Jacob's Star, page 4
Grant rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “True. There’s that hurdle.”
“How fair is that, though?” I defended with a good amount of ire.
“Explain,” the two sitting opposite me said at the exact same time.
I darted my gaze back and forth between them, wondering suddenly if this whole thing was a damn setup. Did one of them just step on the other’s line delivery?
“What’s going on here?” I asked suspiciously.
“It’s a stupid thing we all say,” Grant clarified. “Just explain what you meant, and don’t start acting all woo-woo X-Files on us.”
With his face screwed up, Elijah gave him a sideways stare. “Woo-woo X-Files?”
“Shut up.”
I laughed into my bottle before tipping the thing back and draining it.
Grant held up his hand to signal our waitress to bring another round. This dude was super handy to have at the table because with a reach as long as his, I was sure the bartender at the front of the establishment saw his hail.
“Finish your damn thought, Cole.”
“I don’t even remember what I was saying.” With both hands, I squeezed the top of my head, trying to relieve some of the day’s pressure.
“You were saying something wasn’t fair, and I think it was with regard to Sebastian flipping his ever-loving mind when he finally puts all these pieces together.” Banks refreshed my memory while not missing another chance to let me know just how pissed the big guy was going to be about all of this.
I leaned back to let the server set our fresh beers in front of us while supplying, “Or the two of you do it for him?”
“Or that,” he muttered.
“I don’t think he should take it out on me when I had nothing to do with the secret being kept. Do you honestly think I’m the kind of man who would father a child and then shirk my responsibilities? I get that you don’t know me the way you know each other, but if she throws me to the wolves like that to protect herself? Also not fair.”
Elijah spoke with reason then. “I hear you, man. This whole situation is fucked up. It always has been. Having to watch her struggle to raise that little girl by herself? Only taking help from any of us when we either forced her to or she literally had no other choice? It’s been very frustrating.”
Grant nodded along in agreement and then added, “Yeah, Cassiopeia is a Shark through and through. Always has been.”
“That’s another thing!” I shouted, only realizing how much volume my voice had gained when patrons at several of the nearby tables turned to look at us.
“What are you looking at?” Elijah growled, and most went back to their own conversations. One or two women became more interested.
“Sorry,” I apologized. “Sorry. But she never told me her real name. In four years. Why all the secrecy?”
They both stared at me like I was an idiot missing the big reason.
“Now that you know who her brother is, why do you think? The woman wanted some privacy from the press and from people trying to get in good with her big brother.”
Frustrated, I said, “But we were in love.”
They both tilted their heads, one to the left, the other to the right, and it was like watching a rehearsed routine.
“It’s like a portal to nineteen fifty-five opened up and spit you out, Jacob Cole.”
“I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean, but I’m ready to change the subject. What’s new with you guys?”
Chapter Five
Pia
Fighting every urge to tell the driver to head west to the water, I confirmed my home address and tried to recover from the conversation I’d just had with Jack.
Or Jacob.
For fuck’s sake, this whole thing was ridiculous. From dancing around remembered names and trying to forget old feelings that came right back to the surface regardless of how successfully I thought I’d banished them. How? How with seeing him just one time did it all change?
Years. It had been years without him in my life, and I was fine with that. I was totally fine. And yes, I’d finally started dating again, but I certainly wasn’t in the market for a permanent man in my life now, either.
But no. One look from him at that meeting this afternoon, one statement in that deep, sexy voice he used to bathe me in to have his way with my body, and here I sat in the back of a freaking Uber, rethinking every detail of the life plan I had laid out for us.
And by us I meant my daughter and me.
I didn’t need a man to swoop in and fix my world. There wasn’t a thing wrong with it. In fact, it, unlike this day, had been going right along as planned. And that plan was perfectly fine before he showed back up.
I was very young when I graduated from the University of California, San Francisco. I had done so much studying and overachieving through high school, by the time I was ready to move on with my life at a university, I already had enough credits to start with my second year. In the end, it meant a very young, scared, and accidentally pregnant twenty-one-year-old woman had walked across the commencement stage, smiled for the cameras of her loved ones in attendance, and then ran to the nearest restroom to hurl my guts out.
Luckily, I blamed that day on nerves and my screwed-up health in general. I was the lucky winner of the type 1 diabetes lottery and quickly found out another thing I’d been naïve about. Getting pregnant and carrying a child to term could be dangerous, if not deadly, for the unborn infant and me if I didn’t step up and take responsibility for what was going on inside my body.
It wasn’t long before I had to come clean with my brother, who in true Sebastian Shark style launched a manhunt for the person responsible for ruining my life, as he so coldly labeled my pregnancy for the first five months.
I’d infuriated him by refusing to provide a single detail about the father of my child and, for the first time, was thrilled he had left the country. Not that an ocean would’ve stopped Bas from tracking the man down, but by the time I was hospitalized the first time during my pregnancy and the doctors warned whatever stress I was under needed to lighten up or I’d be right back there again, he saw what his version of support was doing to my unborn child and me.
I slipped my key into the lock of the front door and quietly went inside. Sometimes I could sneak in and find Vela reading to Wren or sitting at her piano, practicing with a deep scowl of concentration. Both activities always melted my heart the moment my ears were treated to the sound, so the extra caution entering the house was worth it.
“Hello.” My amazing young friend smiled up from whatever she was stirring on the stove. “I didn’t think you’d be back so soon.”
“Hi. Yeah, it was just a quick meeting.” I set my bags down on one of the kitchen chairs and looked around. “Where’s Vela?”
“In the tub.” Wren raised a brow. “She said she wanted some alone time.”
“Is that right?” I couldn’t help but smile because the girl was truly growing up too fast, and at the same time had a habit of repeating things she’d heard the adults around her say with no actual idea of their meaning.
“I’ll peek in on her when I get changed. Hopefully, she’s not giving herself a haircut again.” I kicked my heels off and scooped them up with my fingers as I headed down the hall toward my daughter’s bedroom.
“Hi, Star,” I called into her bathroom. “How was your afternoon, sweetheart?”
There was some sloshing before she answered. “Mama? That you?”
“Sure is. I’m just going to get my pajamas on. Then I can dry you off if you’d like?”
“I can do it myself,” she called from behind the closed door. “Is dinner ready?”
“Almost, I think. Hungry?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Hang up your towel, please.”
“’Kaaaay.”
Laughing to myself, knowing I’d be in that bathroom picking up the towel later, I went into my own closet to strip away the day. The thought of a hot bath sounded so good, but after the altercation I had with Vela at SE earlier, I wanted to spend some time with her before she went to bed.
I wasn’t fond of her having dinner so late, but sometimes a homemade meal just couldn’t be accomplished sooner. I learned a long time ago to let go of the little stuff and do the best I could, where I could. Even with a full-time helper with her, it was hard to keep her on the perfect schedule.
“Pia?”
“Yeah?” I poked my head out of my walk-in closet to find Wren at my bedroom door. “Come in. What’s up?”
“I heard your phone chiming,” Wren said, thrusting my handbag toward me. “Not sure if you were expecting anyone still this evening.”
“Thank you. Vela should be done but said she wanted to dry herself off. But also mentioned she was hungry. Can you tap on the door again on your way past and tell her it’s time to get out?”
“Already done. She’s getting her pj’s on. Are you hungry? Do you want me to set a place for you?”
“No, I ate, but I’m going to come sit with her while she eats. I hate the way things went today at SE. I can’t shake it and feel like I need to get some cuddles or something.”
“All right, see you in a couple minutes, then.”
Digging through my purse, I fished out my phone and unlocked the screen to see who was trying to reach me. A new text message was waiting from a number I didn’t recognize.
I appreciate you meeting me this evening. I wasn’t kidding when I said you really look good.
Sorry, who is this?
The father of your child. Add me to your contacts, Star. You’re going to be hearing from me a lot.
Jacob, don’t do this. We aren’t going to be rekindling any sort of relationship.
You know I don’t give up easily. Remember how we met in the first place?
Damn this man. What kind of question was that? Of course I remembered how we met. I remembered everything about our time together in vivid detail. Detail I tried to banish from my memory so many times I drove myself mad with the effort.
Now, nearly ten years later, when I’d finally given myself permission to live a little, date again without guilting myself until I was all but sick over it, he materialized out of thin air.
I refused to think about it tonight anymore. I’d vowed to spend time with Vela, and that was what I planned on doing. So I pulled on my comfiest pajama set and robe and shuffled back to the kitchen, where she was kneeling on one of the stools at the island, as she often did. It nearly gave me a heart attack ever since she’d fallen from that exact position and hit her chin on the granite counter on the way down, biting through her lip in the process.
Lord, the blood and the wailing, which in turn just caused more bleeding. Between Wren and I, we couldn’t console the girl. Thank God my brother was in town when it happened. One fast swoop in from Uncle Bas and his on-call doctor.
The man had her laughing and stitched up while my assistant and I cleaned up the kitchen and all sanguine traces, and by the next day, she was kneeling on the damn stool again, not having learned a single lesson from the incident. I’d had the counter stools replaced with a different style that had backs that circled nearly three quarters around the entire seat and threatened to have a lap belt installed on one if she kept kneeling on hers. That had worked for about a week, and well, here we were.
“Please sit on your bottom, my love. Remember when you fell?”
“Mammmma,” she said, exhausted with me already, “that was eight hundred years ago.” She rolled her eyes for good measure in case I didn’t pick up on her feelings for me by tone alone.
“Did you just roll your eyes at me, Vela Shark?” I asked, and Wren shuffled out of the room to give us some privacy.
“You so overdamatic all the time, though,” she said and shoveled some dinner into her mouth with her fork.
“It’s over-dra-matic,” I corrected.
After swallowing she repronounced, “Overdramatic.”
“Better.”
“I’m not a baby. I’m not gonna fall.”
“Going to fall,” I corrected.
“Mooooom,” Vela dragged out.
“Do you want to sound like a Neanderthal, or do you want to sound like a proper, educated young lady?”
She scrunched up her little face. “What’s a nee…a knee…a what?”
I laughed. “Never mind. How else will you learn the proper way to say words if you’re not taught?”
“I know, but you just sound like a nag. Uncle Bas is right.”
“Uncle Bas said I’m a nag? Is that so? Hmmm.”
“Oh, now he’s in trouble. I know dat sound.” An evil little grin spread across her lips as she shoveled the last bite of her dinner in.
“That sound,” I corrected.
“Mooooom!” She whined again, and I grinned.
“And you’re right, he is in trouble. Lots and lots of trouble.”
I waited to be sure she was finished chewing before engaging her in more conversation, or I’d be wearing her dinner. “What do you think of Uncle Elijah and Auntie Hannah expecting a baby? It’s so exciting, isn’t it?”
“Yes! I hope so very much they have a girl. Since K is going to have another brother, I really want a girl this time.”
“How do you know Aunt Abbi is having another boy? What makes you say that?”
She tapped her temple and narrowed her eyes. “I just have a feeling.”
“Have you now? Interesting. Are you done?” I motioned to her empty supper dish. “Do you want seconds?”
“No, I’m so full,” Vela answered and comically rubbed her tummy. “Thank you, though. Do I have to go to bed?”
“I’d like to spend some time with you if you would like to?” I offered hopefully.
“Yay! What do you want to do? Play a game? Watch TV?”
“You pick tonight. I’m all yours.”
Well, that was all she needed to hear, and she was off like a shot. “I have a new game in my room. Do you want to see?”
“I would love that. Let me put your dishes in the dishwasher really quick.”
But of course, Wren reappeared the way she always did and snatched them right from my hands so I could spend some precious time with my daughter.
Vela and I sat in the middle of the floor on her big sunflower area rug as my brilliant little star explained the rules of her board game to me, and we set off on a fiercely competitive round of the game. We were Sharks, after all, and there was no sense playing a game if you weren’t playing to win.
“You know how I correct your words all the time?” I asked between rolls of the bright-pink dice.
“Yes,” she answered. “Oh, I almost got the bad queen there! So close!” She threw herself onto her back with relief.
“That was a close call!” I agreed when she sat up and then got serious as I took my turn. “It’s just part of my job as your mama, that’s all. I’m not trying to act like I know everything. Goodness knows I make tons of mistakes every day.”
“You make mistakes?” She looked up so fast, as though I’d just told her Santa was stopping by to play the winner.
“Heck yeah, I do. Look at what happened today at Uncle Bas’s office. When I scolded you. That was a mistake.” I held up my hand so she would let me finish. “The part that was the mistake was losing my temper in front of everyone. I definitely didn’t appreciate all the attitude you were giving me, but there were a lot of confusing things going on for both of us. I should not have taken it out on you. But here’s how I’m going to fix it.”
I waited for her to realize the silence that settled over the room meant I was waiting for her attention.
When she met my eyes with her innocent, guileless, blue ones, I told my daughter, “I’m sorry, Vela. I’m sorry I lost my temper today. If I embarrassed you at all, I apologize for that as well. Please forgive me. I love you more than the entire world, and sometimes I don’t get it right. But I do the best I know how.”
Vela patted my hand with her much smaller one. “It’s okay, Mama. Here, it’s still your turn.” She put the pink dice in my palm, and we finished our game.
While she might have beaten me in the board game that I honestly never really saw the actual objective of, my heart felt like I won the night. When I tucked her in bed, she hugged me a little tighter and a little longer than usual and told me she loved me three times before I turned out the light and her night light clicked on.
Stars projected onto her ceiling like they had every night since the day I brought her home from the hospital, and a peace settled over my world.
Wren was putting the last of the dishes away when I came back out into the kitchen and went straight for the bottle of wine in the refrigerator.
“Join me?” I lifted a brow and the bottle, and her grin was the only answer I needed. I pulled two glasses down from the cabinet and brought the wine into the family room, and we both fell into the sofa. I poured us both a healthy amount and then plunked the bottle onto the coffee table and sank back into the cushion.
“One of those days?” the young girl asked.
“My God, if you only knew.”
“Does this have anything to do with Vela’s latest daddy sighting?”
“What?” When I looked at my friend, she was hiding her grin—or trying to—behind her glass.
“What did she tell you? My God that child is going to give me gray hair before I’m due.” I downed half the wine in my goblet after saying that.
“Well, she made it very clear this was not the same situation as with Mr. Hogan at school, so I wasn’t even to mention that,” Wren said, and we both burst out laughing.
When we finally calmed down, I asked again, “Seriously, though, unless you feel like you’d be betraying her confidence—because I want her to have someone other than me she knows she can have private conversations with—I’d love to know more about this.”
“She asked me on the drive home if I noticed that man in Sebastian’s office that wasn’t one of her uncles, and I told her I only got a quick look at the faces in the room. But she kept pressing the issue with ‘the one my mommy was staring at, the one my mommy was being mean to, the one that looks like me. Just like me.’”
