No Holds Barred (Hotel Bombshell Book 3), page 2
“What made you go so short with your hair?” Wade switched out memory cards in the camera swiftly.
“Oh. Um…” Hope ran her fingers through her short hair, still loving the slight buzz she had in the back and the extra length she had on the top. It’d been an impulsive decision toward the end of the summer, but damn, it wasn’t one that she regretted. Not at all. “I thought it was time for a change.”
“Change?” Wade wrinkled his nose. “There’s more changed about you than just your hair.”
“What do you mean?” Hope immediately moved her thumb to her ring finger, feeling the empty space where the gold band used to rest against her skin. She still wasn’t used to it not being there. And there were days that she wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to it. Then there were days when Rex ticked her off that she absolutely knew she would. It’d just be a matter of time.
“You’re different.” Wade put the camera down. “You’ve got like a shroud over you. Your smile seems forced in a way it hasn’t been before.”
“Oh.” Hope nodded slowly, sadness seeping into her bones. “Yeah, I know. Maybe someday I’ll get my light back.”
“I hope it’s soon.” Wade winked at her. “I miss it.”
“Me too.”
Wade gave her a pitying look, and she despised it.
“Are we done?” Hope asked. She needed the escape, to get out of here and find some sense of peace before she dove into filming.
“Yes.” Wade gave her another sad look.
“Thanks.” Hope walked away from the studio and down the small hall toward the dressing rooms. She slipped into the one that she’d been given and immediately stripped out of her clothes and got dressed in the outfit she’d shown up in.
The quiet in the room hit her at once. It was so still in there. She’d never noticed that before. Leaning over the vanity counter, Hope dropped her chin to her chest and closed her eyes. She breathed deeply. She’d thought that this break would have been more productive than it had. But being here, she found herself rooted in the turmoil of what was coming next and the fact that her life was about to spin into chaos again. Unfortunately, right when she’d found a calm, centered place.
“You ready, boss?” Lyric’s voice reached her ears, and Hope couldn’t stop the smile from lighting up her face.
God, it was so nice to see a friendly face, and Lyric was always going to be that for her.
“You didn’t bring Ange, did you?” Hope asked. She couldn’t stop herself before the question was out of her mouth. Wade had told her that Angelica wouldn’t be there, but there was still some measure of hope that she would show up, that perhaps she was just running late.
“No, she’s in Colorado for a few more days.”
“Oh.” The disappointment in her voice hit her ears before the embarrassment did. She really shouldn’t be asking after Angelica. They’d been right to put space between them during the break, while Hope had dealt with her divorce and custody and figuring out what exactly her life was going to look like moving forward, but it still stung. “I just thought…”
“That she’d be here since she has been the last two times?”
“Yeah.” Hope nodded slowly. “I guess I’ll see her soon.”
“I think there’s a production meeting at the end of the week, isn’t there?”
“Oh, maybe.” Hope sighed as she followed Lyric out of the room and down the hallway. She was half a step behind as they walked toward the car that Lyric always drove when they were in Los Angeles. “I haven’t looked at my calendar yet.”
She honestly hadn’t. She’d been so caught up in trying to arrange childcare and interviewing new nannies with Rex that she’d barely had time to look at her schedule and when she was supposed to be where. It was a miracle she’d made it to the photo shoot on time that day.
“How are you?” Lyric paused as she opened the front passenger door for Hope. “I haven’t had much of a chance to catch up with you.”
“Oh, I’m good.”
Lyric cocked her head to the side, studying Hope deeply. She nodded once and then waited for Hope to slip into the car before shutting the door. She walked around to the driver’s side and slid behind the wheel, but she didn’t start the engine. Hope looked at her curiously until Lyric faced her. Her gaze was intense, but it was filled with kindness and compassion.
“How are you? Really.”
Hope’s eyes watered instantly. Her nose stopped up. God, she hated this. She’d thought she’d gotten past this in the last few months, but having Lyric ask her this now, ask her with such openness and seeming to really want an honest answer—it was too much.
“Hope.” Lyric whispered her name as she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Hope’s shoulders and tugged her in for a hug.
Hope breathed in Lyric’s scent. She closed her eyes and rested on the woman as much as she could, needing the touch and the presence and the communication and everything that Lyric gave her. She’d had no one through this. She was barely talking to Rachel. They’d managed to make it through the family Christmas by avoiding each other, but the whole family kept telling Hope that she and Rachel needed to figure their shit out.
But she wasn’t ready for that.
And she didn’t feel like she had done anything against Rachel.
Hope breathed in deeply and backed away, putting space between them. “It’s been hard.”
“I can only imagine,” Lyric said, giving Hope a small smile. “Talk to me about it. I promise, whatever’s said in the car stays in the car.”
Laughing lightly at that, Hope sat back in her seat and put her belt in place. “My life has been a shitshow since we wrapped. Probably just before then, if I’m being honest.”
“And? What happened?”
“Rex filed for divorce.” Hope frowned. “He served me when I was doing press with Angelica, so she was right there when the server handed it to me.”
“Oh my God. Asshole.” Lyric smiled as she looked over at Hope.
Hope grinned. God, she’d needed a friend so much. Why hadn’t she called Lyric before now? Right. Because she was undeniably intertwined with Angelica, and to talk to Lyric meant Hope would have to think about that part of her life which was also a disaster. She’d broken up with Angelica to save her marriage only for it to fall apart moments later. She’d been too late.
It was her own choices that had gotten Hope here, but that didn’t mean that it hurt any less or more than if it’d been out of her control.
“He brought the nanny to the premiere.”
“He did not!” Lyric’s eyes widened instantly as she pulled out onto the road.
“He did.” Hope whimpered. “God, that was awful. Talk about a rebound. It lasted maybe two months before he put an end to it, which devastated Eva.” Hope sighed. “We’ve both screwed up so much with her lately. We’re trying to do better now, but this is a whole new life we’re navigating, and it’s hard. I haven’t been single since I was in my twenties and now I’m nearly forty!”
Lyric shook her head. “If you say you’re old, I’ll have to remind you most emphatically that you’re not.”
“Ha, not old, but certainly getting older.” Hope groaned and ran her fingers through her hair. She shook her head and settled into her seat more fully. “I wish I’d done so many things differently.”
“Like what?”
“So many things.” Hope wasn’t about to drop those bombs on Lyric. Some things did need to remain a secret. At least for a while longer until she got her feet under her and figured out how her relationship with Angelica was going to play out. Hope breathed slowly. “How’s…Ange?”
Lyric’s lips twitched, much in the way Hope had seen Angelica’s do when she was trying to hide her smile, but then she flicked her gaze to Hope and focused back on the road. “She’s doing okay, I think. She’s spent a lot of time in Colorado this year.”
“Didn’t she do that last break?”
“Yeah. I think she likes it there.” Lyric’s lips pulled tight. “But I wasn’t able to spend as much time with her this break as before. I was stuck here doing things she needed me to do.”
“Ah.” Hope rubbed her hands together in her lap. She really should stop asking about Angelica. It was just putting more hurt in her heart than there was before. “This season is going to be interesting to film. Will you be around for it?”
“Wouldn’t miss it!” Lyric grinned fully. “Have you and Rex talked about what’ll happen?”
“Not yet. But we probably need to.” Hope breathed in and out slowly. She’d been avoiding that topic, because it wasn’t the only conversation she had to have. She needed to talk to Angelica about it as much as she needed to talk to Rex. Everything was so tangled up, and while she’d spent the break untangling some of it, it was still in a messy knot.
“I’m excited to go to Maine. I’ve never been there before.”
“Same. I’ve heard it’s beautiful.”
Hope continued the conversation, keeping it light and at surface level. She was glad that she’d found someone to at least share her pain with, at least the pain that she could share. When it came to Angelica, well, no one could know about that. This was a secret she was determined to keep.
Chapter
Three
“Everything’s all set, Ms. Shields.”
“Thank you.” Angelica nodded, but she didn’t look up at Lyric. She wasn’t prepared for this conversation, but she and Rex had thought it’d be a good idea, considering all the drama that was likely to come out when they started filming. Hope had a short temper, and Angelica was damn sure that she’d throw something around once they were together.
“Was there anything else you needed?”
“No, thank you.” Angelica still had her nose buried in her iPad.
“A hug? A shot of vodka? A beer?”
Angelica furrowed her brow and looked up to meet Lyric’s gaze. “Excuse me?”
“You seem tense.”
Setting the stylus on top of her desk, Angelica looked Lyric over from head to toe before she let her gaze linger on Lyric’s face. She wasn’t going to say a damn thing until Lyric spoke again. She was going to let Lyric dig her own grave on this one.
“I uh…” Lyric stuttered. “It was just a comment.”
Angelica breathed slowly, still keeping her silence. She wasn’t ready to open that can of worms, but the fact that Lyric was calling her out on her stress meant that she wasn’t hiding it as well as she thought she was, either. Angelica waited, still keeping her gaze on Lyric’s face.
“I didn’t mean to offend you.” Lyric’s voice dropped with guilt.
“No offense taken,” Angelica finally spoke. “Thank you, Lyric.”
She made sure the dismissal was clear. Angelica went back to focusing on her iPad and the report she was reviewing. She had twenty minutes before her meeting was set to begin, and she needed to finish this first. Next, she had to fill out the reference information for Leanne, which she should probably do before her meeting as well because she certainly wouldn’t be in a mood to write it afterward. And Leanne needed it by the end of the day. Angelica couldn’t hold it off any longer.
“Hey.”
Hope’s voice reached Angelica’s ears, rocking through her. Everything she’d been working on was instantly forgotten—the reports, Leanne’s reference. She raised her gaze with hesitation, her eyes landing on Hope.
Her breath was stolen.
All of her faculties vanished.
Angelica trembled as she pushed out of her chair and stood up, her feet moving of their own accord. Hope stepped deeper into her office, the door swinging shut behind her so they were alone. Angelica’s heart thudded hard. She couldn’t remember the last time they were alone like this, when the world surrounding them was calm and gentle, when they weren’t screaming at someone or trying to hurt each other.
She still hadn’t said anything. Angelica looked Hope over, her full lips, her crystalline eyes, and the way her hair was now chopped short against her head, buzzed along the sides and the back, but with the top a bit longer.
“You cut your hair.” Angelica’s voice was so wispy, like she was a breath away from passing out. Which, with the way her knees were still weak and numb, perhaps wasn’t that far from the truth. The thundering in her chest hadn’t stopped either. Her fingers itched to reach up and brush her fingers across Hope’s hair.
“I did,” Hope said, nothing more than a whisper to echo Angelica’s.
Why were they being so damn quiet? They were never this quiet.
Angelica licked her lips, raising her gaze once again from Hope’s eyes to her hair, and she let her body lead her. Lifting her hand, Angelica brushed her fingers across the edge of Hope’s hair. Her breath caught in her throat. Hope closed her eyes, her face falling in a brief moment of pleasure, and then she hummed.
That sound wrapped itself around Angelica and held her hostage.
Instead of moving her hand away, she trailed her fingers down and lightly brushed them over Hope’s cheek. Her skin was so soft, so warm. Hope bit her lip, her eyes flying open to lock on Angelica’s. “My hairdresser said it was too butch.”
“No,” Angelica murmured. “No, it’s you.”
Clearing her throat and dropping her hand to her side, Angelica took a step back to put some space between them. She really shouldn’t have done that. But she’d been so compelled to just touch. She breathed slowly and tried her damnedest to refocus her mind on why they were really there. But it was fucking difficult with Hope standing there in tight jeans, a black shirt, and a long yellow overcoat that was far more fashion-forward than Angelica had seen her wear in the past.
“You’ve lost weight, Ange.”
Angelica’s shoulder stiffened as she halted all of her movement. “Excuse me?”
“Not…” Hope paused, biting her lower lip. “Not in a good way,” she finished her thought. “I hope… I didn’t want… I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. Is everything okay?”
“I’m fine.” Angelica hardened, pulling on the mask and the armor that she typically wore. She shouldn’t have ever let it drop. Though Hope might have been the first one to say it out loud, Angelica had also noticed her weight drop when her clothes didn’t fit quite as snuggly as they had before. It hadn’t been intentional, but she also struggled to remember to eat most days since filming ended, to the point that Lyric was bringing her meals and clicking her tongue in disappointment when there was hardly anything eaten.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” Hope sighed heavily. “Ange, we need to talk—”
“Hey there!” Rex’s voice boomed through the room, sending a shock wave through Angelica and shutting Hope up in an instant. Angelica looked up, finding him standing in the doorway of her office, no Eva in sight this time. Damn, was she disappointed by that, but she’d survive. She could really use Eva’s buffer right about now. It’d be an easy way to get rid of this tension that had built up in her chest.
“Hey.” Angelica flashed him a quick smile. “I’m just finishing up an email and then I can be with you.”
“All right. Cadence is just parking her car, and she should be here in a minute.”
Angelica hummed, but she was already focusing on the iPad again, emailing off the reference, closing out of the report, and ignoring the fact that Hope hadn’t stopped intently staring at her despite her abnormal quiet. “There.”
She snagged her iPad and walked toward the conference table where they’d have the meeting. She barely even looked up at Rex or Hope. She was being pulled every which way and wasn’t sure which direction she could stop and focus on. None, really. Because they had a show to film and she didn’t have the time to ruminate in the pain that was last season or the fact that she couldn’t control herself when Hope was around even now, all these months later.
This really needed to be her last season.
She wasn’t sure if a renewal for season four would be worth it, and there was a niggling voice in the back of her head wishing renewal wouldn’t happen so she wouldn’t have to be the one to make that choice.
Both Hope and Rex sat at her conference table, and Angelica froze.
Was this actually the first time the three of them had been in a room together since the premiere disaster? Angelica clenched her jaw. And that had been in this very office. She’d dragged both Rex and Hope down here to let them have it out without others around to witness it because Rex had pulled what no ex should pull. He’d brought the nanny as his date for the event. Rebound at its finest, and anyone could have called that.
They all sat in silence, awkwardly staring at each other as the two exes flanked either side of her. So much for using Rex as a bit of a shield today. Angelica had hoped that might be a possibility. Instead, she looked from one to the other and then toward the door. Cadence and Josef could show up at any point, and she’d be happy with that.
That would be a tension she understood, one she knew how to deal with.
Hope was the first one to break the silence, which didn’t surprise anyone. “Ange, we should probably talk after this.”
“I…” Angelica looked directly into Hope’s crystalline eyes. Her heart shuddered, the pain building so quickly and consuming her. She had to swallow it down. She had to shove it away and put it back into the box it came in. Why had she touched Hope like that? As though the intimacy and connection between them hadn’t been broken? Angelica inwardly cringed, trying to breathe in without smelling Hope’s unique scent, without remembering the way they’d stared longingly into each other’s eyes only seconds ago.
“Hey there, friends!” Cadence slid into the room like she owned it before stopping suddenly. She looked around the conference table, her gaze lingering on each one of them curiously. “Who died?”
