Mason didn’t mean to make Jesse feel worse, but his response only sparked his curiosity even more. He had questions. “I’ve never read it, but I do read a lot. Not as much as I would like because of work, and usually when I get home I go for a run, so really that only leaves a few minutes for—” Mason cut off his own awkward babbling, feeling his cheeks warm, and for his embarrassment, Jesse rewarded him with a warm, shy smile.

  “Reading is all I can do out here.” Jesse looked around him, his smile waning fast. “I can’t use my phone or laptop, so I’m glad the club thought to use paperbacks when it was formed. We meet in cafes, drink coffee, eat pastries… the whole nine yards… like a throwback to nineties literature.”

  “That sounds amazing.”

  “It was… is… I mean will be again, soon.”

  “Really?”

  Jesse eyed him carefully, and Mason finally had to ask; he couldn’t wait another second. “What’s going on, Jesse? Why are you out here? I’m looking at you, your clothes, the way you speak to authority figures. You’re not a homeless kid, are you?”

  Jesse flinched and turned away

  “I don’t mean to pry. I just thought—”

  “Did they send you to talk to me?” Jesse spun around, his fist clenched at his sides. “To get information on Worm?”

  Mason stepped closer. “No one sent me, Jesse. And who is ‘they’? Is someone named Worm after you—is that why you’re hanging around here?”

  “No one sent you?” Jesse said, a bit quieter and less hostile.

  “No. I was jogging and I saw you over here, alone… I just wanted to check and see how you were doing.” Mason stood close enough that Jesse couldn’t mistake the real reason why he was there. “I wanted to ask you to lunch. Maybe we could talk.”

  Jesse looked stunned enough to be knocked over with a stick. Then a haze of longing and desperation collided in his eyes. “Lunch.”

  “Yes.” Mason nodded. “Just lunch. I’m not here on a covert mission to retrieve information.”

  “Good,” Jesse damn near growled. “Because I’m over it. My friend messed up, not me. Somehow I’ll get enough money to get back home.”

  Oh yeah. Mason had a lot of questions.

  Jesse

  “Would you like another plate, Jesse?” Mason asked softly, sitting across from him in the booth.

  Jesse glanced up for the first time since the sweet waitress with the silver hair had placed a plate piled high with chicken and waffles in front of him. He noticed that Mason had barely consumed a quarter of his plate of smoked salmon and egg-salad baguettes before Jesse had already cleaned his plate. He was humiliated, but he’d been far too hungry to allow his pride to win. He felt like the biggest loser sitting across from Officer Ellis Mason in his clean, casual clothes and his wintery cologne that smelled of pine and freshly fallen snow. And all the heavens, that beautiful smile. That smile just made Jesse want to trust any and everything Ellis said. He hadn’t spoken much since they’d sat down and ordered—mostly because his mouth had been full—and Mason hadn’t bombarded him with questions… yet. He’d simply stayed quiet while Jesse gorged.

  Did Mason really not know about that crazy-ass task force leaning on him or about his criminal friend? Because if he didn’t, he didn’t want Mason involved at all. He didn’t want to use the man more than he already felt he was. No. He wanted Mason around for an entirely different reason. Solely for him.

  Jesse wiped his mouth, then shook his head, regretfully declining the extra plate. It may not have been his best decision because a few pieces of breaded chicken to go would sure come in handy around ten o’clock tonight, but for now he’d just be grateful with what he got. The small bakery was warm and inviting, the staff as sweet as the pies in the display case.

  Jesse inhaled deeply, moisture welling up behind his closed lids, but he kept his emotions in check. The bakery smelled the way his mom’s kitchen used to on Sunday mornings, when she’d wake him up with hot chocolate and sticky buns before she went to church. Sometimes he’d go with her because she loved to show him off to her friends.

  “Are you okay, Jesse?” Mason asked again in that goddamn voice that made Jesse’s rib cage clench painfully around his heart.

  He’d always fantasized about having a good man in his life, someone who was kind and gentle but so very strong. The kind of man his mom told him he deserved and to never settle for less. Now that he’d met someone spectacular, Jesse was nothing more than a homeless drifter with a degree he couldn’t use because he had no address. He’d used the few bucks he had in his bank account last week when he rented a shabby hotel room on New Year’s Eve. He’d had to. It’d been madness on the streets, and Jesse was afraid to be out there alone. The shelter was overfull, and he’d needed the hot shower and a bed to sleep on. Not on an unforgiving wooden bench or with his back against the cutting bark of a spruce tree. Jesse blinked, trying to remember what day it was. The last time he’d slept felt like ages ago. Jesse realized that time moved differently on the streets. Much slower.

  “I’m okay, Officer Mason.” Jesse sighed. “Just tired.”

  “Please. Call me Ellis. I’m not on duty, and I’m not an interrogator when I am,” Mason offered.

  Mason took a sip of his caramel latte, his light pink tongue peeking out to catch the foam that clung to his upper lip. Jesse quickly dropped his gaze from Mason’s mouth, not wanting to get caught gawking. All Mason had offered was a meal; now Jesse was staring at him as if the man could be his dessert. Because there was nothing in that bakery that smelled more appetizing than Mason.

  “Okay then. Ellis.” Jesse narrowed his eyes. “Did you seriously want to just check on me like you said? No one sent you to talk to me… no other cops?” No other big, scary, intense detectives?

  Mason put down his last baguette and pinned Jesse with a hard look that made him feel like submitting. Oh hell. Jesse squirmed in his seat as Mason leaned in, closing most of the distance between them, and Jesse found himself gravitating toward the center as well.

  “This is the second time you’ve asked me that. The first time I answered it was ‘no.’ Now I’m saying it again… and hopefully for the last time. No one sent me. I came to you because I was think—”

  Jesse almost stopped breathing when Mason cut himself off. Was he about to confess he’d been thinking about him? Mason glanced around nervously, then cleared his throat. He took another drink as if was gathering himself, and Jesse wondered if Mason was second-guessing being around him, especially since he looked so… raggedy.

  “I was thinking of the way you came and helped me after I fell the other week, so, y’know.” Mason sighed. “I thought I’d buy you a meal and say thanks. With the way things have been going around here, someone would’ve kicked me and taken my wallet rather than helped me up.”

  Jesse snarled. “That I believe. This city is insane. Why the hell is everyone so mean and the police so suspicious?”

  “It’s the drugs,” Mason answered quickly, staring out the tall windows at the bustling neighborhood. “It’s taking over… again.”

  Jesse was quiet for so long that Mason snapped his head back to him. “Did I say something wrong?”

  “No.”

  “Jesse. I’m telling you the truth when I say that no other cops or anyone else sent me to talk to you. But… if you’re in trouble…” Mason leaned toward him as if he had an aura that could soothe if Jesse could just get close enough. “I can help you.”

  Jesse was already shaking his head. If Mason truly wasn’t involved, he was going to keep it that way. And he didn’t want Mason tracking down that God and his narcotics super detectives, ruffling their feathers and possibly getting himself in trouble.

  “Why are you shaking your head? I know you really have no reason to trust me but—”

  “It’s not that, Ellis.” Jesse stared into Mason’s rich brown eyes. “I just don’t want you involved. My friend got himself in this mess, and he’ll have to get himself out of it.”

  “Your friend.”

  Jesse stared at Mason for a long moment before accepting that he could trust him and that he wasn’t lying about working on Worm’s case or for Lieutenant Godfrey. Once the waitress, who’d introduced herself as Erlene, had cleared their empty plates, she quickly brought over a plate of a half dozen hot glazed donuts and set them between them.

  “They’re on the house. Enjoy.” She smiled, then stood there watching Mason as if she had more to say.

  “Yes, Erlene?” Mason chuckled.

  She blushed in the cutest way Jesse had ever seen, before asking politely, “So how’s Joshua doing today?”

  “Clark is good, Erlene. Probably already camped out in front of his television for a long evening of ESPN highlights and Hungry Man frozen meals.”

  She scoffed and waved her hand. “Ugh, that sounds dreadful.”

  “Maybe you should call him and see if he’s up for a little something healthier?” Mason said casually, but Jesse could see he was playing matchmaker. “He’s been told to watch his salt intake, but… you know us men.”

  “Oh no. High cholesterol can be deadly if not managed properly,” she said with her eyebrows raised almost to her silver hairline. “You really think he wouldn’t mind if I called?”

  “Absolutely not,” Jesse and Mason said at the same time, then smiled—dare he say—flirtatiously at each other.

  Erlene giggled, and Jesse fell a little more for her. If he’d had a grandmother—if she hadn’t abandoned her only daughter—Jesse would’ve wanted her to be just like Erlene. “You boys enjoy the donuts.”

  Jesse waited until she was far enough away, then gave Mason an incredulous look. “Donuts… seriously?”

  “Some stereotypes are hard to avoid,” Mason said, then moaned after taking a bite of the fried goodness. “Try one and you’ll see.”

  Jesse didn’t hesitate to dig in. He didn’t moan loud and seductively like Mason… but he wanted to. They were delicious. And as they drank hot coffee and ate the best donuts made on the East Coast, Jesse confided all he could. It’d been a lot easier than he thought because Mason wasn’t difficult to talk to. He listened well and asked questions but not the prying, that’s-none-of-your-business kind.

  “So no sooner did you get off the bus from North Carolina than your friend who you were supposed to be staying with was arrested.”

  “Yeah. And all of our lives I’ve had to come to Worm’s rescue for one reason or another. I’m twenty-four years old, and being back in Felix’s world again feels like I’ve aged an entire lifetime.” Jesse took a deep breath and held it before releasing it slowly. He shook his head in shock. “I actually needed him, really needed my friend this time, and instead of being there, what does he do? He goes and gets himself in trouble. Leaving me out in the cold… literally.”

  “And you don’t want to tell me any more about his crime or his name? I can ask a few department heads—”

  “No, Ellis. Stay out of it. I’m not fixing it for Worm, and I’m not sending anyone to fix it. He didn’t do anything monstrous like murder or assault a person, but it was a crime. Maybe if he suffers a little, he’ll wise up and do better.” Jesse sat back in the booth, fighting exhaustion especially after eating so much. “I don’t know anyone else here, or where to go, or what’s a safe area and what’s not. If I was suddenly homeless in Baltimore or Winston-Salem, I would probably fare better than what I’m doing now.”

  “If you could get the money to go back home… would you go?”

  “That’s a clever way for you to ‘not ask’ why I left home,” Jesse said with a sly smile to show Mason he wasn’t upset about it.

  Mason’s dark cheeks colored beneath his neatly trimmed stubble.

  “It’s okay,” Jesse answered. “If I had the money, no. I’d go anywhere but back to my aunt’s. She wants to believe I’m a liar… but she knows that I’m not. That’s why she said it was best if I left. She trusts my word, always has… but what she doesn’t trust is her husband under the same roof as me.”

  Understanding seemed to set in, and Mason’s warm expression turned pinched and serious. “I’m really sorry to hear that.”

  “Yeah. The closeted gay uncle. It’s a classic tale with all the usual narrative when he got confronted. He immediately went from hurling gay slurs to the ‘I have no clue what he’s talking about’ clear down to the ‘he’s the one that came on to me’ emergency lie.”

  Mason shook his head.

  “What?”

  “You have an interesting way of speaking to be so young.” Mason’s eyes lowered to Jesse’s mouth for a brief moment before he schooled his features. “I like it. You have a kind of dark humor.”

  “And you find that… attractive?”

  “I was gonna say creepy.” Mason chuckled, then stared at Jesse as if he was a complicated riddle. “And maybe a little attractive. Where’d you go to college?”

  “How do you know I—”

  “Give me a break. I may not be a detective, but I’m a good enough cop to recognize the obvious. You’re well educated.”

  Jesse’s chest swelled. It felt as if he’d been on his own, without comfort, without a compliment for far too long. And there was something so disarming about Officer Ellis Mason that Jesse found himself opening himself right up. “I graduated a couple weeks ago from Winston-Salem State with a Bachelor in Elementary Teaching and Education. Or should I say I had enough credits to graduate at the end of this winter session. I could’ve done another semester just for me and took all fun, entertaining classes… but it didn’t work out that way.”

  “Do you want to tell me why?” Mason asked softly, soothingly.

  Jesse closed his eyes. “I wanna tell you everything. And I don’t even know why.”

  Mason was quiet. He knew all the right times to speak and the perfect moments to just sit across from Jesse and look beautiful while he listened. So, Jesse talked. He spoke some about his mother but didn’t stay on that subject long. He told Mason how he threw himself into school to deal with the grief of losing his only parent, and he also told him what he had to contend with whenever he came home on breaks. Without going into why Worm never made it to the bus station to pick him up, he still told Mason the truth… that he had to suck it up until his friend came back.

  “I’m really sorry your plans were derailed, Jesse, but there’s always a way to get back on track.”

  “It’s okay.” He nodded, feeling a bit more confident in such a strong man’s presence, hoping that Mason didn’t see him as a poor helpless victim. “I will be an elementary school teacher one day.” Just not today or tomorrow… or maybe even next month.

  “I’m sure you will too. You’ll be one of those teachers that makes English bearable.”

  Another long, comfortable moment of silence passed between them along with something else in Mason’s eyes that Jesse wouldn’t acknowledge right now. He just couldn’t. He’d seen that look in a man’s eyes plenty of times before, and for the first time in his life, he craved it, desired it, and wanted to reciprocate it. But Jesse was a complete mess and not worthy of a man like Mason. Not yet anyway. All Jesse would be to him was a charity case.

  That’s why when Mason got up to use the restroom, Jesse scribbled on a napkin that he appreciated the meal and would love to return the gesture… in the future.

  Erlene gave him a sorrowful wave as Jesse hurried out of the restaurant and back into the bitter cold.

  Jesse

  Jesse woke to someone roughly trying to get into his pants pocket. “Hey! Let me go!” He hollered, scrambling off the bench he’d been sleeping on.

  It felt as if Jesse had just closed his gritty eyes before he was startled awake. It was still dark outside, and he realized as he struggled that he was fighting against several attackers. His big leather bag was snatched, but Jesse held on to it for dear life. It was all of his possessions, and if he let go, he wouldn’t even be able to wash up at a gas station or change into a relatively clean shirt.

  “Stop it! Someone help me!” Jesse yelled into the darkness, but no one came and his attackers didn’t stop. “Please!”

  “We just want the snow,” one of the men said, sounding desperate and winded. “We just need some more drugs.”

  “I don’t have any goddamn drugs!” Jesse hollered at the junkie just before he was struck between his shoulder blades by something blunt and solid. He went down on his knees, tucking his bag under him. He was jostled and kicked until it all suddenly stopped.

  Jesse heard grunts and shouts of pain, but he didn’t feel any more blows to his body. He was shaking fiercely, too terrified to look up to see if he’d be next.

  “You can get up now, kid,” Jesse heard a man say. “They’re detained.”

  Jesse glanced around him before gazing up and directly into the face of one of God’s men. He didn’t see the big guy anywhere, just the ones he’d called his team… his enforcers on the streets.

  Jesse didn’t think he’d be saying this so soon, if ever at all, but thank you, God, for your men and their impeccable timing.

  “Take some deep breaths, Jesse. You’re all right,” the one Day had called Tech said from his crouched position. “They can’t hurt you.”

  Jesse turned his head to see several men on the ground, hands zip-tied behind their backs with one man standing over them like a guard. He pulled on a black cigarette, the orange embers illuminating his mysterious features for a second before plummeting him back into darkness. A plume of white smoke flowed from his mouth and billowed around his face, which Jesse couldn’t quite make out. What he also noticed was there were six men on the ground moaning and pleading to be let go and only two of God’s men. Tech and the smoldering one that was his partner—Jesse forgot his name. Stab, Strike… Steele. Something.

  Holy shit. They’d taken down his attackers as if they were a kiddy gang. Jesse thought he was going to be beaten to death, but thank goodness he was freezing and wasn’t feeling much pain at the moment. Jesse stood on unstable legs as he tried to slow his breathing. It seemed impossible as his heart beat like a wild bass drum.

 

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