Better Not Cry, page 9
part #8 of Rebekka Franck Series
I was fed up.
But what kind of woman leaves a loved one when they end up in a wheelchair? I had promised myself I wasn't going to do that. The fact was, I wasn't going to leave him because he was in a wheelchair, but because of the way he treated me, the way he had become. But in my mind, it would always be because of the chair, because of the accident. I would end up always feeling guilty about him.
I sighed and drove into downtown Cocoa Beach, which had to be the smallest downtown I had ever seen. It was cute, though, and I really liked it here. People seemed to be so happy and always polite and friendly.
I drove through town and into the driveway of the beach house and stopped the engine. Sune had been angry at me for leaving them again, but I was getting used to him disapproving of everything I did. It didn't matter what it was, so I had left anyway. I needed the excuse to get away. I needed a time-out. But the problem was, it hadn't helped anything. I still dreaded walking through that front door.
38
Sara Andrews was about to cry. When they escorted her back to her cell, she could barely keep it together. So many memories bubbling up inside of her, most of them terrifying. For so long, she had tried to not think about it; for so long, she had kept it away. Yet, here she was once again, wrapped up in the whole thing, unable to keep all those emotions and the fear away.
She was put inside the cell, the door shut and locked behind her. Left alone once again to her own thoughts.
Talking to the journalist had made it all come back, even though she had fought it, and now she could no longer keep it at bay. She kept seeing her baby brother through her inner eye, all pale and lifeless, the big Santa figure bent over him, his teeth covered in the poor boy's blood.
At night, she would often dream about it and, this night, as she dozed off, she did so again. She was back at her childhood home, waking up to the sound of jingle bells sounding from outside her room. Wondering if it was Santa bringing her presents, she rushed out into the hallway, then realized the sound came from her baby brother's nursery.
The door was ajar and Sara pushed it gently open, only to see the big man in the red suit. She had screamed loudly once she had grasped the situation, and Santa had disappeared. But it was already too late. Her brother was dead.
"Sara!" someone called and she woke up with a gasp, emotions overwhelming her as she once again realized her life had been nothing but one long nightmare.
She still remembered her mother's expression when she entered the room on that night. The look she had given Sara afterward. That was when she realized her mother blamed her for her brother's death. She believed Sara had somehow killed him. And after that, she had been terrified of her. Terrified of her own daughter.
Sara sobbed and wiped away tears as she sat on her bed in the darkness. So many things she regretted today, but how could she have acted differently? She had told Rob to not go near Santa, but he wouldn't listen. She had told John not to take their daughter to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. But he wouldn't listen either. And then when he came down that chimney, she had been certain it was him, the real Santa coming for her or even worse, her daughter, and she had shot him.
Poor John. Poor, poor John.
Sara leaned back on the bed that squeaked on its hinges, sounding like it was complaining. She couldn't find rest again and was tossing and turning when she heard a sound that made her blood freeze.
The tinkling sound of jingle bells.
Sara shot up in the bed. "Who's there?"
No answer.
"Who's there," she said, wondering why she would ask such a ridiculous question. Who could be there? She was inside a prison cell for cryin' out loud.
It's the hallucinations, Sara. Don't give into them. That's how the crazy starts.
TINKLE. TINKLE.
Sara stared into the darkness, her heart thumping in her chest.
TINKLE. TINKLE. TINKLE.
Slowly, she looked over the side of the bed and peeked under it. A set of glowing red Christmas globes looked back at her. A bearded face appeared as he came closer to hers, his breath smelling like candy.
"Have you been a good girl this year, Sara?"
A jolly laugh followed before he reached his long nails up toward her and grabbed her throat.
39
The Christmas tree in our living room was gorgeous. I enjoyed looking at it while baking cookies the next day. I was beginning to get my Christmas groove on and seriously looking forward to the big holiday.
The cookies smelled wonderful in the oven as I made a snack for Julie, who had gotten hungry between computer games. I hadn't seen Sune all morning or night either since he was sleeping on the couch in the media room and hadn't come out yet. I wondered if he would at all. He had to get hungry at some point, right?
"So, what are we doing today?" Julie asked.
William was still decorating the tree with some of the ornaments we had brought from home. He dropped a globe but luckily it was shatterproof and bounced right back up, much to his surprise and joy.
I shrugged. "I just want to hang out here and get a little Christmassy. How about you?"
"I think we need to go Christmas shopping soon," she said. "I haven't even bought one present."
She had a point. I had postponed the shopping because I really didn't enjoy it much, but it had to be done. And maybe it would be different now that we were over here. I had promised the kids to find a mall and take them shopping.
"Let's see," I said. "Maybe later today. Or maybe tomorrow, huh? There's always tomorrow."
"You keep saying that and you're gonna have a lot of crying faces come Christmas time," she said as she grabbed her sandwich and disappeared. Back to the computer, I guessed.
I sighed and looked at the cookies in the oven. Julie was right. We had to get some shopping done soon. I just didn't know what to say to Sune. Would he come with us? Play happy family? I had a feeling he wouldn't.
I sat at my laptop and went back to my research. I had been going through the town's history around Christmas and found at least five more deaths that they had no explanation for. And these were earlier. Five to six years earlier than when Sara's brother died. It couldn't have been her since she would have been an infant at the time. I kept searching and found a death dated back almost fifty years ago. December 1970. It caught my attention since it was a kid who had crawled up inside the chimney and gotten stuck. And not only that. Someone had lit a fire in the fireplace before they found him. But no one knew who had lit it. No one in the household would say they had done it. The old article said that they believed the father had done it, but wouldn't admit it.
I almost dropped the cup of coffee between my hands. This was almost fifty years ago. If this was some killer, then how was he also active back then?
"Cookies done?" William came up to me and said, pulling my jeans.
I laughed and grabbed him. I put him in my lap then kissed him, gently pulling the pacifier out of his mouth.
"When the oven goes DING, that's when cookies are done," I said and hugged him tightly.
"Say, DING," he yelled. "Say, DING!"
I chuckled and kissed him again, wondering what his life was going to be like if Sune and I decided to split up once we got home. Would Sune want to be a weekend dad at all? Or was he just so bitter and angry at the world and at all of us that he wouldn't even want to see his son? And what about Tobias? Would he take care of him alone and take him away from me? I had grown to love Tobias like he was my own. I couldn't stand the thought of not having him with me anymore.
Was Sune really going to rip us all apart?
I looked at the beautiful tree that William had helped decorate. It was a little heavy on one side with the ornaments, and on the bottom, since Will couldn't reach very high, but it was perfect. Just the way I liked it.
As I stared at the tree, I thought I saw a light in between the branches. A red glowing light. Actually, there were two of them. Like two red glowing Christmas globes staring at me.
I put William down and walked closer, but after two steps, the oven sounded, DING. William shrieked with excitement and I rushed to get the cookies out. As I took the plate out and looked at the tree again, the lights were gone.
40
We stayed at the house all day. It felt good to just hang with my kids and not have to go anywhere. We didn't even go down to the beach, but we did go in the pool for an hour or so before we returned inside the house to the freshly baked cookies and hot chocolate.
Sune stayed in the media room all day, probably sulking. I tried not to think about him while spoiling the kids with marshmallows in the hot chocolate and seconds on the cookies. I refused to let him ruin my vacation. The kids and I had been looking forward to this trip for ages and talked about how great it was going to be, and it had been crazy expensive, so I was determined to have a good time no matter what.
I knew Sune was disappointed and he was right to be. I, for one, didn't know how I would feel if it was me, to have been looking so much forward to seeing this doctor, hoping, praying he could heal you and then just being told that it was all in your head and that he couldn't help you unless you made some improvement first.
What a nerve that doctor had.
I was so furious at him I considered leaving a bad review on his webpage, but what was the use? I wasn't angry with him. I was mad at the entire situation, and so was Sune.
"We should have a fire in the fireplace," Tobias suddenly said.
We were sitting in the living room, spread out on the couches, drinking our hot chocolate. Julie and William were playing some card game that Julie obviously wasn't much into since she was constantly checking her phone, while William cheated.
I looked at the fireplace in front of us, then shivered. Ever since seeing that boy pulled out of the chimney, I wasn't too fond of the idea.
"Maybe another time," I said.
"Why not now?" Julie asked, finally looking up from her phone.
"Are you kidding me? It's like eighty degrees outside," I said.
"We can just crank up the AC," she said. "Make it feel like it's cold and wintery and Christmassy. Please, Mom?"
"Yes, please, Mom?" Tobias said.
I looked at him. He had never called me mom before. My heart sank thinking about how well we were doing as a family and how I was scared to lose it all again.
"No," I said. "I don't even know how to…"
"We could roast marshmallows," Julie said.
"Yeah!" Tobias said.
"Yeah," William repeated while sending me a look—that look—the one he knew I couldn't say no to, chewing aggressively on his pacifier. I sighed. Three sets of adorable eyes were staring back at me.
"I saw some firewood in the garage," Tobias said. "I can help you. I learned how to make a fire at boy scouts."
"Really?" I asked.
"Really," they all three repeated in unison, even though William's came a little later.
I smiled and shook my head.
"I'll get the firewood," Julie said and got up, leaving her phone on the couch.
"I'll look for a lighter," Tobias said. "I saw one on the grill outside."
"I'll get marshmallows," William said and stood up.
"You're really determined about this, huh?"
"Yes!" they all repeated in unison once again.
"All right." I chuckled while sipping my chocolate. I knew when I was outnumbered. "Guess we're having a fire then."
41
I turned the AC up and soon a cold wind blew from it, cooling the entire living room down. I found a blanket to cover up with while the kids brought everything in.
Tobias and Julie put the wood in place and then handed me the lighter. I walked to the fireplace and checked that the damper was open. I lit the lighter and checked that the draft went upward, then crumpled a few pieces of an old newspaper and put it as a foundation, then stacked the larger logs on top of it. I then lit the newspapers. The fire caught the papers fast. It smoked a little and I coughed, but seconds later, the fire had grabbed onto one of the logs and set it on fire.
"There we go," I said satisfied and pulled back.
"When can we do the marshmallows?" Julie asked. "I found some pointy sticks in the back that we can use."
"Just wait a little bit," I said. "Let the fire really get going."
I sat back on the couch and looked at the growing fire. I had forgotten how much I loved having a fireplace. I used to have one when living with my ex-husband, Peter, and we would always light it around Christmas and a lot during the long cold winters.
I looked at Julie and wondered if she remembered that; I pondered how much she remembered of her father and her early childhood. Did she ever think of him? Did she miss him? We never talked about him anymore.
That kid had been through so much.
Damn you, Sune. We can't let it end like this. We can work it out, can't we? We always do. What happened?
The accident happened. He was shot in the stomach and the bullet went through his spine. That's what happened. Nothing had been normal ever since. It was two years ago now and Sune seemed changed forever; he was never really his old self anymore.
"It's dying," Julie said disappointedly.
"What's that?" I asked distraughtly.
She was sitting with the stick between her legs, the marshmallow already placed at the end of it.
"It's dying, Mom, the fire."
I looked at the fireplace. She was right. The fire was dying out. "That's odd," I said and got up. I found some more newspaper, crumpled it, and put it in there, then lit it. The fire flared up, but then something dripped down on it, causing the fire to die out.
"What the…?"
"What's happening, Mom?" Julie said and came closer.
I looked at the newspaper and realized it was soaked in something and so was the firewood. Something that was dripping down from inside the chimney.
"Is that…Is that…?" Julie approached it, then let out a loud, bone-piercing scream.
I stared at the firewood as blood dripped down from the chimney, soaking everything. The kids were screaming behind me, terrified.
The door to the media room opened and Sune rolled inside. My heart was pounding in my chest as I backed up, staring at the blood raining down into the fireplace.
"What's going on here?" Sune asked. "Why is everyone screaming?"
"There's blood, Dad," Tobias shrieked. "B-blood in the fireplace."
Sune approached us, grumbling something, then looked at the fireplace and up at the chimney.
"I don't see anything."
"It's right there, Dad. Look."
Sune shook his head. "Must be an animal," he said, rolling away. "Probably a bird or maybe a raccoon that got stuck in the chimney. I'll call for a chimneysweeper. Don't just stand there, Rebekka. Get the kids out of the living room if a little blood scares them so much."
42
I took the kids to the yard and told them to play some soccer. I sat in a patio chair, feeling very unsettled, especially after seeing that kid pulled out of the chimney just a little further down the road.
It took maybe an hour or so before the chimneysweeper came. We told him what we had seen and he agreed with Sune; it was probably some animal that had gotten stuck.
"I couldn't see anything, but they all claim they saw it," Sune said.
"I'll get it out," the sweeper said, then he climbed onto the roof.
The kids weren't really playing, just staring at the chimney, eyes struck with fear.
"Don't worry, kids," I said. "I’m sure Sune is right. It's just some animal. There’s nothing to be afraid of."
"But…" Julie said. "You saw that kid…what if…"
"Don't go there," I stopped her. "Don't even think it. It's not the same. Not at all."
The kids didn't seem to believe me. They kept staring at the chimney that the guy had now disappeared into.
"How about an ice-cream, huh?" I asked.
"Yay!" William said.
The two others didn't say anything. Still, I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of cones that I had bought and closed the freezer again. I turned and, as I did, I was certain I heard something. It was coming from the corner where we had placed the Christmas tree. It sounded almost like the jingling of a bell. I walked closer to the tree, staring at it, wondering about the glowing red globes I had seen earlier.
"Is someone there?"
I could hear the chimneysweeper inside the chimney and shook my head. It was probably just him that I had heard. Maybe he had bells on his clothes or something. I turned around to walk back out when I heard a rustle behind me. I turned and looked at the Christmas tree.
Was it moving?
It was. The entire tree was shaking, all the lights on it suddenly turned on. I shrieked and pulled back. Then I saw something that made me look closer. In one of the globes, there was something, as a matter of fact, it was in all of them. Something was emerging inside of them, like a reflection, but it couldn't be. All of them showed the reflection of Santa. He was laughing, grinning from ear to ear, showing off a set of pointy teeth. I could have sworn I also heard him laugh.
Thinking he had to be right behind me, I turned to look, but no one was there, and as I turned back, the picture was gone and the lights had gone out. The tree was back to normal.
Heart pounding in my chest, I backed out of the living room, keeping my eyes on the tree, then rushed out to the kids and handed them each an ice cream.
"Are you all right, Mom?" Julie asked. "You're sweating."
I wiped my forehead. "Yeah, well…it's hot."
