“No,” she barks, her back still to me.

  I can’t help but laugh. How this kid can go from happily picking wildflowers to being so damn pissy about being woken up is beyond me. That’s something we’ll have to work on in the near future.

  “Darbs,” I say sternly. “Wake up. Let’s go. I got your surprise waiting.”

  At the mention of the surprise I promised her, she sits right up and looks at me with a tired smile on her face. I wait patiently while she rubs the sleep away from her eyes before she pushes her blanket off and holds her arms out toward me.

  I pick her up and kiss her cheek. She giggles quietly as she nuzzles into my neck and I carry her out of the room.

  I’m not sure how she’s going to react to Jocelyn when they’re face to face. She’s only ever heard her voice and I don’t keep pictures of the kids around. It’s a waste of space and I don’t care for clutter. I’m sure she’ll see herself in her Momma and she’ll probably love her right away, but the only way to find out is to take her into the kitchen.

  I walk slowly, deliberately.

  We play a game of peek-a-boo on the way to the kitchen because I want to keep her distracted long enough to give her a chance to understand what’s happening when I tell her who the lady in the kitchen is.

  It’s almost just like Laura all over again,

  I think with a chuckle as we finally reach the doorway. I put Darby down and turn her to face me.

  “I want you to go say hi to the nice lady. She’s being nice and making us supper. Go tell her thank you,” I say, running a hand over the side of her face.

  Darby nods and turns around, running the few steps toward Joce. She reaches up and pulls on her dress, a big smile on her face.

  “Thank you!” she shouts gleefully when Jocelyn looks down at her.

  I laugh and lean a hand on the door frame, watching them carefully. Jocelyn bites her lip so damn hard, I’m worried she’s going to draw blood and scare Darbs.

  “Watch it,” I warn her in a low tone.

  She quickly wipes the tears from her eyes and crouches down in front of our daughter, trying her best to smile.

  “You’re welcome,” she whispers.

  Darby puts her arms around Joce’s shoulders and gives her a quick hug, before she runs over to the table and pulls herself up onto one of the chairs.

  She doesn’t get it, I think with a relieved sigh.

  “Guess we’ll hold onto to our little secret just a bit longer,” I say to Jocelyn evenly as I walk over to the table and take the seat next to Darby.

  Jocelyn looks at the little girl and wrings her hands nervously before she turns her back to us again. I won’t tell Darby just yet. There’s no point in ruining her supper by telling her that the nice lady in the kitchen cooking is really nothing more than a disappointment for both of us.

  I decided that while Jocelyn is keeping herself busy making dinner, that I’d let Darby color at the table. I usually don’t allow that, but it’ll keep her occupied and not ask her Momma any questions.

  It’s just in her nature to be so damn curious. Always wants to know who, what, and why, never stopping her barrage of questions until she gets an answer she’s satisfied with.

  Vaughn asked too many fucking questions too, I think with a slight shudder. I get that Darby will inherit some of their traits, but I can hope that she’ll be just like me when she gets older. The way I choose to live my life with my family makes perfect sense to me— even if no one else would understand it.

  I glance over at her happily coloring next to me and run a hand back over her hair.

  Yeah; I can’t help but think that even though the rest of them were fucking failures, this one will make me proud.

  “Oh man!” she cries out, causing Joce to turn around quickly. Her eyes immediately fall on me instead of Darby and I roll my eyes at her. Obviously, she still thinks the worst of me.

  “What’s wrong baby?” I ask her.

  “I broke my crayon,” she replies with a pout, holding up her blue crayon for me to see it. The top partially snapped off because of how hard she was rubbing it against the paper.

  “Well,” I say, getting up from the table and walking over to the junk drawer next to the sink. “That’s why you need to be more patient when you’re coloring. We talked about patience before, remember?”

  I fish around in the drawer until I find the box of crayons I’m looking for. Darby has a habit of snapping her crayons when she colors, so I have a box that I keep in here for moments like this. I pull out the blue crayon then toss the box back into the drawer, closing it with my hip, and running a knuckle down Joce’s back before I head back to the table.

  I sit down and hold the crayon out to Darby who’s now watching Jocelyn with suspicion growing in her big brown eyes, and I chuckle.

  “Darbs? Would you like your crayon?” I ask her with a grin.

  “Yes, please,” she says quietly, narrowing her eyes. She reaches for the crayon then puckers her lips for me and I give her a gentle kiss on the lips before she goes back to coloring again.

  So far I’ve taught her that when Daddy does something nice for her, then Daddy gets a thank you kiss.

  Baby steps.

  The loud sigh that comes from Jocelyn tells me that she was watching us. It doesn’t matter to me; she went through this same fucking training so she’ll know when it’s time to worry. Not that I think it’s something to worry about—to me it’s just a different way of showing love, and I prefer it.

  And no matter how much huffing and puffing she’s doing, I know damn well that she does too.

  I rest my chin in my hand and watch Darby color in her blue sky. She’s very good at not running over any lines when she’s coloring and I can tell that’s the perfectionist in me rubbing off on her already.

  “Another hour and dinner will be ready,” Jocelyn announces in a subdued tone.

  “Alright,” I reply indifferently, not looking up from the paper. “Mind if I color with you?”

  Darby looks up at me and flashes a happy, toothy smile, handing me the yellow crayon and telling me to color in the flowers while she works on the sky.

  I clear my throat and pull my chair closer to hers, then begin to do as she’s asked of me. I like doing little things like this with her—it helps me understand this whole parenting thing on a different level.

  I’m so lost in making this precious memory with Darby that I never realize that Jocelyn is standing next to me. Not until I feel the cold blade of the knife she’s holding, under my chin. Not until she digs it in a little and uses it to lift my face.

  I let the crayon drop from my fingers onto the paper and it quietly rolls over to Darby, who almost immediately starts crying.

  She doesn’t understand.

  She doesn’t know that her Momma wants revenge for shit that was done to her and she doesn’t realize that by the time this little family day is over, one of us will be in the ground permanently.

  It all depends on who has the bigger set of balls, I think as I look Jocelyn square in the eyes and grin.

  Chapter 7

  “Are you gonna use that or are you trying to see how far you can go before you piss me off?” I ask her evenly, the grin never leaving my face.

  Her jaw clenches as she digs it in a little deeper and I find myself pushing against it. Jocelyn’s never had the fucking guts to do anything like this. When she knocked out Laura, she wasn’t even woman enough to finish the job—I had to toss that shit on one of her brothers to handle. I let him get some action before it was all said and done, and no matter how much he fucking cried about it, I knew he wouldn’t be able to deny that his first pussy would be the one he would have always remembered had he still been alive.

  With a sigh, I slap the knife out of her hand and get to my feet, pulling her body tightly against mine. I point at Darby who’s still crying and decide to give her a little lesson in parenting.

  “You see this? That’s what you did. She was just fine with the two of us sitting here spending some time together, until you decided to try and grow a pair and knife me in front of her. That’s some shit I never did in front of any of you. Are you proud of yourself? Is this the kind of mother you want to be, because if it is, then you better make damn sure that the next time you pull any kind of weapon on me that you fucking use it.”

  I shove her away and walk over to Darbs, putting an arm around her shoulders and tell her that it’s okay. I tell her that the lady was just playing a scary game and that there’s no reason to cry anymore.

  “The dog,” Jocelyn says quietly.

  “Oh, fuck the dog,” I snap at her. Then a slow smile starts to spread across my face. “Not the way you did.”

  The callousness of my tone, of what I just said to her, slaps her in the face hard and she turns away and runs toward the living room. I roll my eyes and sigh again when I hear her burst into tears, but if she’s trying to get away from the memory of that day, then maybe she should go into a different room.

  “Come on,” I say to Darby, as I get to my feet and pick her up into my arms. “You gotta learn to toughen up. Have you ever seen your daddy crying?”

  She shakes her head and takes a deep, shuddering breath as she buries her head into my neck. Her little fingers are grazing the back of my neck as she tries to find some comfort in my hug and I have to start walking before I put her down and give Jocelyn a reason to try and grow balls again.

  The back of my neck has always been one of my sweet spots, but Darby doesn’t know that yet.

  “How long do you plan on blubbering for?” I ask Jocelyn, entering the room. I shift Darby from one arm to the other, and she claws my neck trying to get away from the entire situation.

  “Calm down, baby,” I say gently into her ear. “No one’s gonna hurt me, alright? She was just playing a game, like I said. Tell her you were just playing a game.”

  A fresh round of sobs bursts from somewhere inside of Jocelyn and I’m staring to rethink even taking her out of the damn ground. If this is a sign of what I’m going to have to deal with until I’m bored with this entire fucking scenario, then I might as well just drag her back outside and shove her in. Maybe she’ll save me some grief and break her neck on the way down.

  The only problem with Jocelyn actually dying is that it’ll make me feel bad in a way. Not because I don’t think she doesn’t deserve it, but because I think it would make me look like a bad father if another one bites the dust.

  Not that the other two were my fault for the most part, but like I said, there’s just something special about Jocelyn. Ideally, I’d like to keep her here in the house with me and Darby. I would love to watch her be a parent to her own child, but she’s already baring her teeth and it hasn’t even been an entire day.

  Suddenly, Joce drops her hands from her face and looks up at us. She’s still crying and heartbroken or whatever, and I can tell that she’s trying her damnedest to stop crying.

  “I’m sorry,” she begins in a strangled voice. “I was just playing a game and I got a little carried away.”

  Darby shakes her head against my neck and grips me tighter. She doesn’t trust Jocelyn now and that’s something that they’ll have to work on if I decide that she’s going to stay up here with us.

  At least she didn’t run off already like her bitch of a mother. One sign of weakness from me in Jocelyn’s room the first night I had her, and Laura was off like a shot. She didn’t give a good goddamn about her own kids. She only cared about getting away from us, and that’s why that bitch went out the way she did.

  “I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Joce says softly. “Please forgive me.”

  I grin at her as I rock Darby in my arms. There’s my fighter—slowly but surely, she’s starting to show herself again and it’s all because of the little girl in my arms.

  “Okay,” Darbs sobs into my neck.

  I roll my eyes and motion with my head for Jocelyn to come over to us.

  “The only way this is going to work is if you two start getting along. You about ready for that?” I ask her when she’s a few feet away from us. She wipes the tears away from her eyes and nods.

  “Alright,” I say, pulling Darby away from me and turning her around to face Jocelyn. “This is your big sister, baby. That’s how I know she was playing a game, because I’m her daddy too.”

  Jocelyn sucks in a breath and gives me a horrified look as I smirk.

  I really hope she didn’t think I was going to make it that fucking easy for her.

  Chapter 8

  Supper’s finally on the table and we’ve moved to the dining room so we can eat comfortably. Darby is shooting questions at her Momma faster than she can answer them, but I’m actually content to see that they’re engaged in conversation finally.

  Of course, she made her promise first to never try to hurt me again, and once that little deal was struck, the two of them became engrossed in each other.

  Jocelyn asked her about her school and if she liked her teachers, and Darby told her that I keep her home and she gets her learning here instead of a school.

  I take a sip of my wine as I watch the two of them. It really is like looking at the present and the past sitting across from each other. The same damn fire in their eyes, the same big brown eyes, and the same facial expressions. Hell, they even laugh the same way. If Darby were a little older, I’d take them both into my bedroom tonight, but she’s not ready for that just yet.

  “Did Pater tell you that you used to have brothers too?” Jocelyn asks, resting her chin in her hand and smiling at Darby.

  I slam my hand on the table and they both jump. When Joce looks at me, I give her a dangerous stare and shake my head slowly. She clears her throat and her eyes fall down to her plate.

  “Who’s Pater?” Darby asks curiously, tilting her head first at Jocelyn, then at me.

  Joce clears her throat but instead of answering her, she stabs a piece of pork and pops it into her mouth. She smiles and shakes her head.

  “Never mind,” she replies once she’s done chewing. “I was just remembering a nightmare I had once and I got confused with what I was trying to say.”

  “Okay,” Darby replies with a shrug as she drops her fork onto her plate. “Daddy? I have to use the bathroom.”

  I nod and suck my teeth, before picking up my glass and taking another sip of wine. As Darby walks by me I smile at her and wait until she’s gone from the room before I turn my attention back to Jocelyn.

  “Don’t you ever try that bullshit again, do you understand me? It’ll take next to nothing to throw you back into that fucking pit and this time, I’ll seal that lid forever,” I snap at her as quietly as I can. Darby has some kind of sonic hearing and if I’m too loud right now,

  I’m sure she’ll hear me from wherever the hell she is right now.

  “I’m sorry,” Jocelyn says miserably for what seems like the millionth time in the past few hours. “I don’t know what she does and doesn’t know and I was just trying to talk to her.”

  “Ask her about her studies, her favorite colors, or her favorite cartoons. Don’t ever bring up family again. The only family she needs to know about is the one at this table,” I reply evenly.

  Jocelyn turns her eyes toward me and holds my stare for a moment. I can see the small flame starting to build and it’s making me hard.

  “Why didn’t you tell her I was her mother?” she asks me quietly.

  I reach down under the table to shift myself. I don’t want Darby to see this when she comes back. There will be plenty of time for that later.

  “You’re not a stupid girl, so stop acting like one,” I respond with a smirk. “You want her to love you? To know who you really are? Then you’re gonna have to stay above ground long enough to earn that. Shit doesn’t get handed out in this house, you know that. Anything you want comes from being good and working hard.”

  “And does she have to work hard for everything she has so far?” she asks in a low, dangerous tone.

  I throw my head back and laugh. Now this is the girl that I grew to love so many years ago. This is the girl that tried to send her brothers away from my house and this is the girl that’ll do what I want her to do in order to try and do the same for Darby.

  I drop my arms on the table and cross them, leaning forward and shaking my head.

  “How old were you the first time I had you? Nine? Ten? Come on, Joce. You should know better; the kid is too young for me right now. Besides, she won’t be able to take everything I have to offer, not until she’s older and much deeper where I need her to be. I don’t like my pussy to be too tight or too young.”

  “What’s her name?” she asks thoughtfully after a moment.

  “Darby,” I reply with a smile. “Why?”

  Jocelyn shrugs, “No reason other than a mother wanting to know her child’s name.”

  “But you’re not her mother,” I remind her. “As of right now, you’re just her sister that she never met before today.”

  Before Jocelyn has a chance to throw some more bullshit banter my way, Darby reenters the room and climbs back into her seat. She smiles at Jocelyn as she picks up her fork and keeps eating.

  I’m not entirely sure if I’ll pull the hood off of her head anytime soon and tell her who the lady across from her is. Mostly because I won’t know how to explain why I lied to her, but maybe she’ll be okay with it when the time comes.

  Maybe she won’t.

  All I know is that the reason Jocelyn is here right now in this very house is to keep my dick satisfied until I’m ready for Darby to take her place. Hopefully she’ll keep her fucking mouth shut on matters that she shouldn’t speak about long enough to keep my baby girl pure for a little while longer.

  I sure would hate to break with tradition before the time is right all because of a mouthy bitch that doesn’t know her place.

  Chapter 9

  We’ve finished supper and Darby is eating some dessert while Joce picks up the mess. I’ve invited her to come back into the dining room with us when she’s done and have some of the pie that I made yesterday. She knows that I like a spotless home, so she’ll do her best to pass inspection and be able to spend more time with Darby.

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25