The Walking Man, page 17
Hope smiled. “Too Catholic to use birth control, I guess.”
“Something like that,” Andy said, neglecting to mention his father once proclaimed his Catholicism consisted of an occasional prayer to “Saint Who Gives a Shit, the Patron Saint of Fuck You and the Horse You Rode in On.”
“It must have been fun growing up in a big family,” Hope said.
“It was.” Andy cleared his throat. “My parents were pretty much worn out by the time I showed up, so I grew up without being hassled.”
Hope was fairly sure Andy was being evasive about his family, but she was satisfied that he wasn’t raised by wolves or terrorists, so after sharing a few wallet pictures, Hope began exploring Andy’s politics. Being a staunch Republican, Hope figured Andy, being a professor, had to be a liberal Democrat. So, she asked Andy what he thought of George Bush. Andy, skilled in avoiding conflict, responded, “I generally like Texans.”
“What do you generally like about them?”
“I’m not sure,” Andy said. “I think it has something to do with football, oil, or beef.”
When pushed further about his politics, Andy finally admitted he was apolitical.
“Actually, Hope, I’ve never voted,” Andy admitted. “I have a hard time telling the difference between Democrats and Republicans. They’re all politicians to me.”
Hope frowned. “You’ve never voted? How do you expect to change things for the better if you don’t vote?”
“What can I tell you,” Andy replied. “I trust the judgment of the masses.”
Perplexed by Andy’s seeming disinterest in family and politics, Hope next pressed the religion button.
“I’m a Protestant,” Hope said abruptly. “I go to church twice a year to drop a twenty in the collection basket. How about you?”
“I do a twenty every Sunday,” Andy said.
Hope grinned. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Andy; you still go to church every Sunday. I thought you science types didn’t believe in God?”
“I believe in the possibility of God,” Andy said, “and I like the Pope because he has the balls to wear a pointy hat in public.”
“I like his Pope-mobile,” Hope said.
Andy laughed. “Me too!”
A pause followed while Andy conducted an internal debate over whether to open up or risk boring Hope to death with his relentless Southie wiseassery.
“I also believe in wonder,” Andy finally said.
“Wonder?”
“Yes. I believe in the wonder of things to come. We know virtually nothing, but at our current rate of knowledge acquisition, within our lifetime, we will be able to live forever, implant the world’s knowledge into every man’s head, use nuclear fusion to solve our energy problems, and we’ll even be able to use subatomic particles to instantly communicate with each other with no possibility of eavesdropping. To me, religion and politics are sideshows; technology is what matters.”
“Wow,” Hope said. “You really are a nerd.”
“Guilty.”
“So, I guess this means you really don’t believe in heaven.”
“I didn’t say that, Hope. Believe it or not, heaven and physics are not inconsistent. Other dimensions surround us. We just can’t see them. Everything we perceive is ninety-nine-point nine, nine, nine percent nothing. We are surrounded by total mystery. Heaven is a definite possibility.”
Hope feigned shock. “Oh my God, I’m dating the mythical regular guy nerd.”
Andy smiled. “Yes, Hope, I am Bigfoot; beneath my admittedly stunning exterior are the flesh and bones of a card carrying N-E-R-D – much to my mother’s chagrin.”
“Oh my, Professor,” Hope said. “This schoolgirl’s heart is all a flutter – tell me more.”
“If I must,” Andy replied before regaling Hope with additional stories of wondrous new technologies.
After a ten-minute lecture, a captivated Hope said, “Gee, Professor, it sounds like some big business opportunities are coming down the road. Somebody is going to get rich.”
“Somebody will always get rich,” Andy said.
“Why not you, Professor?”
Andy held Hope’s hand and grinned. “Money cuts into my Red Sox time and limits my ability to have drinks with beautiful women.”
“Like me, Professor?”
“Exactly like you.”
The more Andy talked the more Hope was struck by his lack of ego. He never spoke of his academic greatness, and he seemed exceptionally attentive. To Hope, the whole Andy package seemed too good to be true, so after her third Cosmo, she posed the question she’d been dying to ask…
“Hey, Andy, I got to know – how come a thirty-year-old guy like you, a big-shot professor, isn’t married? Are you one of those straight-looking guys who likes guys? Or, is there a special inflatable doll in your life?”
Andy laughed. “How did you find out about my inflate-a-date?” He then paused before saying, “Hope, if you must know, the reason I am not married is…I’ve been waiting for you.”
There was another pause then Hope and Andy looked straight through each other. A kiss followed, generating feelings that needed to be immediately addressed in the nearest available bedroom. Consequently, arm in arm, Andy and Hope left the Top of the Hub for Andy’s place, a nice one bedroom condo on the fourteenth floor of a red brick tower on the Cambridge side of the Charles River.
It was a crystal clear evening and Andy’s bedroom had a large picture window that perfectly framed the illuminated erections of Boston’s Back Bay. It afforded a spectacular view, specifically designed to support the passion Hope and Andy exhibited in Andy’s windowless living room; a place with a big enough couch, and sufficient pillows, to support the inexplicably intense relations that followed and forever fused Andy McCormack and Hope Wynsome into a true couple.
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Table of Contents
Even Steven by Wright Forbucks
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Excerpt from Even Steven
Wright Forbucks, The Walking Man
