Kill Switch (Notes of Necrosoph Book 4), page 20
"I feel better."
"Good." Phage sipped her tea.
"So, back to being unkempt and no more sparkles."
"Thank god. It was unnerving. You were too stunning. Now you're my rugged, handsome man again, not some super hunkfest that all the ladies would have drooled over."
"They still drool. You can count on it," I joked.
"They do," she said seriously.
"I only have eyes for you, my beautiful wife. You know that."
"I do. I know that too. And I only have eyes for you. Soph, do you really think it was just because you visited the elves? I still can't believe that happened."
"Of course. What else could it have been? I must have just picked up on the vibe there or something. It was so weird there, so damn nice even though there I was fighting for my life and Tyr's. Anyway, it's over now."
"Yes, but how could going there make you look like them? Okay, minus the ears, but you were so stunning. And that aura. Ugh, makes me go all funny."
I grinned at her. We certainly hadn't wasted the temporary change. Phage couldn't keep her hands off me and I had this insatiable desire that she was happy to quench, albeit always very temporarily. Strange as it seems now, almost getting killed in front of thousands of fucking degenerate elves turned out to be a most enjoyable experience.
"You'll just have to get used to it being regular old grumpy Soph now. And Big Boner," I added with a cheesy grin.
"Great. Don't think I could handle any more of that. And no, absolutely not," she laughed. "I told you already, you are absolutely not calling your new knife that. I know you, what you're like." Phage moved close and kissed me. I licked my lips. Tea and the apple pie we'd just finished. Delicious.
"What do you mean? What am I like?" I asked, unable to stop the smile from spreading.
"You'll be making crappy jokes forever, and it's not appropriate for Jen. Plus, they won't be funny. You'll be all, 'Where's my Big Boner?' and 'Gosh, I forgot how impressive my Big Boner was,' and you'll laugh, and think it's hilarious, but within a few days you'll be out of ideas but still making the same crappy jokes. So, no. Just no."
"You sure?" I asked, eyebrows wriggling.
"See, haha, you've started already. Bone Slicer is cool, and I still can't believe you got given such a thing, but you deserve it, my handsome, brave, fearless, damn lucky man."
"Luck had nothing to do with it. Okay, maybe a little," I conceded. "Can you imagine what Peth will say about this? She'll be fuming."
"She sure will. Imagine, you, a lowly man, being the only one to ever see the elven wonderland."
"Yeah, it was so lovely," I laughed. "Anyway, hopefully I'll never see another pointy eared twat as long as I live."
"Let's hope so. Soph, do you think the Brewer will ever come home?" she asked, saying what I'd just been thinking.
"I hope so. At least, part of me does. I wonder where he is. If I knew where to look, I would, but he could be anywhere."
"And Wonjin. It's strange not having him here."
We both turned to stare at the vacated spot. There was nothing we could do to help him, but we both missed the big guy. Jen too. Maybe he'd return one day, maybe tomorrow. His life was a closed book, but it would be nice to see him too. We'd all grown accustomed to his presence on the lawn. It felt empty without him.
"How do you think Jen's holding up?"
"She seems really good, doesn't she?" Phage instantly came alive. Just thinking of her girl lifted her spirits.
"She does," I agreed. "Ever since I spouted all that stuff when I got home and was delirious, she's settled right down."
"I know. It's hard to get used to. She's been helpful. Jen really stepped up while you were out of action that first week until you got over the infections. She cooked, and cleaned, even did her chores without moaning. And the questions eased right off too. She hardly pestered me at all about the Necroverse."
"Same for me. She's asked a few things, but nothing much, and nothing that I couldn't answer honestly. But, that makes me worried. How come?"
"Maybe she knows everything she wants to at the moment. And let's face it, there isn't much more to tell. She's getting used to the idea of it all. It's a hell of a lot to take in for a young girl. Remember when you found out? I do. It was terrible. I'd grown up always knowing more than I should, but when Mother sat me down and told me the whole truth, I felt sick to my stomach and was a nightmare for months."
"And then you accepted it and got on with things. But it wasn't until you left to kill your first person that the reality truly sank in, right?"
"Exactly! Maybe that's it. She's just getting used to things."
"The fact is, she probably doesn't want to know any more. She asked and asked, and then discovered the terrible truth. Now she's aware she might uncover more, so is keeping her head down. She's been spending a lot of time with Tyr and Kayin, so I guess our girl's accepted it and knows she has to be ready."
"Soph, why does she have to be? I hate it. I don't want our little girl doing the things we've done. I can't stand it." Phage dropped her tea and flung herself at me. I wrapped her in my arms and just held her. We needed each other now more than ever. Our daughter knew the horror her life would hold, and she'd done amazingly well at keeping it together, but the worst was yet to come.
"She's strong. Jen'll be fine."
"She's my baby. I can't bear to think of the day that she walks out the house and know I might never see her again. It's not right for a parent to experience that."
"I know. The only way I can accept it is to think of her as a soldier in training. Just like other parents, we have to watch our child go off to war. The only difference is that ours has a dragon and a unicorn, and the best, most experienced soldiers to train her. She will always return to us. Always."
"Promise?" Phage looked into my eyes with hope, but she knew better than to ask that of me.
I shook my head. "I can't make you that promise. You know that. I'm sorry, but I can't."
Phage nodded. She knew. I hugged her tight and we clung to each other, knowing that one day we'd be doing this for real. When Jen walked out the door the day she turned twenty-one, and there was a chance she'd never return.
"We just have to make every day count. Same as we always have. We've got each other, and each year it gets harder to leave, but we must. So, every day is like our last, and we must promise each other one thing, Phage, even if I can't promise Jen will always return."
"What's that?'
"That we will be together for as long as we can. That we will always be there for each other, love each other, and never, ever, let these fucking notes come between us."
"I promise." Phage smiled, and somehow I knew that everything would be alright. At least for a while.
"Throw ball now?" asked Woofer, sitting patiently beside me.
"Sure buddy. Hey, how come you're so muddy? You're filthy." Mud covered his snout and the ball, which he was gripping eagerly between his teeth.
"Found water."
"Where?" I asked suspiciously.
"Um, in tap?" he offered helpfully.
"Best I don't know," I sighed. "Hey, what you doing?"
"Soph love muddy ball rubbed against jeans," he told me, pressing the ball into my thigh.
"Honestly, I don't" I laughed.
"No? Thought Soph loved dirty streaks over clean clothes. Woofer always do it."
"Yes, I know, and we've had a million conversations about this. If I've told you once, I've told—"
"Stop messing with Woofer and throw the ball for him," laughed Phage.
"But it's all muddy," I told her, then pointed in case she'd missed it. Or the streak on my jeans.
"So? You love it." Her eyes twinkled as she smiled at me and our crazy dog.
"It's good to know you're feeling alright, Woofer. You are, aren't you?"
Woofer dropped the ball, stared at it longingly, then spoke out loud, still unfortunately nothing but a series of barks for Phage. It wasn't fair that she still wasn't inflicted with his nonsense too. "Feel amazing. Can run fast and play ball forever and morph into other places and play tag and hide with Mr. Wonderful and do all sorts. Woofer not sad now. Happy. Will be with family forever."
"I'm happy too," I told him. "Hey, is that a squirrel?" I asked.
Woofer turned and ran around the garden in a frenzy, while we laughed at his antics.
"That was mean," said Phage.
"Was it? Look, I actually got the ball. See." I held out my hand; it was empty. I stared down to find my devious mutt had the ball in his mouth, and was staring up at me with endless hope in his eyes.
"Play ball with Woofer?"
Phage laughed. "Now, I do not need to be a zoolinguist to understand that."
I tutted at the pair of them, then grabbed out quick to nab the ball. Woofer, of course, was faster. So dumb.
"Come on," I told her, "let's go see our crazy daughter. You know what she's been doing, right? I knew she would, but damn, it terrifies me."
"It's your fault," chided Phage as she punched me playfully on the arm. "You shouldn't have told her you rode Tyr. What did you expect her to do?"
"Suck it up and wait until she was at least eighteen."
"If you thought that, then you don't know your daughter very well."
"Oh, I know her only too well, which is why I worry so much."
We held hands and left the shade of the gazebo, then wandered down the garden heading into enemy territory. Otherwise known as the next-door neighbor, Job's, land. Where a dragon, a tiger, and a little girl happily played on the platforms and in the trees high up in the air, where a single misstep could result in death. But that was as nothing compared to what our little girl was currently focused on, if not obsessed with.
"Don't look, don't look," I warned Phage, as she gripped my hand tight and scrunched her eyes closed.
"I'm not looking," she squealed.
"Good, because it's damn terrifying. Ugh, christ on a bike. Argh, fuck. No, don't do that!" I screamed.
"What? What is it?" Phage opened her eyes and peered up into the clear blue sky at our daughter. And her dragon. "Get her down, right now!" hissed Phage. "She can't be up there doing that. Bloody hell, did you see that? They did a loop-the-loop. How did she stay on?"
"Sheer bloody determination, is my guess," I said, trying to sound calm when inside my heart was hammering, my throat was dry, and I was sweating and not because of the heat.
"Mum, Dad, look at me. No hands," shouted Jen as Tyr whooshed by in Job's field, well away from Sanctuary.
"Hold on!" screamed Phage.
"You look pale," I laughed. "Told you not to look."
"But you kept gasping and shouting and swearing. I thought something was wrong."
"It is. Our not even teenage daughter is riding no-handed on a dragon, and there's a tiger waiting for her when she lands." I pointed to the top platform of Sanctuary where Rocky was sitting and watching Jen's shenanigans. He was used to it, and spent most of his time up there with Tyr when he wasn't off riding with Jen or hunting.
Rocky would come down for food and for a call of nature, but he and Tyr were inseparable and became closer every day. That was good. Because it meant Jen was closer to him too, and the more strings in her bow for when the time came, the better it would be. Or was it too much? Would it mean she was thrown in right at the deep end, rather than her first job be the one to ease her into her new way of life? I guess it was too late now, and only time would tell.
"Soph, do something," insisted Phage.
"Well done, honey. But hold on. You're still learning."
Jen waved at us as Tyr banked right, darted up high, then dropped down fast before landing expertly on the platform.
"That was you doing something, was it?" asked Phage, grinning despite herself.
"Think of it as a fairground ride," I told her. "No way can she really fall. Tyr's saddle is the perfect fit for her. She can hold on to those weird handles, although she doesn't do that enough. And even if she fell off, he'd just swoop down and catch her before she hit the ground."
"Wow, I feel so much better."
"Good, because I don't."
"Neither do I, you idiot," laughed Phage. I laughed too, because it was that or cry, and I'd shed more than enough tears recently.
"Put it this way then. At least we save money on amusement parks. Um, if there were any open. And if we were allowed to go."
"My hero. Always know the right thing to say, don't you?"
We stared into each other's eyes and then I took my wife's hands, pulled her close, and whispered, "I love you."
"I love you too, my handsome, scruffy, no longer beautiful husband."
"I'll take it," I chuckled, then I kissed Phage. It felt like the first time. Full of longing, full of hope, full of a future together. But now there was more than just the two of us, and I couldn't have been happier.
"Ugh, so gross," said Jen as she came running over, red-faced and sweaty, smiling and as happy as any kid could be.
"It's not gross. It's love." I told her.
Jen rolled her eyes. "Did you see my moves? Tyr is so awesome. He's so fast too. Did you know he can morph at least a mile at a time now? It tires him out, but he can do it. It feels so weird. One moment you're somewhere, the next you're…"
"Somewhere else?" I asked, smiling.
"Exactly!"
"Doesn't it hurt when you morph with Tyr?" I wondered.
"No, not at all." Jen shrugged. "It feels weird, but Tyr explained that it's not me doing the morph, it's him, so I don't have to feel the pain. Even he does, you know. He says it hurts really bad, but he's getting used to it. Kind of like Woofer. Soon, I bet it won't hurt either of them. Can I go again?" she asked breathlessly.
Phage and I raised an eyebrow to each other then I said, "Sure. But Jen, take it easy, okay?"
"I will." She skipped off happily.
"At least she's not watching TV, or gaming," I reminded Phage.
"I think I'd prefer that."
We watched them for a while, then left them to it. Soon it would be time to settle the animals before bed, but there was still some evening light left, so it was nice to make the most of it and be outdoors.
Past the zoo, and back at the gate that led to our garden, Phage stopped me and said, "Soph, I've been meaning to ask you, but didn't want to get into it until you were feeling properly better and the effects had worn off. But, er, okay, I'm just going to come out and say it. Do you think the whole kill switch thing was for you?"
"For me? Are you serious? It went off for everyone, you know that. Even the elves. So I'm not sure I'm following."
"Don't you think it's a bit of a coincidence? That everything turned off just as you were going? That they gave you permission to drive? That it meant you went unseen? You went to the elves and then their internet, or whatever it is that's their version of it, went down not long after. Like it was all so they couldn't watch you, or see what happened next. A punishment for them, maybe. Teach them a lesson. Show them who's boss?"
"Don't be daft. Haha, you're reading too much into it. It was just a coincidence. I mean, why would they do that? Why cut off two entire worlds just so others couldn't watch me do what? Kill another man, same as always?"
"I don't think it was for that. I think it was because they knew you'd meet Eleron and end up where you did. I assume they don't like that sort of thing, so they shut everything down in advance just to prove to us, to the elves, and to other Necros, that there are rules and certain things simply aren't done."
"We know what they do if we break the rules," I told her. "I obviously didn't break any. I followed him in, but there's nothing to say I can't. Not that anyone else ever has, but there you go. No, just coincidence. Our kill switch might be unrelated to our invisible lords and masters. I get the feeling the elves going dark was them, but only because of what Eleron did. Come on, let's go cool down. Maybe a pint?"
"I wish."
"Damn, I keep forgetting. I wonder if the Brewer's alright. I hope so."
"Me too. He gives me the creeps, and I can't spend more than a minute with him, but he does make the best beer."
"Okay, crappy wine it is," I told her. "You go up. I'll be there in a minute.
After Phage went inside, I lingered, listening to my daughter whooping in the sky. I felt bad, really bad, for lying to my wife. I did it so she wouldn't worry, but it still felt wrong.
I absolutely had thought about the kill switch, almost to the exclusion of all else. And I absolutely did believe it was all because of me. There was no more denying that I was marked out as unique for some reason, and I believed that my masters had flicked the switch on our world and the elves because they wanted to show who was in charge, who had the power, and to make sure the elves especially didn't ever forget it. But more than that. They did it to show all us Necros that they were still very much in charge and we had better toe the line.
Or else.
What could I do? Nothing. I was sure that there were other reasons for the kill switch, but as with much else in the Necroverse, I got the feeling I would never know. More than that, I didn't want to know.
I wanted peace. Home. Phage and Jen and Woofer and Tyr and all the others. I wanted to be left alone. I certainly wasn't going to go looking for answers.
Again, I knew that it didn't matter. The answers would come find me even if I didn't want them.
But for now, and hopefully until the following year, I could enjoy being home, relax a little, and improve the dent in my recliner.
"Hey Dad," called Jen as she flew by just above my head.
"Hey." I waved as Tyr and Jen darted up into the endless possibilities of the Necroverse then vanished.
THE END
Will Soph get to put his feet up? Will Woofer start morphing into the neighbor's kitchens (if he hasn't already) and nick their food? Where's the Brewer? And Wonjin? Will Soph ever get rid of his Big Boner? Er, I mean Bone Slicer. Yes, that's the last time. Sorry!
But most importantly of all, will you read the next book? This time, it's personal. Witch Bitch is book 5 in the series, so please continue to follow along on our favorite Necro's journey.
