Quick & Reckless, page 11
No. Because that would have made things a million times harder. As much as I longed to hear your voice, reminisce about our time together, it was better that you didn’t.
“It’s okay. I have your number, too, and didn’t bother to get in touch.”
“You were dealing with a lot. I just didn’t want to intrude on your reinvention of yourself. Didn’t want to muddy the waters.”
And that’s why you’re such an incredible guy. You get women.
She shook her head, her nails lightly brushing the soft sprinkling of hair between his pecs. “I was. It’s okay.”
Could he be any more perfect? He was asking about her. Trent never would’ve asked about how she was doing or what she was feeling after what she’d gone through. Never in a million years. But Warren was different. He cared. And if she stayed around him any longer tonight, she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep her mouth shut and would destroy him. Destroy the nice guy inside. She had to get out. He deserved one more night, too. One more night of blissful ignorance.
At first, a part of her had resented Warren for not calling at least once over the past year to check on her, see how she was coping and moving on. But she quickly caught herself, knowing that she also had his number and had her own reasons for not calling him. She had her own shit to sort out, her own life to get in order. When he’d called earlier that day and his number popped up she’d stared at it for several rings before answering, wanting to delay the inevitable for just a few moments longer.
“You’re in a better place now, though, right?” he asked, shaking her from her reverie.
Silver nodded. She was. A different place. But there were so many things about it that were amazing, too. “I am. I’m in a great place.”
His hand drifted around her head to the nape of her neck, and he drew her close, chest to chest. She fought back a wince from the impact of his hard torso smashing against her tender breasts. “One more kiss before you go?”
One last kiss.
She nodded, closed her eyes and let Warren take her away.
The next day Silver found herself pacing the living room at her father’s house. She wasn’t normally a nail biter, at least she hadn’t been since she was eight, but she’d practically chewed her fingers down to nubs on the drive home last night. Her two pinky fingers were sporting Band-Aids now. Today was the day of reckoning, she just knew it.
“What’s got you so bothered?” asked Gail, her father’s fiancée, coming around the corner. The woman moved with such grace, you’d think she floated. Dark hair kept in a stylish bob, bright blue eyes—the woman was a looker. No wonder her father had fallen for her. And of course, her personality was just as beautiful. A kind soul with her own scars and tales of woe, she’d been the perfect balm to Silver’s dad’s own broken heart. He’d never gotten over losing her mother, and as far as Silver knew, hadn’t dated since. But since he’d found Gail, he was happy and so full of life. She was thankful for the woman in more ways than Gail probably knew.
Silver shook her head. “Nerves.”
Gail’s smile was one of comfort, and even though she couldn’t really do anything to ease Silver’s anxiety, somehow Silver still felt better. “What have you got to be worried about? I’m the one getting married. I’ve never worn a wedding dress in my life, and now here I am doing it in my fifties. You think I was stupid to go with white?”
Silver eyed her soon-to-be-stepmother. “I think every woman deserves to wear white on their wedding day at least once. You’re going to look incredible.”
Gail rested her hand on Silver’s shoulder. “Then what’s got you all in a tither, Silvie?”
Just then there was a knock at the front door. Silver’s stomach did a big flip-flop.
Gail’s face split into a big grin. “I bet you that’s Warry. He texted to say he was on his way.”
She gave Silver’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before she made her way through the hallway to the door.
Silver’s stomach was suddenly in her throat, and she was plagued with the need to throw up. But all that was quashed when a strident cry from down the hall jarred her from her impending misery and brought her back to reality. She was moving toward the sound before she told her feet to move.
It was dark in her father’s study, dark and quiet. The perfect place for an afternoon nap. And although she had a baby monitor, she didn’t like Ava being so far away in one of the many bedrooms upstairs. Her father’s house was huge, and putting Ava upstairs felt like putting her in another zip code. The baby’s face was scrunched into one of total fury: red cheeks, squinting eyes and a gummy mouth that was screaming for a nipple.
Desperate to avoid what was going on in the foyer, Silver scooped her child up out of the bassinet and walked over to her father’s recliner, shushing and cooing as she went.
“It’s okay, lovey,” she said softly, lifting her shirt and unsnapping her nursing bra. “Mama’s right here.” She cradled the baby in her lap, and Ava immediately found her breast. She was latched on in seconds, silencing her warbles and cries.
Silver let out an exhausted sigh. She’d been up all night. And not with Ava. Ava had slept well. But by the time she’d returned from seeing Warren, it was nearly midnight, and the thoughts of him, of their time together and how he was going to react to seeing her today, bombarded her. Her friend and neighbor Kylie had watched Ava while Silver was with Warren. Kylie knew the whole story, and while she understood Silver’s desire for one night with Warren, she also knew the importance of telling him the truth and had given Silver shit for not coming clean last night.
Silver glanced down at Ava. Her eyes were open, but it was still too early to tell what color they would end up being. Gray like Silver’s? Blue? Trent’s had been brown.
“Fuck,” she muttered under her breath. “Mummy’s gone and messed everything up.” She ran her hand over the top of Ava’s head. The hair was feather-soft. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
Thankfully, babies can take forever to nurse. And Ava had been famished, so it was a good forty minutes of self-loathing and strained hearing to try to figure out what was being said in the living room. She heard muffled voices, but the house was pretty good for keeping noises in each room, so she couldn’t hear anything specific. She knew he was there, though. Could feel his energy, and even though the door was shut, Silver could have sworn she smelled his unique and intoxicating scent as well. Fresh linen, cut grass and mint.
Ava’s mouth popped off, and she snuggled in close to Silver’s breast. Silver simply sat there. She needed a moment more of peace before she stepped out to face what was inevitably going to be shock and confusion, followed quickly by utter contempt. Ava squirmed, made a face and began to cry again. Well, so much for peace. Silver’s eyes roamed the room for where Gail had put the diaper bag.
“It’ll be a small affair, only twenty or so people,” Silver could heart Gail explaining as she made her way out of her father’s den. The living room was empty, so that left the sitting room or the balcony. Silver’s money was on the balcony. It was one of Gail’s favorite places. The woman spent most of her time out there. Her father’s house was set in prestigious West Vancouver and offered a stunning view of not only downtown Vancouver but also the ocean, so Gail made the most of it and was out there any chance she could get. Silver couldn’t blame her; as a kid she’d lived on the balcony as well. The sunset alone was spectacular and something postcards were made of.
Propping Ava up on her shoulder and patting her back to work out a burp, Silver made her way out to the deck. She’d have to face the music at some point; why delay it any longer? Sooner or later, Gail would come looking for her.
“I’m guessing Silvie ran off to deal with Ava,” Gail went on as Silver drew nearer. “You two will probably get along swimmingly. Lovely girl. Sad story though. She was left at the … ” Silver stepped out on to the deck just as Gail was about to go into detail about her wedded woes. Gail’s mouth snapped shut when she noticed Silver.
Warren’s back was to Silver. Of course. More torture. She had to watch as it dawned on him who she was.
“Silvie, honey, come meet Warry,” Gail said with a big and completely oblivious smile. Silver took a hesitant step forward just as Warren spun around in his seat, a smile the same size as his mother’s on his impossibly handsome face. Only just as quickly as the smile was there, it was gone.
Confusion flooded his beautiful blue eyes. Next was hurt. His gaze drifted to Ava. Then finally the anger—or was that rage?—replaced all other emotions. A muscle along his jaw ticked as he stood up and turned his big body around to face her.
Gail was still blissfully oblivious. But inside, Silver was a nervous wreck. Her legs wobbled, and she moved closer to an empty chair in case they suddenly gave way and she needed to sit down.
“Silvie, this is my son Warry.”
Warren rolled his eyes. “Warren, Mum.” He focused his eyes back on Silver. “Is your name something else besides Silvie? My mother loves nicknames.”
Silver swallowed the enormous lump in her throat, whispering, “Silver.”
Still completely innocent to the mounting tension under the hot June sun, Gail swooped in next to Silver. “And this little bundle of deliciousness is Ava.” Silver relinquished her full-bellied and fresh-diapered infant to Gail’s arms. “Isn’t she just a dream?” Gail gushed, cradling Ava against her chest. “And in a few short days, she’s going to be my grandbaby.” Warren’s eyes went wide. “Well, step-grandbaby. But step is such a garish term. She can call me Nana if she wants to. None of this Step-Nana bull. I’ll be Nana. Or maybe Grams?”
Silver’s heart was going to beat out of her chest any minute. Yes, in just a few short days, Warren and Silver would be stepbrother and -sister.
Family.
Siblings.
And as much as she longed for him at that moment, craved his touch, and a look of anything but the fury he was smoldering with at the moment, she couldn’t deny the sudden feeling of bile threatening to rise in her throat.
Stepbrother.
Warren slowly peeled his eyes away from Silver and let them fall back down to Ava. His expression softened slightly. “How old is she?” he asked, though it came out as more of a croak. He was still grinding his teeth and clenching his jaw.
Gail’s eyes lifted to Silver. “Three months or so now, eh, Silvie? Born in mid-March?”
Silver took a deep breath. “March eighteenth.”
Warren’s chest was lifting and falling just as quickly as Silver’s. His nostrils flared like a wild animal getting ready to flee or pounce.
Gail clucked her tongue at Ava. “Such a pretty baby. Don’t you think, War?” She looked back up to Warren, whose face was now five shades paler. He looked about ready to pass out.
Warren simply nodded back, swallowing. “Beautiful.”
Ava began to fuss, her little arms flailing as she fought to get up and off her back. Gail was quick to change her position and prop her up, shushing and consoling as she went. Only that didn’t seem to satisfy the babe much, and her face went bright red, her limbs still flying around as if trying to fly and ride a bike at the same time.
“You want to try?” Gail asked, turning to Warren. “For some reason babies always calm down around you.”
Warren’s mouth dropped open, and Silver’s stomach twisted into a giant knot.
He held out his arms, and Gail placed the furious infant into his grasp. Ava quieted down immediately. Her eyes grew wide, and she gaped at him. Warren held her out in front of him, propping her up in his palms and along his forearms. She seemed to like that position. It gave her a great view of the new person holding her, and she wasn’t on her back.
“Gorgeous, right?” Gail swooned.
Warren swallowed. “Incredibly.”
Silver stood there frozen, watching Warren hold her child and stare down into her eyes, the pieces of the last year clicking into place inside his head. His gaze found hers, and she winced. Her eyes immediately dropped to her feet.
“See,” Gail elbowed Silver, “what did I tell you? Warry’s the baby whisperer. Not that we were around a lot of babies as he was growing up. But the odd one always seemed to calm down with him.”
Warren couldn’t take his eyes off Ava. And the feeling seemed to be mutual. She stared just as intently, just as curiously at him.
Suddenly, Ava made another face, her cheeks went bright red, and then a little noise broke the silence.
“Uh … ” Warren said, avoiding Silver and instead looking at his mother. “I felt something.”
Gail grinned down at Ava again. “That’s babies for ya. Why, Warry here, he used to fill his nappy a few times an hour after a good nurse. Don’t worry yourself, Silv. Take a load off, I’ll go change her.” Then before Silver could dismiss the notion and take Ava back from Warren, Gail swooped in, took Ava from Warren and absconded with her child.
“What the fuck?” was the first thing out of Warren’s mouth.
Silver studied her sandaled feet. “I’m sorry.”
“You have a baby?”
Silver didn’t say anything.
“Why didn’t you say anything last night?” His eyes went wide as if a light bulb had just gone off inside his head. “Fuck. It’s all starting to make sense now.”
Because she was fat now. Yup, she could see him connecting the dots around her mummy tummy.
“No wonder your tits are so big and you wouldn’t let me touch them. Afraid you’d shoot me in the eye.”
Well, yeah, that too.
He was shaking his head a lot. “Why didn’t you say anything to me last night?”
“I—I just wanted a night like before. One night. So much has changed, and for one night, I wanted to pretend that it hadn’t.”
He opened his mouth to say something when Gail swooped back in with Ava. “I’m going to go and get lunch ready. Here.” She passed Ava back to Silver. “Your father just texted to say he’s going to be a bit late. There was an accident on the Lion’s Gate Bridge, so he’s stuck in traffic.”
Silver let out a sigh. Unlike Gail, who appeared to think the world was just one big flower-scented unicorn fart with rainbows and puppies, her father still had one foot on earth and was much more in tune to the tension or vibe of a room. He’d pick up on the hostility Warren was throwing at her within five minutes of being in the house.
Silver nodded at Gail, as did Warren, and then her soon-to-be-stepmother floated back into the house. Soon the sound of pots and pans and dishes filled the air.
She hadn’t even noticed Warren move closer to her until his fingers were around her bicep. “You’re going to talk now, Silvie. I want the truth. All of it.” God, would he ever look at her the way he had last night? With such craving and care? No, probably not. Never again. And she deserved it. She deserved worse.
Chapter ten
Warren
Holy fuck!
Holy. Fuck!
Warren’s head spun. So many thoughts. Fuck, emotions, too. Way, way too many for his guy-brain to handle all at once were cannoning around inside his head, bouncing off each other, sticking and blending until all he felt was something akin to fear-anger-confusion and … was that love? How the hell could he feel love toward a woman who had ultimately betrayed him? Kept a huge secret from him? His gaze fell down to the babe. His heart lurched.
Fuck.
Tightening his grip on her bicep, he hauled Silver over to the far side of the large balcony, so they were farthest way from the door to the house.
“Am I the father?”
Her throat undulated on a swallow. “I don’t know.”
“How many possibilities are there?” Had she been with other guys right after he’d left? He couldn’t blame her if she had. He certainly hadn’t been celibate this past year. There hadn’t been a ton of women. Maybe three in total, and they were all just itch-scratching flings when he was away for business.
She looked down at the babe. “Just you or Trent.”
His eyes went wide. “And you haven’t eliminated him as a possibility, yet?”
His gut ached. Was he going to vomit?
“I haven’t seen him since the wedding. I don’t want to see him.”
Rage, slowly percolating inside him, burst forth. “Why didn’t you call me? Tell me I might be a father.”
How could she not call him? If Ava was his, he’d already missed out on three months of her life. Had he not come to Vancouver for the wedding, how much of her life would he have missed? Would he have ever found out he was a father? Was he a father?
“We need to do a DNA test now. Today.”
“I … ” She started to stay something but stopped, hung her head even further and simply nodded. “Okay.”
Warren threw his hands into his hair and spun around on his heel, stalking away. “Jesus Christ, Silver. I could be a father, her father, and you didn’t bother to even let me know. Why?” He faced her again. He needed answers. He needed all the answers.
He knew they’d forgotten a condom that first time. But he hadn’t come inside her. Pull and pray, wasn’t that the Catholic way?
And look how many children those guys have. Clearly not a proven method of birth control there, mate.
He ran his hands through his hair again, unable to think of anything else to do.
And then it hit him. Had she planned this? She’d suggested they get drunk. Was that with the hope they’d forget a condom and she’d get pregnant? Lifting his head, he glared at her. “Did you plan this?”
Her eyes went wide. “No!”
“How can I be sure? You wanted to get drunk and have sex. Were you hoping I’d forget the condom again? Maybe that was your plan all along. Have a secret baby with a man you’d never see again. Start your life over with someone else’s child. If it wasn’t for our parents getting married, would I have ever found out?”
Ava’s eyes blinked a few times and focused on him from Silver’s arm. Already, at only three months, her eyes were as blue as his, he was sure of it. Did she have his nose, too? His heart constricted in his chest at the possibility of this tiny thing being his. Being a part of him.
