No Holds Barred (Hotel Bombshell Book 3), page 9
“How are you?” Hope asked, sounding more timid than a kid in front of a school principal for a scolding.
Angelica flicked her gaze to Lyric and nodded. “Will you give us some time?”
“Yeah. You got your phone?” Lyric held hers up.
Angelica nodded. “Yeah.”
“Call if you need.” Lyric disappeared again, and when the door clicked shut, Angelica focused back on Hope.
“Sit down on the bed if you want.” Angelica shifted slightly, preparing for Hope’s weight on the mattress.
Hope tentatively sat, pressing her fingers into the blanket before she sat back slightly. “You’re still in pain.”
“Yes,” Angelica answered. She’d never been good at lying to Hope or even twisting the truth to her benefit. “They said for a week or two and then it’d ease up.”
Hope nodded and then looked out the window. “We finished filming today. It was so odd not having you there. Rex said that we’ll film the closing segment when you’re feeling up to it and then splice everything together—or something like that.”
Angelica pulled her lips tight. She hadn’t known any of that. No one had really been willing to talk to her, and they’d purposely kept her out of decisions. She just couldn’t decide if that was so she could heal or if this was the way to push her out entirely. Josef had already made overtures about replacing her for season four if they were renewed, and Angelica hadn’t committed herself to returning anyway.
“We’ll do the same when we get to Boston for the opening,” Hope mumbled, staring down at her hand which rested very close to Angelica’s.
On impulse, Angelica reached for Hope’s fingers and squeezed them. “I’m fine, Hope.”
“You know that’s all you kept saying that night.” Hope frowned. “And we all know it’s a big fat lie.”
“Then perhaps I should say that I will be fine.” Angelica sighed and pulled her hand free from Hope’s.
“I…” Hope’s face fell, her shoulders dropping. “Can we talk about that night?”
“We are talking about that night.” Angelica tensed, her chest tightening to the point that it was painful, although that wasn’t hard to do lately. Everything just hurt.
“No. I mean about…” Hope blew out a breath and bit her lower lip. Her gaze roved around the room, but she wouldn’t make eye contact with Angelica.
The tension hit Angelica hard. She flicked through her memories of that night, trying to figure out what the hell had happened, but between drinking and being smashed by a car, it was all a bit hazy. She’d gone out to the car to wait for Lyric, and Hope had texted or called. Or…
Angelica paused.
Right, they’d talked on the phone.
Brushing her fingers through her tangled hair, Angelica pushed her shoulders into the pillow and cringed when that move hurt. She hated not being able to just be comfortable physically. And talking about that phone call was the last thing that Angelica wanted to do.
“I was drunk, Hope.”
“Yeah? So?” Hope raised her gaze, meeting Angelica’s eyes.
Those crystalline orbs were filled with unshed tears. Angelica was about to reject what Hope had said, but she saw the fear there, the pain and worry. And it hit her like a brick wall, and she couldn’t formulate the words. She couldn’t say anything.
“You don’t ever lie to me,” Hope whispered. She reached for Angelica’s hand and curled her fingers around it. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“I…” Angelica halted. She didn’t have an answer for that right now. Or perhaps it was that she had too many answers. She stared down at their joined hands, remembering the feel of Hope’s fingers against hers, the way Hope had laid her head down on the edge of the bed at the hospital and fell asleep for twenty minutes before the nurses had come back in to check on her.
“It would have changed everything.”
“It would have changed nothing,” Angelica countered.
Hope tensed, her entire body going rigid. She stared at Angelica like the words she’d just said were only meant to hurt, but they weren’t. They were the truth. Nothing Angelica had said then or now would have made a difference in how their relationship ended. It would have ended. Hope just would have been all the more devastated for it.
“Ange, you don’t believe that.” Hope shook her head slowly. Who was she trying to convince? Angelica or herself?
“I do.” Angelica sighed. “I do believe that because I know it. I know for a fact it’s true.”
“No.” Hope bit her lip. She sat back slightly, looking around the room, but then she surged forward.
Their lips connected. Hope grasped onto the side of Angelica’s face, holding her in place. Angelica grunted in surprise, her eyes clenched shut as Hope pushed against her, wet lips sliding over Angelica’s. Instinctually, Angelica opened her mouth. She reached up, sliding her fingers against the back of Hope’s scalp, through the short hairs that she had longed to touch and tease.
Hope slid her tongue into Angelica’s mouth, teasing her even more. Angelica breathed deeply, pain surging up in her chest from the move, from Hope’s weight. She clenched her hand tightly against the back of Hope’s head and held her. Hope didn’t let up. She leaned down even more although she didn’t press the full weight of her body into Angelica’s.
Angelica moaned, every physical sensation in her body warring with itself—from the pain to the pleasure, not knowing what to do or what decisions she needed to make. Hope pulled back and nipped her lip lightly and sighed.
“We need to stop, Hope.” Angelica hated saying those words because this felt good and right and perfect, but there was so much weight to the kiss that it’d never be that way. They’d never be without that hurt, and Angelica could never be what Hope wanted. She refused to be second choice.
“I know,” Hope murmured, her mouth still only millimeters away from Angelica’s. “I know. I just…” She breathed slowly, the air moving from between her lips and brushing against Angelica’s cheeks and face, warming her. “You never told me before.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Angelica repeated the words. It was getting harder to say each time, but she was determined to make Hope understand the devastation that she felt. “It’ll never matter.”
“It does.”
“No.” Angelica brushed her fingers against Hope’s cheek and shook her head. “No, it doesn’t, because we made our choices. You made your decision. And we can’t take those back. I won’t let you.” Because there was more hurt, more damage that Hope had done, and Angelica would never allow herself to feel that way again. She’d never put herself in a situation where Hope could have that power over her. “You should leave.”
“Ange…” Hope backed away, tears in her eyes again. “I don’t want to.”
“I’m not giving you a choice.” Angelica rested heavily into the pillows and hardened her stare in Hope’s direction. “This is how it has to be. Sometimes love isn’t enough, sometimes I…” Angelica trailed off. She was getting far too close to the pain that still sat in the center of her chest, the one that seemed to flare up any time Hope was in the room with her, the hurt that was certainly plaguing her now. “I need you to leave.”
Hope drew in a shuddering breath. “My feelings haven’t changed.”
“I know they haven’t,” Angelica fired back, her shoulders tensing. Why couldn’t this just be easy? She wanted it to be smooth for one damn season, as if they knew how to work together, as if there wasn’t drama coming between them. “I know they haven’t,” Angelica said softer this time. “And that’s why nothing like this will ever happen again. Maybe it’s because you got your proper breakup with Rex and you didn’t with me, but I’m not going back to last year and reliving it. I’ve moved on, and it’s time that you do too.”
“Moved on?” Hope furrowed her brow. “With who?”
“With no one.” Angelica sighed heavily. “I’m not here to replace you or anyone else in my life. I’ve come to terms with our relationship and what it was, that’s all I’m saying. And I’m not looking to bring up the past to hash it out again and again.”
Hope seemed to understand then. At least she nodded like she did. Angelica crossed her arms, instantly regretted the move, and put her hands back down at her sides.
“Thank you for staying with me in the hospital. I deeply appreciate it.” Why did that sound so transactional when it was anything but? Angelica clenched her jaw tightly. “I really should rest now. And you should get back to your family.”
Angelica waited in silence as her words registered in Hope’s brain.
“I’ll see you in Boston.”
Hope’s lips parted, and she looked like she wanted to say something, but she didn’t. Finally, she stood up and nodded, walking out of the hotel room.
Finally ensconced in the quiet, Angelica just breathed.
Why couldn’t they just leave the past in the past?
Angelica lifted her fingers to her cheeks, surprised to find them damp from tears of her own. She was better than this. She’d worked through this. Hadn’t she? But facing Hope every single day again was more than she’d anticipated. It hurt. In so many ways.
Feelings be damned.
Angelica loved her, she’d never denied that to herself, even if she had kept it from Hope. But love wasn’t enough. Love didn’t mean that the relationship they had was healthy for either one of them. Love didn’t mean that they could find a way to make it work.
And they hadn’t.
Hope had chosen.
And Angelica had been left in the dark to clean up the mess she’d fully anticipated would be the outcome of their little tryst. But she was done cleaning up after Hope. And she wasn’t going to put her heart on the line just to let everything fall apart again.
Second chances were for fairy tales.
And she’d been right all along not to believe in them.
Episode 2
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS - THE GODFREY
Chapter
Twelve
“Hi, I’m Hope.” She held her hand out and clasped the hand of the young woman across the reception desk from her.
“Hi. I’m Ashlee, I’m the owner of this hotel.” She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes, as if her nerves were taking hold of her too quickly to make it to her lips.
“It’s so good to meet you.” Hope tried to put on her best face to ease Ashlee’s discomfort, but honestly it was for herself. Everything about this felt off. Angelica wasn’t even in the building yet. The only other time that they started without her had been in Las Vegas, and they hadn’t actually filmed scenes without her. They’d just done prep and set up.
But now Hope was going to film for two days before Angelica was supposed to arrive. Everything rested on her shoulders this time.
“I think I have a meeting scheduled with you soon, right? To discuss how things are going to work as we film.”
Ashlee nodded and bit her lip. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Good. I’m just going to get settled and then I’ll meet with you, okay?”
Hope feverishly looked around for Rex or anyone else who could distract her from this awkward encounter. She wasn’t usually this bad at talking with people, so why was it so hard this time around? Not to mention, even if she did find someone from the crew to work with, then she was going to have to figure out how to talk to them. Because so far, no one really wanted to talk with her. She was the pariah of the show now.
She saw Rex standing in the hallway and walked toward him. Her shoulders were tense as she went, but he would at least know where they were setting up for now.
“Hey,” she said with a huge sigh.
“Hey.” He nodded at her. “We’re in there.”
“I was just going to ask. Thanks.” She hated that they were so awkward about everything. They never really managed to find that easy calm conversational level yet. But Hope was still determined to get there eventually.
“Hope?” Rex touched her shoulder slightly to stop her from walking away, before pulling back like he’d been burned.
She frowned slightly but looked up at him. “Yeah?”
“How is Ange? I haven’t heard anything…”
Hope shook her head slowly and shrugged. “I, uh… I don’t know.”
Her lips tingled from the kiss they’d shared, the intensity of it. Angelica had been right to stop it. Hope hadn’t been kissing her because of love but because of relief. She was so damn happy that Angelica wasn’t dead, that she was okay, that the worst part was over. Because it had to be, right? Hope swallowed the lump that came up in her throat instantly.
“She hasn’t really been answering any calls or texts or emails.” Hope shrugged again. “I think she’s actually been trying to rest and heal.”
“Ange?” Rex raised a surprised eyebrow at her. “Well, that’d be a change.”
“Yeah. It would.” Hope brushed her fingers across her lips, still feeling Ange against them if she thought about it. Everything about that kiss had felt right and perfect except the fact that they hadn’t talked. They hadn’t digested what either one of them was feeling or still felt for each other. It was pure impulse on Hope’s part, and once again, she’d fallen flat into the accusations that Angelica had lobbed at her time and time again.
“Oh, um… Josef hired someone to help out while Ange is recovering. I think she’s in waiting for you.”
“He did?” Hope furrowed her brow. “He didn’t mention anything to me.”
“Yeah, well, it’s Josef. Do you honestly expect him to at this point?”
Hope sighed heavily. She really wanted him to leave. Because he was ninety-nine percent of the problems that they had on set, and half the time she was fairly certain that he was causing them on purpose just to get a reaction out of people.
“I wish he wouldn’t be on location anymore,” Hope murmured under her breath.
“I think Logan’s working on that, actually.”
“Oh, well, that’d be a nice change.” Hope squared her shoulders and faced the room Rex had pointed at. “Guess I better get to work.”
Rex nodded at her but didn’t say anything else.
Hope walked through the hallway, her jeans pulling tight against her body as she went. Nerves flared in her belly and clawed at her. Why the hell was she nervous? She shouldn’t be. She was the one who had the most power in the conversation that was about to happen. Hell, she didn’t even know what Josef had hired this person to do. It could simply be to push Angelica around in a wheelchair.
She snorted at that thought.
He’d never be so kind.
Hope stepped into the room and found a younger woman sitting on the table, legs crossed, a pencil skirt pulling up over her knee. Her hair was a dyed deep red at the bottom, but her roots and halfway down was a deep black. Her oxford shirt was unbuttoned enough that Hope could make out the swell of her breasts.
“Hello,” Hope said, her voice dipping low before it rose up in more of a question.
“Oh hi!” The woman’s eyes lit up as Hope entered, her lips curling up to the side. “You’re Hope Lawrence.”
“I am.” Hope smiled at her, holding out her hand. This woman was young, but she was pretty. It seemed she was Josef’s type to a T. “And you are…?”
“I’m Leanne Coates.”
Hope’s entire heart sank. Cold rushed through her. And she was damn sure her face grimaced. But the bile that swirled in her belly was more than she could handle. “I’m sorry, did you say Leanne?”
“Yeah!” Leanne answered with a bubbly tone to her voice. “I used to work with Ange in Los Angeles.”
Hope nodded. She knew that. She also knew that Angelica had loved Leanne, that she’d asked Leanne to take a different job in order for Angelica to have the show because they were secretly in a relationship and Leanne had told her no. Leanne had told her that their relationship wasn’t worth it. Biting her lip, Hope tried to push a smile toward her lips.
No one knew who Leanne was except Josef.
This was pure punishment for Angelica’s car accident.
“And Josef brought you in to help out?” Hope asked, already knowing the answer before she asked it, but it was polite.
“He did. He said that Ange was in a car accident. I tried to call her, but she didn’t answer.”
“She’s taking some time to recover.” Hope would defend Angelica any way possible in this circumstance, and she wouldn’t put up with Josef’s crap either. Who even knew if Leanne actually tried to call Angelica or if she’d just thought surprise was the best course of action? “I’m sorry, but what exactly did Josef say you were here to help with?”
“He said I’d be taking over for Angelica while she’s out. Since she trained me and I know how she works and her style, it’ll be easy for me to step into her shoes—well, figuratively speaking. I never really understood how she managed to work so many hours.”
“Right.” Hope nodded slowly. Her knees started to shake, her fingers trembling. But was it anger? Or was it simply the cruel injustice of everything Josef was setting Angelica up for? And Hope still didn’t know what to say to her.
And fuck was she young. She had to be younger than Hope.
Angelica really did have a type, didn’t she?
Hope clenched her hands into fists and looked around the room, trying to figure out the best way to get out of this conversation.
“Oh, um, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”
Ashlee.
Hope spun around, her eyes locking on the young woman, and she grinned a little too ferociously. She was the perfect distraction that she needed in order to stay in this room and not immediately run out and call Angelica and let her in on what was happening.
“You’re not interrupting anything.” Hope held her hand out toward the table. “Come sit down, we’ll start in a minute. I just want to make sure the directors are here before we get started.”
Hope stepped out of the room and let the cold air hit her face. She took three deep breaths before she scanned the lobby for Rex. Instead, her eyes landed on Cadence.
