Wags To Riches, page 32
“No” I admit, “He left a couple of messages on my mobile yesterday, but I haven’t phoned him back. I don’t know what to think to be honest. I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this really,” I say, shaking my head and drinking more wine. “I hardly know you and you must be really busy. I must be boring you to bloody death!”
Seb smiles. “Not a bit of it” he says, drinking his wine. “I’m fine”.
“Some people will do anything to make money and get in the papers you know” he says lightly after a moment. “Even if it means telling a load of lies and wrecking someone’s relationship” he says quietly, looking at me. We sit in silence for a few minutes and I toy with the wine glass in my hand, trying to think.
“Would you like something to eat?” Sebastian asks, breaking into my thoughts “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving!”
“I’d love some chips” I say firmly and Sebastian laughs. He’s got a nice laugh.
“I’ll go and find a menu,” he replies.
After eating some fried onion rings, chips and sharing another bottle of wine, I’m starting to feel much better. Seb has started telling me about the various escapades he and the band had been getting up to on their recent tour which have me in stitches, despite the misery I feel about Adam. The copious amount of wine I have drunk is helping to block out the pain too.
“Honestly – what are you like?” I say and giggle as I reach for another fried onion ring. “Fancy locking your tour manager out of the bus!”
“I know I know” Sebastian said smiling and took a sip of wine. “You have to do something to lighten the boredom between gigs sometimes. Seriously though” he continues, “The thing is Gail, we – the lads in the band that is - we get girls hanging round us all the time and we are not in the same league as Adam in terms of the old celebrity status”. He takes another drink, emptying his glass. “I know that most of them are only interested in me purely because I’m in a band and they think I’m rich!”
“Yeah – it helps that you are nice looking as well!” I add giggling again and taking another large slug of wine. I’m feeling quite pissed now, but I don’t care.
“Oh thanks Gail!” Seb replies blushing and laughing.
Our eyes meet and then suddenly Seb leans forward and kisses me. And I kiss him back – I want nothing more than to be able to lose myself completely in this moment, in this kiss – he is a gorgeous, funny guy who is a great kisser after all - but I cannot. All I can do is wish he was Adam and sadly he isn’t and so gently I move my head away.
“Gail – I’m so sorry!” Seb says, looking horrified. “Jeez – I don’t know what came over me!”
“Its fine” I say hastily, “To tell you the truth I’m really flattered but...”
“But you love Adam” Seb says softly.
“Yes I do” I say. “I love him so much Seb” I say, looking at him, “I don’t know what to do”.
“Well, if you want my opinion, I agree with your friend Alex – much as it pains me to say it - you’ve got to go and talk to him” Seb says.
“You’re right,” I say. “I should talk to him. And there’s no time like the present”. I’m going to do it right now. No more messing about. I finish my wine and stand up, albeit a little unsteadily. “Thank you so much Sebastian for listening to me and helping me. I’m going to go and talk to Adam now”.
“Where are you going?” Seb asks. “Are you going to get a plane back to Spain?”
I laugh in spite of myself. “No. I’m going home” I say. “I am going to go home and I hope he will be there”.
“Good for you Gail!” Seb says smiling and stands up too. “Allow me to escort you to a taxi” he says and we walk out of the pub. I am. I’m going home. I don’t know quite what I’m going to find when I get there, but whatever it is, I’ll deal with it. I’m going home. I love my home. I love Adam. Hic. Excuse me.
Chapter 29
We arrive at the taxi rank and I hurry – I don’t know how I manage it in my heels, but I do – up to the taxi at the front with Seb close behind me. Before I get into the taxi, I turn to him.
“Thanks Seb” I say. “Thank you so much for lunch and for listening”.
“Anytime” he replies, giving me a hug. “Why are all the best ones taken – that’s what I want to know! I think Adam’s an idiot” he says, ever so slightly slurring his words.
I laugh. “You’re lovely” I say and kiss him on the cheek. “You’ll just have to make do with one of the groupies you were telling me about!”
Sebastian grins. “I’ll give you my mobile number and you let me know how you get on, you hear? I’ll get you some tickets for our next gig as well” he adds.
“Thanks” I say smiling and after we exchange mobile phone numbers, Seb opens the car door and I get into the taxi.
“Take care Gail!” he says and closes the door.
“Where to love?” the taxi driver asks and I give him the address. “Please hurry!” I add and fasten my seatbelt. As the taxi makes its way through town, all I can do is think of Adam. My phone beeps to say I’ve got a text message and I wonder if it’s Adam, but when I open it, it’s from Seb:
Good luck! Seb X
I smile at the text message. He is so sweet and who knows? In another life....The taxi pulls up at a red light and my stomach churns with anxiety. I hope Adam’s at home. I’ve just got to get this sorted out. I can’t go on like this. Alex and Seb are right. I need to talk to him and sort this out once and for all. I still don’t know what to think though – I want to believe that he hasn’t done anything wrong – really I do – it’s just the dates all seem to add up. Oh God.
The taxi moves off from the lights and I peer out of the window at the rapidly darkening sky. Looks like it’s going to rain. I do love Adam. Oh God I hope he’s there. I wish I’d not drunk quite so much wine. I try to sober myself up a bit by gently slapping myself on the face, but that doesn’t seem to be doing anything, apart from getting a few strange looks from the taxi driver. Oh well – the wine’s giving me a bit of Dutch courage at any rate. I hastily stuff a couple of mints in my mouth and check my reflection in my mirror. Not too bad considering. Suddenly there’s a huge rumble of thunder and then the rain starts pouring down. Great.
We arrive at the end of the drive that leads down to the house and then the car engine just dies – there is steam pouring out from underneath the bonnet and a horrible smell of burning.
“God - what’s happened?” I ask the taxi driver.
“I don’t know, I’ll just get out and have a look” he replies, pulling the catch to open the bonnet before stepping out into the rain. He disappears under the bonnet in all the steam and then puts it back down, hurrying to get back into the car.
“I don’t know what it is, but I don’t think this car is going to go anywhere anytime soon” he says as he hurriedly gets back inside the car and shuts the door.
“WHAT?” I screech like a frustrated barn owl, “I’ve got to be somewhere and it’s really, REALLY important I get there as soon as possible!”
“Well – I’m sorry love,” the taxi driver replies, “There’s not a lot I can do, but I’ll radio for another taxi to get you on your way”.
“No it’s all right, I’ll walk” I say fiercely, taking out my purse and pressing a £20 note into the taxi drivers hand. “I can be there by the time another taxi arrives. Keep the change” and I get out of the taxi into the torrential rain. I try to walk as quickly as I can, but my heels on my shoes keep sinking into the ground and I slip more than a few times on the glossy wet gravel. I stop for a moment, blinking hard to try and keep the rain out of my eyes. “This is ridiculous!” I say aloud. “I’m getting nowhere fast and I’m going to end up with a broken ankle at this rate. My shoes are going to have to go”. I reach down, take off my shoes and holding one in each hand, start running.
About fifteen minutes later, I arrive panting and wet through and begin typing in the code, hoping against hope that Adam hasn’t changed it. Thankfully he hasn’t and the gates swing open. I run down to the house – the soles of my feet stinging like mad from the impact of the gravel. Oh I hope he’s at home! I race up to the front door, a raging stitch in my side. I haven’t even got my bloody key! Soaked to the skin, I ring the bell and wait. And wait.
“He’s not in is he?” I say aloud desperately. He’s probably in a lap dancing bar in Spain somewhere. I’m just about to turn away and ring for another taxi when Adam opens the door.
“Hello” I say in a small voice.
“Gail!” Adam says shocked. “Jesus Christ – you’re soaking! Come inside!” I step inside and Adam looks me up and down and gapes at my bare feet, which are now bleeding from the gravel and are absolutely killing me. “What the hell happened to your feet?” he asks, horrified. “Why the hell haven’t you got your shoes on?”
“The taxi broke down up there,” I say, gesturing wildly up the drive, “And I couldn’t run in my shoes”. Suddenly I burst into tears. “Adam – I’m – I’m so sorry!” I gulp and throw myself pissed and exhausted into his startled arms.
****
Half an hour later, after Adam has been up to check the taxi driver is okay and I’ve had a hot shower and a change of clothes, I’m sat snugly wrapped in a soft blanket on the living room rug, in front of the roaring fire. The rain is continuing to lash the windows outside, but I’m not in it any more thank God. My feet still hurt though.
Adam comes back into the room carrying two huge steaming mugs of hot chocolate. “Here you go. Get that down you – that will warm you up” he says, holding out a mug to me. He then places the other mug on the coffee table. “Now let me have a look at your feet,” he says as he sits down in front of me and I carefully slide my feet out from under the blanket.
Adam very gently takes hold of them and examines them. “Jesus – Gail!” he says, shaking his head as he looks at all the little cuts, “I’ll just go and get some antiseptic cream.” He gets up and goes into the kitchen to fetch the First Aid kit. “This might sting,” he warns me as he sits back down before carefully dabbing all the little cuts with cotton wool and antiseptic cream.
“Ow!” I wince. “That hurts like hell!”
“I know it hurts Gailey,” Adam says soothingly, “but we need to make sure that all the cuts are clean, otherwise they won’t heal properly and they could get infected. You need to take care of your feet and I’m not just saying that because I’m a footballer” he adds, smiling as he looks up at me. “There you go – that should do it,” he says and takes the First Aid kit back through to the kitchen. He returns a moment later and sits down on the rug opposite me. “Now, tell me again Gail” he says, reaching for his mug, “Why did you run down the drive in your bare feet?”
I take a sip of hot chocolate before answering. “My heels kept sinking and slipping on the gravel,” I reply miserably, “And I was so frightened of being late – of missing you I just panicked, took off my shoes and ran”.
“Oh Gail you daft cow!” Adam says softly. “I didn’t know what to think when I answered the door and saw you standing there!”
“Well I didn’t have my stupid key – everything is at Alex’s and Dave’s” I explain. “That’s where I stayed last night. Did you just get back today?”
Adam nods. “Yes – I managed to get a really early flight this morning and just came straight home. I’ve been so bloody worried about you Gail. I was about to come to Alex’s just to check you were okay, especially when you didn’t answer your phone.”
“I know - I should have texted you to let you know I’d got back all right, I admit that” I say. “Look – we need to sort this out. Tell me your side of the story and I promise I’ll listen”. Wish my feet would stop throbbing.
Adam looks at me for a few seconds. “This girl – Justine,” he begins, “I met her in a nightclub once ages ago – well before I met you”.
“What? That’s not what you said before!” I say indignantly, putting my mug down hard on the floor. “You told me that you didn’t even know who she was!” My heart has started pounding like a drum and my mouth suddenly feels so dry, it’s like I’ve eaten a sheet of blotting paper.
“Yeah – and you just told me you would listen! I didn’t say anything because I knew you would get upset and go off on one!” Adam retorts hotly. “And look what happened! You stomp off home from bloody Spain and don’t even give me chance to explain!”
I take a deep breath. Okay – I know I was wrong doing that. “Look” I reply, “I’m sorry about that. I know I shouldn’t have ‘stomped off’ as you put it and I know I shouldn’t have lost my temper and thrown my engagement ring over the balcony – I know all that. I was – well – I was just devastated after seeing all that bloody lot in the papers,” I add, glaring at him. “Can you not see that? And now you are saying ‘Oh actually - I do know her, which isn’t what you said before!”
Adam sighs deeply. “Look Gail” he replies, running his hand distractedly through his hair, “There’s nothing to get upset about. When I met her – well – all that happened was that she kept trying it on – flirting like mad with me and hanging round all the time, but I just wasn’t interested. I told her this as politely as I could and that’s it”.
No, that’s not it. “But Adam – why do all the dates add up then?” I say snappily as Adam gets up, walks over to the window and stares out at the rain. “You weren’t with me all those times, so where were you?”
“As I said at the time Gail” he replies without turning away from the window, “I was busy doing my house up if you remember. I’d just finished the master bedroom, I’d got a team of landscape gardeners in I needed to talk to and organise and then I was having the hot tub fitted – as well as the small matter of playing football, going to the gym and training! It’s just a horrible, horrible coincidence – no more than that. And seeing as its question and answer time” – he turns from the window, his face angry and his jaw set, “Why did you go? Is that your idea of sorting out a problem? Just run away? That’s very grown up isn’t it?”
“Well like I said,” I reply defensively, “I didn’t know what to do”.
“I thought you of all people would want to hear my side!” he says bitterly, turning back towards the window. Without waiting for a response he continues, “What exactly is it that you want from me now?” he asks.
“To sort this out properly,” I reply quietly. This is horrible.
“Well listen to me then!” Adam retorts.
“I am listening aren’t I?” I say sharply. “I can’t change what I did and I’ve said I’m sorry. But Adam – just answer me this...”
“What?” he asks, turning back towards me.
“If what you said is true and everything in that story is false…”
“Which it is,” Adam asserts.
“Okay – well,” Gail continues, “If that’s the case, then why not sue her? Or sue the newspaper?”
“Gail – if footballers sued everyone that made up stories about us – well we would be in court all the bloody time! We’d never get chance to play any football!” Adam says, shaking his head. He walks back over to me and sits down opposite. “Look, there’s nothing more I can say Gail. It’s up to you whether you believe me or not”.
I look at him for a moment. “I want to believe you” I say quietly, “but people always say ‘no smoke without fire you know?” I look into his eyes, seeking reassurance.
“Gail who are these people?” Adam says angrily, but before I can speak, he carries on. “I’ll tell you who they are – they are people who have got nothing else better to do than gossip about other people. And as for slags like her in the paper – well, they are just out to make money. It doesn’t really matter to them if anything actually happened or not, just so they can get in the paper. They don’t care if they wreck someone’s relationship in the process, they’re not bothered. You go out with me with Gail – so you are fair game” Adam says shortly. “It depends Gail on whether you trust me or not” he adds, looking into my eyes.
I don’t answer him. I look at my feet and then back up at him. “This is – this is what it’s going to be like though isn’t it?” I say quietly, more to myself than Adam.
“How do you mean?” Adam asks, looking at me warily.
“I must have got off lightly so far – but this is what it’s really like isn’t it? Girls throwing themselves at you, trying to get you into bed and...”
“And what Gail?” Adam asks.
“And me having to put up with it – I don’t want to be worrying about some gorgeous woman – not that that slapper in the newspaper is even pretty – but I don‘t want to be worried about some beautiful woman throwing themselves at you and you – well” I take a deep breath, “And you not being able to resist”.
Adam shakes his head and stands up quickly. “Not being able to resist?” he repeats in disbelief. “Gail, men always have a choice you know. We are not slaves to what lives in our trousers. We ALWAYS have a choice”. He paces up and down the living room and I watch him, not knowing what to say. Oh God.
“And you have a choice now Gail” he continues, looking back at me, “A choice as to whether you stay with me or not. I can’t change the world I live in, nor can I change the fact that people will write stuff about me. Haven’t I given you everything you ever wanted Gail?” he asks angrily.
“Oh – so that gives you the right to sleep around does it?” I retort, equally angrily. “The clothes, the car, the house?”
“No – I didn’t mean it like that” Adam says quickly walking back over to me, “You know I didn’t mean that. What I meant was why would I give you everything if I didn’t love you and didn’t want to be with you?” He leans towards me and takes my hands in his. “You are the only one for me Gail – you must know that” he says softly. “I trust you” he says and I have a pang of guilt as the memory of kissing Seb flashes across my mind. Well – there’s nothing I can do about that now. “Do you trust me?” Adam asks.
