Cricket (Cricket Kendall Book 1), page 23
I’m taken aback by how passionate he sounds. My voice is barely a whisper. “What about your younger sister? Hollis told me she’s sixteen and ran off with another wolf to join his pack. Is that because he’s her mate?”
Cas bristles.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that. It’s not—”
“It’s okay. You can ask me anything. If we’re going to be friends, I want to be one hundred percent honest with you all the time.” Cas interrupts me and grabs my hand, threading our fingers together.
I rest my head on his shoulder and smile encouragingly at him. He adjusts my legs so I’m pulled even closer and his hand is higher on my thigh than it was before. I watch him flare his nostrils and run his eyes over my legs before he brings his gaze back to my face.
“Every summer, there are a bunch of meetups and reunions all over the country where different packs get together. This is partially so different elders and alphas can meet and exchange information and knowledge. But it’s also so that younger wolves can meet, and it gives us a better chance of finding our mate. I fucking hate going. I’ve gotten lucky the past two summers since I didn’t find my mate, obviously. Thankfully, neither have Hollis or Theo. Everyone else there is so gross and frantic about the whole thing. And you can’t even sleep with any of the girls there, because they’re all prudish and freaked out about saving themselves for their fucking mate they’ve never even fucking met.”
“Sounds like the summer camp from hell.” I giggle.
“It totally fucking is. Anyway, my sister Ellie turned sixteen, like, two weeks before the meetup this summer. My mom didn’t want her to go, and she and Ellie kept getting into these huge arguments about it. But Hawthorne said that she had the right to go, and my mom couldn’t argue against him. Of fucking course, we get there and Ellie immediately meets her mate. And the dude is way older than her. He’s fucking twenty-one years old! My mom’s rule for Lettie had been that she had to wait until she graduated high school before completing the mating bond. She wanted Ellie to wait too, but Ellie snuck off and did it behind my parents’ backs and joined her mate’s pack before anyone even realized what was happening.”
“What’s that mean? Completing the mating bond?”
Cas lets out a surprised laugh. “Figures Hollis would leave that out. Just because you find your mate and have matching mate marks, that doesn’t automatically seal the deal. Technically, you can still reject your mate. It rarely ever happens, but it’s still a possibility. You don’t become a mated pair until you complete a mating ceremony and ritual.”
“Seriously? A werewolf wedding?” I snort.
“Kind of. Except, you basically just have sex under the full moon and mark each other. Our power is strongest then. It’s the only time we’re able to solidify the bond.”
I’m tempted to ask more questions, especially about marking each other. But I can already feel myself getting turned on. I’m pretty sure he can tell, because his eyes are definitely more heated. I mentally smack myself and try to get back on track. “Okay, okay. So, Ellie went off and mated with this older guy...”
Cas’s face sobers, and he nods. “Yeah, and this fucking guy, god I hate his name. It’s Kit. What the fuck kind of name is that? Anyway, he didn’t even have the decency to talk to my parents or Hawthorne about it. And he’s from a traditional pack, which means the women don’t work and basically sit at home cooking, cleaning, and popping out a bunch of fucking kids.”
“What the fuck? That’s awful.” I can’t hide the disgust on my face.
“It’s pretty much my mom’s worst nightmare. If a woman wants to stay at home and take care of her family as a choice, whatever, right? Like Rylan’s mate, Elsa. She stays home, but she also helps Margot and Hawthorne out a lot with different errands and with Rory. And if she wanted to go back to school or work, Rylan wouldn’t mind at all. In some packs, they don’t give you a choice. My mom grew up in a pack like that in France. She was so miserable. She ran away when she was fifteen. She figured out a way to take care of herself and finish school, and then she moved to the States and worked her ass off to put herself through law school. She met my dad by chance. She didn’t accept him as her mate until she finished her degree. They still ended up leaving his original pack. They didn’t join up with Hawthorne and Margot’s pack until after my older sister Lettie was born.”
I rub my hand against his arm soothingly. “I think I love your mom. She sounds like a total badass.”
“She is. And I think she’d like you too.” He laughs. His eyes turn sad, and his voice sounds slightly choked up. “Ellie dropped out of school so she could go play housewife to this fucking asshat. It’s so...she’s still a baby. She deserves so much fucking better, but she just keeps saying we all don’t understand, that she’s in love, all this other bullshit. My mom’s been a complete wreck all summer, and especially the last few days when she realized Ellie wouldn’t even finish high school.”
My eyes tear up at the emotion in his voice, and I squeeze him as tightly as I possibly can and whisper that I’m sorry. He holds me for a long time and softly strokes his fingers through my hair. I wish I knew what else to say to make him feel better.
He surprises me a few minutes later when he sighs. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I pull my head back so I can look into his eyes.
He brushes his fingers over my cheek and under my chin. “For listening. I didn’t realize how much I just needed to talk about it.”
I lean into his hand and smile at him. He drops his gaze to my lips, and I want him to kiss me so fucking badly. It’s mostly dark in here. The only light is coming from the TV screen and a light in the kitchen. His body feels so good pressed against me. I’m about to lift his shirt so I can get another peek at those delicious abs, but he grabs my wrist and forces me to look into his eyes.
His voice is a sexy growl. “Are you ready to talk about why you’re upset you don’t have a mate mark now?”
Ugh, that totally kills the mood. I make a face at him, and I’m sure he knows exactly what I’m thinking because he looks mildly amused.
“Alright, fine.” I sigh, and I feel my face heating in embarrassment. “Even though I’m still kind of confused and irritated over the idea of not choosing a mate for yourself, I really like you guys. You, Theo, and Hollis. I’m attracted to all of you, and it’s really confusing. And, like, I’ve already admitted I feel stronger when I’m with the three of you, and it’s obvious we’ve all formed some kind of insane bond. When Hollis told me what a mate is, I thought for one crazy second that it suddenly made sense if that’s what I was feeling with you guys. But then I realized I don’t have a mate mark. I just have this terrible feeling of dread at the thought of you guys finding mates.”
“You’re jealous? At the idea of us having mates?” he asks, staring at me intently.
“No, not really jealous. Although, I think I would feel irritated if I saw you guys with other girls, which I know is totally fucked up and weird.” I groan and cover my eyes so I don’t have to see his reaction. I know I’m fucking crazy. “If you find your mates, it’s like you said before. They’ll become the center of your universe. I don’t want to lose you guys. I just have this crazy, witchy feeling that we belong together, and it’s going to kill me when someone else takes you away from me. Theo looked me straight in my eyes yesterday and promised I wouldn’t lose him. But that’s not true, and I can’t even be mad because it isn’t his fault.”
Cas pulls me completely into his lap and wraps his arms around me. I wrap my arms around his neck. I’m holding back tears when I look down at him.
“Baby, Theo didn’t lie when he said that. You’re not going to lose any of us. Ever. I swear to fucking god. We feel the same bond, and I think your magic is making us stronger too somehow. Weren’t you listening yesterday when I told you you’re part of the pack now?”
“I liked it when you said that, but I don’t really know what that means.”
“Honestly, I don’t think any of us understand yet. But it’s still true. Otherwise, Theo wouldn’t be able to use his alpha voice on you. Which he never should have done in the first place, by the way. We feel compelled to take care of you the same way we take care of each other. We’re family. Even if all three of us found our stupid mates tomorrow, that bond we share with you wouldn’t just magically go away. You’ll still be a part of our pack, part of our family. Hawthorne has already accepted you as one of us, and you’re not even a wolf!”
His words make my heart feel so much lighter, and I know everything he just said is true. I lower my face until our foreheads are pressed together and stare into his gold-speckled emerald eyes.
I hear his breath hitch, but he doesn’t move away from me. I’m practically purring when I whisper, “Do you promise?”
His voice is a growl again. “Yes, Cricket. I promise.”
I can’t hold myself back anymore. I want him so badly, and I feel closer to him than ever. I press my lips against his. My body and heart are in complete bliss, screaming that this is so right! I feel his arms tighten around me, and I’m about to deepen our kiss. But he pushes me away with this horrible grimace on his face.
My heart drops and I pull away further. I don’t even try to hide the utter dismay I’m feeling. “I’m sorry, I thought...”
He pulls me tightly against his chest with one arm around my waist and his other hand holding the back of my head. “Fuck, Cricket. Please…”
He sounds freaked out and desperate. I’m completely mortified. I want to run upstairs to my room and hide. I guess I read him wrong. I laugh awkwardly and try to play it off. “It’s okay. I’ve just, um, never been rejected before.”
Cas groans and pulls me away from his chest so he can look at me fully. “Fuck, of course you haven’t. Look at you. The last fucking thing I want to do right now is reject you, but stupid fucking Theo.”
I bite my lip, still feeling super embarrassed. “I told you, we’re not together.”
His eyes run over every inch of my body as he scowls. “It’s not that. I want you so badly I don’t even think that would stop me if that were the case. Theo used his goddamn alpha voice to issue the order that me and Hollis aren’t allowed to be anything more than friends with you. I was going to try to fight through it, but it hurt so fucking much. I couldn’t even kiss you for more than two seconds.”
“What!?” I let out a hysterical, half-laughing, half-choking noise.
“It’s because we all like you and are really fucking attracted to you, but we also want you to stick around.” He runs his hands down my sides to my hips and groans. “But Jesus, right now, it is absolute torture.”
I laugh and grab his hands. “I’m sorry. I don’t know if I should be more pissed off or flattered. I guess this makes things easier.”
Cas sighs and pouts at me. He twists a strand of my hair in his fingers. “Now that I’ve officially killed the mood, do you feel any better after talking? I felt terrible earlier when you were so sad at school.”
I nod and smile genuinely. “Cas, I feel a million times better. I’m so glad you came over. I thought I just needed space from you guys, but this is really what I needed. Thank you for being so honest and listening to me.”
His eyes light up, and he smiles. “Have I reached best friend status yet?”
I laugh and snuggle into him and let myself run my fingers through his gorgeous hair. It’s even softer than I thought it would be. I smirk at him and repeat his words from the other day. “Don’t be stupid.”
“So, that’s a yes, right?” He chuckles.
“Yes. We’re best friends.”
“I almost forgot,” he says. “I actually got you something. If my originally planned speech didn’t work, I was going to bribe you into letting me stay and talk.”
He reaches over the side of the couch and pulls up a paper shopping bag. I smile when I see the logo for The Sweet Spot on the bag. He pulls out a white box with a red ribbon tied around it. I open it to see the box is stuffed full of chocolate candies. My eyes light up, and I pop one into my mouth.
“Holy fuck, these are amazing. What are they?”
Cas laughs and eats one too. “I don’t know. The girl at the store said they were good. And I know you like chocolate.”
“Mmm, you definitely win. I totally would have been persuaded by that bribe.” I quickly eat two more before setting the box aside for later.
Cas laughs and reaches into the bag again. “I got you something else too.”
“More chocolate?”
“No, and it’s really fucking cheesy. You’re probably going to laugh.” He shakes his head and smiles shyly.
He pulls out a stuffed animal. It takes a second to register that it’s a black wolf with green eyes. His miniature. My lips part, and I grab the toy from him, totally speechless.
After several long seconds, I look up at him and feel my eyes getting watery. I can’t hold my tears back, and I bite my lip to keep it from quivering.
His eyes widen in alarm. “Cricket, it’s okay if you don’t like it. I know it’s stupid.”
I burst into tears and hug him and the stuffed animal tightly. “I love it. It’s my favorite thing anyone has ever given me.”
He laughs in relief and hugs me back. I pull back and wipe my eyes. Cas has the most gorgeous smile on his face, which makes me sniffle more.
“Cricket, you don’t need to cry. I’m glad you like it.”
We sit quietly. I’m still sitting in his lap with his arms around me, and it feels so natural. I’m looking down at my little Baby Cas toy and stroking the fake fur while Cas watches me. Stella comes in to check on me. She sniffs around me and Cas before taking off again. Aurora comes up from the workshop too, smiling warmly at us. I don’t feel embarrassed to be caught snuggling, so I don’t move an inch while she talks to us. She tells me she’ll be in her room if I need anything, and to make sure I lock up the shop downstairs whenever Cas leaves.
When I hear her bedroom door close, I ask, “Do you need to leave soon?”
He looks down at his watch and frowns. It’s almost eight. He nuzzles the top of my head and sighs sadly. “Yeah, I probably do. I wish I could stay longer.”
“That’s okay. We’ll hang out tomorrow. Besides, I think Killian and Emerson want me to get back online. I haven’t played with them much since I moved here.”
Cas gets a wicked grin on his face. “Yeah, how the fuck did I forget to ask about this? You know we play PUBG too, right? It’s been a while, but Theo and Hollis are going to totally fucking flip out.”
“Here, add your gamertag.” I hand him my controller. “We can play together when you get home. Is it weird if I ask if you want to play with my brothers too?”
He types in his gamertag while he shakes his head. “Fuck no, it’s not weird. It’ll take me like ten minutes to get home.”
A few minutes later, I put my headset on and invite Killian and Emerson to a party. Cas seemed excited to get home so we can play, and it made it easier to say goodbye when we were hugging downstairs in the dark, empty bookshop. I feel totally elated after talking to him. He’s so sweet and passionate, and I don’t think I’d realized that before. I know tomorrow I’ll need to give Theo a little extra attention after the way I acted today, but I’m confident that we’ll be okay and that Cas was right about everything.
“Well, well, finished already Cricket?” Killian snickers.
“Don’t be gross. We’re just friends.”
Emerson laughs. “Calm down, we’re only teasing. You didn’t need to get back on here if you wanted to hang out with your friend, Cricket.”
“Actually, he’s going home because he wants to play with us. You guys had better be fucking nice!”
They laugh, and Killian exclaims, “Fuck yes! We’ve been dying to talk to these dudes you’re hanging out with.”
I bitch and groan, but I’m secretly excited for them to talk to Cas and get to know him. I want my brothers to meet all three of the guys. Killian and Emerson have always been my favorite people in the world, and I want them to like my new best friends.
It only takes a few more minutes before Cas gets online, and I invite him to the party.
“Wow, you got home fast.” I tell him.
“Cricket, I drive a fucking Dodge Challenger.”
“What!? Why haven’t I seen it?”
Cas laughs. “Because Theo always drives. I’ll take you out this weekend or something, okay?”
“Are you gonna introduce us, or what?” Emerson interrupts us.
I chuckle and tell Cas which of my brothers is which, according to their gamertags.
Once that’s out of the way, Killian cuts in. “Okay, whatever. I want to hear more about your car.”
He asks all kinds of questions about the Challenger, and Cas answers back excitedly. I don’t even understand half the things they’re saying, but it’s cute listening to them.
“Meh, boring! Let’s play a fucking game already!” Emerson whines, making the rest of us laugh.
While we play, my brothers seem to get along with Cas. They’re laughing and talking, and Cas gets super intense and into the game, just like Emerson and I do. We’ve been playing for about twenty minutes when somebody else unexpectedly joins the party without an invite.
“What the fuck, Cas?” Theo’s voice cuts in. “You bitch at me literally every fucking time I don’t immediately tell you I’m online. And now you’re playing in a party with a bunch of random fucking people?”
“Fuck off, I’m playing with Cricket,” Cas grumbles.
There’s a long pause, and then Theo asks, “Cricket?”
“Hey, Theo.” I giggle.
“What the fuck. Why are you playing video games with Cas? I thought you were my best friend.”
