke up and saw you were gone. I knew you’d come here, so I was waiting to make sure you’re alright.”
“Thanks for doing that.”
“Any change with Dare?” I shook my head no. We sat in silence for a while until Cole asked, “You feel like walking?”
“Yeah, I do.” We got up and slowly paced the long corridor.
After a while he said, “I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now. I mean, my God, if that was River in there....” He and my brother were so obviously in love, and had moved in together just this past weekend. Their entire relationship seemed effortless. They were just right together, and they both knew it.
“I’m glad you’re both here,” I told him.
We walked past the hospital chapel, and Cole asked, “Are you religious?”
“Not really. Are you?”
“In a way. My mom’s Jewish and my dad was Southern Baptist, so I just grew up kind of confused. Now I don’t subscribe to any religion in particular, but guess I’d call myself spiritual. I think there’s a God, but I don’t believe that any one religion has the direct line to him.”
“I’m half-Jewish too, but on my dad’s side so that’s not supposed to count. And my mom, well, she’s always searching. That’s very much who she is. She tries religions like she tries boyfriends, always looking for the one that feels most right. During one summer with her, River and I would be going to Christian Sunday school, the next we’d be meditating and studying Buddhism. The summer after that would be anyone’s guess. So, I can relate to what you said about growing up confused.”
