The Exception, page 28
I pressed my lips to his, but when he didn’t kiss me back, my heart sank. He gestured to the door. “Could we go inside and talk?”
I swallowed. “Yeah. Of course.”
I unlocked the door, walked in, and put my keys on the kitchen counter. Jagger looked uncomfortable, standing just inside the doorway. “Do you want coffee or something?”
He nodded. “Thanks.”
He took a seat on the couch while I buzzed around making a pot of coffee. We hadn’t been together the last few weeks, but I thought him going after Silas had meant something. Perhaps I was wrong. He was a protective man, and maybe I’d read into his actions, making them mean more than they did. I’d been jumping out of my skin, anxious to talk to him, but now that he was here, I took my time preparing his mug because I was nervous about what he might say. Eventually, I couldn’t stall anymore.
I passed him his cup and took the seat on the chair across from him, rather than the couch. “Did they charge you with anything?”
He gulped down half his coffee and shook his head. “Not yet.”
“But they still might?”
Jagger shrugged. “My lawyer said it was a possibility. He doesn’t think the detective believes I didn’t do what the guy said I did, but I’m not sure they care.” He caught my eye. “Thank you, by the way, for not telling them what you saw when you walked in.”
“It’s the least I could do after what you’ve done for me.”
Jagger looked down for a long time before meeting my eyes. “Come here.”
My heartbeat sped up. I wanted to be close to him more than anything, but I still had an ounce of self-protection left in me. “Why?”
“Because I need you, Sutton.” His voice was raw and gritty. “So fucking much.”
I moved to the couch, but left space between us. Jagger looked at the gap, then me, then the gap, and shuffled closer. The simple gesture said so much—Jagger was the kind of man who took what he wanted. If he wanted me close, he normally would just pull me to him. But now he was giving instead of taking.
I shook my head. “I don’t understand what happened between us.”
He nodded. “I know. There’s a lot I need to tell you. Most of it doesn’t have anything to do with you, but it might explain why I am the way I am.”
“Okay…”
He reached for my hand. “Before I start, I need to apologize. I’m so sorry I hurt you, Sutton.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” He shook his head. “I knew I was going to, but I’m so damn selfish, I couldn’t keep away. There were a million red flags waving around, a million reasons why it was a bad idea to get involved, yet I fucking ignored them all.”
“There might’ve been very good reasons to keep your distance, but there was a stronger reason for us to be together.” I put my hand over my heart. “What feels right in here outweighs all the wrongs.”
Jagger wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. I could barely breathe, but it didn’t matter; I would’ve stayed like this forever. It felt so good to be in his arms again. Too soon, though, he pulled back. He looked into my eyes for a long time before taking a deep breath.
“When I was six years old, I learned to pick the locks on mailboxes because my mother believed the government was sending all of our neighbors a letter about her. I would break into a dozen a day and bring my mother the mail I found, and she would burn it all in the bathtub. When I was twelve, I convinced the guy who owned the pizza place I was fifteen and got a job delivering pies on my bike in order to pay the rent because my mother hadn’t come home in a few weeks.”
I squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry.”
Jagger shook his head. “I’m not telling you this because I want you to feel bad for me. I’m telling you because I want you to understand what having control means to me. Paying the rent meant I was certain to have a roof over my head, and burning the mail meant my mother might not ramble all night and I could sleep. But I was also a dumb kid with no one watching me, so I was out of control. When I was a teenager, I got arrested four times in a year, and I wound up going into the Marines because it was that or prison. I hated the military when I first enlisted, but as time went on, I grew to appreciate the rules and order. And I realized if I did what I was told, I’d move up in the ranks, which meant I got to be the one making the rules instead of listening to them. But I never fully understood the gravity of what could happen when I fucked up.”
He looked down, and when he looked back up, there were tears in his eyes. “I met my buddy John Nelson in boot camp. We had a team of men we were responsible for, but John always deferred to me when it came to tactical decisions. One assignment, we were supposed to be checking a village, making sure no insurgents were hiding out. We’d been there two days, and the only things around were a bunch of families and happy kids who liked to play jump rope. The night before we were supposed to leave, I made the stupid decision to let our men make a fire. I still have no idea what the hell I was thinking.”
He paused, and his eyes became distant. It made me wonder if he was reliving what had happened.
“I woke up to gunshots. Insurgents had captured three of our men, including John. When I came running, they caught me. And they made me watch them execute each one of them.” Jagger closed his eyes and continued. “They put the barrel of the gun in each of their mouths and pulled the trigger like they weren’t even human.”
“Oh, God.” Tears streamed down my face. Just like he was going to do to Silas.
“I almost became the same thing they were.”
“But you didn’t do it, Jagger. You didn’t.”
“I’m fucked up, Sutton. You’re better off without me. Yet here I am again.”
I squeezed his hand. “I’m not better off without you. Just the opposite. I’m better because of you.”
• • •
Hours later, we were in the bedroom lying down. We’d spent the entire day talking. Jagger had told me a dozen stories about John Nelson, and I’d opened up about how closed off I’d become to everyone except Miles after what happened to me in college. It was like once we weren’t afraid to be honest with each other, we couldn’t stop sharing truths.
We’d both been up for more than twenty-four hours, and I knew when Jagger looked at the time on his phone that he needed to go home to his nieces soon. He brushed a lock of hair from my face. “Move in with me.”
“Isn’t this how we got ourselves into this mess to begin with? You asked me to stay with you, and you pushed me away when I wouldn’t.”
“I asked you to stay with me because I wanted to protect you. But now I’m asking for the right reasons. I’m asking because I realize my day is better when I wake up next to you.”
My heart melted. “That’s really sweet. And I’d like to move in with you. Soon. Just not right away.”
Jagger frowned. “Why not?”
“Because I’ve spent the last eight years being afraid, and I’m just starting to feel independent. When I walked home today, even just from the subway station, I felt different—freer knowing Silas can’t get to me anymore. I’m still healing, still figuring out who I am. And I want to do that outside of us.”
I could tell Jagger didn’t like not getting his way, yet he didn’t push. Though he wouldn’t have been the successful businessman he was if he didn’t try to negotiate. “How about two nights a week at my place?”
I smiled. “How about one, we exchange keys, and we can come and go from each other’s places whenever we want?”
“And we make the relationship public at work so I don’t have to keep my distance there since I won’t be coming home to you at night.”
“My internship doesn’t have that much time left anyway.”
“And then you’ll be in the executive training program.”
I sucked in my lower lip. “I’m not sure if I’m going to accept that offer yet.”
Jagger sat upright. “Why not?”
“Because I’m not sure it will be healthy to work for someone I’m involved with. I feel like it might blur the lines. I like your bossiness in the bedroom, but in the office too? I’m not sure that would be good.”
“I’m not bossy at work.”
I smiled. “Yes, you are, and you know it. You’ll just say anything right now to get your way.”
“I can work on it.”
“I need a little time to think about it all.”
“Fine.”
My smile widened. “You’re cute when you pout.”
“Oh yeah?” Jagger rolled on top of me. “Am I cute when I hold you in place by your throat and use your body for only my pleasure? Because that’s what’s about to happen.”
I hadn’t slept in more than a day, but suddenly my body felt fully invigorated. “No, then you’re sexy.”
He flashed a wicked grin that probably should’ve made me nervous. “Arms up. I need you naked.” Jagger stripped me out of my clothes and took care of his as well. “Bend your knees and spread your legs.”
God, I’d missed this. Missed him.
Jagger slid down and ran a finger through my center. “Wet for me already?”
“Well, you’ve deprived me for the last two weeks.”
“I have a lot to make up to you then.” He flattened his tongue and licked me from one end to another. It felt like a million little nerve endings woke up. I arched off the bed, and Jagger pushed me flat to the mattress. “Keep still or I’ll tie your arms and legs down.”
I thought about moving on purpose, but I didn’t have cuffs or rope, and even if I had, those would’ve taken too long. I needed him fast. So instead, I closed my eyes and let them roll into the back of my head as he sucked on my clit. It didn’t take long before I was panting. Digging my hands into Jagger’s hair, I moaned. “Please, I need you.”
“Fuck…” Jagger crawled up my body. “Say that again.”
“Please, I need you.”
He held my gaze as he pushed inside me in one rough thrust.
I gasped. “More.”
Jagger wrapped a hand around my neck, his long fingers curling and almost meeting at the back, and then he squeezed—not tight enough to restrict my breathing, but so I felt completely at his mercy. He leaned close to my ear and murmured, “Don’t come.”
“No! You can’t—”
My words were lost when he pulled out almost to the tip and slammed back in again. Then he slowed, stroking his cock in and out, rubbing against the tender spot he’d found on our first night together. When I let out a mewl, he leaned in again. “Do. Not. Come.”
Somehow I’d gone from a woman who was unable to have an orgasm with a man to a woman who couldn’t stop herself from having one. I was on the edge, so I decided he should be too and squeezed my muscles tight.
Jagger groaned. “Playing dirty. I like it.” He ducked his head and caught my nipple between his teeth. Tugging, he bit down almost to the point of pain. It sent a lightning bolt shooting through me, and my body started to pulsate. I should’ve known better than to challenge him.
“Christ…” He looked down at me, his eyes caressing my face, moving over his hand around my throat. “You look so beautiful right now. You look like mine.”
“I am yours. I have been since the first day we met.”
That did it. Jagger smashed his lips to mine. His hand at my neck fell away, and he kissed me until I was breathless. What had started as hot and rough slowed to beautiful and intimate. He glided in and out tenderly and pulled back to look into my eyes.
“Come with me, beautiful. Come with me.”
Jagger linked his fingers with mine and pulled my arms up over my head. He stared into my soul as my orgasm rolled through my body like a warm wave.
“Jagger,” I breathed.
He sped up his thrusts. “Right there with you, sweetheart. Always right there with you.”
After we caught our breaths, he glided in and out for the longest time. “I love you, Sutton.”
“I love you, too. For years, I felt like I needed to be fixed, but when I’m with you, I feel like it’s okay to be a little broken.”
Jagger kissed my lips. “Neither of us needs fixing, sweetheart. We just need each other, exactly as we are.”
Sutton
Almost a year later
“Come back here.” Jagger caught the bottom of my bathrobe and yanked as I stood from the bed. “We’re not done.”
I snort-laughed and tugged the silky material from his hand, hurrying to the bathroom. “I have to get ready for work.”
“It’s Saturday.”
“And? Since when does that matter? You often go into the office for a twelve-hour day.”
Jagger pouted. “Not when I’m still hard, and you’re naked under there.”
I started to wash up at the sink. My bossy CEO had woken me an hour ago with his head between my legs. I’d returned the favor on my knees. “I really think you should get that thing checked,” I yelled. “It’s supposed to deflate after you finish, you know.”
Jagger stalked into the bathroom. He came up behind me and tugged the tie of my robe. It opened and parted, exposing my breasts. “I’m never finished until I’m inside you.”
Remembering the last time he’d come into the bathroom and made me late for work—taking me from behind while we watched each other in the mirror—I was tempted to give in again. But then I remembered the meeting I had at nine. I turned around and pressed my lips to his.
“I can’t be late this morning. But I promise I’ll make it up to you when I get home.”
Home was now Jagger’s penthouse. I’d finally agreed to move in with him two months ago. A lot had happened over the last year, and the timing had finally felt right. Amelia and Olivia no longer lived with their uncle, though they did live in the spare apartment in the building with their mom. It had taken Catherine six months to get back to a place where she could be with her daughters again. Once she was healthy, she’d moved to New York, but it took another four months before the girls lived full time with her. Jagger now had joint legal custody of his nieces, something his sister had actually agreed to, rather than going back to court. The girls were happy to have their mom back, but they still spent a lot of time with us. Which was the reason this bathroom was lined with pastel nail polishes, bubble baths, hair clips, and a million other little-girl things, not to mention all of my beauty supplies. Seeing the clutter spread out all over the vanity—in what used to be an immaculate, nearly sterile apartment—made me smile.
“If you worked for me…” Jagger pouted. “…you would be able to take off whenever you wanted.”
Against the advice of everyone, including my stepfather and bossy boyfriend, I’d declined the Apex executive training program invitation. While it was the business opportunity of a lifetime, I knew it wouldn’t be healthy for our relationship. And I valued what we had personally too much to put it at risk. Balance was important to me, and it hadn’t been difficult to figure out where I preferred Jagger Langston to be in charge. He wasn’t happy with my decision, but it had all worked out for the best. The week after my internship ended, Louise—the sitter who took care of Amelia and Olivia—had a family emergency in Florida. Her mom had broken her hip, so she went down south to take care of her for a while and wound up not coming back. I was able to step in so the girls didn’t have to be introduced to a stranger. We had an amazing nine months together. And then when one door closed, another miraculously opened.
Remember Will, the head of the algorithm-engineering division at Apex? Well, he left and started his own company. Turned out, Jagger’s loss was my gain. I was now an AI algorithm engineer at Alchemy AI, Will’s amazing startup.
“I’ll only be at work for a few hours. And then tomorrow you’ll have me all to yourself for a full week.”
“You better have ice packs and Epsom salt in your suitcase because you’re going to need ’em.”
“What else am I going to need?” Jagger had kept the destination for our upcoming vacation under wraps. “You, at least, need to tell me if I need a bikini or a winter coat.”
Jagger slipped a hand inside my robe and pinched a nipple. Hard. “You’re assuming you’re going to be allowed to leave the room.”
With that, he begrudgingly let me get ready for work, and I stopped in the living room on my way out. If I wasn’t already head-over-heels in love with this man, the sight of him sitting shirtless on the couch with my dog snuggled up next to him, head on his lap while he snored, would’ve done it. I’d gotten Blue a few days after everything went down with Silas. Since I’d refused to move in with Jagger, he’d pushed me to get a dog. Of course, he was thinking more along the lines of a highly trained German shepherd or Doberman and not the lazy, extremely sleepy basset hound I’d picked up at the pet store a few doors down from the office. Blue was no longer lonely. Though I couldn’t even train him to sit on command, much less attack someone. Still, I liked to believe he’d protect me if push came to shove.
Blue snorted, waking himself up, and proceeded to fall off the couch.
Jagger shook his head. “What a guard dog.”
I bent down and kissed both my boys goodbye. “Why would I need a guard dog when I have a guard human?”
• • •
The following afternoon, I still had no idea where we were going when we arrived at the airport. Though I guessed it didn’t really matter. I was just excited that Jagger had taken off work for a full week. It was going to be his first vacation in six years.
Renee, the flight attendant, met us at the door with two flutes of champagne. She passed me one. “Happy birthday, Ms. Holland.”
It wasn’t until tomorrow, but rather than correct her, I smiled and took the champagne. “Thank you.”
The privacy curtain that led from the galley to the seating area was closed. She pushed it open so I could enter and…
“Surprise!”
My eyes widened. “Oh my God, Miles! What are you doing here?”
