Nobody's Son, page 13
They met in the church parking lot, then drove out into the woods where they parked the vans and loaded their gear on their backs to walk the rest of the way. The half-mile hike to the campsite was extremely difficult for Pop Al. He was sixty-one years old, overweight, and a heavy smoker. Semaj cringed with embarrassment as he wheezed, huffed, and puffed his way along the trail.
Finally they arrived at the campsite, and Pop Al helped them unpack their gear and set up their tent. Afterward, the boys went down to the creek and fished for their dinner. Semaj was beginning to have a great time. Since Pop Al was one of the best fishermen in the county all of the boys and their dads came to him for help with everything from what type of bait to use to how to reel in their fish. With Pop Al’s help, Semaj managed to reel in the biggest catch of the evening.
As they returned to the campsite, Semaj noticed that Pop Al was lagging even farther back than he had earlier. He and Rip stopped to wait for him to catch up.
“Are you all right, Grandpa?” Semaj asked.
“I’m fine. This cold air is just messing with my arthritis,” he answered. He bent down and rubbed his aching knee. “I’ll be all right,” he said.
By the time they got back to the campsite, Pop Al was limping and barely able to move about. The youth leaders huddled all around looking at him with concern.
After watching him for several moments, Mr. Austin, the group leader, spoke up. “I’m sorry to have to do this, Mr. Matthews, but I think you need to cut this trip short and go on home. I’ll have my assistant walk you back to the van and drive you back into town,” he said.
Pop Al protested. “No, I don’t want to disappoint the boys. I’ll be fine. There’s no need for anyone to make a fuss over me. Does anyone have any aspirin I can take? That will ease the pain.”
“No, we didn’t bring anything like that. Besides, I think you leaving would be best for everyone.”
Although he didn’t say it, Mr. Austin was seriously concerned with having such an old man along with them. The last thing he wanted to do was be responsible for his health further declining due to exposure to the weather and any other hazards they might encounter in the woods.
As he and Rip sat in the back of the van with Pop Al in the front and the assistant leader driving them back home, Semaj was livid.
“I can’t believe he did this to me,” he whined.
“He didn’t do anything to you, Semaj. At least he came with us, and we got to have a little fun,” Rip replied.
Semaj sighed. “He tried, I suppose, but if I had my own dad, this never would have happened. You just don’t understand how I feel.”
“Of course I understand. My dad wasn’t there either. I had to borrow your grandfather because I had no one else to ask.”
Glancing up in the front of the van Semaj made sure that his grandfather could not hear him. “He’s good people, but he’s still not my real dad. At least you know where your dad is, and you can even go to the jail and visit him if you wanted to. I don’t even know my dad’s name.”
Rip didn’t respond, so Semaj spent the rest of the ride home staring out the window and sulking.
As he grew up, he longed for a father-and-son relationship. When he’d finally found Wayne he thought his search was over. The irony did not escape Semaj that the one man he’d always felt was the perfect dad was the TV character Henry Forrester, played by Wayne James. Every Monday night, Semaj felt as if he’d practically crawled inside the television in order to spend time with his pretend dad.
He loved watching the episode when Henry’s son Dwayne needed help with his science project, and the two of them built a working volcano with colored baking soda and vinegar. Since it was a comedy, of course, they ended up having it explode all over the kitchen walls. Semaj laughed and thought of how much fun it would be to mess up the kitchen ceiling with his own dad.
Another of his favorite episodes was when Henry and all three of the boys went on a ski trip in the Poconos. While sitting in the lodge sipping cocoa, they had heartwarming talks about how much they truly meant to each other. But the best one of all of the episodes that Semaj had seen was the one when the eldest of Henry’s sons graduated from high school on the show. Wayne’s character was sent out of town on business at the last minute and throughout the episode tensions mounted over whether he’d arrive at the auditorium in time for the commencement exercises. Semaj wanted to stand up in the living room and cheer when, just in the nick of time, as his TV son Rollo was stepping up to the podium to give the commencement address, he showed up and stood in the back listening and beaming with pride.
At his high school graduation, Semaj was also chosen as valedictorian, and he was assigned to give the commencement address. He’d buried his grandparents only two months prior so he knew that neither of them would physically be there. As he stepped up to the podium, wearing his royal blue cap and gown and carrying his speech in his hand, he looked out over the crowd. He realized it was unlikely and by some measures impossible, but he couldn’t help but wish that at the last minute, and just in the nick of time, his father would show up and stand in the back row beaming with pride. Of course it did not happen, and Semaj went home alone that night and cried himself to sleep.
Daydreaming about having a father wasn’t the only way the lack of a dad had affected him. After he moved to Atlanta and began to attend college, Semaj met and briefly dated a woman named Penny. She was his first real girlfriend, first serious relationship, and first sexual encounter. At the end of the semester, he and Penny broke up and she dropped out of school for over a year. When she returned, to everyone’s surprise, she had a young son that she’d named Trevor.
Penny was a private and quiet girl and gossip soon began to circulate around the campus that Semaj was the father of her baby. Feeling confused, betrayed, and most of all, duped, Semaj stormed over to her apartment one afternoon and banged on the door.
“What are you doing here?” she asked when she opened it.
“I came to see my son,” he said flatly.
Penny stared at him in disbelief. “What makes you think that you have a son living here?”
“Do the math, Penny. We broke up, you dropped out of school, and now you have an eight-month-old son. I didn’t grow up with my father, and there’s no way I’m going to allow my son to feel the same level of abandonment that I felt. Now let me see him.”
Penny sighed loudly. She backed up slowly and allowed Semaj to enter. Once inside, he noticed a tall, dark skinned man sitting on the sofa, holding the baby in his lap.
“Who’s this?” Semaj demanded to know.
The man stood up and handed the baby over to Penny. He extended his hand. “I’m Trevor. I’m Penny’s boyfriend and the father of her son.”
Semaj stared at him but did not take his hand. “You’re his father?” he asked.
“Yes, I am. I overheard you at the door, and I’m not sure why you seem convinced otherwise, but I can assure you that Junior is mine.”
Penny tried to explain that she’d met Trevor shortly after leaving school, and Junior had been conceived that summer. Her pregnancy was the reason she didn’t return to school, but she assured Semaj that she wasn’t carrying his child when she left. She also told him that Trevor Jr. was only five months old, not eight as everyone had assumed. Feeling ashamed and stupid, Semaj turned around and left.
If he really tried, Semaj could think of hundreds of similar incidents where the lack of growing up with his father had made him feel equally as ashamed and stupid. He reasoned that it wasn’t fair. He was a good person with a kind heart who lived a moral life. He just couldn’t understand why God has chosen to leave him without a father in his life.
That afternoon, unable to take the suspense or turmoil any longer, Semaj finally ripped open the envelope containing the DNA report and read the results. On the paternity results paper there were a lot of numbers and other items that he did not quite understand, but there was no mistaking one line. “Therefore, probability of paternity is 99.942 percent.” Semaj didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
The fruit basket in the dressing room was almost empty as Rip continued to eat. “So you have your results, and now you are about to go out there and be interviewed by Kandyss Kline about the things you do in order to find a missing person. Do you mind if I ask what you plan to say?”
Semaj sat down in a nearby chair and pondered. “Well, I’ll tell her that my first step is always to speak with the family and try to find out who saw the person last. That’s where I find the most clues. Then I’ll let them know that I go into the community and I start asking questions of the average person. Often these folks don’t want to call in or be identified, but if approached correctly they will talk.”
Rip nodded his head. “So how many days are you going to run around talking to folks while you pretend to look for him?”
“I haven’t gotten that far yet, but it won’t be too long. Just keep our guest comfortable until I get to him.” Semaj stood up and began pacing again, anxious for his time to appear on camera.
Rip decided to change the subject. “Have you talked to Ellen?”
“Nope,” he answered.
“You mean to tell me you still haven’t called her after all this time?”
Semaj stopped pacing long enough to stare at Rip. “No, I haven’t called her. What am I going to call her for?”
“Um, let’s see, you can start by apologizing for acting like a jerk these past few weeks. Then you can tell her that you love her, and you can’t wait to marry her. Then if that doesn’t work, you can beg for her forgiveness.”
Semaj continued pacing. “Do we have to go over this again? You are Ellen’s biggest cheerleader lately. What’s up with that?”
Rip watched him go back and forth before answering. “I’m worried about you, man,” he said finally. “You’ve never appreciated the things that you have. Even when we were kids you thought your life was so bad. Yet, when compared to me and a lot of other kids, you had it great. Now you’ve found the kind of woman most men will only dream of and instead of doing everything you can to hold on to her, you’re neglecting your relationship.”
“Having my father in my life is very important to me. I may be a grown man, but I still need to have him acknowledge me. My life just won’t be complete without it.”
“That’s exactly what I mean. You spend so much time focusing on the things that you think you don’t have that you completely forget about all the things that you do.”
A stagehand knocking at the door interrupted their conversation. He poked his head into the room. “Mr. Matthews, you’re on next. I need you to follow me so that we can put your mike on.”
Obediently, Semaj stopped pacing and followed him out of the room and down the hallway to the studio where the show was being taped before a live audience. The stagehand put the mike on Semaj and told him where to stand and wait to be introduced.
As he stood in the wings waiting, he heard Kandyss speaking. “Last year, the city of Atlanta was heartbroken as we learned that four-year-old Pierré Estefan Jenkins was missing from his mother’s backyard. Three days later, he was found and returned to his mother’s grateful arms by my next guest. He’s the anchor for the seven o’clock news, but that’s not his calling. Semaj Matthews has a God-given gift. Single-handedly, he’s reunited dozens of families with their loves ones. I’ve invited him on the show tonight to give us his thoughts and insights on how to find our beloved Wayne James. Ladies and gentlemen, Semaj Matthews.”
As he stepped onto the stage, Kandyss offered Semaj a seat directly beside Wayne’s sons. Right next to him was Wayne’s oldest son Stacy. The other four boys were seated next to Stacy in order of age. Jaden, Kelsey, Trenton, and the baby boy, Leo, were all there.
Semaj noticed that they all looked upset, sad, and lost. Trying to ignore their obvious pain, Semaj sat down and turned to focus on Kandyss.
After they exchanged polite pleasantries Kandyss began to ask questions. “So, Semaj, you’ve seen the police reports. Do you have any thoughts on this case so far?”
“Um, not really, Kandyss. From what I’ve read, the police do not have many clues so it’s definitely going to be an uphill battle.”
Kandyss nodded. “You’re the best at what you do. I’m sure it will be easy for you.”
“The police told us that if a person isn’t found in the first twenty-four hours, the chances of finding them alive drops drastically. Is that true?” Stacy asked.
His question startled Semaj. He thought that he wanted to speak with Wayne’s family, but now that he was there, it terrified him. Rather than look him in the eye, Semaj addressed the answer to Kandyss.
“In many cases that is the truth. However, I try not to be deterred by statistics. A few years ago, I found a woman who’d been missing for over ten years. She’d been taken as a small child and didn’t realize the people who’d abducted her were not her parents,” Semaj answered.
As the interview continued, Semaj loosened his necktie and tried his best to remain calm. At the insistence of Kandyss, each of Wayne’s sons shared their favorite memory of time spent with their father. Semaj knew that she was trying to gain sympathy which could translate into high ratings for the show, but it was tearing him apart inside. He started to sweat under the hot lights, and all he could think of was getting as far away from the stage as possible. His head was swimming, and he felt that he might faint at any moment. He stared at the floor wishing it would open and suddenly suck him right in.
Kandyss turned to Wayne’s oldest son Stacy to ask how he felt about his dad and what his most memorable moment was.
“Well, it’s really not a memory at all as I was too young to actually remember it, but the best thing about him is that he took me and my brothers into his home and gave us a father. I ended up in the foster care system when I was six months old because both of my biological parents were arrested for running a meth lab out of our apartment. Wayne took me in as his foster son, and then my biological parents relinquished their parental rights and I became his forever. I can’t remember it, but that was the best day of my life.”
Unlike his brothers, Stacy knew who his biological parents were and had contact with them. They knew he’d been adopted, and both were still spending their time in and out of jail for various crimes.
“Have you been in contact with your biological parents during this ordeal?” Kandyss asked.
“No, I don’t see a reason to. Yes, they gave me life, but Wayne James is my father. It takes a lot more than biologically creating a child in order to earn that title.”
His words permeated Semaj’s heart and were swirling around deep inside his soul. He looked into the young boy’s eyes realizing he had tons of wisdom packed into his seventeen-year-old body.
Kandyss scooted closer to the edge of her chair and poked her microphone into Stacy’s face. “Tell us, Stacy,” she said. “This audience and my viewing audience at home are anxious to hear what you feel makes a man a father.”
“That’s simple,” he said matter-of-factly. “The only way to be a true father is to imitate our original Father, God. In the Holy Bible, we find that there are almost forty verses in the scripture about God’s heart for the fatherless. He protects them, He provides for them, and He defends them. We are called to be imitators of Him. That’s not what my biological parents have done, but it’s what Wayne James has done for me and my brothers. It’s what I will do for my own sons.”
The audience began to applaud wildly, and Kandyss waited for the fervor to die down before she spoke again.
“So, I take it that you plan to have lots of children of your own someday with your wife,” she asked.
“That would be ideal for me, but if I don’t have biological sons, then I know that I can still be a father. Dad has taken us throughout the community and taught us about mentoring other young men. I have a twelve-year-old mentee whom I currently consider to be my son. Most people don’t realize this, Kandyss, but being a father isn’t biological; it’s spiritual. Wayne James was spiritually appointed by God to be our father.”
The roar of applause from the audience filled the entire studio. Semaj felt like a fool. He was ashamed of his actions, and he felt deeply humbled. Feeling unworthy to look Stacy in his face, Semaj went back to staring at the floor.
“Mr. Matthews, can you please help us find our daddy? We just want him to come home again.”
Suddenly looking up, Semaj realized that the question had been asked by Trenton, Wayne’s nine-year-old son.
Unable to control himself Semaj burst into tears. “I promise. I promise I won’t sleep until your daddy is home.” He ran from the stage and snatched off his microphone. Still crying, he rushed into the dressing room and collapsed onto the couch beside Rip. “What have we done, man? Those kids are missing their father just like I did when I was their ages, but the difference is I caused their pain. I caused all of their pain.”
Rip shook his head. He’d believed from the very beginning that Semaj was too soft and would eventually crack under the pressure. It was typical behavior. Semaj never hurt another person in his life, and no matter how he felt about Wayne James, he didn’t want to hurt him or his children either. He knew this day was coming. He’d seen the signs a mile away. Sitting beside his cousin as he cried his eyes out, he couldn’t help but be thankful that the Semaj he knew seemed to finally be on his way back.
Chapter Fifteen
After his meltdown at the television studio Semaj went home that night intent on putting the pieces of his broken life back together. He could not believe how obsessed he’d allowed himself to become regarding having a father in his life, when the thing he’d been searching for was right there all along.
The morning following the show, he called Ellen. He knew that he had to apologize and fix their relationship. She didn’t answer the phone, so he left a detailed message.
