As much as I wanted to, I really couldn't argue with the logic. It might sicken me, but Lanea was a grown woman, and this was her choice. "One condition. I have a little of my own justice I want to give Sennit."

  "You'll get your chance before she kills him."

  "Good." I lit a smoke, which reminded me of why I should leave, and not come back. "Got a question for you. This is going forward, right? Whether I'm around or not?"

  "It can't be stopped. Why? You taking your woman and leaving?"

  "Not taking her. You'll keep her safe from Sennit until he's gone?" My lungs went tight, reminding me to fucking breathe.

  "How you going to show him justice if you leave?"

  "I'll stick around long enough for that. Just might not always be visible." Gut-churning fear threatened to consume me. Could I really walk away? Could I live without her?

  Two Case shook his head. "She'll be safe. But, no offense, man, you're making a massive mistake. She's a good woman."

  I swallowed hard, trying to keep from emptying my stomach right there on the floor. "Yeah, she is. That's the point. Good women don't make it long in the MC life. It's too much for them. And I can't leave it behind."

  "The women you Raiders pick must be a different breed then. Out here, good women stand by their man, no matter what. You have to treat them right, shield them a little from the worst parts. But you owe it to her to let her decide."

  So maybe he was right. That didn't change things, though. All the way back to the room, I thought about it. What would Sarah think of me when she learned the kinds of things I actually did? Love or respect sure as fuck wouldn't be at the top of her list. I'd rather her hate me for leaving than for the way I lived.

  Sarah:

  I lay there for a long time after he left, trying to hold the tears at bay. I felt it, as clearly as if he slapped me. One moment he was warm, close, loving, and the next, a door slammed closed and he was suddenly distant. The connection disappeared. Whatever happened, I missed him.

  Eventually I gave up the battle and let the sobs come. Had I lost him, before I even really had him? Instinct told me yes. My tears stopped after a time, and I stared at the ceiling, searching for some solution in the shadows the light from the window cast over the irregularities of the paint.

  A faint sound at the door brought me back to reality in a flash. The scent of his cigarette preceded him into the room. "I was starting to think you'd gotten lost."

  "Shit, sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." He fiddled with the door for a moment.

  "You didn't." I sat up in bed. "I couldn't sleep."

  The tip of his cigarette glowed. "No fucking wonder. Lot going on lately."

  "That's putting it mildly." He clearly had no intention of talking about exactly what kept me awake. And I was pretty sure he knew.

  "I'm gonna grab a shower. Try to get some rest." And just like that, he ended the conversation, closing the bathroom door firmly behind him.

  My tears threatened to start again, but I kept taking deep breaths, holding them back. He had a lot on his mind, too, unless he made a habit of pretending to fall in love with women, then leaving. Somehow, I didn't think he was the type for that.

  I played everything back in my head, from the time we arrived here. He had seemed so intense about his feelings for me, so certain. And then, after we made love in the shower, just all of a sudden, he pulled back. It made no sense. This whole time, he pressed me, with his talk about a future, and spending the rest of his life with me. Without that, thoughts of a real future with him probably would never have taken root in my mind. Of course, I would have dreamed of it, but I'd have known it couldn't happen. We were from two different worlds. So what happened to change it all?

  Sleep still refused to come by the time he turned the shower off. A few moments later, he came out, and his scent hit me like a wave of pleasure. When had I come to associate the smell of whatever soap he used with the ecstasy he could give me? A glimpse of his bare chest took my breath away, and I allowed my gaze to go lower, only to stop cold. He always came to bed nude, but this time, he wore a pair a baggy shorts.

  The lump formed in my throat immediately, and threatened to choke me. He had a very clear way of making things known. It was over. For him, at least. My chest wanted to crack into pieces as he climbed into bed and lay carefully on his side, rather than folding me into his arms like he always did. Over.

  For the longest time, I watched him, as his breathing evened out and his body relaxed into sleep. The questions ran through my mind in an endless stream. What happened? Had I done something wrong? Why did he even come back if he wanted to end things with me? I almost thought that would have been more merciful. This change in him really hurt.

  At some point, I dozed off, but a sleepless night would have been better than the pain-filled dreams that chased me. I woke slowly, warm and secure with the heat of Crank's erection pressing against my hip. A nightmare. That's all it was. A terrible dream.

  Then he tensed, and carefully pulled away from me.

  Not a dream. Real. My body ached with the absence of his touch.

  In any other situation, I would have accepted things and gone away quietly. I wasn't the type to really speak out. When I called him, angry that he ignored me after he went home, was the first time I asserted myself that much, especially with a man. Something of his attitude must have rubbed off on me.

  I sat up, not bothering to pull the sheet over my breasts, and turned to face him. "Crank, what's going on?"

  He looked up at me, inscrutable expression giving away nothing. "What do you mean?"

  "You. One minute you're talking about the future, then you can't get away from me fast enough. So what's going on? Did you decide you don't want to be tied down to one woman, after all? Or did I do or say something wrong?"

  For a fleeting second, something that looked like pain crossed his face, then it was gone, replaced by a frown. "I don't know what you're talking about." He got up with an abrupt movement, and turned to face me, hands at his sides. "This is me, Sarah. Nothing fancy. Nothing sentimental. I'm not an easy man to get along with." He made a noise that sounded like a smothered groan, and disappeared into the bathroom. When he came out, he was fully dressed. "I'm going to see if they have anything new yet." The door didn't slam behind him, but it made a firm point. He considered the subject closed.

  Pain evaporated, replaced by anger. If he thought I was going to make this easy for him, he'd better think again. Where did he get off, thinking he could dangle forever in front of a girl like that, and then just snatch it back?

  I started with a long shower, and took extra care with my hair and makeup. The limited wardrobe I'd managed to bring along made things a little more difficult. In the end, I ended up choosing a pair of snug jeans, ones I normally wouldn't wear for anything more than hanging around the house. I topped it off with a tank top that belonged under another top, but it showed the upper curves of my breasts, and I knew how much Crank liked those.

  The woman who stared back at me from the mirror was a stranger, determined, sexy, and ready to fight for what she wanted. Where on earth did she come from? Doubt assailed me for a moment, but I took a deep breath, and turned to the door. No turning back.

  Panic struck when I knocked on the door of the room where Two Case and the others set up their listening post. Would he even be there? If not, I could be in a lot of trouble. I didn't know those men.

  Then the door opened, and it was too late for regrets. Two Case's eyes widened, and he gave a low whistle. "Well, good morning to you, too. Come in."

  I stepped inside the room, trying not to look too anxious as I looked around for Crank, and didn't spot him immediately.

  "Your ol' man went up the street to snag us some real coffee." Two Case grinned. "You got that boy wrapped pretty tight." He glanced at the other man in the room, seated before a laptop attached to a bunch of equipment, spread over the small table. "This here is Gator, and no, not because he's Cajun, or any shit like that."

  I gave a careful smile. "Hi, Gator." I turned back to Two Case. "Am I supposed to ask why he's called that?"

  His broad grin took me by surprise. "He fed his ol' lady's ex to a gator. Literally."

  The blood drained from my face. "Oh."

  The man with the murderous name glanced up from whatever he was doing. "Don't let him fool you. Bastard deserved it. Came after her while I was inside, and beat the hell out of her and our kid."

  "Oh." How very eloquent of me. I was in so far over my head with these people, it was laughable, like something from a movie. "Was she happy when you did it?"

  Gator nodded, pleased with the question. "She fed the gator the first finger while the fucker watched and screamed. He made her life a living hell for three years."

  I gave a careful smile. When in Rome, right? "It's good he can't hurt her anymore, then."

  Two Case pulled over a straight-back chair. "Here, have a seat. We'll catch you up on everything while Crank is gone."

  I seemed to have passed some sort of test, judging by their demeanors. For the next twenty minutes, they told me about what happened to Lanea the night before, and how her morning was going. When I heard what that monster did to her, I retched in sympathy.

  "We have to get her out of there."

  Gator shook his head. "No, ma'am. She wouldn't want that. If she wants out, she'll let us know. In the old days, she would have been a warrior, fighting alongside the rest of us. This is how she can fight now, and she wants to do it. Needs to."

  I nodded. It made a weird kind of sense to me. Everything inside me might weep for what she was going through, and demand her rescue, but I could still equate her actions with my own. I had been reprimanded for taking risks at work several times. "Then we need to get it over with as quickly as possible."

  Two Case gave me a look, as if reassessing my value, and finding himself surprised. "I have to be honest, Miss Channing, I didn't think you would take it this well."

  "I'm not. But I know she has a job to do, and she wants to succeed. And call me Sarah."

  He nodded as a knock came at the door. I stood while he went to open it, and tried to make myself small and invisible. Gator noticed, and gave me a wary look and a raised eyebrow, but said nothing.

  Crank came in and placed two large bags carefully on the table. "Think I got everything." The way he looked at me betrayed his surprise to see me there, but he didn't say anything. He rummaged in one of the bags, pulling out creamer packs, then cups of coffee. "Sarah, I wasn't sure you'd be up, but I got you coffee, too."

  At least he wasn't a total ass. "Thanks." I took the cup, added creamer, and stood back to wait.

  He sat on the edge of one of the beds. "There's some donuts and shit in the other bag. Figured breakfast was in order."

  "You figured right." Gator rose from his seat and went to search through the goodies. He chose a plain glazed donut, the offered the box to me. "Here, Sarah, I'm sure you're starving, too."

  I couldn't help it. I gave him a sweet smile. "Aw, thank you, Gator. Such a gentleman." As I took the lemon-filled goodness from the box, I didn't miss Crank's scowl, but he stayed silent.

  Emboldened, I sat on the bed beside him. "Did you enjoy your walk?"

  He turned to me, his eyes immediately flaring with heat as they settled on my cleavage. "I did. It was a change of pace for me."

  I took a big bite of my donut, careful to lick away some of the lemon filling. "Good. Time to think is always good."

  He shifted a little, as if he were uncomfortable. "Not always." A careless sip of his coffee burned his tongue, bringing a hiss to his lips.

  Taking advantage, I pressed close. "Are you okay?" I put my own cup safely on the little night table, and raised a finger to his lips.

  His surprised breath puffed against my fingertip. "Yeah, I'll live." His lips clung to my skin a little.

  Gator interrupted with a curse. "Sounds like Lanea will meet Sennit today." He clicked something on the computer, and hushed voices came through the speakers.

  Crank:

  "You do exactly what he say. You don't, we all pay for it."

  "I can't. Not after last night." Lanea sounded truly panicked.

  "You ain't no better than the rest of us. We all have to do it. You do, too. So fuckin' deal." The other girl's anger threatened to spill over. "He be here at nine, like for his regular visit. You go wit' him, and you do whatever he want. You make him real happy."

  The wire went quiet, as if the other girl left the room. Gator and Two Case sat there, looking as furious as I felt.

  "Will we be able to get the others today?" Sarah's voice cut through the tension in the room.

  "Doubt it." I shrugged. "He'll want to sample the goods before he offers her to paying customers." No way I could get that lucky and wrap this shit all up today, and be able to leave Sarah to live the life she was supposed to have.

  She leaned against me, looking for reassurance, and I automatically slipped my arm around her before I realized it. "I hate for her to go through all this."

  "Yeah, well, she went in knowing exactly what would happen." The words nearly choked me. "She's a grown woman, and this is her choice. Whatever happens is on her." Sounding like a total douche should get that starry-eyed look off Sarah's face.

  Anger flared in her eyes. Bingo. "Knowing what will happen and living through it are two different things. And no, it isn't on her. It's on us. We came up with this brilliant plan. We put her in this position. So if she's hurt, it's our fault." She slid one hand along my forearm. "I know you hate this as much as I do, even if you are trying to act like it doesn't matter."

  Well, fuck. I kept my voice down, rather than bring the other men into it. "Sarah, you're seeing good in me that doesn't fucking exist." That much was true, at least. I might try to fool myself sometimes by believing I lived by some moral code all my own, but when it came down to it, I was just a thug. Nothing more. And she deserved so much better.

  "Crank, when you done ragging, I need a word with you." Gator's ominous tone raised my hackles. The man was hard to read, so I couldn't gauge what might be on his mind.

  Partly to escape Sarah, I stood. "What's up?"

  He lifted his chin. "Outside." He lit a smoke and went out the door.

  I followed, ready to throw down if necessary. That ragging comment of his hadn't gone unnoticed. Inside the room, Two Case's voice rumbled, and I knew he was distracting Sarah from whatever Gator had on his mind.

  Gator waited, leaning against the wall outside the door. I took a position not far away, but far enough, and leaned back a little, shoulders against the wall, and crossed my ankles. At least I didn't have to wait forever for him to get to the point.

  Gator took a heavy drag from his cigarette. "Ain't my place to say, man, but I’m saying it anyways. You are fucking up, in a big way. You got a good woman there."

  Annoyance surged. Who the fuck did he think he was? "You're right. It ain't your place to say. You ain't my momma. So fuck off." I straightened, ready to go back inside.

  "Hol' up, there, motherfucker. No, I ain't your momma, but I like Sarah. I'd hate like hell to see a good woman like her hurt for no good reason. So whatever mind fuck you got going on, get the fuck over it, brother. She don't deserve that shit." A heavy scowl and clenched fists guaranteed his seriousness.

  "What the fuck do you know about her? You met her, what, ten minutes ago?" Another man defending my woman got under my skin. Bad.

  He nodded. "Yeah, about that. Girl did not bat a lash when she heard how I got my name. She asked if it made my ol' lady happy. No disgust. No horror. She's the only citizen that has ever just accepted my reasons." The ash from his cigarette came dangerously close to hitting my boot, too close to a serious insult. "So it might not be my business, but I'm making it my business. What the fuck ever crawled up your ass, get your shit straight and treat her right. Don't treat that girl like a piece of shit junkie whore you're sick of having in your bed."

  I sighed, suddenly exhausted. The fucker was right. "Better to hurt her feelings now, so she's nice and pissed at me when I leave."

  "So you don't want nothing from her but a piece of ass while you're in town. That what's going on?"

  Anger allowed the fucking words to slip out. "No. I want a life with her, want to marry her, put babies in her belly. But that can't happen." Fuck, I should just cut my own throat and get this shit over with.

  "What, you got a wife back home?" He narrowed his eyes, more pissed than before.

  "No. All you have to do is open your fucking eyes and look at her. She's a good girl. The kind that marries the high school football coach, organizes bake sales, and has a little white picket fence around the whole fucking thing." I swallowed hard. "And I'm a thug. Same as you. Can't drag her into the life, and can't leave it either."

  Gator stared at me for a long time, and I nearly walked away. "You are the dumbest motherfucking individual I have ever met. She's strong. She's the kind of bitch you make shit work for, because you can't live without her. But that's okay, man. I know plenty of boys who'll gladly pick up the pieces once you're out of the picture." He lifted a hand in a mock salute and went back inside.

  I stood there, pinned to the wall like a goddamn fly by his words. Then I shook it off. What the fuck did he know? Absolutely nothing, that's what. I went back inside, fuming, and ready for a fight.

  Sarah looked up at me from where she still sat on the bed. "He's there."

  My gut tightened. Why the fuck had I thought this was a good idea? God help me if I had to listen to that kid being raped. Yeah, she might be grown, technically, but her lack of experience made her a fucking kid. Jaw clenched with fury, I dropped into the empty chair. Couldn't go back to sitting next to Sarah. A soft word, or a touch, from her could undo all my resolve at this point.

  "This is Lanea, our new girl." The male voice from last night echoed over the computer speakers. "Lanea, tell Mr. Sennit you're glad to meet him."

  "H-h-hello, sir. Pleased to meet you." Fuck, she sounded terrified.

 

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